Dear Devil: Confessions of A Christian Sex Addict by Christian Jacob - HTML preview

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GILROY

 

5 January 2020

Dear Devil

Jesus wept! Up to this day I don’t know how you got to my brother and corrupted his mind until he became your loyal servant. Gilroy was an upright young man in his early teens. His passion and knowledge for philosophy, Greek poetry and Catholicism was amazing. At the age of eleven he was already an altar boy. By the time he celebrated his fourteenth birthday he knew all the prayers in the Roman Catholic liturgical guide and Catechism by heart! At the age of sixteen he became the chairman of the youth Sacred Heart of Jesus guild at Archdiocese level, something that was undreamed-of to be achieved by someone of his age. 

He went to the Vatican City three times before he was even sixteen, courtesy of the Catholic Priests who were grooming him to join them. Up to this day, he still has numerous photographs of him with the Pope and many other powerful cardinals of the time. A natural born leader, he was so influential among his friends, a group of five boys, that when he turned twenty and decided to go to the seminary, all his friends followed him except for Agiel. Agiel was your ‘twin brother.’ Agiel was a Christian on Sunday and a heathen from Monday to the early hours of Sunday. He was a few months older than my brother and four years older than me. Just like you, he was the most dangerous person to be around- genuinely witty but cunning. He was that kind of a boy who knew how to convince anybody he rubbed shoulders with to do what he wanted. He was light in complexion, tall, skinny, and had these small cat like eyes which gave him that innocent yet demonic look, so warm and devilish. 

Apart from studying Social Work at Bindura University of Science and Education, he was a talented songwriter, recording artiste and record producer. It’s sad how you frustrated his every effort to make it into the mainstream music industry. Personally, I still believe he was one of the few extremely talented and creative souls who ever graced our country. It’s a shame how corruption, nepotism and monopolism at the radio stations by Dj’s and Librarians robbed us of this creative genius and threw him into oblivion. I remember the lyrics in one of his songs, Come Back, which I recently used in a letter that I wrote to Tatenda asking for a second chance;

It’s not easy to let go,

Even the devil won’t give up so easily.

Demons fight to win some souls

I will fight for you.

Such was his talent in song writing and poetry. Three times he went with his albums to the radio stations; three times both the radio Dj’s and Librarians took his music and art for granted and denied him the chance to be heard on radio. He resorted to bribery, and bought a few Dj’s cases of beer. What did they do for him in return? Absolutely nothing. Not a single day did they play any of his songs on the radio; not a single day did they offer to help him with any ideas to improve his art, just in case he was missing on something. “Your music is too international. No one will listen to it down here.” This is the ‘best’ feedback he ever received from the people he bought cases of beer, for almost a year. He was heartbroken. You once offered him a chance to give you his soul in exchange for fame and riches. He refused. His reason was that he believed God is the only one who gives fame and riches that come with peace and happiness. Despite the fact that he had doubts about God and a concealed anger towards him, he made it so clear to you that he was waiting on God’s time to have that breakthrough he desired. You lost. However, it was those deep seated doubts and that concealed anger he had towards God that you capitalised on and made him your brother. Your twin brother.