Hamster Davies - A Life of Conttinual Dysfunction by Dwight J. Sernoskie - HTML preview

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Chapter 2

The factual foundation of a family excursion that will not be that simple to forever overlook

 

We presently observe hours later another family, the Calpowns, father Danny, the family's uncle Bruno and Danny's astonishing daughter Julie, getting prepared to go out on the town.

Though, the Calpowns, are well-liked business people that regularly do not get the chance at times, to experience a family outing together, considering the family owns various dry-cleaning stores throughout one-half-of the state of New York, and furthermore, in an assortment of direct areas.

The Calpowns as well have huge disparaging competitors in the business of dry- cleaning, basically as some further industries usually do.

Throughout the years, Danny has had few troubles with neighbourhood competitors, who have endangered dishonest actions against him, as his voice can be soon heard … Bruno, is my tie straight, walking towards him?

Bruno at this moment stands up from his present sitting position to check him out more cautiously.

As he enthusiastically continues to stare at him … Hang on and let me see what you’re wearing first since, you know the threads are important, while a few seconds pass.

Well … Looking at him, with a judgmental smirk on his face, waiting for Bruno to reply his simple question, even if he just takes his time looking at, in the comfort of their own family living room, placing extra suspense in the air … Give me a few more seconds here, you know, so I can take the appearance in, even though Danny getting a little annoyed with him … Well, try not to look me over all night, we have to get going soon.

Yes I concur.

Julie seen walking, enters the room, with the two of them standing and leering on at each other.

I don't want to go out to this stupid theatre thing tonight, as a family, despite if her father turns to her … You're going out on the town with me and your uncle if you like it or not there, little missy.

Why can't I stay home and watch a movie, then, to go to some stage theatre to watch people dancing around in their underwear and leotards for, placing her hands up in the air in-question?

Do you have some concerns about going out with your old man, considering Bruno cuts into the conversation … Besides, he looks pretty handsome over there, I had to stare at him for a while longer than usual that is, except from a guy's prospective any ways; on the other hand, if it was for a lady friend, well, direct and intent looking obviously, considering I don't want them, you know a woman could sense any hesitation that I might be given them the creeps or not.

Julie shaking her head, showing a foolish grin on her face, with a mocking stare, towards her precise disappointment … No-really, who would ever think that you may even make a woman feel creped out by looking intently at her.

Danny gesturing, presently waving his hands in the air … WE'RE NOT GOING TO THE FLIPPING BALLET, laughing, in a strident questioning pitch … We're going to a theatre that has men and women performing their lines on a theatrically stage, and I think their actors; yet, in a mystifying tone of voice, taking into account this is his, and, the others first time watching any live performing arts appearance.

You will like it; I’ve heard it is very artsy, Bruno adds turning his head at her; even so, in an attempting convincing stare.

Yes, artsy that’s an awfully good word to use Bruno, which is why I considered the idea would be a great family outing for us all, you know being together and all.

Oh, please, placing her one hand over her forehead in sorrow … If I wanted to watch people acting dysfunctional, or yet, walking around all crazy looking, I could look out the window; on the other hand, H-E-L-L-O, I'm not sure if you two are aware of this, but, we do live, in New York, she expresses in a puzzling voice, walking over to a nearby window, pulling the blinds widely open, to later demonstrate the area of the street they live on.

Well, that could be correct I suppose, Bruno replies, though, he has that appearance of being confused to what he heard, spoken by her … But these people are true professionals in the business of dancing around, plus, I may include, really need to play the role of being sincerely dysfunctional, besides, I suppose they invented the fairies; nonetheless, not the ones you could ride, or would leave somebody cash if their tooth fell out, Bruno stresses.

Oh, brother, showing her bewilderment by placing her one hand over her forehead yet again … FATHER, she shouts, whereas, Bruno was going to speak, other than her father momentarily cuts him off … And, I did assure your uncle that I would buy him an ice-cream cone and maybe a horsy ride, too; however, if only he's good, currently showing his happiness to the news heard.

Julie looking at her father and uncle in a cynical stare … Uh, I bet that would be interesting to look forward to, oh-boy, yup I just can't wait to see that, commenting, and walking in her father’s direction, slapping him lightly on his shoulder … Yes, what an image, a truly over-grown man on a small pony, a priceless snapshot to be later uploaded too many social media websites.

Hey, it’s possible, Bruno stresses in an inquiring tone.

Would you stop making fun of your uncle, you know he likes numerous things, despite if the things, or yet, objects that can be glistening or gleaming at times, bearing in mind they can hold him up, plus, by looking at him, he isn't one of those little people that you can presently put into some clown car, so, picture a large man riding a small horse, sooner or later, with a plumbers crack in behind there.

Julie again turning at her father speaking, but in a surprising stare …. Oh, the image isn't that funny to believe, in spite of, of course, the picture, or maybe even the video would likely get a million plus hit online, or not, by people, who surely like plump fat guys in awkward poses, taking into consideration there are those curious cubby chasers in the world that often like that type-of stuff, too.

Danny now turning his head towards Bruno …. What time is it, he asks, seeing Bruno appears at his watch … Its show time, therefore, let us all shake a leg … Or, break one, Danny suddenly implies.

Though, seemingly very flustered at present … I wish I could break one right now, she claims sarcastically, as all three of them walk to the front door before clutching a banana from the bowl sitting on the table close by.

She quickly turns to her father … I'm bringing this banana with me, so I can have some fun with somebody on stage, even if looking on, grabbing the banana out of her hand, placing it back into the bowl.

No you're not going to have any fun, with that object, perhaps to throw, fling, toss, or even heaving it, glimpsing at her father keenly … You know you're taking all the fun out of this for me, or, what could have been of an entertaining night?

I don't like that smirk that she’s expressed over there, Bruno mentions, despite the fact that Danny turns to his brother-in-law’s direction … Just take it easy my blood pressure rises hastily, I think I may need to go on that program I’ve been reading about for some time, despite the consequences if Bruno seems moderately puzzled … You mean, from that lady on television, who sends her costly products to people, who by chance can't go buy their own groceries from a grocery store, as well as, must, might, and yet, may eat lesser portions of food to shortly loss weight, appearing at him … No, I’m not overweight here, presently my blood pressure increases in the leased extreme discussion.

Oh well, you could have been a little more specific to what you were saying the first time around, seeing there are so various programs out there I could have guessed since, I might have been here all day, they’re everywhere, Bruno, placing his hands up in the air in-complete puzzlement, and, afterwards surprised.

At this time, Christmas, Juggs and Hamster have reached their destination outside the similar theatre the Calpown family will be attending besides.

Hamster glimpsing at the outer of the building … It's a theatre, good lord, stating in a swift apathetic tone, showing he’s not a true admirer of the theatre of the performing arts.

Is this the selection of theatre that we were going to visit because, although I was imagining something like a space odyssey or even a medical operational type act, considering I would have stayed in the hotel room, even though there’s nothing wrong with this form of theatre, also, muttering, so he doesn't let anyone down from his comment?

Listen, your mother wanted to come here, therefore, let's be thrilled about it, Christmas requests, bending towards him to quickly reveal; yet, in a low voice … Despite if both of us want to be here or not, as Juggs voice can be heard surprisingly … Wow, from what I can recall, you didn't want to come here either, considering Hamster turns his head towards her OH, shouting in an expressive way, you don't say, so, I’m not imagining this black daunting cloud hovering near me that smells like economical toilet water?

Christmas twisting his head gradually in the direction of his dear wife … It's not the time or the place to get into it dear?

Well, then, let's all realize the true opinion, or the disconcerting arrangement, Hamster points out, seeing Christmas leans over to her in a suggestion type voice … See, the boys thrilled to be here as well, and yes, let us all value the highlights and sounds shall- we, questioning in a normal voice, beginning to walk towards the theatre front doors, while Hamster stops and turns towards her.

You’re aware the man’s flip pen nuts right, though, looking back at him … Don't remind me, besides, it's terrible enough I’m married to him, bearing in mind I’m trying strongly to ignore the whole disconcerting event any ways; nevertheless, at least, we didn’t have to have one of those shot gun weddings when brothers and sisters, or perhaps cousins get married, and then, have kids that regularly look like other family members.

Hamster suddenly appearing at the back of his step-fathers head, who has walked into the theatre before them … That would be so unpleasant to have a further one of him around, the man's a-walking n-u-t house, pointing it out to her, whereas, she’s promptly seen shaking her head, taking into consideration that both of them are prepared to walk into the theatre as well.

As the Davies family enters the theatre lobby together, moments later a black car pulls up to the entrance of the theatre building, as the Calpowns are noticed getting out one by one.

Ah, the theatre, Danny notes, as Bruno and Julie stare at him. Just look at those dazzling lights, Bruno says.

Oh good god, do we have to do this, placing her one hand over her head once more in question, at the same time as Bruno stares at the vivid lights … Boy those lights are certain shiny and addictive to someone who likes glittery things such as, me, losing his enduring attention, to what he was going to say next.

FATHER, she needs to yell out!

WHAT, shouting back, turning his head at her … Would you please let the man enjoy his glitter, quickly blurting out, closing their car doors, soon starting to walk towards the theatre, considering that the Davies are previously in the main hallway of the aging theatre, situated near one of the entrances where a theatre employee is located, who is an employee, with the employment title of customer service representative that would help people, essentially to their scheduled seats, plus, normally serve others, with questions, or currently take ticket stubs.

Christmas currently walking to the customer service representative (CSR), attempting to locate where their seats are going to be?

Hello good sir, vigorously stating to the worker … I had bought three tickets online more than a few weeks ago, despite the fact opening his suit jacket pocket, therefore, he can hand the CSR their printed tickets.

Strangely the CSR takes a few seconds to look the tickets over, promptly checks the computerized seating plan on the theatres computer in front of him.

I'm sorry sir, but, these tickets are for next-weeks live performance, the CSR says, even though Christmas steps closer to the worker, blocking him, keeping his direct comment quiet, so, no one around them can hear what was stated, including his wife and Hamster.

Oh, I feel you're mistaken, pointing his one index finger at the computer … Maybe you should look at your computer once more, asking the CSR, twisting his head to soon appear at Juggs and Hamster, standing a short distance behind him, enthusiastically glancing at him as well; yet, with slight confusion on their own faces.

As the member of staff glimpses at him, shaking his head side to side, turning to look at his computer that would have the seating arrangement in view, even as, a few seconds pass by in awkward silence.

Well sir, I’m positive this time that your tickets are not good, in support of tonight's live show, replies the worker … That cannot be correct, leaning in to the worker, blocking both of them to what is being said?

But, it is sir; it’s what my computer is showing me, the member of staff affirms in a low voice.

Listen, Christmas mentions in a low whispering tone … I bought these tickets more than a few weeks ago over that internet thing-y I may include on the theatres online ticket purchasing service website.

While the worker, glances at him, with a firm stare on his face … Well, I’m sorry sir, but, your tickets are for next-weeks performance, and, it’s definitely not my fault if you’re not computer knowledgeable, the worker suggests, then, stops speaking to suddenly address him, as a visitor by saying … Sir, I mean, the employee derisively mentions by way of an immediate smile on his face, to soon after demonstrate some courteous.

Christmas, currently looking at the worker, with some uncertainty on his own face, in view of the fact that his wife is standing behind him, likely purposely knows that disappointment is not an option, soon appearing at the employee’s name tag on his chest.

Brock baby, he later mentions, in a charismatic welcoming way.

Yes sir, the worker implies, with a-relinquish puzzled stare, seeing Christmas is at present, trying to construct his words cautiously in his own head, ahead of speaking to the member of staff, in the midst of a confident smile, twisting his head over his right shoulder on purpose, to see if his dear wife and his step-son are going to be listening in to what he’s most likely going to say about this matter.

At the present time, Hamster squinting his eyes in his glasses … You know he’s going to say something dim-witted, you’re aware of that right, turning to her in a whispering voice.

Don't go there, presently smile back at your step-father making an ass out of himself, turning to currently stare at him, glancing at the two of them, with an unforeseen grin, then, turns at the worker … We’re both guys correct, Christmas asks the member of staff presently looking at him, in a peculiar wondering gaze.

Yes, I suppose sir, proclaims the worker, which is feeling a little uncomfortable at this point.

You have a pair and I have a pair, other than larger than yours of course, Christmas says in his sneering personal thought, though, needing to rudely include, as the employee has an strange look on his face.

Hamster, turning to Juggs once more, who is standing next to him as well … I knew he was going to say something stupid, stating, in a further whispering voice openly to her.

However, Christmas, standing in front of the worker, struggling to come up with an offer that would allow all three of them to get into the theatre, for that reason, he wouldn’t appear that unintelligent in front of wife, or elder step-son.

What would it take to let a chap in Brock; questioning the worker in a preoccupied tone, slowly trying to bribe the member of staff, even if Juggs continues to shake her head, speaking, now in a undertone to Hamster … He’s truly stooping low, given that Hamster nods in agreement to her comment, seeing Christmas is reaching into his one pants pocket, pulling out a twenty dollar bill in between him and the worker, therefore, no one can see what’s happening?

I don't think he can stoop any lower as he has been doing up to now, Hamster states.

This was going to the neighbourhood orphanage in-town, bearing in mind I really care for those little guys, but, I would rather have you have it, than, them, Christmas suggests, struggling to influence the worker not to take his cash; however, immediately to let them into the theatre, even as, Hamster and Juggs appear on, who can hear him speaking.

No, you’re wrong, he can still stoop lower than what we both thought he couldn’t do, at the same time as Hamster and her appear on-ward from their short distance behind him; all the same, well, sympathetic to what he’s doing, considering Hamster turns to recommend something in a low tone of voice to her … I hope that guy understands where that money just came from since, no one that I know anyways would want to place their own hands into those pants pockets, or would, what, or may need to know that could quickly come out of them.

Oh, don't tell me, I’m fully aware of it because, I’m often the one who has to wash those dirty pants and underwear's, and believe me, I’ve seen some crazy things that have come out of those pants, she stresses, in a whispering tone at him, considering the worker is acting rather confused by his undeviating discussion, provided that the worker needs to inquire … I don't follow you sir, but, are you coming on to me, questions the member of staff, glimpsing around to see if anyone may be looking over at them?

As a small despicable snicker comes from Christmas's mouth … You probably wish someone would come on to you with your scrawny body, ziti face and puny arms, afterwards, second guessing what the worker had suggested.

Listen, you little particle, me and my wife, and that over there, pointing at his step- son … Are trying to have a family trip, he sincerely says, despite continues forward, questioning the worker, taking into account other people are increasingly walking by them to get to their seats.

Is it my responsibility that I could have placed the incorrect date when I was online, purposing, in a whispering tone, as the member of staff looks at him … Yes, yes it would be, the worker insists, considering Christmas is noticed rather baffled to what the theatre worker had assumed, needing to step back a little, blowing some air from his nose, ahead of stepping closer to the member of staff.

Oh, so, it’s my fault that maybe, and, I use the word without due consideration mind you that I ought to have double-checked what I placed on the online ordering form prior to clicking the send button, Christmas queries again in a low voice.

Yes, yes it would be sir, the worker states to his account, despite the fact that Christmas is once again, glimpsing at the employee with a bewildered stare, strangely by means of a mystified intent look, on his face, needing to question the theatre worker more … Therefore, would it be my individual omission if I should have let someone decide, and then, place the online reservations, at the same time as seconds pass with awkward silence … For you sir, yes, it would have been a better idea, the worker says in a- kind hasty way, bearing in mind Christmas again, steps back a little, blowing some air from his nose, promptly leaning in towards him … You know, you're not r-e-a-l-l-y h-e-l- p-i-n-g the situation here, mentioning, now in a cynical manner.

Well, sorry sir, but, there’s nothing I can do for you or your family, placing his hands out in front of him at chest height, soon, putting his palms facing Christmas, gesturing openly to move away, taking into account he’s standing to close … This live performance is sold out, the theatre worker mentions, with a sociable grin, regardless if Juggs and Hamster continue to appear on behind him … Your step-father is such a tumble weed, saying, under her breath, even as, he nods in agreement.

Listen, I truly understand if you’ve lost our online reservation, although we're in- town for a little family vacation, altering the exchange to make it seem currently like it’s the employee's error, and, as a result, Juggs and Hamster can hear him talk, following the general conversation with the theatre worker.

You can possibly see that my dear loving wife over there, pointing to her looking back at both of us, most likely thinking I’ve screwed something up, along with, the snotty old enough thirties character, mutant, next to her will most likely think there's something going on, by now as well, which there isn’t, who also wanted to come and just witness a live stage show, not including this fine town, Christmas utters, with a little persuasion in his tone.

I can see that, the employee soon points out, in a trying voice, even though Juggs in a low pitch talking in Hamster direction … He truly doesn't know how-to negotiate, does he now, asking in a curious manner, even if standing next to her … No, he has no clue about that type-of switch over.

Now my wife is going to bust my blugg-a whale if she can't see a stage play, suggesting, using a distinct expression of word, basically signify something else, though, Hamster's voice can be heard from a distance, principally cutting his step-father off to what he was going to say … Is there something going on over there, seeing I-do-sense some kind-of factual annoyance in the air, furthermore, it seems to be coming from that direction, cynically implying, in spite of Christmas, and, the worker stare over at him.

There’s nothing going on because, I’m capable in a personal exchange, together with, I do have a way of talking to people, besides, I have everything under control, insisting, in a rather self-assured tone.

Hmm; on the other hand, I’m actually sensing a lack of total responsibility, Hamster replies, as Christmas turns towards him, in addition to Juggs, with a half smile on his face … THERE’S NOTHING GOING ON, he shouts; even so, in an elevated speech, while Hamster's voice can be heard yet again … Is that man talking about something, in the variety of a person's manhood or something, glancing back at the worker, grabbing his direct attention … Don’t be to unimpressed, I’ve heard it frequently shrinks after fifty.

There's nothing going on, Christmas implies a following time in a normal, but, growling sound in his voice looking on-wards at the worker in front of him, although Hamster’s prepared to ask another question, as his step-mother leers ahead.

He’s talking about me in his frequent sarcastic lacklustre words isn’t he now, Hamster says, to the worker once more in a curious tone, oddly as Christmas is getting a little fatigued, bearing in mind the two of them may be on to him that he’s messing up.

Perhaps if I was talking about you, plus, would be looking at your face, Christmas says in a regular tone of voice; still, glimpsing at the member of staff.

What's going on over there, she asks, her voice can be heard from a distance behind him, and the theatre worker?

NOTH-ING, shouting, in despair, although others in the entrance of the theatre’s hallway stop, and moreover, appear where the shouted word had come from!

Well, I see you're drawing some series awareness to yourself, Hamster mentions, taking into consideration Christmas needs to turn towards him … I’m aware, regardless of both his wife and Hamster are trying to conceal their overall facial smirks.

Meanwhile, Hamster's voice is heard from a distance … Hey, needing to point at the worker … Just so you know I do have a pair, looking down at the front of his pants … Regardless if that one, providing an unexpected head nod at Christmas … Is trying to claim I don't, immediately wanting to let you know that, speaking, pointing, in a positive and egotistical voice, even though Juggs rather turns to stare at him.

And, why would people want to talk, about your manhood, looking at him in a regular tone of voice?

We’re not talking about nothing in an unenthusiastic way, or even the mutants manhood; nonetheless, that’s still, up for debate, given that Hamster is getting moderately paranoid … They're a great size, look over here ticket guy, presently clutching his shoulder with her one hand … You're not going to show anything to anyone in-here, where not that type-of family; on the other hand, strangely that wouldn’t mean your step-father wouldn’t do it.

NO ONE IS SHOWING anybody ANYTHING, SO, LET ME TALK WITH TIMMY OVER HERE, Christmas shouts in a bewildering voice.

That's Brock sir, mentions the worker.

Oh-yeah, Brock, Christmas states back at her, briefly, pointing at the worker, seeing Hamster walks over to both of them.

Okay, saying, in a low whispering voice … I know you two are talking about a person's manhood since, generally guys regularly do, eyeballing Christmas … Seeing I know this man like the back of a-well stable hand, explaining to the worker, in the meantime, his step-mother, Juggs, standing by herself, looking on at the three of them, cuddling narrowly together.

If you need to know so badly, I was letting Tony over here, Christmas replies talking to Hamster in person, even as, the voice of the worker is heard … NO, IT’S BROCK, SIR, the member of staff needs to yell, as he and Hamster look at him in silence, ahead of turning soon after to lean in towards Hamster, then, twists his neck to appear at the worker, afterwards, glimpsing eagerly at Hamster next to him, bearing in mind Juggs is standing behind them in doubt.

I don't want your mother to know that something is going on, she’ll sacrum size me if I goof this one up, clarifying, in a soft direct voice.

Though, Hamster turns to look at the theatre worker, standing there looking back at the two of them, eyebrows completely raised, and his eyes opened largely.

As he appears on, thinking of something important to state, principally trying to break the awkwardness building, plus, knowingly knowing Christmas is attempting to fix a wrong with a right.

Listen. Guy. What this is trying to say is that he doesn't want to get his pompoms ripped off by his wife, pointing to the worker, not including, therefore, his step-mother can’t take notice of it either, observed, over-dramatically hammering his step-fathers imaginative manhood on the corner of the counter … Hey, would you stop that little ball guy, his step-father proposes, grasping him away from the counter where the worker is standing next to, even though asking the worker … What can you do for a guy whose desperate, as you can see, and, for a family that traveled a great distance to some far away city that they’ve never been, obviously pointing to himself … You know, before this grown-up grabs your-young and stern battleship, bending you soon over to shove it up your blow hole, asking the theatre worker, with a pessimistic stare?

Oh, and, I'm sure that would hurt, Hamster mentions in a whispering voice, while the member of staff expresses some unease on his face at the two of them in an obvious – I’m not too positive what I should do at this instant moment, despite Juggs is mainly questioning what’s happening from a distance.

Weirdly, moments later, the two of them start walking courageously back in her direction, who has been waiting extremely understandingly, although has a troubled stare on her face.

Good news, Hamster claims!

Oh-yeah, what's that, or, did the two of you actually realize it usually doesn't take that long to frequently locate something?

No … Whatever, we’re merely talking ball, Christmas states, besides, the worker was so pleased after our long-lasting talk, furthermore, visiting their fine city, he, gave us box seats for today’s live presentation, even if her common intent look expresses her true suspicion.

Box seats, eh, she says at the two of them, so, how did you manage that?

You should know me by now, considering I know how-to deal, with people, plus, it's not that hard, you just have-to-know what to say to them, if you kiss their own personal assess, usually sticking your tongue in holes allowed of course, people will often see your point of view.

So, I guess your tongue must be brown after all the chatting over there, looking at her with a sheer discontented smile on his face, rolling his eyes?

Well, that would be if you have a pair, Hamster includes, turning to stare in her direction, then, before long appearing at Christmas looking at her, too.

Right you do, bearing in mind you mostly Christmas couldn't even manage to get yourself out of a taxi-cab at times; nonetheless, get us box seats mind you.

Actually he was pretty convincing over there, besides, I believe the worker felt the same way, Hamster claims, reacting essentially in Christmas's defence.

Well, I guess a thank you is in order for the theatre worker, you know, being, so, pleasant and sympathetic, having your tongue deep up his crack and all.

N-O-O, Christmas shouts, I honestly think he wants to be thanked right now, trying to c