12.The Letter
“Despite our ever-connective technology, neither Skype nor Facebook – not even a telephone call – can come close to the joy of being with loved ones in person.” – Marlo Thomas
Over time there’ve been numerous ways of contacting others. We’re fortunate to communicate via telegrams, letters, packages and something call snail mail, but I’m repeating myself. I’ll get back to the snail deliveries shortly. We have Alex Bell to thank for the telephone. This has really evolved into so many great ways of reaching others. I’ve talked about many related advances and should mention social web sites, text and instant messaging. Where we would we be without the Pony Express, United Parcel Service, post offices, Federal Express and other technologies?
We communicate with our mouths as well as by what we transmit to others, such as writing, sending packages, greeting cards or messages of some sort. What we say to our friends via the phone may get lost, even using annoying speakerphones. Phone messages can also be lost and the same goes for all the rest. Delivery services are more reliable, but you may have to pay more. All these possibilities of not reaching their recipients apply to a USPS delivery garnished with delivery confirmation, insurance and certification. You might be compensated but that’s little consolation if you sent a family treasure that got lost. What was sent may arrive a day late, unlike what was guaranteed.
People use the term snail mail for stuff delivered by the post office. Those two words should be banished from Wikipedia. I hope the combination is not in the dictionary. I’ve sent books across the country that arrived at their destination in a day or two. On the other hand, I sent books to a gentleman only fifteen miles from me via the post office, taking a week. I’m sure you’ve heard of letters that were sent during the Second World War which were received decades later – better late than never except the recipient may have died. As far as email is concerned, what would you call that type of communication that still hasn’t been received: mail transported by a deceased snail or turtle? Numerous times, I’ve corresponded with emails, but they never got to their destinations.
A large, confusing challenge is defining spam. One man’s spam is another individual’s email, which he opens and appreciates. What do you call emails you receive with an sender of do not reply or canned responses saying your email has been received? I’d say a big waste of time. The same goes for a thank you and vacation responses. If you’re on vacation, turn off all the technology related to computers. Then there’s the case of someone communicating with another person by sending one email after another without giving the recipient a chance to respond. The sender probably acts that same way in company. Because of the loss of democracy in the U. S. congress, which has been comatose for some time, I sign numerous controversial petitions, such as labeling GMO products and raising the minimum wage. This helps fill up my mailbox, demanding more time maintaining it. At times when I sign a petition, I see a new screen with the words, internal error, or I get stuck with no way to actually send a reply. This is another web site concern that I mentioned in chapter 11.
Different email providers have various ways of doing things. A few barely work; others are close; they all have some problems; the remainder needs the blowtorch approach. I’ve used quite a few providers and can’t tell you which is best because of so many constant changes in email checking. What we should do is replace illegal torture methods with something to do with emails.
In February 2015, I was creating an email when I saw a message indicating that a draft autosave failed at 11:41 am. This was done by the system, although I can save a draft when I want. Most of the time, it works, but if not, I have to be careful so I don’t lose what I’ve written so far. One day I saw the message, draft saved. I was composing a message but went to look at an email I had sent the day before, but couldn’t find it. I wanted to return to the email just saved as a draft, but I couldn’t find it. Sometimes you wind up in that creek. Another time while composing an email, I saw the message: Your attachment has expired. It appears a wake is on the horizon.
The email I had but no longer use it was downright baffling. My brother Ken emailed me a link to YouTube, which I’ll have more to say about in the next chapter. I didn’t delete it, saving it in another folder, but somehow it wound up in my delete folder. Fortunately I found it there. The bad news was I didn’t clear out this folder all week so there were hundreds to search through. It didn’t reach a thousand, but it was close. I had to go though more than I wanted but found Ken’s correspondence toward the end of my search. I saved it in another folder. At that time, sixty-nine emails were left to dispose of from the delete folder. That doesn’t sound right or logical. I was checking and deleting fifty at a time and was down to less than a hundred. I clicked on the delete folder and saw nineteen candidates but the bottom of the screen read, fifty-one out of sixty-nine messages displayed. It wasn’t the first time this email software needed a brake job. Having majored in math, I did a calculation and realized the process worked backward, displaying the bottom nineteen first with that erroneous message. I can only guess that when I had Ken’s email open, I pressed a hot spot. In reference to the mess that society has turned into, Al Pacino played the role of Colonel Frank Slade in the 1992 flick, Scent of a Women. He said, If I were the man I was five years ago, I’d take a xxxxxxx flamethrower to this place! This quote could easily refer to technology. Blowtorches aren’t quite as effective as flamethrowers.
A few pieces of software work together for the email I banished in early 2015. The following should tell you why. I tried signing on by entering my password first and then the ID. That didn’t work. If I try it tomorrow or the next day, it still won’t. I have a workaround to solve the issue: I’ll enter the password second. On occasion, even doing that resulted having to try again, despite both my password and ID being entered correctly. This problem may have resulted by entering a wrong character in the password, backspacing and then entering the rest of the characters correctly, another programming bug.
A few times I received emails with attachments that are bewildering. One attachment had a size of 5 KB, but when I tried to download it, it had a blank image. Another time, the size was zero. Where did it go? In early 2015, I emailed my attorney and his assistant sent me an email with these words, I am out of the office and will return on Monday, August 11th. If you need to reach someone please call xxxxxxxx for further assistance. Maybe that was last year and I forgot to call. She just forgot to change her call-in-sick message. I better contact her. On April 6, 2015, I received an email from a spice company that supposedly was sent on August 11 of the year before. That’s an auspicious date.
Not long ago Yahoo email was responsible for correspondences sent to relatives and friends by someone known to them, call him John. This was a fraud since he didn’t send it. This is worst than spam. I warned others to use another provider and changed mine too. A few listened while others didn’t get my email or ignored it. Many emails transmitted won’t be sent, even though they appear to have been; may not be received; take a few days to get there; may be deleted for various reasons; not answered; just simply forgotten. There are people who check their email every six months or so. That may seem like an exaggeration, but an individual who doesn’t check his email frequently is even worse that one who looks at it once a year. He shouldn’t have an email address.
Besides scams by phone, emails can offer them. If you receive an email and it’s asking for money so they can send you a $30,000 settlement, go plant a garden rather than replying. If Nigeria is mentioned somewhere in the email, or if your brother or friend has been mugged in Paris, asking for cash, or if you see news of winning the sweepstakes, don’t get out your checkbook.
This doesn’t involve a scam but the logon procedure is noteworthy. Many companies have similar difficulties. There could be someone to blame and it’d be no one’s fault, but there was a screw-up. On Wednesday, February 11, 2015, I entered my ID for a site, which filled in the password. I clicked enter and the combination was rejected with the message, The username and password do not match our records. Try again. I soon found myself with another screen and upon entering ID and password in that order – probably twice – I got to my email.
A few months ago, I made a huge mistake by creating the address, b0b@roadrunner.com. The second character is a zero, not the letter o. This was done because the address that began with those three letters wasn’t available. This choice wasn’t very smart. If people did a reply to my email, I usually received it. I didn’t get the email using the address starting with my name, bob – all letters – someone else did. I hope he or she wasn’t spammed.
Email has gotten way out of hand. All you have to do is obtain one. Need I say more, but if you’re bombarded with that crap, you may be able to block it once you open it. If that’s the case, and even if you don’t have to open it, the very act of the block itself means you have to spend time that you could use on some other task. Some email providers have ways of blocking unwanted email – it seems like that’s most of them. Some of them work, but not all. My former email provider allowed you to set an option so spam was removed before you saw it. I didn’t choose that way because there may have been a correspondence I should have read. Spam is a huge, annoying pain in the body part we sit on.
The email I used allows you, without opening it, to move a few lines above and press, block. You’re not quite done, but when I complete the process, I still receive emails from the entity that is supposedly blocked. When I repeat the blocking process as before, the message sent me is this address is already blocked. There’s another way that doesn’t work either. After selecting the email, press report spam and then click OK. Obviously it isn’t. One way that solves the problem is to use a different email service. But that’s more work. Mama said there’d be days like this. Because of my hippity hop screen, I have a new email address. I’ve notified friends, utilities and family, but not the spam dispensers.
Years ago, people mailed each other using the post office. If one party responded while the other was doing the same, matters were messed up – referred to as a crossing of communication. The same thing happens today with email. Some people transmit electronic epics while others respond with a single word. Maybe they think they’re on Twitter. At times you may send an email with three queries. If the receiver replies, not all will be answered. Maybe we should only ask a single question in any email. Towards the end of the chapter, I have a few rules of email etiquette.
In chapter 23, I’ll spend more time on that partner to logging on to any account: the password. As mystifying and frustrating as that is, changing email addresses is almost impossible to do, taking not days or weeks, but months. For one thing, using the email of one provider gives you knowledge and some confidence that another may not provide. If the new service is easier and more user-friendly, you still have much to do. I do this by utilizing technology as much as possible to speed up the process. I hope that none of my valuable addresses are missing in action. I never promised you a rose garden.
Another way of contacting people is through social web sites. You can use Facebook to find out what time your friend got out of bed on Sunday and what she had for breakfast. This is important. LinkedIn is for people who have jobs or are looking for one. I was on both sites some time ago, but departed each. Not long ago I returned to Facebook and LinkedIn but quickly left both again. If people want to contact me, they can call or email me. When I returned to LinkedIn, I experienced some strange goings on. I wasn’t sure if I had an account. Setting up my account, I was given a screen that required input, but because I was retired, any of the choices I selected would have been a lie. Maybe that was why my status was in limbo. I decided I didn’t want or need to have an account on LinkedIn, so I figured it was time to say adieu. I soon found that doing so was nearly impossible. Searching the Internet, one site said that it would take days. Another gave twelve steps or more. I was lucky to see a three-step approach – I’m glad it wasn’t the two-step since I don’t dance. My friend Ron came to my rescue with an easy way. I tried it but the account was still there, but on trying again, I was freed. I won’t join again.
Other sites are Twitter, but the only way of communicating is through bird sounds. It may be a great idea to correspond in 140 characters or less, but what about Vanna? Besides the sites I mentioned, I never even considered Twitter or any other social site and am happier for it.
What can we do about this communication situation? Don’t forget all the letters and packages that were lost on September 11, 2001? What about the documents the IRS might need along with your tax return? Do you think they would understand? My cousin Richard offered his solution. He said that he would email, phone and send a letter. This could work since the failure of all three is highly unlikely, but it could happen. Don’t forget about Murphy. On the other hand, many humans wouldn’t be thrilled by the combination of the three. I wouldn’t be but would accept it.
There are few things that can be done to make email what it was supposed to be. The elimination of this junk correspondence will go a long way to another goal: improving communication. Here are the rules that should be put into practice:
1. Limit everyone to sending one email per day to each recipient. If you send an email and get one back and then decide to follow up with another to this person on the same day, it’s time to pick up the phone.
2. No Ponzi schemes of any kind are allowed. Avoid sending stuff with a threat that they will have to sit with an insurance salesman for the entire afternoon if they don’t pass on what you sent to ten others.
3. If you plan to send jokes or humor of any kind, make sure it’s funny, not racist, sexist or condescending and above all, get new material. If there won’t be laughs without these considerations, don’t send it. You can always pick on politicians, lawyers, agents and businessmen – they’re still fair game until they clean up their acts. On too many occasions, I get the same funny material over and over and it’s old stuff – some of which I’ve included in my books. The sender either didn’t read that book or he is a speed reader – he reads without comprehension.
4. An email with no subject should never be sent. If the title is no subject, it appears that you have nothing to transmit, so don’t send it.
5. A greeting and signature is always an example of civility, so use them both and avoid emails that are one word or less. You really don’t need to send just the two words, Thank you. If you really feel you should, add a bit more to the message. I get many emails without the names of the sender. Should I reply, Hi no name or senior moment person?
6. Don’t send epics. People don’t care to read long, boring emails so keep it short and to the point. If you go on and on, you’re not being concise and people won’t read what you sent. I certainly won’t.
7. If you receive an email demanding a response or appears to need one, answer it. Why have an email address, if you are not going to check to see what is in your inbox? Above all, don’t wait three months to respond. Perhaps it would be better not to give out your address if you have no intention of answering.
8. If someone emails you with something that isn’t too nice, don’t respond. Answering means you’ve crawled into the gutter with the sender. If you still feel you must respond, wait at least a day before doing so.
9. Don’t send FWs. If you have an email with FW in the subject line, at least go to the subject and remove those two letters.
10. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Today, tech is so overwhelming that we forget our family and friends and rule #7 above, the latter of which I did recently. John in England sent an email and I took so long to answer that my cousin sent another asking if I was OK. The relatives in England were worrying about me. I emailed him in reply and now on receiving his follow up, I have to get back to him. My delay has to do with my new email address. I was very fortunate that using various aspects of tech, my email change was accomplished in a fairly reasonable amount of time.
The Box Tops released the song that’s the title of the chapter in July 1967. I prefer the late Joe Cocker’s version of the song, found on his release, Mad Dogs & Englishmen.