hopscotch on your sidewalk and use an old bobby pin for a marker, and, if you can walk, then all you need is to dress properly for the weather and walk.
If you watch television, do some twists and bends during the commercial breaks.
Every little bit helps. Tests have shown that 30 minutes per day of exercise is very beneficial, and more tests have proven that three, ten minute spurts of exercise are very close to the same benefit.
The object to any aerobic program is to get into “air.” Getting into air is simply walking long enough, or fast enough to get to the point where talking is a little harder to do. That’s in “air.” For a healthy person getting in air, could take 30
minutes of fast walking, for an unhealthy person, it could be a few minutes.
Keep it up.
Rejuvenate yourself. Get old tapes that you listened to when you were a teenager and start dancing. I expect to see some “Twist and Shout” and
“Do the Monster Mash.” All the way, to Lawrence Welk and a good old fashioned waltz. If you are too young to remember that stuff, then how about getting busy with “The Hustle.” If you are too young to remember that one, then you are on your own, as I have not kept up with what the really young dance to, but you get the idea. Put some music on and move that body.
Grab your partner and take a dance class. Take up karate. Start right now and do something to improve your health.
Don’t think you have time to add exercise to your life? I bet if you really wanted to improve your health badly enough, you will make time. Do something and start right now. Stretch!
WATER
FUELING UP ON WATER
It's our body's vital fuel, a health drink from nature. It's calorie-free, inexpensive and easily obtained. Yet few people follow the old fashioned advice to drink eight glasses of water a day. You also need an extra glass of water for every ten pounds you are overweight.
Copyright © 2003 Teresa King
Page 54 of 110
Y o u r A t t i t u d e - Y o u r S e l f - E s t e e m
Most people drink when they are thirsty, but the beverage of choice tends to be some other drink besides water. Americans drink two or three glasses of plain water a day, according to a U.S. Department of Agriculture survey conducted in the late 1970s. Based on an analysis of all fluid in take by adults, it is said to total about two quarts of water a day, and this includes water from foods and from other beverages. It's not usually necessary to actually swallow two quarts of plain water every day. However, people with special problems such as kidney conditions might be exceptions.
Americans drink eight gallons of bottled water a year, roughly two ounces or a quarter-cup a day, according to the International Bottled Water Association.
Californians drink three times the national average of bottled water, downing 24
gallons a year, or nearly a cup a day. Climate and seasons of the year play a role in one's thirst also, and just as we tend to perspire more in the summer months, we also tend to drink more water.
Boosting intake of plain water makes good sense, many experts concur, because water eases digestion and regulates body temperature. Water also bathes the cells and accounts for about 60 percent of body weight. And it can help us exercise longer and more efficiently. Drinking water can ward off constipation and maybe even crankiness. And since it's a natural appetite suppressant, water can help us lose weight and keep it off. It can help keep skin healthy, although it won't necessarily banish acne.
Who should drink water? We all should, but pregnant women, nursing mothers and athletes should be especially careful to drink a sufficient amount. When it is hot or humid, upping water intake is also wise. There are certain workers who seem to have a more difficult time developing the water-drinking habit. Among those who don't normally drink enough water are teachers, airline attendants and nurses.
Drinking fluids, particularly, water, during exercise reduces cardiovascular stress and improves performance. After a strenuous workout, you have to replace the fluids you have lost. Otherwise, you will suffer chronic dehydration. Drink water before, during and after exercising, and remember that water reduces body temperature thus making the whole exercise process safer.
Copyright © 2003 Teresa King
Page 55 of 110
Y o u r A t t i t u d e - Y o u r S e l f - E s t e e m
Water can be especially helpful for people with a history of kidney stones because it dissolves calcium in the urine, reducing the risk of stone formation.
Among physicians, urologists are probably most likely to extol the virtues of water. And it has been documented that drinking water mostly before 6 P.M. can reduce the likelihood of nocturnal bathroom visits.
It is interesting to note also that water helps prevent urinary tract infections, both for men and for women. Too busy to count how many glasses a day you drink?
There are other ways to calculate if your intake is sufficient. Dark-colored urine often suggests you aren't drinking enough water. Get into the habit by starting with a glass of water with every meal, then work in a cup between meals.
Copyright © 2003 Teresa King
Page 56 of 110
Y o u r A t t i t u d e - Y o u r S e l f - E s t e e m
Chapter 8 Learn how to Give and
Receive
“If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?” Stephen Levine
Accepting and Giving Compliments
Do you love compliments, or do you get uncomfortable when you get them? Do you immediately deny the compliment?
“Gee, that dress looks good on you.”
“Oh, this old rag.”
“I really like that poem your wrote.”
“ Really, do you think I should change any of it?”
When a person gives you a compliment. A simple thank you is in order.
“You look great in blue, it really brings out your eyes.”
“Thank you.”
“I love that dressing you put on the salad.”
“Thank you. My grandmother taught me how to make that.”
See, how truly easy that is. It’s simple.
Do you take time to give compliments?
Copyright © 2003 Teresa King
Page 57 of 110
Y o u r A t t i t u d e - Y o u r S e l f - E s t e e m
The next time you see something you like, don’t just think it. Say it!
Think about the people in your life that readily give compliments. Think about deep down how it makes you feel good (when you are not in denial toward the compliment). Think about how when someone notices and remarks on how well you are doing at your job, how well you did on a test, or how great you made a dinner.
Don’t withhold compliments. When you think them, tell the person.
If it is not normal for you to think good things about others do stop and look. Is there something that you can honestly say that is positive to another person? Say it. It doesn’t bite back. It might feel unnatural at first, but after a few trials, you will see that sparkle in someone’s eyes. You will see your friends, and your children strive to do better for you. All because of a simple few words that you took the time to say something complimentary.
How about giving and receiving? Is it hard for you to accept a gift?
Do you say, “Oh, you shouldn’t have?”
How about, “Thank you. This is perfect, how very thoughtful of you to think of me.”
Most people love to give. It makes them feel good to give. To chastise them for giving, even when you are doing it out of habit is like throwing cold water into someone’s face.
Be gracious, enjoy being cared about, and accept the gift. Life is good!
How about the “buts” in life? You did a good job, but……
Your hair looks nice, but…….
I like that color, but……
“Buts,” can make people cringe at what is coming next and totally wipe out the compliment that you just gave.
Copyright © 2003 Teresa King
Page 58 of 110
Y o u r A t t i t u d e - Y o u r S e l f - E s t e e m
You can use “but” when the criticism is constructive. How can you tell if your criticism is constructive or destructive? It’s easy. If you cannot help or are not willing to help with the solution, then it is not constructive criticism.
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.”
Copyright © 2003 Teresa King
Page 59 of 110
Y o u r A t t i t u d e - Y o u r S e l f - E s t e e m
Chapter 9 Work Shop
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
Finding what caused your negative Attitudes- Work Shop
Attitude: Manner, disposition, feeling, position toward a person or thing.
Ruin: the downfall, decay or destruction of something.
Negative attitudes can ruin you. It isn't enough to say, "think positive".
Sometimes one has to trace back to where it all started to go wrong.
The point where your attitude changed for the worse we will call a "ruin", because to some degree it was brought about by downfall, decay or destruction of yourself.
Let's assume that the natural healthy state of mind is positive, cheerful and effective. Many of us feel that way most of the time. Some don't. All of us have times when we feel less than up to par.
So let us think of "ruin" as an inability, rather than something that was done to you. We don't have to buy into the victim mentality that is so often foisted upon us. Let us look at this from an attitude of taking charge of yourself; that is, taking charge of your own life. It isn't, "I'm the way I am because my father and mother both died when I was young.”
It is more that when you found that both father and mother were gone, you felt inadequate in some way. Maybe you felt helpless, or lost. Or maybe you were Copyright © 2003 Teresa King
Page 60 of 110
Y o u r A t t i t u d e - Y o u r S e l f - E s t e e m
inconsolable.
You were unable to do anything about it. So when you look at that moment in time you are looking for two things, the inability you felt you had at that time, and an attitude you developed to compensate for it.
Not everyone has such a disastrous beginning in life, but most of us have had upsets here and there. Picking up the last time you were badly upset can be painful to remember, but if instead of feeling victimized, you look for an inability, an inadequacy that you had at the time, and put that into words it can be a good place to start. There are probably far more ruins, or inabilities, than there are people.
So you find that last upset and look for what inability of yours was present then. Put it into words. If it is your "ruin" you will find it present in similar situations throughout your life. You will find that you feel the effect of this. You may even realize that if you don't do something about it that you may get worse. You may feel a need to change this condition.
At that moment of ruin, you still wanted to survive. There was something that you did to compensate for your inability, perhaps to cover up the fact of that weakness, or to deny it.
You came up with an Attitude. Attitude now with a capital "A" to distinguish it from the many different attitudes you have about different things on a daily basis.
The inability you had then is the key to viewing the Attitude, because you may not even know you have an Attitude that is affecting your self-esteem or relationships badly. You do know it because other people keep pointing out that you are "so sad" "so angry" or "so reserved, “ but you have no idea how it came about or how to change it. It becomes the "it's just the way I am" attitude about Attitude." No matter what inability you had then, (and perhaps still have now) it is the defense mechanism you created afterwards that everyone else reads as "Attitude" that is ruining you now.
By the way, Attitude with a capital "A" is always negative in this workshop.
Here is an example. Little Johnny goes to school every day and has to pass Copyright © 2003 Teresa King
Page 61 of 110
Y o u r A t t i t u d e - Y o u r S e l f - E s t e e m
the house of Brutus, who is a bully. Johnny gets pushed around frequently, not really physically hurt, but generally mistreated and downgraded. "You stupid little runt, you couldn't hold your own with a girl."
Johnny feels the effect of all of this, and he also feels that he is unable in some way to cope in this situation. Perhaps he feels an inability to stand up for himself. It is hard enough facing the bully, but to have to face himself and his inability to stand up for himself really begins to ruin him.
He goes home and complains to Dad, who tells him to fight it out next time the bully comes by.
Well, Johnny knows he can't do that so he develops an Attitude. He solves this problem by walking three extra blocks to school to avoid the bully. He develops an Attitude of avoidance.
You see Johnny years later. He has a little trouble looking you in the eye.
If you try to give him a job to do that you know he isn't going to enjoy, somehow it gets set aside until last, or, he passes it on to another to do.
You use your own words to describe Johnny to your friends. "He has a sort of creepy attitude" you say, "not really someone to help you out in a pinch." You instinctively distrust him.
Johnny's boss comes around and points out that he is being slack in getting his work done. Does Johnny straighten up and fly right? No, not if he has a core "Attitude". He may do the work sooner or later, but mostly later because he is trying to avoid it. Consciously Johnny may say to himself, "I better get my act together and get this work done", but he will start it, and then start to avoid it. The Attitude has become ingrained. That is why I spell it with a capital "A".
The Attitude tends to stick to one. A person wears it on his shirt sleeve, so to speak, like a man in love. You see Attitude in the way people walk, and talk, look at you, or move their hands. It isn't hard to see the other guy's Attitude. What is hard is to spot your own.
You say, "Someone says something to me, and I'm always on the defensive. I know it is a bad attitude, but I just keep on doing it." The Attitude can't release until one has at least spotted what was going on in life before the Copyright © 2003 Teresa King
Page 62 of 110
Y o u r A t t i t u d e - Y o u r S e l f - E s t e e m
Attitude started. That is why you look for the ruin. The ruin was the inability one felt one had during a time of upset or loss. The Attitude was how he resolved the problem.
"Get over it" may be good advice, but it is also an attitude. It just barely makes the grade of a positive attitude. It is the pushy sort of attitude one does to ward off the whining and complaining of others.
An attitude is always an attempt to survive. Problem is, Attitude with a capital A is always a wrong answer, a bad habit pattern.
Okay, so this is a self-help book, so you need to look, if you can, at your own "ruin." Find a recent upset. Find out what inability you had, then put it into your own words. Look back across your life at similar type of upsets, and find out if that same inability was present in all the situations. If not, look for another upset and find an inability you had at that time, put it into words and see if that inability traces back to earlier incidents in your lifetime.
Finding the inability that is "ruining" you, putting it into words so you can clearly define it, can help put you back in control. This same type of situation is probably still affecting you. It becomes a downward spiral and it will get worse unless you take steps to change it.
Finding your "ruin", that is, the inability you have/had rather than blaming others is a first step in recovery. The next step is to spot the Attitude you developed to compensate for that inability.
People do overcome these inabilities. Sometimes they just grow out of them.
There was this lady who told me about a reunion years after she graduated High School. This one male classmate came forward, shook her hand and was genuinely glad to see her. "Things have sure changed," she mentioned.
"When you were in school I thought you didn't like me. You always seemed to have a chip on your shoulder." The classmate moved closer to her, partly covered his mouth with his hand and said quietly, "I was shy."
Maybe if it had been put in terms of an inability he might have said, "I had an inability to talk to girls" or some such thing. The Attitude used to handle that inability, a chip on the shoulder, a macho man. Not him at all. At least not the man he grew to be, a positive, effective man who could Copyright © 2003 Teresa King
Page 63 of 110
Y o u r A t t i t u d e - Y o u r S e l f - E s t e e m
admit his weaknesses and get on with life.
Not everyone is so lucky to outgrow his Attitudes. Some people spend years trying to whittle away at them. Spotting the ruin that preceded the Attitude may not be the entire solution, but it is a step in the right direction. It always helps to know "why the Attitude". Just remember to look at it from the view of inability, rather than blaming the other person.
That alone is progress.
Once you recognize a pattern, and you will, your cognition will have no boundaries once you recognize and realize that all you need to do is turn that negative inability into a positive ability. You can turn around what has been going wrong. You can find that pattern and change it!
Copyright © 2003 Teresa King
Page 64 of 110
Y o u r A t t i t u d e - Y o u r S e l f - E s t e e m
Chapter 10 The Stairs to Recovery
Did you know that changing your thinking and believing that you will be successful is the root of all successful change?
“As long as you’re going to be thinking anyway, THINK BIG.”
Donald Trump
Get a Support System
There are a lot of online support groups for recovering from a problem. The first thing that you need to realize, no matter how strong you think you are, if you have a severe problem, you need to allow others to help you.
Yes, you may have been hurt. Yes, your experiences may cause you to distrust.
However, whatever problem you have, the chances are you were feeling helpless or alone in the first place. Now, you don’t have to be alone, and you can learn and grow so much with a support group.
“Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.” Emily Kimbrough
If a support group does not fit in with what you feel you need, then consider choosing one person that you do know and trust.
Make a list of all the people you know. People you work with, family, friends, teachers, an online friend. Now, cross out the people who will not be helpful.
These would be people who are not too concerned with the problems you face.
Next cross out those you know you can’t trust.
Now, start putting check marks on your list of those you trust.
Copyright © 2003 Teresa King
Page 65 of 110
Y o u r A t t i t u d e - Y o u r S e l f - E s t e e m
If you don’t trust anyone, then put a check mark next to people you think you might be able to trust.
Build your own support group, even if you have to do it one person at a time, until you have what you need. You don’t have to be alone. You don’t have to be brave, tough and super strong. There is no shame in asking for help. People love to help; give them a chance to help you.
Copyright © 2003 Teresa King
Page 66 of 110
Y o u r A t t i t u d e - Y o u r S e l f - E s t e e m
Chapter 11 Against the Odds - Harness
Those Darn Urges
When you are trying to improve
yourself, and you make up your
mind