11. You don’t Know me
“The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.” – Dave Barry
Less than four months after I retired from the computer business at the end of 2001, I moved on to become published. Having submitted six manuscripts to my agent, nothing was happening so I journeyed to Valley Forge, Pennsylvania, for a writers’ conference. In three days, I learned a great deal, heard a few exaggerations of the truth and found a publisher. In November 2002, my cookbook was published. That day was a special one for me and I was on my way with a new career.
My books are in print – for now, more than half – thanks to technology and my quest to learn about the publishing business. Calling it a dirty business may be too kind and perhaps those two words are a pleonasm in the majority of cases. No one said education was always going to be to students’ liking. It’s been over a decade of continuing growth in what I could do as a writer. I began with two publishers and then utilized two companies that printed my books. With the passage of time, I had more work and had to keep up with publishing technology, which I somehow managed. I was a teacher but have continued to do that as well as learning. My grasp of technology combined with my analysis in the rat race has enabled me to figure out some of the mysteries of technology, but not many.
On Tuesday, January 20, 2015, my friend Lou and I were trying to set up an investment account at FBN Investors. I hope that doesn’t stand for Fly By Night since I hate red-eye trips. Maybe that wasn’t the name of the firm, but that’s not important. This happens too many times no matter what account it is. His web site dealings are only with friendly ones – I don’t blame him one bit. The problem had to do with unfriendly sites and other flawed design ideas, still with us today and unavoidable. I have some computer experience, but had I been asked to get through this same fiasco a few years ago, it would have taken me longer than this recent episode of frustration.
One serious issue encountered is the use of multiple screens to obtain information. They can easily be combined without any effect on security. After all, if you filled out a paper application, it would have been two or three pages. The second issue that has to be solved is the entry of passwords. I doubt that anyone is happy with entering any passwords, let alone seven – the number that this site required – but it’s necessary. You can find much more about those wretched progress stoppers in chapter 23.
Getting back to this application for the account, in one of the earlier screens, a required field required checking either a symbol for Certify or another for Do not certify. If you select the latter option, the account request will be cancelled. Moving on, when the data was all filled out on the screen, Lou pressed the choice to finish, probably continue or Proceed to Next Step. The result was a message about an internal problem. Going back and trying again, doing so resulted in a frozen screen – I know it’s cold in Buffalo, but we were inside. A good thing that happened when contacting the help desk brought a call back within minutes. Ernest, the tech guy refused my idea of printing out the filled-in online application – which I did anyway. He said the entire process could be done via the post office with an application. An option to start over was also offered by the representative, which is what we chose.
A week later the entire process was begun again, with Ernest on the phone. Progress was about the same but on a parallel screen in front of him was a continue option, which Lou didn’t have. Ernest emailed the application and I printed it out, meaning all the fields had to be filled out again and the application mailed, which Lou might do. It’s probably better to find another account to invest in.
Web sites have a great deal of repetition, and this happens on many sites. If I go to a home page and see the opportunity to press home, nothing happens. That would enable me to wind up at the home page, but that’s where I am, so home is unnecessary. If you’re directed to a sub page and from there want to go back, then the home button would be fine. Of course, the left arrow button would do the same thing but may take a few steps to return. At times I have used the go back arrow but the result is staying on the same page. The left arrow doesn’t always work the way it should. When you sign in to some banking sites, you may see the opportunity to press online banking. Why? You’re obviously online and about to do some banking, so I see no need for the online banking option. If you look at my web site, you won’t find a home button anywhere. I think the left arrow works fine.
I’ve received great praise for my web site, but nevertheless there are problems at times, but I hope not as many as the others. Using WebLog Export Lite, the site accounting software that I mentioned earlier, I see the error message, 404 Not Found at times, but I checked and all the links seem to be on the site in the Internet. This message shouldn’t come up. However, I’ve noticed that certain pages or files of mine that were on the Internet have vanished. That one I can’t explain. Those last three words are the title of a 1964 song by The Who.
Contacting a business to find an email address, phone number or mailing address might be as difficult as singing and playing the harmonica at the same time. I ran into the email search numerous times. Finding the word, contact may take you a bit of a time since it could be at the top of the screen or bottom, or nowhere at all. There are few standards on web design. I speed up the process by searching for that word, which usually works and saves time. Of course, you may have to move to another page to find it.
When I go to another favorite site of mine, it doesn’t even require me to sign on since it knows who I am. That is one smart site, except I see a greeting saying, Hi, Joe. My first, middle and confirmation names begin with R, S and M respectively so maybe that site isn’t that intelligent.
I won’t reveal the name of another web site, but there I saw that I could sign on anonymously. I have a better idea: don’t request a log on. Anyway, I tried the anonymous approach, but that didn’t work. It showed this message: Your IP address (xx-xxx-xxx-xxx) does not have permission for anonymous login. Obviously the web master isn’t aware of what anonymous means.
Like the FBN fiasco, Lou and I had an adventure setting up an account with another web site. Maybe I should pick better ones. He did the application online, but I noticed that there wasn’t a chance to set up an ID and password for him. I figured I could call and ask for them, but that indicated a design problem. Eventually, he was sent an email indicating that he needed to finish the application. The account was set up, but not without a great deal of effort. These online applications involve too many problems. How about a phone call or something more progressive like using the United States mail?
As the middle of April approaches each year, we need to file our tax returns, that is, except the corporations who don’t pay any or very little. I filed my federal return in March 2015 and had plans to do the same with my New York state return. While visiting their web site, I saw a blurb about filing online. I went through the conditions and realized that I could use the method, saving some paper in the process. This could also involve less time. I didn’t do it that day, but tried about a week later. If you live in the Empire state, I don’t recommend doing it through the site unless you don’t mind paying more in tax than you should. I used the method and wound up with two different income taxes, varying by a grand. The paper method results in six pages or three sheets of paper, but two pages aren’t necessary to complete. Online there are over a hundred web pages. Actually, it isn’t that many; it only seems that way. If you try to go back to the previous page, you end up at the beginning. The good news is that you need not input what you already entered. The process is really long and doing the non-tech version saved time. My tax was lower too. Maybe the flaws will be removed by 2016.
At times, when I use my browser I see on my screen the words, Well, this is embarrassing. Instead of passing this on to me, why can’t the site clean up its act and make sure that I don’t have to see those words again, or if so, move the message to someone else’s desktop. There’s too much inconsistency and too much redundancy with computers as I’ve pointed out before. It seems that when God was handing out brains, the web master heard grains and refused the gift after having heard about the book, Wheat Belly. This guy wanted no part of wheat or rye.
“You don’t know me” has been performed by a host of artists. I’m familiar with two of those songs. Composer, singer and musician, known as The Genius, Ray Charles released it on his 1962 studio album, Modern Sounds in Country and Western Music. The album covers folk, Western music, soul, pop, jazz and R & B. Born on the same day in September in a different year as me, what’s like to like about him? You can also find the song on the collaboration of Bob James and David Sanborn on the 1986 release, Double Vision. That album was on the Billboard charts for 63 weeks. On the album, Al Jarreau sang the song, “Since I Fell for You” and won a Grammy nomination for Best Rhythm and Blues Male Vocal performance. I have the CD.