ST JAMES'S PALACE
It is now Monday 11.30 in the morning. In a large wood paneled room, the Queen Mother is sitting in her favorite well cushioned chair. Philip, Charles, and Anne are seated around the Queen Mother (Nana). Cups of tea and half eaten cakes are in evidence around the room. They have been in light hearted conversation for a while.
When Nana suddenly turns to a more serious subject. "Now it has come to my attention that you naughty little things have been up to mischief at Paddington Station." She holds out her hand beckoning Anne to come closer. "Of course I'm not talking about you my precious darling. I know you would never do anything like that."
Philip and Charles look at each other dumbfounded. Then look back to the QM.
"I hear that you two little scallywags have been helping yourselves to bags of money on a regular basis. In fact, every Thursday afternoon around 1.30 to be exact. Is that correct?"
Philip, "How do you?" Doesn't finish his sentence.
"I know it hasn't been easy for you. But this has got to stop."
"I'm sorry Nana, but we needed the money for a new house."
"I know all about your new house, but I have some very unhappy people who have asked me to punish you."
Charles, "We have to get Anne out of that place we're living in. It's just no good for her."
"I can understand that. I knew you would have a perfectly good explana-tion. And Charles please have a little more respect for the English language, your diction has become less than I would expect from you."
"Yes Nana."
"But children you have over 18 and a half million pounds. Do you really need a bigger house than the one you looked at, on Streatham common?"
Anne, "You're not angry with us then?"
"Angry, how could I ever be angry with you my darling. As for your two naughty brothers over there. I know they only did what they had to do for you. I love them as if they were my own children.
Anne throws herself at Nana and wraps her arms around her neck giving her a big loving cuddle.
"I love you to Nana."
"I love you to my darling, but I can't breathe."
Anne releases her hold on Nana and bounces back into her own chair.
"Oh I'm sorry Nana, I don't know my own strength sometimes."
Nana catches her breath, and relaxes back into her chair, "Thank you darling.... Now on a more serious note, I have a little something I need to talk to you about."
"Oh Nana, have I done something wrong?"
"No my darling, The thing is. I know it's in your jeans, but you really must try to curb your enthusiasm when in the company of the opposite sex. I know this has now become the new permissive society. But I am asking you to please try and say no. Just for me, and just a little more of-ten than you normally would."
Philip butts in to take the pressure off Anne. "We didn't want to say anything, but that is the main reason we want to buy this house."
"I understand that my darling and have no fear, that house is going to be yours."
Charles wanting to get in on the conversation, "We have the cash."
"MONEY Charles. We have the MONEY. Not CASH. You are not an American. Oh what am I to do with you?"
Charles corrects himself at the same time apologizing to Nana, "Sorry Nana. We have the MONEY."
"That's better. Now I understand you are all set to go off to Spain again."
Philip, "Yes Nana, we're going tomorrow morning."
Nana, "That'll be Majorca?
Author’s Last Name 1-2 Words from Title 42
Anne, "Yes Nana, it's so lovely there.
"I am sure it is. You must bring me back some photographs."
Anne, "I'll buy a camera from the duty free shop at the airport tomorrow.
It's a shame that you can't come with us"
Smiling with great love and affection at Anne, "You are a darling. I would love to, but you know how difficult that would be. But I do predict a long and prosperous future for all of you."
Charles is finishing off a giant sized chocolate éclair. He's trying to talk at the same time as he's licking chocolate and cream from his fingers. With a big blob of cream on his nose, "18 and a half million pounds should give us a good start."
Nana is looking at Charles, but at the same time pointing to her own nose, "Yes it will be, but remember one thing. NEVER let anyone know how you came about it. Even when you get married. Your wife or your husband must never know.
Philip, "That seems sensible. But when we make our fortune the legal way, there won't be any reason for anyone to know how we started, or where we got our money from.
"My darling boy. People always want to know how you started. That's just human nature. They want clues as to how it might help them do the same."
Philip tries to inject some humor into the conversation, only to find he is being more sarcastic than humorous. "We could tell them we are the illegitimate children of the Duke of Edinburgh. And he left us millions."
Taking a long thoughtful sip of her tea. Nana slowly lifts her head up from her cup and looks directly at Philip, "Yes illegitimate, but illegitimate abandoned children of the Duke of Edinburgh. But let me say this.
This is something I have never told you before, but it is only through the grace of God, and the love I have for all three of you, that you are not all distant memories."
A quiet comes over the room with the realization of what has just been said. Philip, Charles, and Anne give each other a knowing and serious look.
Philip quickly looks back to the QM, "Are we still in danger?"
Charles has since wiped the cream from his nose, frowning, he turns on Philip, "What after all this time. Don't be stupid"
The Queen Mother, now frowning and shaking her head from side to side, points directly at Charles, “Never take anything for granted. You must follow the idles of Alexandra Dumas. (All for one, and One for All.) nothing must ever ever come between you. Now to change the subject. I have been thinking that to account for your new found fortune, we should arrange for you to have a rather large win on the football pools."
The telephone on a nearby table rings. The Queen Mother answers it.
There is a short conversation. After hanging up the phone she turns back towards her guests. "I am afraid I have just been informed that there has been an serious accident at "Pickford's Removals" where your step father Edward works. I understand he has been involved in an incident involv-ing a new driver who accidentally reversed into him as he walked behind a lorry in the loading bay.
Philip, "What's happened"?
"Well the details are rather vague, but from the information I have received, he has a fractured pelvis, and is unconscious from hitting his head as he fell.
Charles, "Should we go to the hospital?"
"I don't think that would be a good idea. There will be nothing you can do for him. Besides you have enough to do preparing yourselves for your flight tomorrow."
Outside of the palace, Philip, Charles, and Anne are walking towards Philip's car.
Philip, "Well that was interesting. Give it a week or so, and we'll be free to start spending."
Charles, "Bout time we started to spend some of our ill gotten gains."
Anne, "Shoes?"
Philip, "You can have as many shoes as you want darling."
Anne, "Ah!!" Gives Phil a hug and a kiss.
Charles, Can we pop into Barkley Square, I want to order myself a white Roller?
Philip, "Let's get this trip to Spain out the way, and then we'll go on a shopping spree you'll never forget."
Charles, "Yeah, that sounds good to me. Are we going to the hospital?"
Philip, "Na."
Charles, "Na, didn't think so."
Anne, "How about we spend a lot of money whilst we're in Spain."
Philip, "Yeah, why not. We could all do with spending a few bob. But we can't go mad, well not yet anyway. OK"
The other two reluctantly agree.