Step Five:
Let Go
Years ago I discovered that most of us, myself included, don’t like to let go and allow because there’s nothing for us to grapple with. There’s no drama. Most of us feel that if we can’t get in there and fight and struggle, we don’t feel like we’re accomplishing anything or getting anywhere. The struggle gives a sense of accomplishment. At least you can say, “Hey, I tried.”
The ego gets a big rush out of struggle. The ego gets to feel that it is doing something worthwhile. Well, that’s okay. If your ego needs a pat on the back, let it struggle for some of the things that you desire. But the truth is, you don’t have to struggle at all. Again, it can be another way...an easier way.
I used to teach a class called “The Inner Game of Writing.” It was modeled after the work of Tim Gallwey, who wrote The Inner Game of Tennis and co-authored several other “inner game” books. What I discovered was that we have at least two distinct beings within us, not personalities so much as aspects of our mind. Gallwey called it Self One and Self Two.
Self One can be likened to your ego, the part of you that wants to control.
Self Two can be likened to the inner master within you, the part of you that is connected to all things.
The job of Self One is to select what you want and let go. The job of Self Two is to bring it to you.
Gallwey learned that when people learned to let go and trust, they got what they wanted more often than not, and it came much easier than if they fought for it.
The same concept works in your life. Choose what you want and let God or the Universe (whatever that means to you) bring it to you. Let it orchestrate the events that will manifest the thing you desire. Give up needing to know how you will manifest anything. Knowing how can become a limitation. If you choose to manifest something but can’t consciously see a way to create it, you may give up. The conscious mind can’t see all of the possibilities. Surrender control and you free the universe to bring you whatever you want.
Tough to swallow? Then let me tell you a story...
When I was working on my book, The Seven Lost Secrets of Success, I was obsessed. I spent two years of my life on a mission to pay homage to Bruce Barton, a man who influenced our country but somehow fell through the cracks of history. One day I received a call from a medical Doctor in west Texas. He wanted to hire me to ghostwrite a book for him. While I was reluctant, going to see him felt like the right thing to do. I flew there, visited with him, negotiated a contract, and flew back to Houston with a large check in my hands, a nonrefundable retainer to hire me to write his book.
Weeks passed. Then months. During this time I spent most of my energy working on my Barton book. I rarely worked on the Doc’s book, and never heard from him. I finally decided I should fly up to see him, and that I should present some material to him. So I made a flight reservation and started writing his book. But an odd thing happened. Whenever I called the Doctor’s office, no one answered the phone. This went on for days. Then, a day before my flight was to leave, someone answered the phone. It was the Doc’s business manager.
“Bill, this is Joe Vitale,” I began.
“Hi Joe.” His voice seemed sheepish.
“What’s going on? No one has answered the phone there for days.”
“Well, there’s been a change in plans."
"What?”
Bill mumbled something. I asked him to repeat it. I
couldn’t believe what I heard. “The Doc’s in jail,” he said.
To say I was stunned would be to lie. I was shocked. Speechless.
“The Doc’s in jail!?!” I blurted. “Bill, what’s going on?”
“Well, the Doc violated his parole.” Again I was shocked.
“You mean he’s been in jail BEFORE?!”
“Well, the Doc sent a bomb to his ex-wife and he was caught and sent to prison,” Bill explained. “He was allowed to come out and be a Doctor again but he couldn’t play with guns or bombs anymore.”
“Don’t tell me,” I said.
“Yea, they found bombs in his desk.”
It took me a while to recover from this event. But I want you to notice the miracle here. When I signed a contract with the Doctor, I was given a large sum of money. Non-refundable money. Money that enabled me to work on my Barton book. And then, when the Doctor went to jail, I was free from his contract. I didn’t have to write his book at all.
Somehow God or the Universe (or whatever you want to call the invisible powers that be) set the stage for this grand event. Could I have orchestrated such an event? It’s highly unlikely. How would I have written the ad?
“Doctor wanted: Must be ex-con, want to write a book, and be ready to go back to jail in six months so I can keep his money.”
I don’t think so.
Again, when you know what you want and are clear, you will be drawn to the thing you want and events will pull it to you. Jonathan sees this happen all the time. When two Doctors in Seattle couldn’t agree on office space they needed, they went to Jonathan. After one session they were clear. Within twenty-four hours they found the space they needed, and signed a lease for it.
I saw the same thing happen when my wife and I wanted to buy a house. If you are trying to manifest something that involves another person, both of you have to be clear before you’ll manifest the event. I had worked on myself to buy the house I wanted. But things still weren’t working out. Finally my wife went to see Jonathan. She cleared up some old beliefs she had about self-worth and money. The very next day the real estate people called. Three days later we moved into the house. And this was after nearly twelve months of delays!
Would you like an example from the world of business? Dan Poynter is a dear friend and internationally recognized expert on self-publishing. He’s written several books, including the famous Self-Publishing Manual. Dan also conducts weekend seminars in his home on how to self-publish and market your own book. He’s been offering this seminar for over ten years, has helped hundreds of people, but has always struggled to get people to register for the event. One day Dan called me for my help.
“Joe, I want you to write a brochure for me that is so powerful that people sign up for my seminar without my having to do a thing.”
Notice what Dan was doing. He knew what he didn’t want (to pull teeth to get people to come to his seminar) and he knew what he did want (to have people call and register easily and effortlessly). From those two steps he was led to calling me. When I agreed to create a new brochure for Dan, what did he have to do?
Let go.
He had to let go. He had to trust that he hired the right guy and all would be well. While he didn’t know it, “letting go” is a key step in the manifestation process. He was intuitively following it.
I designed a flyer for Dan, he loved it, and he printed it. A few weeks later I called him and he said, “My seminar is already sold out.”
“It is?!” I yelled, delighted. But Dan stopped me in my tracks.
“But it isn’t due to your flyer,” he said. “It isn’t?”
“The seminar sold out two weeks ago and I only last week mailed out the new flyer. There had been a delay in the mailing.”
“Then what happened?” I asked. “Why did it sell out?” Dan didn’t know. But here’s my guess: As you know by now, the energy you give out brings the results you get. When Dan stated his new intention, and allowed me to create a new flyer for him, he was changing the inner signal he was sending it. Once you change the way you are inside, the outer world changes. Dan didn’t even have to mail his flyer out. People picked up on the signals in the air and responded.
Crazy? Maybe so. But as I’ve pointed out throughout this book, the energy you give out attracts and creates the results you get. Change your inner energy and you change your results.
(And for the record, I later saw Dan in Chicago, where he told me that due to my new brochure for him, his August seminar sold out in the previous JUNE.)
The following story reveals how my latest (and in many ways greatest) dream just came true. I am sharing it with you in the hope that it inspires you to go for your own dreams. It’s all about the power of setting an intention and then letting go of it...
If you’ve never seen the famous Nightingale-Conant giant catalog of audiotapes on business, motivation, self- help, relationships, health and spirituality, reach over to your phone right now and call 1-800-525-9000. Or visit their site at http://www.nightingale.com. Request the catalog. It’s free and well worth browsing.
I wanted to have a tapeset of my own in the Nightingale-Conant catalog for many years. I wanted it for the prestige, as well as for the profit. I wanted to be among their roster of greats: Tony Robbins, Tom Peters, Deepak Chopra, Bob Proctor, Joe Vitale, Brian Tracy, and Wayne Dyer.
But until Autumn, 1998, this desire had only been a dream. Despite the fact that I always sent Nightingale- Conant my new books as soon as they were published, I could never seem to ignite their interest in my work.
But I never gave up. I simply held onto the dream, trusted that something would give sooner or later, and kept doing my thing: Writing what I hoped were inspiring and informative books.
And then something amazing happened.
One day a man began sending me e-mail, asking numerous questions about marketing in general and P.T. Barnum in particular. He was a fan of Barnum’s and loved my book, There’s a Customer Born Every Minute. I answered all of his questions, glad to help.
Then one day I received a shock. The man sent me e- mail saying, “If you ever want your material considered by Nightingale-Conant, let me know. I’m their Marketing Project Manager.”
You can’t imagine my surprise. Or my delight.
I immediately Fed-Xed all of my books, my video, and my home study course (six audiotapes and a workbook) to my new friend at Nightingale-Conant. He didn’t like anything I sent. Instead, he LOVED everything I sent. And right then and there he began the long process of selling Nightingale-Conant on me.
After eleven months of calls, faxes, and many Fed-X’s, I am proud to announce that Nightingale-Conant is carrying their first product by me. It’s called “The Power of Outrageous Marketing.”
This amazing story illustrates many lessons:
...The power of a dream (I held my vision of what I wanted for years).
...The networking potential of the Internet (My Nightingale-Conant contact found me at my website).
...The miracle that comes from having someone who believes in you. (My contact believes in me to a staggering degree, and told me so over and over again for eleven months.)
...The true magic that occurs when you are in alignment with your life’s purpose and doing what makes your heart sing...
...And the power of letting go.
And I’m sure there are other lessons in this story, lessons that you see and I don’t. Again, I am sharing this with you in the hope that it sets your own heart on fire, awakens something in your soul, and urges you to go for--- and get---your own dreams.
And here’s something else to think about:
According to research done at Spindrift Foundation on the power of prayer, a “Thy will be done” prayer gets more than twice as many results as a specific “give me this” prayer. That’s why it’s so important to end your request for anything you want with the magic words, “This or something better.”
When I was writing my book on P.T. Barnum, I went to the famous showman’s grave in Bridgeport, Connecticut. I had a moving experience there, which I wrote about in my book. But what I want to share with you here is what I saw written on Barnum’s gravesite marker. To my surprise, carved in his simple concrete headstone were these magical words, words that Barnum relied on throughout his colorful life:
“Not my will but thine be done.”
Those magic words worked for Barnum, helping him to survive personal and professional disasters, and helping him become one of America’s first millionaires, and those words can work for you, too.
In other words, trust the universe.
You can ask for whatever you want to do, be, or have, but also be willing for the universe to give you something better. End all of your requests with the phrase, “This or something better” and you will be letting the universe know that “Thy will be done” is of highest importance.
Why is this so? Because the universe can see the big picture while your ego can’t.
Your job is to ask for what you want, and then to act on the inner nudges you get to do things, like make phone calls, write letters, visit a certain person, or whatever. Bob Proctor, in his wonderful book, You Were Born Rich, puts it this way:
“Learn to follow the quiet voice within that speaks in feelings rather than words; follow what you ‘hear’ inside, rather than what others may be telling you to do.”
The universe itself will act to move you to what you want, and move what you want to you. All you have to do is let go, while acting on your inner prompts. Let go of fear, doubt, worry, disappointment, and any other negative emotion that might make you feel low.
The famous poet and sage Rumi wrote something that may help you here:
“Some things that don’t happen keep disasters from happening.”
Think about it. What you’re being asked to do is trust. Trust that when something happens, it’s good; and trust that when something you want doesn’t happen, it’s good, too.
Here’s one final story on the subject of letting go...
I attended Bob Proctor’s three day course called The Science of Getting Rich in Denver during June of 1999. It was a mind-expanding experience. I urge you to take the course live if at all possible, or at least to invest in the home-study course. There are so many things you’ll get out of the material that where you are now will seem like poverty after you absorb the materials and become wealthy.
But one idea that I got from Bob’s course that I want to give you right now is this quote:
“Everything that happens in your life is moving you in the direction of your goals.”
Now think about this. That statement says that everything, without fail, without exception, is moving you toward your dreams.
So if something happens that you feel is bad, remember that it happened to move you forward. Your job is to find the positive in the negative, or at least to trust that there is a positive there, even if you can’t see it at the moment.
This might be tough to accept, at first. But the truth is, it is an enlightened way of living your life. I love the statement and thank Bob Proctor for saying it. What it tells me is that I have to let go and trust that life itself is taking me to the things I desire.
And as I let go, trust, and give thanks for my life, I feel different, I radiant a different vibration to the world, and better things and experiences come to me.
Again, the whole secret is in learning to simply let go.
“Everything that happens in your life is moving you in the direction of your goals.”
Bob Proctor