It is now Monday night at the Celler C'an Marron. One of the original restaurants that made Inca Majorca famous. With the ambiance of old Spain. Lining the walls there are 7' foot high, 100 year old wine vats that have been cut in half and cemented to the cool white washed stone walls.
In the back of the restaurant there is a well stocked bar.
A table set for 11 people is situated in the middle of the room. Already seated at the table is a well dressed Estate Agent Rosario, and his equally well dressed and attractive wife Mercedes. They are seated opposite Vince who is wearing a white suite and far too much gold, he has Mandy sitting next to him. She is now looking well groomed and has changed her tarty blond hair for a more sophisticated black color. They are talking, drinking, and laughing.
Entering the restaurant via the wrought iron hand railed staircase, Harry, Amanda, and Bob descend into the main body of the room. Amanda notices Mandy is wearing the same dress as her.
Mandy gets up from the table and rushes over to Amanda. They kiss each other on the cheek hug. Released from their short hug they examine each other.
Amanda, "I love the dress, you look fantastic!!"
Mandy, "You don't look so bad yourself."
"Cheeky cow. Did you get them to give you that dress after I left?"
"Yeah, I never knew we were going to be at the same party."
Vince, "How'd you two know each other?"
Mandy, "We meet in the dress shop this afternoon."
"I'd never have guest."
Harry, "You both look great. Specially you babe." Pats Amanda on the back side. Then strokes it, "Oh, I love that silky arse."
She gives Harry a kiss on the cheek. "You keep that up, and you could be in luck tonight."
Bob looks over at Mandy and gives her a bit of a look. "Could be twins."
Vince notices Bob's intentions, "Oye, I got my eyes on you."
"Calm down. Only having a laugh. They both look great."
The newcomers take theirs seats and everyone sits down.
Harry leans over to Amanda, "What'd ya want ta drink babe?"
"I think Shampoo would be nice."
"Yeah, no prob's." Looks around for the waiter. Beckons him over.
Jesus the waiter, (Jesús pronounced Ha'sus). Swiftly manoeuvres himself over to Harry, "May I help you?"
"Ah yes mate. You got any decent Champaign?"
"Would you like to see the wine list?"
"No mate that's ok. Just bring us a bottle of the good stuff and a couple of them San Migwells?" Leans over to Mercedes, "You'd like a drop of sham-poo wouldn't you love?"
"Muchas gracias, sí, por favor."
The door at the top of the stairs opens and everyone looks up.
It's Philip, Charles and Anne. By the time Harry speaks they are half way down the stairs. He calls to them. "What the fuck you lot doing here?
You on holiday?"
Philip, "You could say that."
All three have now reached the bottom of the stairs and are in the body of the restaurant.
Jesus the waiter hurries over to them, and gives Anne a hug, and warmly shakes the hands of Philip, and Charles.
Senorita Anne. Hola senur Philip, senur Charles.
Anne, very happy to be there, and in great spirits, "Hello Ha'sus. How are you, how's your little daughter Isabel?"
"Ah, she is beautiful. Thank you for asking."
"Where's Teresa?"
He points over towards the bar. "She over there."
Anne hurries over to Teresa who is working behind the bar. "Hola Teresa."
Teresa sees Anne coming towards her, opens her arms and gives Anne a big hug.
"Ah, mi poco un usted ha vuelto." Ah my little one you have come back.
Harry now intrigued, "I take it you've been here before."
Charles, "We own the place."
"Yeah so do I."
Philip gives Harry a look. "No really. We own the place."
"You serious?"
"Yeah, and we own the villas you bought this afternoon. Well we used to.
You own them now. We've got about 400 more if you're interested."
Vince butts in, "They sold me my gaff 'bout 8 months ago."
"You never said you had a gaff over here."
"Well you and me don't exactly go to Fortnum's for afternoon tea bekies, and cosy little chats now do we."
Charles, "We sold Tom Jones a villa in Cala Bona a while back."
Harry, "I think I'm missing out on somefing here."
Jesus returns with a tray of drinks. Places them on the table and pours out the Champagne.
Harry is now confused and is wondering, "How come, you say you got all them villas, and you've been fucking around with tuppenny hapenny poxy football tickets?"
Charles tries to bring some levity into the conversation and into the room, "We just done that for a laugh."
Philip quickly puts Charles's last comment into perspective, "Well, that and we didn't want to tip our hand to the old bill, and let everyone think we had Billy Bundles."
"You having a laugh. What do you mean let them think you got Billy Bundles. You must have fucking millions."
Charles, still wanting to inject more levity into the room, "Yeah, good in'it."
Jesus the waiter asks if they want anything else?
Harry holds up an empty glass, Yeah, can we have a couple more of them Sam Migwells.
Philip, "It's San Miguel, not Sam Migwell. Or you can just order a cerveza. That's Spanish for beer."
Harry, "I'll try and remember that. You know you lot where close to getting a slap back in London. What were you thinking?"
"You wouldn't have done anything. You like us too much."
Points in the direction of Amanda who is now knocking back the drinks and having a great laugh at the bar with Teresa. "How could you think about doing anything to that nutter?"
"You're right. I was never gonna do nothing. Well not unless I really had to."
Vince butts into the conversation, "Well they are a bit special?"
Charles, "Wouldn't have anything to do with us and Phil the Greek would it?"
Philip, "Don't knock it Charley. Remember who got us here.
"Yeah BR."
"How about Nana giving us a pass?"
Bob, "What's that all about then?"
Everything goes quiet. They all turn and look down the table at Bob.
Bob looks up with a vacant expression on his face, "What?"
Harry, "Don't think that's anything they're gonna be sharing with us any time soon....Do you?
"Just thought I'd ask."
Philip, "I'm hungry. Let's order. I Think I'll have that special liver dish I had before."
Charles, "Yeah I'll have one of them."
Around forty five minutes later everyone is having a good time, they are still eating and drinking, everything seems good humored.
Harry, "Great grub." Asks Rosario, "How come your wife's named after a car?"
Rosario in very good English. "It's actually a Spanish name derived from the Virgin Mary, María de las Mercedes - Mary of Mercies."
"Ah I never knew that. How about your name. What's it mean?"
"Rosario is a Spanish unisex name it comes from one of the Virgin Mary's titles. Nuestra Señora del Rosario - Our Lady of the Rosary."
"I ain't been here long, but I think I'm really gonna like it. Looks like I've been missing out on a lot of good stuff. I should have come over here a long time ago."
The night had got off to such a good start, Vince asks Harry if he would fancy going round to his villa after for a drink?
Harry not knowing exactly where he is on the island, he asks Vince, "How far is it?"
"It's back where we came from. Cala Bona."
"What. Where they sold that place to Tom Jones?"
"Yeah, his is nearby, I can see his place from mine, but I got a great view of the sea."
Harry is in such a good mood, "Yeah why not."
We are now back at Vince's very expensive and luxurious villa. Mandy, and Amanda, are sitting together. Feet up on sun beds talking laughing, and drinking by the pool.
Harry, Vince, and Bob are on the other side of the pool drinks in hand talking admiring the view.
Harry, "Bit out the way this. You got some bollocks coming here on your own."
"What do you mean on me own? I ain't here on me own."
"Looks a lot like you're on your own ta me."
"Take a look at your shirt."
Harry looks down and sees red laser dots from at least two rifles moving around on his shirt.
"What the fuck's that?"
"Well it ain't fucking measles is it?"
"You crafty cunt."
"It's just a little insurance."
Bob grabs Vince from behind and wraps an arm around his neck, holding a gun to his head.
"He goes. You go. You prick."
"You think I'm completely fucking stupid? I got no intention a doing nothing to Harry, in fact I got you here to make him an offer."
Trying to brush the moving dots from his shirt "So get them fucking spots off me."
Looking round the best he could, straining his neck, and starting to sweat, Vince is looking directly into Bob's face, "You'll need to get this trained monkey off me first?"
Harry gives Bob a nod to release Vince. Bob releases Vince and gives him a bit of a shove in the back. He stumbles forward, as he does he raises his arm and gives a signal in the direction of the woods.
All the dots have gone from Harry's shirt. Immediately the dots appear on Bobs Shirt.
Harry is pleased that the dots have gone and notices they are now on Bob's shirt, "You've had this planned from the off. You crafty bastard."
There is a deafening noise of at least 2 rifles being fired. Bob is hit in the chest and in the crutch he drops to the floor, blood spouting everywhere, he's dead before he hits the ground..
Mandy has no real reaction to the shooting. She remains calm and seated. Taking another swig of her drink. Then calmly to Amanda, "Shit.
Bit extreme, what'd you think babes?"
Amanda jumps up. Runs towards Harry picking up Bob's gun on the way pointing it at Vince.
"What the fuck Harry, what's going on !!!"
Harry has a spattering of blood on his shirt but he's OK, "It's alright babe.
I'm OK.
"OK. Alright. Bob's just had his bollocks blown halfway back to Brixton, and you say it's OK."
Vince tries to pacify Amanda, "it's true Harry's got nothing to worry about."
He gives Bob's body a slight nudge with his foot. Making sure he's dead.
To Harry, "Tell her about it. Go on."
"All right give it a minute, me ears are still ringing from those fucking cannons you used. How about we get another drink?"
"Yeah no probs." Calls over to Mandy, "Mandy babe can you get Harry and me another couple of them Cuba Libras."
A bit non plus, and confused, "A couple of what?"
"To you babes, a couple of Bacardi and Cokes, and don't forget the lemon.
I can't stand it without the lemon, how about you Harry, you want lemon?"
"Yeah I'll have lemon." Then raises his voice so that Mandy can hear clearly, "Plenty of ice." Lights up a cigarette.
Mandy gets up, "Ok babes I got it."Calmly goes to the bar to make the drinks,
Amanda is still in a state of shock and panic. Harry tries to pacify her "He's right there girl, Bob tried to muscle in on the deal with the villas.
Amanda still shaken, "No he wouldn't. Even if he did. Don't you think that was a little bit over the top.
Vince thinks for a split second. "Yeah, s'pose you're right. But he had to be taught a lesson."
"I think you've well and truly done that."
"Sorry if it's ruined your night."
"No, no it hasn't ruined my night. But you certainly took the sausage out of poor old Bobs fucking hot-dog."
"Such language. From you of all people." Vince now turns to Harry, "Where has she been picking up such bad language?"
"I think she's been mixing with a bad crowd."
Amanda is still not a happy bunny, "So what's it all about then?"
"Vince told me about Bob before we left England."
"How do you know he was telling you the truth? You know what he's like."
"I checked before we left. I made a few calls, and when the three of them showed up tonight it all made sense. He'd been giving Anne one in the bogs at the club. He must have known they were the owners before we did. So why didn't he tell me?"
Amanda, now coming to terms with the situation, "Bastardo."
Vince, "She speaks good Spanish don't she?"
"She went to a posh school. Mind you. You never did like him did ya?"
Vince sneering down at the dead bloody body at his feet, "Naa."
"Fare enough. I just had a thought. You just done my driver. How the fuck am I supposed to get home?