Chapter 4
TECHNOLOGY:
The new etiquette
In spite of what you might think, technology is not an etiquette-free zone. In general, all of the normal rules of etiquette apply. For example, if you would not normally say something to someone over the telephone, you certainly should not say it via email where it will be stored for eternity for the entire world to read at will. Three key things to think about when using the Internet: confidentiality, familiarity and reasonability. An easy rule of thumb is-would I tell this joke, pass on this note, write this card spend this time or approach this person in person? If not, chances are it’s better left undone on the Internet, email, fax or voicemail as well.
In Book Two of the In Good Company series P’s and Q’s for Profit, we cover office communications and technology in depth, but the following is a quick overview of the basics.
Cell phones and pagers typically come with users’ manuals but they rarely include etiquette guidelines. How much do you know about etiquette and technology?
Self-assessment
1. If someone emails you asking you not to send them any more unsolicited “span,” they are referring to:
a) Junk mail in the form of email advertising or chain letters etc.
b) An email which was accidentally sent to the wrong address
c) Copies of email which was previously sent
2. A co-worker has had a death in the family. You want to send condolences. What would you do?
a) Send an email
b) Mail a handwritten note
c) Pass a card around the office and leave it on his/her desk
3. You’re waiting for a client to close on a big deal. He/she said they’d call by 4:00 and it’s ten after five. You should:
a) Call immediately and find out what’s going on
b) Give him/her the benefit of the doubt and wait until he/she calls
c) Email him/her and leave your home number
4. You don’t have an email at home so your friends often email personal messages at work.
Sometimes the messages are really personal. How would you handle this?
a) Email back, it’s your private email and it’s no one’s business
b) Quickly put a stop to all personal emails sent to work. Telephone friends and family from the privacy of your own home
c) Just don’t return the email
5. Your cell phone rings in the middle of an important staff meeting. What should you do?
a) Answer it, it’s a business call
b) Say excuse me and quietly leave the room to take the call
c) Immediately shut the phone off and apologize to the group
6. You’re fed up with the behavior and attitude of a co-worker. You correspond regularly by email and you want to say your piece so…
a) Email your comments to the co-worker and cc your boss
b) Call the co-worker on the phone and ask to meet in person to discuss the issues
c) Write your feelings down and say nothing. Come back to the issue when you’re calm
7. You’re sitting in a restaurant and you cannot help over hearing a cell phone conversation a competitor is having in the booth next to you. Good manners dictate that you…
a) Listen, he/she is a fool with bad manners
b) Ignore him/her and try not to listen
c) Interrupt him/her and let them know you are present and can overhear the conversation
8. You collected a handful of business cards at a business cocktail party and want to contact one of the people you met and spoke to briefly. It is appropriate to:
a) Email him/her and strike up a conversation
b) Telephone the person and refresh your acquaintance
c) Drop by his/her office and hope he/she can see you
9. You have a really tight deadline and there is some very important information you need to get to the parties involved. What should you do?
a) Telephone them immediately and leave a voicemail
b) Send a detailed email promptly
c) Fax a copy of the pertinent information to their general office
10. An email message should be answered…
a) Within one hour b) Within one day
c) Within twenty-four hours
(See answers at the end of this chapter.)
A. Email etiquette
Despite the sometimes intimidating technological air, email is just another way of communicating quickly and efficiently. It’s not novel writing, on the one hand, but it’s not a telephone or in-person discussion either, where communication is based
on tone of voice and facial expression as much as it is on content. Here are some quick and easy tips for dealing with email etiquette.
• Don’t be a novelist. Keep messages concise and to the point.
• Don’t get caught up in grammar and punctuation and don’t correct someone else’s email punctuation either.
• Keep the format and punch card length simple. Not everyone with access to email and the Internet has top of the line equipment and your message is lost if no one can’t read it.
• Be careful with abbreviates. Some users have traded clarity for confusion by using this short from language. Here are some examples:
• When necessary, use email “smiles.” This will help alleviate misunderstandings and help convey the writer’s emotions. Be careful though, these are NOT universal and could lead to a flam. Here are some examples:
• Use appropriate salutations. For business use Mr., Ms., etc. for personal Dear is fine.
• Always make sure your letter is signed. You can create a signature in your email program that will automatically place your name, company, address, phone and email information at the bottom of every email.
Always check to see it’s there as it might not pop up when you’re sending a reply. If it’s not there, just use the “add signature” command from your toolbar menu.
• Do send a reply to maintain the “thread” or link between messages rather than start a new email message to respond. This keeps all parties abreast of the state of the conversation as well. Be careful, however, to check whom the reply is going to. It’s easy, just double click on the name in the “to” box and a screen will pop up showing you the address where the message is going. This is extremely important because often forwarded messages will bounce back to the original sender and not necessarily to the person who forwarded you the message.
• Attach a file the sender can open. The other person may not have compatible software. An easy tip to remember is to save any word processing document in “rich text format” (just click “save as” and use the little menu at the bottom of the screen to select “rtf” instead of “Word” or “WordPerfect”). An rtf file can be opened by any word processing software program and it leaves the formatting intact. Make sure you let the receiver know this as well in the body of your email.
• Do not send large attachments. If it’s bigger than a short word processing document, contact the receiver to find out if they want it, how big a file their system can handle, what kind of compression software they have, etc. If you are not familiar with these terms, get someone who knows computers to handle this for you. It’s cute to send birthday cards, but not fun for the receiver when they crash his email program.
• Never send a resume as an attachment unless you’ve been requested to do so. Crashing a prospective employer’s email system or sending a file he or she may think contains a virus is the number one way to ensure they never contact you!
B. Telephone etiquette
Communication tips and techniques to help you succeed in today’s work place.
The best etiquette advice of all regarding the telephone is-ANSWER IT. Stop for a minute and think about how much of your company’s revenue is initially generated through the telephone. Sometimes it would make sense to have the telephone ring make the sound of a cash register to remind people in business just how important
it is to actually answer the phone, and to do it happily, with the intention of selling themselves or something every time they pick it up. There are several very annoying habits that we all recognize and hopefully will learn to avoid in our workplaces.
THE TALKAHOLIC: This violation is the worst. The talkaholic takes telephone calls while talking or meeting with you.
He or she answers the phone and proceeds to have a lengthy conversation as if you weren’t there! If you absolutely must take a call while you have a guest, tell the caller you have a guest and make the call as short as possible.
TALKUS INTERRUPTUS: This person barges into your office while you are on the phone and just starts talking to you! He ignores the fact that you are on the telephone. Oh, it’s not an emergency, either! It’s just as rude to stand there not talking and listen to a conversation which you are not involved in as it is to interrupt. Hint; keep your door closed while on important calls.
THE STALKER: This person paces back and forth like a starved wild animal while you’re on the phone. The wild one wants to talk to you, so he/she hovers over you, shadows the door and makes you feel uncomfortable. Another type of stalker may leave you many, many messages and is unwilling to wait for a return call.
Keep in mind the following pointers for easier telephone relationships.
• The phone is not an interruption. Smile and pretend you have someone sitting across from you as you speak.
• Return calls. Phone calls should be returned the same business day if possible.
• When leaving a message try to keep it simple. Your name, company, time of call and brief reason for the call is sufficient. Leave the phone number at the beginning and the end of message so the person listening does not have to hear the whole message again.
• Avoid phone tag. To avoid phone tag leave a time for the person you are trying to reach so they will know the best time to reach you. You may also want the person to just leave you a message or email you with an answer so the process of phone tag can be terminated.
• Do not call an employee at home unless it is an emergency. Home is the place people go to get away from work. Remember, personal and business lives need to be separated for that balance to take place.
• Wait by the phone. When others do not return your calls, give them the benefit of the doubt and ask in your voicemail if they can leave you a better time to call or maybe someone else in their company who may be
more appropriate to speak to. Change the message on your own system to
let others know when you will be away and when you will be returning calls. This gives people an opportunity to call again or leave a message later in the week.
• Limit your calls. Do not call someone twice in one day unless on the message in the morning you indicated that you will reach them later in the day as you will be away from your desk. If someone doesn’t call you back, chances are they are busy and will call when they can.
C. Cell phone and pager etiquette
Any gadget that saves time and keeps you in the informational loop must be great, right? Cell phones and pagers certainly do have their advantages. But there are also disadvantages. In many instances, the convenience of technological interaction has overshadowed courtesy in modern communications. Here are some reasons these devices can be construed as rude and some guidelines for correct cell phone behavior.
• Interruptions are rude. A cell phone or pager ringing while you are engaged in a conversation with someone is bad form. Either let the person you are speaking to know you are expecting a call and excuse yourself when it comes or shut the pager/phone off.
• They’re listening. Many people don’t realize how distracting it is to others when they cannot help but hear your conversation. Talking on your cell phone while in line at the grocery or in the lobby of the doctor’s office draws unnecessary attention and encroaches on the space and privacy of others. If you must make or take calls, do so in private. Among other places, cell phones do not belong in movie theaters, classrooms, special ceremonies, interviews or funerals.
• Concentrate on the one you’re with. When you are engaged in face-to-face communication with someone, that person should have your undivided attention. If you are waiting for a call, you will not be focused on the person you are with. Similarly, if you have just completed a call, your attention will likely be on the communication which just transpired and again, not give your full attention to the person you are with.
Below are some common myths about the ever-popular pager.
• It won’t be distracting if it’s just a little beep or buzz. The effect that a little beep has on one’s concentration can ruin what was once a pleasant business luncheon. If you look down at the message and wonder what your president or client wants, are you going to ponder this throughout the meeting? Turn your pager off and concentrate on what’s going on at the moment. Remember no one is more important than the person in front of you.
• Only those messages of vital importance will interrupt the flow of a meeting. You may think your family’s request for a loaf of bread to be picked up on your way home is important…guess again. The interruption has just ruined the flow to the conversation and if you were about to hear the answer you’ve been waiting for it just might not happen now.
• Pagers (and/or PDAs) are acceptable at any occasion or event. Under no circumstances should a pager be turned on at a seminar, meeting, funeral, any place of worship or at someone’s home. Believe it or not…we are not that important. Ask a co- worker to take messages for you, let people know ahead of time when and why your pager will be turned off and certainly return saved pager messages as soon as possible.
D. Chapter summary
Technology has advanced quickly in today’ ever-changing business world. Etiquette is still about respect for others: that will never change. Do not let the conveniences of modern gadgets displace courtesy and respect in daily communications.
Answers to self-assessment
1. a) It is not good manners to send via email, advertising, sale notices, chain letters or any other information that a person did not request be sent to him/her. It is particularly rude when this type of mail is sent at random by strangers with no return mail access.
2. b) Definitely send a handwritten note to their home address. Do not include a business card and do not discuss the particulars of the situation with co-workers. Keep this type of personal tragedy as personal as possible.
3. b) Give the client the benefit of the doubt. If you expressed yourself clearly, he/she would have understood the urgency of the situation. If he/she has not called, he/she probably does not have an answer. You should always tell a client in this situation that if you do not hear from him/her by a specific time, you will proceed accordingly. Chasing clients gives the impression of desperation or of aggression. Don’t do it!
4. b) If at all possible, do not receive personal mail on your work computer. Ask your friends to telephone you, write or email you at home.
5. c) Shut the phone off and apologize. Your superiors and co-workers deserve your full attention in this situation. Unless your company policy is otherwise. Your phone is off during meetings.
6. c) It is always a good idea to let your feelings out but you’re better off expressing them privately first. Often telephone conversations, emails and even personal conversations take a negative tone when they occur under duress. When you are calm, you can present your case in a controlled, professional manner and still maintain your self-respect.
7. c) Although interrupting is typically rude behavior, it is the lesser of two evils in this situation. Give people an opportunity to recognize their lack of judgment and to extend repair behaviour when possible. Your integrity suffers if you do nothing and eavesdrop.
8. b) Telephone them first. This is more personal and people may remember you by your voice. Email messages mean nothing if he receiver does not recognize the sender.
9. a) and b) If the information is very important, leave a message in more than one place just in case the person is not near the telephone or does not have access to his/her email.
10. b) Etiquette dictates that email messages should be responded to within one day of receipt. If you will be out of town or unable to return messages, you should relay this message to important associates and clients prior to your departure.