Who's Your Daddy 2015 by Phil Mitchell - HTML preview

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Chapter 11.

The following day at Los Pinos – The Pines golf course on the island of Majorca Spain.

Harry and Vince both dressed in long shorts, golf shirts, and golf shoes, standing on the 1st tee. Swinging golf clubs loosening up.

Two caddies standing around waiting for Harry and Vince to start playing.

Bob is sitting in one of three golf carts. Dressed in long trousers and a long sleeved shirt. He's bored and showing it, as he swigs back beer from one of the six bottles he has in his cart. He is looking very much out of place.

In Harry's usual aggressive manner he asks Vince "Are you ever going to hit a fucking ball?"

"After that stroke you pulled at my golf club the other day you cost me five grand to keep me membership. So if you're in such a fucking hurry you hit a ball."

"Alright get out the fucking way." Harry pushes past Vince and tees his ball up. Hits it straight down the middle, tosses his club back to his caddy. Walks back towards his cart. "Come on let's get this over with."

"What's the rush, we've got all day."

"You might have. I've gotta go buy some villas."

"Yeah right, we'll see about that." Vince tees his ball up and hits it out to the right into some bushes. "Ah Bollocks."

Bob is still seated in his golf cart, drinking his beer. As Harry passes him to get into his golf cart, Bob asks "Is he supposed to do that?"

"He's a wanker, this won’t take long."

Vince gets in his own cart. "Oye, I'm still here. I CAN hear you you know."

They all drive off down the fairway towards the location of the occupants individual golf balls.

Vince gets to his ball, sees it's unplayable and gives it a kick into a better location. Hits it out onto the fairway.

Vince's caddy gives Vince a disapproving look.

Vince looks back and sneers at his caddy, "What's the matter with you. You want a slap?"

They are now on the 7th Tee. Harry asks Vince if he's had enough. "I'm 6

up. Do you want to call it quits so I can go an have a beer?"

"What you talking about. I'm just getting warmed up."

"The only thing you've warmed up's your right boot."

"You calling me a cheat?"

"I'd have been more surprised if you hadn't cheated."

"What you on about?"

"Well Stop me if I'm wrong, but ain't you that, Crooked, No Good, Cheat-ing, Twisted, Bent, Fat Bastard, Villain From South London who sent their crew round to my house to kill me three days ago?"

"I told you that was a mistake."

"Well I ain't forgot it, plus you ain't got a fucking scooby about golf, have you?"

"What you on about?"

"Well you're the one who wanted the stupid bet ain't ya?"

"Yeah."

"Well you're fucking useless."

Sarcastically, "Fuck me for a minute there I thought you were gonna say something bad about me."

Bob is now holding up an upside down empty beer bottle. Shouts over from his golf cart. We know by now he has no interest in golf. "Are we done yet.? Can we go back and get a beer?"

Harry again asks Vince if he's Had enough?

Dejected, and knowing he's well and truly beaten, "Yeah s'pose so. I'm gonna carry on. I guess I'll see you at dinner tonight."

Harry is surprised to hear Vince is going to be at the same dinner as he is.

"We're going to Inca for dinner with the owners."

"Yeah we're going there to."

"Why the fuck are you going?"

"The agent invited me. He said they got more villas. Might as well take a look, have a natter."