Let us understand first what is the mind before we understand what is anger.
Definition of the mind
There are five main defilements or corruptions of the mind – lust, anger, greed, attachment and ego. The existence of mind is due to these defilements. Or it can also be said that because these defilements exist, the mind exists. Some also believe that because there is mind, that is why these five defilements exist.
Mind is unstable, always restless, and forever keeps on changing. If it is filled with jealousy in the morning, then it is filled with anger in the afternoon, with greed in the evening and confusion in the night. It is changing every moment. Sometimes it is sad and sometimes happy. Sometimes it is miserable, sometimes joyful. One moment it is filled with faith, the other with distress and doubts. Just now it was filled with reverence, now it is full of dishonesty. It was displaying compassion some time back, now it is filled with anger. Once it was ready to die for somebody, now it wants to kill that same person. This mind keeps on changing every moment. Therefore it just cannot be trusted. And we have become one with this ever-changing mind. We have become identified with this mind. This unstable mind is what we respect and trust.
Actually mind is an illusion. We will have to understand this mind. How was the mind created? Illusion means that which does not exist, but feels like it does. Mind does not exist, yet it feels like it ‘is’. If you put a stick in water, it appears to be crooked or bent, but it is not crooked. It is like a rope that appears to be a snake in the dark. It is just because of darkness that the rope appears to be a snake, it is actually not a snake. Similarly because of ignorance, it appears that mind exists, but actually it does not. To understand this, we will have to see the mind in the light of knowledge.
The creation of the mindThe mind gets created because of our identification with it. As soon as we say that I am the body, I am the mind, the mind gets created. The moment we associate with the mind, it feels like ‘I am the mind.’ When we associate ourself with wealth, we feel ‘I am wealthy’. When we associate ourself with a position, we feel, ‘I am the Prime Minister.’ When we associate ourself with religion, it becomes, ‘I am a Hindu’, ‘I am a Muslim’, etc. To whatever you add ‘I’, you become that. In a wedding, the moment you put the wedding ring on the bride, a whole set of relatives are suddenly born. You had no in-laws a few moments ago. The moment you put the ring, a long line of relations are born. Similarly, as soon as you said,‘I am the mind’ – you have put a wedding ring around the mind. You have garlanded the mind. Now the relatives of the mind also become yours. There also it’s a long line... lust, anger, malice, envy, rivalry, jealousy, confusion, sadness, joy, sorrow, friendship, enmity, anxiety, restlessness, success-failure... You get related to so many relatives.
The five defilements of the mindAmong these various vices, the five main defilements are – longing, anger, greed, attachment and ego. Longing or desire has been regarded as the most powerful weapon of mind. Mind derives its life from it. Continuously, the mind is giving rise to desires, and continuously desires are arising. And when desires are not fulfilled, it leads to anger. When a desire gets fulfilled, it leads to greed. Due to greed, when we start accumulating possessions, then arises the attachment for those things. And after acquiring possessions, arises ego. Thus this vicious cycle goes on.
What is anger?Generally, it has been seen that when people get angry, they use bad language, they insult others, shout, scream or even get down to hitting. And if they are not able to do that, then they start throwing and breaking things.Their only intention is that by using any method, others should agree with them. If not, at least their displeasure should be expressed.
Anger means punishing ourself for others’ mistakes. Whenever one sees another’s mistakes, he gets angry. But at that time, he forgets that by getting angry he is punishing himself, torturing himself. Let us understand this through an example. When we put a sugarcane into a sugarcane machine, the machine gets it sweetness first and later others get the benefit of the sweet juice. But if we put stones in that machine, then it will be the machine first that will get damaged. From this example if we consider our body to be that machine, then stones are the thoughts of anger, which will harm us first. If a person curses somebody, then it may or may not have a negative effect on the other. But certainly it will affect the person who is cursing.
Anger is a habit. In childhood there are no habits.Then one or two behaviours are repeated. As they are repeated, gradually they become a habit. When this habit is entrenched deeper, then it becomes a tendency. Tendencies are even deeper than habits. Due to a habit, a person may get angry even without any cause. Then due to the development of a tendency, he feels strange if he does not feel anger. It is very much possible to get liberation from the habit of anger. Initially, it might seem a little difficult, but even deep rooted tendencies can be uprooted. Every habit can be broken. Some habits may take a short time to break, some may take a longer time, but they can all be broken. The moment you understand that anger causes harm to the one who is getting angry, then it is easier to break this habit or tendency.
The relation between attachment and angerVery often people consider anger as bad and attachment as good. But there is a deep relation between attachment and anger. Anger and attachment seem to be different, but actually are the two sides of the same coin. People desire freedom from anger but are not ready to relinquish attachment. People want to be rid of anger because anger comes cloaked in the blanket of hatred. However, they don’t want to relinquish attachment since attachment comes cloaked in the blanket of love. Anger is offending, even disgusting and troublesome. But we have to get rid of both since both have the same age; one lasts as long as the other. Yet, attachment is acceptable to man. Actually attachment can be as bad since it leads to obsession. A mother is attached to her child. She thinks attachment is but natural. But then this attachment can turn into obsession. When her child falls sick, she starts crying. If her child doesn’t eat, even she doesn’t eat. This is obsession. Now she has begun to harm herself and thus compromise her ability to take care of the child. Only if she is healthy can she take proper care. But due to attachment, she feels that if my child has not eaten then I shouldn’t eat too. In this way love changes into attachment. The gist is that attachment means clinging. Just like it is essential to get rid of anger, it is essential to be free from attachment too. Lesser the attachment and identification, lesser is the possibility of anger.
The relation between ego and angerEgo and anger are two animals, one white and the other black. White does not feel as bad as the black one because white is subtle but black is prominent or obvious. In the same way, anger is obvious while ego is imperceptible. When somebody is angry, it can be clearly seen but an egoistic person’s ego remains hidden. Here we have to understand that the cause and effect both lie within us. Ego is the cause and anger is the effect. Ego is subtle and so it cannot be seen. But anger is gross, so it can be seen. If somebody’s ego is hurt, he gets angry. Anger is the symptom and ego is the disease.
The relation between compassion, love and angerAnger and compassion are two polarities. Compassion is the opposite of anger. If we use the word ‘love’ instead of compassion, it reflects attachment to some extent. That is why compassion has been regarded as the opposite of anger. Compassion contains no attachment. Generally love and attachment are considered as being synonymous. Actually, there is no attachment in love, but there is attachment in obsession. Today, the definition of love is considered as attachment coupled with excitement. What I love, that should be mine. A personal attachment develops for it. If you see a bird flying in the sky, you feel love for it and you want to put it in a cage. Putting it in a cage is not love, it is attachment because love will want to set it free and not bind it. Seeing it flying free, love had arisen in your mind because love will be happy only to see it free. Attachment wants to take away its freedom.And when you cannot cage it,you feel angry. Attachment is the link between desire and anger. Improve your spiritual understanding about 'attachment' and how life is impersonal and liberate yourself not only from anger, but all the other corruptions of the mind; all of them arising out of attachment and identification.
A TALE OF ANGERThere was a small village where some monks used to go on their rounds for alms. One monk used to go every day to a lady’s house asking for alms, where each day he would get some bread. After some days, that lady started getting angry on this monk – “Every day he comes and stands at my doorstep for begging!”
One day in a fit of anger, she put some poison in the bread and gave it to the monk. He took it and went away. In the late afternoon when the lady was busy with her work, the monk returned. He was carrying a dead body on his shoulder. The lady was shocked to see the monk alive. When he came near, she saw the dead body – she was stunned – that dead body was of her son. Her cries turned into screams when the monk told her that he had died because of eating some poisonous bread. This monk used to go every day to the jungle and if he met any hungry person, he would give a part of the bread to that person. That day in the jungle, he met this lady’s son who was very hungry and hence the monk had given him the entire bread.
The purpose behind telling this story is to point out what one could lose owing to anger. How a small spark of anger can turn your life into ashes. There is no need to get so angry with someone that you want to kill him. It could have happened that this lady could have just refused to give any alms to the monk, but she became angry enough to take his life and lost her own son in the bargain.
Remember when you are in anger you are just one letter short of danger.