STEP BY STEP TO A HEALTHY SEX LIFE
Everyone around the world seek a healthy sex life, whatever the age. Those unfortunate ones who cannot perform well in the bedrooms are the ones who need to correct their ways. The way they think, eat, live, behave and above all their complete state of mind. As you proceed further, in later chapters you will come across ways to correct yourself in order to achieve a blissful sex life.
This chapter will give you preliminary tips on how to live a healthy sex life. If things improve, with you, reading and following this chapter it is well and fine, otherwise you may proceed and learn more about sex and how to enrich and make it explosive with better mind and body.
To improve your sex drive or libido you need to improve the testosterone level in your body, a hormone which helps you kick start your desire for having sex. This increase in the hormone level may be achieved by the following activities:
A healthy diet rich in protein, only sufficient carbohydrate and a small amount of fat. Regular meals in small quantity. It is always better to avoid meat protein, being the cause to cholesterol build up in the arteries. You will learn in later chapters about this.
Regular exercises, preferably weight training or vigorous program.
Healthy sleep pattern
Herbal and natural supplements
Snacks of nuts and resins
Control over stress and anxiety
Control over anger and depression
Should not worry over petty and small matters.
While it is nice to start your activities straight away by following the above advice, it will be equally advisable to avoid the following if you ever want to achieve success in your bedroom activity. These are but temporary distractions and a real health hazards. At least avoid them till such time, your sexual conditions improve. An intermittent indulgence may be OK so long it does not affect your sex life:
Alcohol, smoking, and drugs,
Soft drinks and colas,
Remaining indoors and leading a lazy lifestyle,
Food rich in fat, sugar, butter, spices, and refined ingredients,
Meat or eggs that is responsible for building up cholesterol in your arteries.
With the above combinations of do’s as well as don’ts, you will seek to find what you are looking for in the bedroom. Everyone dreams of being a successful and a good lover with skills in sex acts that will enthrall one’s partner. Skills in sex acts like skills in any other art, needs to be acquired and cultivated.
A successful sex between two people who may have spent years together is all about goodwill and respect for each other. If you do not respect each other or have repulsive thoughts about each other and yet want to make love, there is all possibility the effort will not be successful. The man may have an erection problem while the women may have a dry vagina.
To cut the matter short, you should know that foreplay is one of the greatest aphrodisiac and with an added amount of true affection for your partner; you could achieve a first class bedroom experience. The following are some of the foreplay ways you may find interesting;
MENTAL: Some sex talk, some pornographic videos, magazines, provocative pictures and bedroom fantasies. When the mental stimulation begins, the physical stimulation does not remain far behind.
PHYSICAL: Stimulating each other by rubbing the sensitive sexual organs. Engaging in masturbation and arousal of each other by touching the sensitive organs of each other. Oral sex is also a great way to arouse your partner especially when it comes to women’s clitoris. However, it is imperative the couple hygienically clean themselves before such an act. Massaging each other with flavored massage oil will add to the pleasures.
Having a bath together or engaging in a sexual act in a bathtub or swimming pool is another way to finding a new way to pleasure.
Sometimes the same bedroom becomes boredom; it is wise therefore, once in a while to get away from home into a resort or any hotel room where the surrounding and the atmosphere is different, quiet and peaceful with 100% privacy. This allows the couple to share a different environment and focus on each other completely. If you can add to this some pornographic movies, it will not only stimulate you both mentally but also give you a lesson on how to foreplay and make love. You can as well practice what you learn and observe from those movies.
It is imperative for the couple to be clean and smelling good before engaging in any sexual act.
Wear clothes and dress in a manner befitting your age, looks and skin hue. You should look harmonized and presentable; this creates a pleasant personality which is not out of place and liked by all.
Have a smile that will attract others. You do not expect your partner to make advances to you when you look like a schoolteacher or someone from the police force.
Look at your partner with a seductive look and maintain eye contact. This sends signal to your sex organs, and if you are sexually healthy, it gets into the initial process of stimulation and arousal.
Maintain a good posture and profile. This does not let you sag and make you look like a grandma or grandpa. You need to send a signal of sexual virility and not a school examination.
Never embarrass your partner by becoming a center of attraction or a joke in public. Undue anger, quarrelling in public or getting into an act, not befitting you may all lead to low sex drive in your partner and an aversion to make love with you.
Talk about matters that you both agree and share your views about. Do not get into any argument or pick up subject that may turn controversial or create resentment between you two.
When the time is right, express your feelings and your desire to make love with your partner. This can happen only when you both are in agreeing terms and in a congenial mood.
Never pick up, rake old issues, or discuss the bad side of one’s parents or any relatives that may turn the situation uncomfortable. You are asking for trouble and not sex.
Show signs of intimacy and closeness. If you are on your way home or sitting on a couch watching TV or listening to music or reading, get close and snug into each other, it makes sense to show your affection for each other before even you decide to make love.
Have plenty of fun and good time before you decide upon getting into the bedroom act. This stimulates the mind and calms the nerves for another session of fun, indoors.
Never make it compulsory to have sex with your partner during romantic moments. It should be in the card but making it a compulsory act, only makes the situation tense and routine or obvious. When you keep the act optional and go for it only when things are hot and amicable, you will not fail in the performance. This requires time in hand, patience, making an effort and an open mind to sex.
Certain other skills need to be learnt if you want to improve your sexual act. Some things to remember are as follows:
Practice to contract your rectum muscle which is connected to your penis. This helps delay your ejaculation.
Another way to delay your ejaculation is by keeping your mind calm and taking the act easy and slow, without too much excitement. Also focusing on matters other than the sex act takes away the mind from the act thereby delaying the ejaculation.
Sometimes the girl on top helps the man remain less exited. The women doing the act and the man only maintaining his erection with some movements However, this position needs a lot of energy and stamina.
To get away from the boredom of usual sex positions couples may try different positions to bring excitement in their sex act. One can observe and learn from pornographic movies different positions of lovemaking.
During the later stages of pregnancy, lovemaking is possible only when the male take a standing position and avoid contact with the stomach.
Anal sex is undesirable and unhygienic in most cases. However, it is a known fact that some people enjoy anal sex and it is a great way to stimulate the otherwise dying sex drive in many people.
Sometimes when erection is unsuccessful, one can try putting a pillow under the hip of the woman and in a lubricated vagina, insert the otherwise un-erect penis. With gradual stimulation to the penis in the vagina, going up and down, there could be an erection followed by a successful love making session.
Music, ambience, aroma and privacy play an important part in getting sexually aroused.
Finally, it is the connection of two minds that plays a very important role in love making and erection and lubricated vagina. Without this mental rapport, sex can never be the way it should be. Commitment, responsibility, caring, focus and intimacy all goes into creating an atmosphere of wellbeing, which is the first essential of good love making in a long lasting relationship, where sexual act could turn boring.
Remember, your body is not a machine that will be turned on immediately when you plan to make love. You are a complex being with emotions, responsibilities, as well as commitments every day of your life. It is physically not possible for you to have an erection all the time, especially with the same women with you may have spent several years together. You need to, therefore, give time to yourself to get your mind into the mood of lovemaking and allocate that time slot to experience the pleasurable moments together. Hurrying will only add fuel to fire and it will take you longer to get an erection or no erection at all. This may have nothing to do with sex problem; it is only your mind, which keeps you away from getting an erection. Do not get mislaid if you have unsuccessful erections sometimes. Analyze the reason and you may come up with the correct answer for it.