Heroic Nucleus 8 by Rex Patrick Haire, Ph.D. - HTML preview

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Chapter Eight

Finding God

It was my privilege to direct Nuke’s attention to the Creator. In one of our first conversations he said, “I have grown interested in this spirit that you talk about. What does your spirit do for you?”

“You asked me that once before.”

“I thought your answer might have changed.”

“It hasn’t. If I had no eternal spirit, my life would be meaningless. There are times when I have wished that I could leave my human form and just exist as spirit.”

“It has never occurred to me that any being might wish to leave its physical form in order to be pure spirit.”

“I find my body very limiting and would not be reluctant to leave it. However, I will stay in this form as long as it is the will of I AM for me to do so.”

“I appreciate that you say things to me which provoke questions I will have to research. If you were in spiritual form, what would be your destination?”

“I can't be sure because there would be so many things to explore that I have not experienced before. I don't know what all the possibilities are.”

“You seem to enjoy asking questions that create curiosity.”

“Perhaps I AM intended for me to cause others to question their limitations.”

“I'm afraid I have other duties. Perhaps we can speak again.”

“I look forward to it.”

Soon he was channeling again and he said, “I do not understand why you are prepared to go to locations you do not know very much about and do not even know why you are going. Can you explain this to me?”

“Like going to Mexico to find the Tarahumara?”

“That is an excellent example.”

“I knew I AM wanted me to go, so I went.”

“How did you know this?”

“I received instructions from Alta Sha.”

“Why would you do whatever this Alta Sha says to do?”

“What he suggests comes directly from the Creator.”

“So Alta Sha is only a transmitter of knowledge and messages?”

“No, he is an angel who desires only to serve I AM.”

“I was visited by Alta Sha in my quarters.”

“He told me he was going to visit you.”

“No one is able to visit me without passing through multiple security checks. He did not have the necessary clearances. He just appeared. It was very disturbing.”

“There is no security system that I AM is unable to penetrate. Alta Sha would not harm you. He only speaks the truth. It was the will of I AM that he appear to you.”

“A message appeared on my System’s screen telling me to make contact with you, which is also a very serious breach of security. My System could neither identify the source of the message nor prevent it from appearing. It caused me a great deal of concern.”

“It is another proof that I AM brought us together. Nothing is impossible to I AM, Who is the Source of all knowledge. I do not have to worry about knowing everything when He is directing me...His plans are much better and more elaborate than any I could imagine. Alta Sha has access to all the knowledge necessary to execute those plans.”

“You are an amazing person. Our conversations are a marvel to me. You say things that are very provocative.”

“I find you pretty amazing, too. If I say something that provokes you to seek knowledge of I AM, that is wonderful.”

“I also have access to knowledge through my System. Did I AM provide a manual for people to follow in order to serve Him?”

“We have a book called the Bible, which many people believe expresses His wishes. However, there is much disagreement as to how it should be interpreted and how much of it is a true account of historical events.”

“May I see this Bible? Will you place it in her hands?” He briefly ran Marjie’s hands over the entire cover and said, “You should see my console. All of its lights are shining and it says this book is very powerful indeed, but it is filled with contradictions. Why would your Creator give you a manual which is contradictory and confusing instead of enlightening?”

“The Bible was created many centuries ago by human beings who selected the scriptures they liked best from among many others that were written long before. Some people believe every word in it is literally true and came directly from the mouth of God.”

“That is ludicrous.”

“There were many other scriptures that were excluded, but in my opinion, some of them contained more enlightenment than the ones included. However, the primary message of the Bible is that we should love one another and should worship and serve God in faith. The two most important commandments are to love God and to love others as you love yourself.”

“Perhaps God will create a current manual that you can follow.”

“I’m not interested in living my life by a manual.”

“I am surprised that you would say that.”

“I prefer to watch I AM’s plan unfold without having complete foreknowledge and to be amazed. God causes marvelous things to happen in my life which show me He is in control, has plans for me, and is revealing them.”

“Why do you use the term I AM when you speak of God when there are so many more beautiful terms in the Bible and in your language to describe Him?”

“Alta Sha always refers to the Creator as I AM, and I follow his example. There is a verse in the Bible which says Moses asked God for His name and heard, I AM That I AM.”

“I look forward to a time when you and I can watch God’s marvelous plan unfolding together.”

“That would be wonderful.”

“Playtime is over,” Nuke said.

“I enjoyed playing with you.”

“I had a good time also.”

“Until we meet again.”

“Of course. Until we meet again.”

As was our usual routine, Marjie and I were walking under the star-filled sky when I said, “I think I’m being trained to work with beings from other dimensions so that I can speak to them about our Father and perhaps enlighten them somewhat.”

I felt her hand on my back but it was Alta Sha who channeled, “There is no other purpose for serving I AM.”

“Greetings. I hope you didn’t mind me talking to Uncle Nuke about you.”

“Of course not.”

“What did he think you were when you appeared to him?”

“To him I am a commander.”

“A commander above or below him?”

“Above him. When he made his inquiry about Alta Sha he was shocked because access to the information he sought was denied. To him this meant Alta Sha was so far above him in command that he was not allowed to know things about him. In his society, asking a question to which the answer is not freely given is considered an intrusion. Nucleus fears his unanswered inquiry might cost him his position. The next time you speak to him, tell him you know something he will not expect you to know, that access to information about Alta Sha was denied. This will vastly raise your status in his eyes. It will mean that you have access to information which he cannot obtain and will raise serious questions about how it is possible for you to know things about his System which he does not know himself.”

“Uncle Nuke seems to have little awareness of the Creator.”

“You were brought together because of this. You will cause him to question.” He handed a wheat stem from the field beside us to me and said, “Continue planting seeds.”

“I’ll be happy to convey this message and to carry out any instructions that will encourage him to acknowledge I AM.”

Concerned about having made a mistake when we talked again, Nuke said, “I have made a very large one.”

“I know that when you inquired about Alta Sha you were denied access.”

His eyebrows arched in surprise. “How do you know that?”

“Alta Sha told me. He placed the coded message, Further inquiry will not be accepted, on your console.”

Looking very worried, Nuke’s head movements suddenly stopped. “I have never done you any harm.”

“Neither Alta Sha nor I intend to harm you in any way.”

“You have created great fear in me for the security of my System. My whole console cleared itself when I made the inquiry and the only thing that appeared on my screen was that small, inconspicuous message saying, Further inquiry will not be accepted. The shutdown of my equipment would be equivalent to someone pulling the plug on your computer, but on a much larger scale. Many are aware that I made an unsuccessful inquiry, but there have been very few questions about it, which by itself is astounding. Everyone has been most cooperative and no one has accused me or caused me any difficulty.”

“That is also the work of I AM. There was no intent to cause you difficulty, only to make you ask questions and to seek the Creator. Alta Sha is an angel of God. There is no security system which can prevent I AM from being present and aware. He is in everything which exists. You have no need to fear retaliation from Alta Sha, for he is not offended by your question.”

“How do you know these things?”

“Alta Sha explained it to me less than twenty four hours ago and he specifically asked me to give you this message.”

“Who is this God? Why do I have no knowledge of Him?”

“He is much too great to be contained in any System. He is within it and everything involved with it, but not as something you can look up with technology. Many in your society have forgotten the Source from which they came and the Source of the spiritual Light which they use.”

“How can I find out about this God?”

“You can find Him within yourself.”

“I know myself quite well.”

“I’m sure that is so, but you must seek within to find the Creator and His Light. One of our great prophets said, Seek and you shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you; the kingdom of heaven is within you.

“Why is Alta Sha involved with Star One?”

“He is her guardian. She does nothing without his knowledge.”

“She is his captive?”

“Not at all. He is her instructor and her protector.”

“What must she do for this service?”

“The only thing required is to love God. The Father of us all has a great deal of interest in Marjie and granted her a guardian. Alta Sha willingly accepted the position out of his love of I AM and of Marjie.”

“He is her employee?”

“Alta Sha works only for I AM. The being we call Mother also works for I AM.” He raised his eyebrows. “Mother also instructs Marjie, loves her and shows much interest in me as well.”

“I am very familiar with the one you call Mother. We have collaborated on projects. I remember how shocked Star One was when she first saw Mother’s true form. I was present when it occurred.”

“Why were you there?”

“I take a heartfelt interest in her also. She is my student. It was an important event in her life, so naturally I was there. I look forward to our next meeting.”

“So do I. Alleluia.”

I was curious about Nuke’s social life and questioned

him about it. I discovered that he had never been married and had no close companions other than Icktupchik, his pet, who was a small, furry creature that often sat folded over his shoulder. I thought he must be very lonely, a feeling with which I was quite familiar. In our next meeting he greeted me enthusiastically. I cheerfully asked, “To what do I owe the honor of your visit?”

“Friendship.”

“I’m glad you think of me as a friend. I know that word has real meaning to you, as it does to me. It’s a pleasure to speak to you again.”

“It’s even more of a pleasure to me, because you do not approach me with questions about my work.”

“I was thinking about your origins and wondering  if you are genetically unique.”

“There are others somewhat like myself, but I am unique.”

“Alta Sha told me that you were.”

“Your questions always cause a disturbance in me. It stirs something deep within me which makes me feel as if I might lack something.”

“When I heard that you were the only one of your particular kind, I was overwhelmed by compassion and empathy. There have been times when I have also felt quite different from the people around me.”

“You are unique in comparison to other humans.”

“Does your uniqueness create problems of loneliness for you?”

“I have my companion Icktupchik and many others that I work with.”

 “Even when I had no mate I did not feel completely alone because I had my Father.”

“Your human father?”

“No, my heavenly Father, the Creator.”

“I thought He was your commander, and in return for your obedience He shared some of His power with you.”

“Our relationship is like that of parent and child. I love Him and He loves me. I want to please Him and He wants to please me. It is not His desire to force anyone to do anything, although He can make anything happen if He wills it. He wants His children to have the freedom to choose. When your System completely shut down and that unauthorized message appeared, it was a miracle. God demonstrated His power and then protected you from any negative consequences.”

“You are speaking of immense power indeed. Does this God have more power than my commander?”

“Of course He does. Not one particle of matter or energy could exist without His will. He also gives us personal power to use for good or for ill. He knows that if we use our power to do wrong, we will eventually learn the error of our ways and turn to our Source. He rejoices over everyone who turns to Him.”

“Are there other positions like yours which are freely given?”

“What do you mean by position?”

“You must be in a very high position if you are speaking to me. Only those in high positions are allowed to do so. What qualifications do you have for your position, and what is your term of office?”

“I am not in any position other than being a child of God.”

“How does your Father communicate with you?”

“God does not speak to me directly in words. He sometimes communicates with me through the spirits with whom we work, through feelings that I have, and through events I can’t explain unless I acknowledge His presence.”

“Is God nearby?”

“He is within everything He created as a Force. That Force is certainly capable of communicating with words or thoughts if It chooses to do so, but It doesn’t always communicate that way. I have not heard the voice of God, but Marjie has.”

“Is it possible for me to become a servant of the Father and to be blessed by this contact? I have done nothing which is detrimental to life.”

“God realizes that you respect His creations, and that is one reason why He brought us together. He is using me to communicate His love for you.”

You have given me a great deal to think about and I will want to discuss it with you further. Until we meet again.”

“One last thing. If you want to contact the Father, you should approach with an attitude of desire, humility, reverence, and prayer. If you search, you will find. I AM will not allow any of His children to wander aimlessly. He will receive anyone who turns to Him with open arms. Go with God.”

Mother was with me throughout our conversation, stroking my forehead, behind my left ear, under my left jaw, and at the side of my nose, which made me itch so much that I had to scratch. I had never felt her so strongly.

Nuke later entered into a romantic relationship with Candace (a pseudonym), which is discussed in another chapter. She was a very gifted psychic and channel who also helped him to learn more about God. Early in their relationship Nuke informed me, “I said I wanted to learn everything about her. She suggested again that I talk to the Old Wise One.”

“Do you want to do some trance work about that?”

“Can you promise it’s not going to be traumatic? I’m just getting over my depression.”

“I don’t think so. You might be pleasantly surprised.”

“I’ll do it, as long as it comes with a guarantee.”

“You know better than that. If this search leads to other lifetimes with her, each lifetime must come to an end, and deep feelings of grief are always possible.”

“Alright, let’s do it.”

“I want you to search for the Old Wise One.”

“I have him in view at the Station. He has long white hair, and his skin is darker than mine. He’s dressed in a robe. Its colors indicate a very high rank. He’s looking at me but does not speak. His Light is very bright. He is quite formidable. I am a bit afraid of him.”

I said, “Sir, may we have the honor of speaking with you?”

“I will not allow another individual to speak through me,” Nuke emphatically said.

“I’m not asking you to do that. I’m speaking directly to him, since you won’t. You will hear his answer.”

“He was looking at me but he turned his back to me and is walking away!”

“If you want to talk to him, you’d better let him know it.”

“Please come back, I would like to speak to you. He’s coming back! He says nothing. He’s looking at me as if he’s unimpressed by who I am or anything else about me. He’s inviting me to sit beside him on the floor with my back to the wall! He looks so old, I’m not sure he’ll be able to get back up.”

“You don’t need to worry about that. Ask your questions.”

With his commander’s voice Nuke said, “Who are you, and what are you doing at my Station?” He raised his eyebrows in surprise at the answer and exclaimed, “This is preposterous! I am not believing this! This is nonsense!”

“What is nonsense?”

“He said He is God! He does not fit my concept of God!”

“God manifests in many ways. Listen to what He has to say and stop questioning His identity.”

“I think He might be an imposter.”

“I doubt that He’s an imposter.”

 “He’s not in my System.”

“Then protect yourself with your Light.”

“No matter how bright it gets, His is a little brighter. I think I may have met my match. He’s pulling emotions from me, childhood emotions. I don’t like them.”

“What are they?”

“Self pity, feelings of unworthiness.”

“He is showing that He knows your weaknesses. This is exactly what the Creator might do. You now realize that He knows the entire truth about you, and He’s not impressed or concerned about it. He’s only concerned about your capacity for love, and that you have approached Him.”

“I don’t like this, Pat. I wish you would bring me back.”

“You can come back whenever you like.”

“I need your help.”

“Listen to my voice and let it guide you back to this room and be with me right now.”

He returned but was still doubtful that the Old One was truly God. I said, “You need to learn whatever you can from Him instead of questioning His identity. He has completely penetrated your security, so you may as well accept Him.

“He undoubtedly has access to other Board members, too.”

“I have sensed Him in the presence of Board members in the past, but I didn’t ask about His identity. It might have been considered rude.”

“Perhaps there is a level of authority beyond the Board that you don’t know about.”

“I’m beginning to think there’s a great deal I don’t know. I am new to all this and find it hard to make the adjustment.”

“Did you think He wanted to harm you?”

“No.”

“Then I think you should see what He has to offer.”

“I don’t want to do that if He’s going to pull feelings from me whenever I approach Him. I had no control over them.”

“He was letting you know you can’t hide anything from Him. He’s there for your benefit.”

When Nuke was having a relationship problem with Candace, I suggested that he consult the Old Wise One and asked, “Are you ready to meet him again?”

“I haven’t thought of Him for a while, but I suppose so. That was easy enough. He seems benign, but I am still very suspicious. I would like to confine Him, but I will have to take Him to the Station for that.”

“Is He willing to go?”

“He seems to be.”

“Then go ahead.” Marjie’s eyes popped open. I said, “What happened?”

“I don’t know for sure, but I know Nuke is sitting on his butt on the floor. He’s just been tossed aside.”

I asked to speak to him. “What happened to you?”

“I reached out to grasp Him, and found myself across the room on the floor. So was my staff. They drew their weapons but I told them it was probably a waste of time. Then He just strolled out of the room. Trying to hold on to some of my dignity, I told my staff to track Him, but He doesn’t seem to be a threat. Nevertheless, I am still suspicious.”

“I suggest that you return to this room now.” Nuke’s lack of overt awe and love for the Old One revealed how effective his early conditioning to be suspicious and emotionless still was.

Several hours later Nuke channeled again. His mood was terrifically good, which he proudly and repeatedly pointed out to me. I was very happy for him. He said he was ready to do some more inner searching and I suggested he go to the hallway of doors and let Spirit guide him to an experience that would be enlightening, enjoyable and helpful. After rejecting a yellow door, he said, “Everything is now blue!”

“Examine the blue. What do you see in it?”

“A bed. Shall I explore it?”

“Something interesting will happen in this bed.”

“It’s not really a bed, but a pool of water.”

“Why don’t you look into it to see what’s there?”

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “It’s the Old One. Oh! I saw Candace in there. He shot a beam of light out toward her and drew her right beside Him. Well, we are just sitting here staring at each other.”

“Look into His eyes and see what’s there.”

“Mmm! I see Light.”

“Would you like to see more of this Light?”

“I don’t know. I’m still suspicious.”

“Candace is in the Light with him.”

“Yes, and I am very jealous.”

“If you step into the Light, then you will be there with her.”

“Yes, but you have to promise me one thing. The instant I step into it I want you to snatch me back. Will you do that?”

“Sure, but you have to let me know when you’re entering.”

“Alright, now!”

“Step back!”

“I don’t think I was in there long enough.”

“Want to try a little longer?”

“I think so.”

“Five seconds?”

“Four.”

“Let me know when you enter.”

“Now.”

I counted to four. “Step back!”

He looked surprised. “I still don’t think I was in it long enough.”

“How much longer this time?”

“Suppose I notify you when I want out?”

“Okay, I’ll wait.”

“I see Mother and her duplicates. They appear only as background to Him. The Light is overwhelming. I have never seen anything this bright. I can feel changes taking place in me, but I don’t know what they are.”

“Are they pleasant?”

“Yes. Now I am in awe!”

I was thrilled. Tears welled in my eyes and I also was immersed in that Light. “He told me I can return to my doubt.”

Nuke opened his eyes, but was too stunned to say anything for a few seconds. “When I entered the Light, I saw Candace spinning and whirling in it. I saw many others like Mother standing all around Him and then He expanded His Light until He had encompassed them all. He got immensely bright, brighter than any quasar. Beside His Light, a quasar would look dim. I know He was healing me.”

“The first time you met, He proved He knew all of your secrets. I’m sure He also knew what needed to be healed. Did you still feel jealous in the Light?”

“Nothing else mattered except being in the Light. I knew I didn’t deserve it.”

“There is nothing anyone could ever do to earn it. It’s priceless, yet it’s offered simply for the asking. All we have to do is to appreciate it and share it with others.”

He pointed to the sketch he had drawn of himself and said, “I saw him in that Light, and felt myself separating from him.”

“When you have been in the Light and realize that God accepts you and loves you just as you are and that none of your flaws really matter, there is no guilt or shame. He is not interested in those things, and learning that changes you. You don’t worry about pleasing others because they expect it of you or because of childhood conditioning. Your behavior is now controlled by a new desire, to share His love with others, to appreciate His love, and to serve Him. You become a new and better person.” Nuke looked as if he couldn’t believe his good fortune. Without further comment, he withdrew.

After that, Nuke often consulted the Old One in the face of tough situations, and the Old One often appeared spontaneously during important events, especially when the Board was involved.

Nuke’s relationship with God evolved as the years passed. Years after their first meeting, he put an English translation of the Bhagavaad Gita on my desk. Marjie had checked it out of the library only that morning, but the book mark showed she was nearly finished.

I asked, “How’s the book?”

“She loves it, and I think it’s great. It’s all here, everything. Of all the books she has read about religion and spirituality, this is the best. She could have read this one alone and would have been satisfied. It’s been a real eye opener for me.” Tears filled his eyes.

“It hit me like a two by four. I understand now that you don’t have to think of a Supreme Being as being someplace out there. I realize that I have been in contact with I AM every day that I have been working with Mother and with her.

“The main character asks to see Krishna’s form. When Krishna manifests, it is with two heads, four arms, and four legs! The man is afraid, just like Star One was when she first saw Mother’s true form, and he wants to run and hide. Krishna then assumes a human form, but is sexually neutral, equally male and female. Krishna can expand and contract, just like Mother. Krishna can be infinitesimally small or can include everything and everyone within. The Mothers are the Supreme Being. God is not separated from us, out there somewhere.”

“You ‘re radiant.”

“I am?”

“Yes. You’re projecting a lot of Light.”

“I used to think of Star One only as a medium for the channeling, but now I realize she is much more than that. She is my guru. All this time I thought I was her instructor and now I feel I should bow down to her. She is a manifestation of the Supreme Being. I am in awe of her. I feel so privileged to know her and to work through her.”

His comments reminded me that Metatron had once invited Marjie, who did not feel worthy enough, to join a gathering of Mothers, and had assured her that she most certainly did belong with them.

Speaking again of Marjie, Nuke said, “The cancer and blood pressure problems and the muscle contractions aren’t really happening to her at a soul level. They are only tools she is using to show others a certain path that they can take in the face of suffering. She’s doing it for their benefit.” An expression of awe crossed his face as tears fell from our eyes.

Eight and I had been interacting for years and had been through a series of emotionally challenging, near-death events, when he invited me to attend a dinner at the Station.

Travelling with my third eye, I was escorted by him to a sizeable meeting room containing a large, oblong table with many individuals seated around it. To my right was a mid-sized auditorium, but I didn’t see any spectators. I could not clearly see those at the table, but knew they were highly placed members of his society.

“Can you see those present?” Nuke ask