Because of my own experience, I feel that I have to share these words: see faith as a window with
thick blinds or curtains. When you make the choice of opening those blinds/curtains, you will let
the Sun's rays pouring into your surrounding and touch you. Colours come to life and everything
that looked dark and obscure is lit by this massive beam of the Sun's light, and now all is brilliant
and vibrant. What looked hopeless and too difficult to distinguish in the darkness, is now just some
clutter that when illumined by the Sun, you can truly see what do you want to do out of it. Now
that is illuminated by the Sun's glorious Light, you can truly see clearly what is all this clutter
about, and then, in the warmth of the Sun's embrace, you will slowly clear it.
What am I trying to say here ? I tried very hard to make sense of my clutter in the room of my soul
on my own, I could indeed use a tiny lantern, but still, I really was tripping all the time, there was
just too much stored up in that tiny room, and my own lantern was not much help.
And so, that quiet still voice kept calling me in the quietness and stillness of the night of my soul.
That message and call many times came as a feeling, a longing to reach out, to ask for help. So one
day I opened a tiny little bit of that dusty old curtain, and a tiny shaft of brilliant light came. I was terrified... I thought that I was not worthy of this brilliance, this gentleness and warmth, this
beauty. Fear is indeed the most debilitating and the greatest illusion of all.
One day I dared to open just a little further that old thick dusty curtain, and allow myself to be
embraced by that Light. I craved it so badly, my longing for its familiar energy overpowered my
dread. And so, I sat in silence, and quietly, opened my heart and asked for help, because for the
first time, I knew, that I could not make it on my own. But this time, I asked the Light to be ever
present in my life, no matter what, I asked to guide me and help me now, at the present moment
and always. That's it. That was when slowly things started to change dramatically. I was willing to
give in, to give in my stubborn ways, because now I was ready to admit that alone I can't make it.
Fear and pain were conquered and transformed by the rays of that Sun, so powerful, and yet, so
gentle, kind and noble. Things that I could not forgive because I could not understand, in the Light
of the mighty gentle Sun, were no longer incomprehensible and detestable. Slowly, very slowly, I
started to give in and trust more and more. One day, the mighty Sun showed me that I am not a
spec of dust or clutter, I am part of the Sun Itself, I am a tiny ray of Its beautiful Light. Then I
understood, that there was no reason to fear and hide behind thick heavy dusty curtains anymore.
And so, what can I tell you more about this experience ? Once I realized the power and immense
beauty of this experience, once I realized that because we have free will, we have to be willing to
receive the Sun's Light, or shall I say, God's Love.
May these words inspire you and others in your and their darkest hour.
23