Chapter 15: Getting in touch with God
Getting in touch with God does not mean you need a church or a spiritual body to help you find a way. Some people love going to a church or temple, others much prefer being alone and find dealing with highly religious people extremely trying.
Knowing your God does not mean you are a religious fanatic. In fact religious fanatics may be said to know their religion and not God at all.
The God principle is in all of us. Even atheists believe in something. Humans need to belief in a greater good, it is hardwired into our frontal cortex’s{8} – which are unique to humans.
In fact, belief should be looked at as an evolutionary asset that helps human survival. When faced with overwhelming odds, the human brain is hard wired to believe something will happen to make it right. If we did not have that ability we would not fight for survival. Whether you believe in God or Darwinian natural selection theories, we will have certain beliefs that will help us through difficult times. In psychology we call these core beliefs. Core Beliefs may be interpreted as a knowing. However a core belief may not be the truth or even based on reality. A child will believe in Father Christmas or the tooth fairy, but an adult, hopefully, will know these are imaginary people.
Core beliefs can be defined as the very essence of how people see themselves, others, the world, and the future. Core beliefs are normally set by our cultures and societies. Beliefs arise through our experience of the world around us and the teachings of those we admire. Beliefs may change, but we find it difficult to do this. Core beliefs may be negative, such as “I am unlovable, or not good enough” Core beliefs govern your life, so try to ensure they are good and positive.
Core beliefs create our values and morals.
Exercising our belief, such as in a church, gives humans great satisfaction and a sense of meaning. This may involve us trying to convert others to our belief structures.
If you are in a Retirement Villages, hopefully you find the ministers of many faiths serving this community, allowing you to find someone to be sympathetic to your belief systems. Spiritual growth is important as we grow older. It is okay to be an atheist, agnostic or even a believer in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The danger is connecting to all those who have different beliefs- do not go to into a Methodist church village and try and convert others to your belief, unless you want to find yourself isolated. Definitely do not buy into a complex that you have strongly different beliefs to.
That which you decide is important to you is a value. Values will influence your behaviour to others and your sense of right and wrong.
Here are some examples of those values I recommend developing:
When I train ethics, I tell people that morals are when you do the right thing. That is a standard, as morals govern what is considered right and what is considered wrong and are interpreted by the person concerned. Morals and ethics are not common to all cultures. A culture may belief drowning a chicken is a moral step, while another will look at them in horror and scream animal cruelty.
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Any form of racism to me is morally wrong, but to my Government in South African in 2013 the forceful implementation of racially bound ratios in all businesses was done with very little moral outrage from the business or the people. As with any kind of government intervention on social engineering, this one went very wrong and as I write this book, South Africa is in a rapid economic decline and teetering on civil war. Social engineering- such as racial profiling is morally and ethically wrong in most developed cultures. Such profiling always leads to a serious skills shortage unless accompanied by excellent education systems, to churn out the needed skills. The South Africa education system declined due to racist policies and union involvement, to a degree where the children are barely functional in literacy from the government schools. In addition the people with needed skills are emigrating due to the decline in economic climate here, while our neighbours (except for Zimbabwe) are having positive growth. |
Morals are co-operative, as they can be influenced by belief and training. When I train people, often they will insist they believe they are very moral persons. These same persons believe it is acceptable to steal time from an employer, but not money. People will happily do personal shopping, have extended lunch and tea breaks, do social media and personal work during work hours and then charge the employer for overtime. In one organisation the morals were to protect (at all costs) the organisations staff. Lying was encouraged if that was required. Tribalistic societies will often have these type of morals instilled, where the survival of the tribe is all important. Often morals are shaped by culture or tradition more than by reality and fact.
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Part of my work required me to be trained in forensics. I was absolutely appalled at an organisational aspect of criminal activity when exposed to a meeting in which a “rah rah” session was held, equivalent to any Tupperware sales meeting. The terms “rob” and “murder” were not used. Instead it was bring in the work, bring in the money, and meet your deadlines. These meetings were held every Monday morning. In this particular organisation, the families of all the workers were protected if they died doing their jobs. There were degreed persons, psychologists and accountants working in this organisation, which was run with sound business principles except for the product, it was a sound business model. |
Morals can be said to be elastic and a product of our upbringing, while ethical principles are rules driven and often have to be trained to give a standard of ethical conduct in a community.
Now you understand why you believe what you believe- let us look at how you can believe.
Christians, Jews, and Muslims believe in a personal God (male) who has revealed himself to mankind. Buddhists and Hindus believe God is impersonal and unknowable. Christianity believes that God reached out to man to save him because man was helpless to save himself. Some religions require sacrifice, the practice of certain actions and even the infliction of pain upon a believer, in order to become holy in the sight of God. Are they all right, or are they all wrong? I have absolutely no idea of the answer after years of searching most the religions of the world. That not knowing, makes me happy, because I can believe in a creator who is greater than my human understanding. I would feel very worried if I could understand someone who can create universes with my limited brainpower. However everyone is different and that is really okay. The amount of time or energy spent with a church is up to the individual.
Whether it is the church of the flying spaghetti monster or a beautiful mosque- finding a church or place of worship to use to give your self-comfort, it is a wonderful way to feel safe and prepare for life’s knocks and the ultimate journey we all must take. Often this place of worship can become a full function area for the retiree to exist in. Most belief structures are, fortunately, non-violent and believe in ethical behaviour by caring for the society in which they exist. Providing that does not lead to outright paternalism, I think this is admirable.
Paternalism, is where you believe you know better than the other person and as such are entitled to change their life style. Taken to extremes we can state paternalism led to slavery. Those slave owners will tell you that the slaves had a better life under them, justified by the fact they gave them a religion, a roof over their heads and better clothes.
Governments have paternalism inherent in their ability to govern. A law telling you to wear a seat belt is paternalistic in nature. In my personal universe no person has the right to limit another’s behaviour unless it is in the public good. Any infringement on the personal freedom and autonomy of a person needs to have a justified argument of how it will improve or protect society as a whole. This belief explains why I do not do “religion” in its true sense. Acceptance of people is crucial to our spiritual growth. How do you determine the correct belief structure for yourself and others?
These are the guidelines I have used for my family.
If the belief structure looks down on any part of society or even worse, expects people to conform or they are harshly judged, well I would suggest you re-evaluate, because the chances are you are wrong. True spiritual growth comes from a love within given to others. True love gives you understanding and a willingness to cross over to the other person’s belief (not necessarily to believe in it) in order to help them become the best they can be for themselves and society. I have learned it is only when you understand the other person’s belief that you can understand the motivation for their behaviour. Even atheists believe in nothing, which is a belief. Some people are locked in a perpetual struggle to find a belief. For example the agonistic, is locked in a battle to find meaning and reasons. For many people nature is the place of worship, and when I look at a flower and the beauty our creator has blessed us with, I totally agree with them. Certainly I believe walking on grass makes me more spiritual and grounds me.
If there is one thing I have discovered in my life, it is that no man’s book is the right one for finding their God, they are all just road signs on the path of life.
From austere suffering to imbibing strange substances- spiritual retreats have been known to mankind since- we became mankind! Yoga, exercise, meditation and spiritual retreats to get in touch with the inner you, can greatly improve your quality of life. Sometimes the brain just needs to shut down and rest from everyday affairs. My family is very involved in meditation. It brings us great comfort especially when life gets hectic and we have to deal with rampant emotions. Naturally as a hypnotherapist I believe it is essential to find that peace within. A spiritual retreat may well be the place to find peace.
Personally I find my personal renewal gets done better with a good hot stone massage and a glass of wine, rather than fasting and taking odd tasting substances, but explore your spirituality and enjoy the trip.