Chapter Four:
Things Get Heated
***Raheim Starz***
Having to look over my shoulder all the time was getting old real fast as I weaved through busy Saturday afternoon traffic in my rented Nissan Altima. Searching through the streets for a silver Infinity, as I headed over to my boy Dre’s spot on Woodland Ave, made me feel off my game.
I hit up Dre before I parked so I wouldn’t have to spend time on the porch. Before I could lift my hand to the door, crazy ass Candy was there holding it open.
“Hey sexy,” she smiled at me like I was something good to eat.
“Hey, where Dre?” I walked by her, being sure not to touch her, on my way in.
“He’s upstairs; you need another red light Candy special?” Her words meant nothing to me at this point.
“No thanks, my arm is still fucked up where you bit me.” I headed for the staircase, not turning to see her rolling her eyes. Chuck stood at the top of the stairs with his Glock 23 clearly visible under his shirt.
“Dre waiting for you in the back,” he said as he nodded his head in the direction of the back room. I guess he was supposed to be security.
I tapped on the door twice before opening. It was like entering into a man cave/security booth. He had about ten 13-inch TV’s filling the walls, feeding him images of each section of the house. There was one 52’ inch TV resting in a large entertainment center, blasting a college basketball game. Dre sat in a black lay Z boy with his feet propped up.
“Hey Rah, I was just talking to my man’s about you,” Dre never took his eyes off the game.
“Well what did he have to say?”
“He said the streets wasn’t talking, he hadn’t heard anything, but would keep an eye out,” came his apologetic tone over his shoulder.
I couldn’t believe I would have to walk around paranoid until someone found out something.
“You sure it’s not one of those chicken heads you screwed around with?” Dre continued, “I keep telling you to stop fucking with fifty broads. Keep one ride or die and you have only one problem.”
Maybe he was right. Having to many women to keep track of was a hassle. You never knew if two or more of them knew each other. If one of them saw me out with someone else, they could’ve pitched a fit, leaving me windowless. Whoever it was, I knew I’d have to find her and fast.
***Felicia***
It’d been a few days since I’d last seen Raheim. I felt bad for kicking him out but I couldn’t have him bringing all of his girl drama to my house right now. I especially didn’t feel like hearing about another damned woman being scorned. After work I stopped to pick up a pregnancy test, regretting that decision as I stood in front of my bathroom doorway. The lump in my throat wouldn’t go away no matter how hard I swallowed. It was now or never. I hyped myself up to pee on the stick that would determine my fate. If it came back negative I would go out for a drink, but if it came back positive I would most likely find myself passed out on the bathroom floor. I closed my eyes and counted to three, refusing to look at the stick until after I changed my clothes and ate dinner. I tried hard to swallow my baked chicken and mashed potatoes from last night’s leftovers.
“Why are you tripping? You’re not pregnant and you’re gassing your head up for nothing?” I spoke aloud to myself, thinking maybe if I heard the words, it would somehow make them true. When I couldn’t pretend any longer, I did a slow death walk to the bathroom. The white stick sat on the sink, daring me to look. Before I could find an excuse to run out of that bathroom, I lifted the stick to see the pink positive sign glaring back at me. I was pregnant and it was final. No more guessing, pretending or ignoring the fact that my stomach was getting tighter and my breasts were getting larger.
“Shit!!!” I screamed to no one and everyone. I wanted to be happy, I wanted to act like I was going to be ok, doing everything on my own, but most importantly, I wanted to cry for being so damned stupid.
***Janet Starz***
I tried to find a quiet place to read the letter Amir had just sent. My cellmate was talking with a group of girls in our room, so that was out of the question. I found an empty chair in the library and looked around before taking a seat. There were a few shady bitches in here that hated the idea of someone else getting mail. I was happy to see that he put a few dollars on my commissary, so I wouldn’t have to worry this month like the rest of these broads. In his letter, Amir said he gave my letters to Raheim and that he wasn’t that thrilled to receive them. I knew that much, his ass was just like his dad, so it would take a moment for him to come around. I tried not to cry when I read that he was praying for me. Sons aren’t supposed to pray for their mamas.
I would do anything to go home again. Even kiss Raheim’s spoiled ass until he helped out. Amir was loyal and that’s why I had a soft spot for him. I couldn’t help but favor him; especially with how much attention he gave me when I was first sentenced to this hellhole. He wrote me letters and sent me his allowance money. I had to tell him to be careful not to let Sadie know what he was doing or she’d put an instant stop to it.
Sadie ran a tight ship and wouldn’t even let my mom and dad see the boys for almost four years, until my mom went around to her house crying in the streets saying she was sorry for what I did. Carlos was her baby brother and she never liked me from jump, but I didn’t care. For a moment, I was the hottest bitch on the block. I had the best clothes, the finest dude and rode in the hottest cars. Carlos gave me everything— until I gave him his kids. Then I was nobody, a toy to be played with on a whim, and thrown away when he was done.
Well not me, I had to teach him that I wasn’t a joke and that he couldn’t play around with my kids like that. Where was Sadie when her brother was promising to come and visit the boys? Where was she when he said he didn’t care if we had food to eat? His pretty ass needed someone to give him a wakeup call and I was just the one to do it.
I eased out of my chair and walked back to my cell. There were about five chicks standing around talking about who was visiting who next week. I had better things to think about, like getting out of here before I went crazy. I didn’t pretend to like any of my cellmate’s friends; they were all back stabbers and loved drama, real or imagined. I walked over to my small metal desk and picked up my notebook and pencil.
“What? You don’t speak?” It was always the same brown-skinned chick with a short kinky Afro that had to comment.
“My lips ain’t move did they?” She was too young to be on my level and I knew she was itching to get a name for herself. What she didn’t know was that I already branded myself and everyone else in here knew it. I didn’t back down from nobody and I damn sure didn’t show anybody fear.
“Hey Nikki, chill I don’t feel like the heat coming in here today,” Carla calmed her girl down and I left the small room to head back to the library. Being behind bars turned many a weak mind into animals. Only the strong survive and I was going to make sure I was the last one standing.
***Raheim Starz***
When I got home I didn’t check my messages, even though my phone was blinking. I had already left a message with my landlord letting her know I was considering moving out. Whoever was after me knew where I lived, which was unacceptable to say the least. I needed to get away and fast. Before I could change my mind I picked up my phone and called Felicia’s number. It rang five times before I heard her voice on the other end. Without thinking I closed my eyes at the sound of her voice. With all of this crazy shit happening around me, she was the only person I knew who made me see clearly.
“Hey Felicia, I need to ask you a question.”
“Raheim? You’re the only person I know who calls to ask questions after not speaking for weeks,” she snapped, sounding happy like she had a smile on her face.
“Well, you abandoned me remember? I’m still back at the last night we spent together,” I told her and she became quiet almost like she hit the mute button.
“Felicia, why you switching shit up on me? You’ve been ducking and weaving for over a month and a half now. Avoiding the hell outta me and I want to know why?”
“Raheim I know that’s not what you called here for? I’ve been busy and we’re not in a relationship. Sorry if I broke the mold, if I want more than what the hell you tryna give.”
“What I’m tryna give? Yo where is all of this coming from? Am I in the fucking twilight zone or some shit?” I couldn’t believe I was calling to ask her to take a trip and as crazy as she was acting I was tempted to change my mind, but I wanted to see her.
“You’re right, we’re not in a relationship and I’m sorry for coming at you all crazy, but that’s not why I’m calling. I wanted to know if you would be up for a trip to Jamaica.”
“Boy, Jamaica what is wrong with you? I have to work and my bills don’t pay themselves,” she laughed it off, but I could hear the hesitation in her voice.
“How about this, you come with me and I got you. Don’t worry about your bills, your rent none of that shit.” I knew that I would beg if she didn’t say yes.
“I can’t, what about my job? I can’t just leave. I have to get approved for vacation time.”
“I need you Felicia, I’ve never needed anybody and right now I need you. I will pay your bills for a year if you say yes, but I need you to spend this time.” If she said no it would drive me crazy.
“If you’re serious then I’ll go, but I don’t have a passport.”
“Well you have two weeks to get one, I’ll call you back to let you know when we’re leaving, don’t worry about packing cause you can get all new shit,” I hung up feeling on top of the world. Finally, I would see her again.
***Felicia***
I didn’t know what type of trouble he was in, but it must be serious if he was offering to pay my bills, let alone for a year. In all of the time I’ve known him, he has never offered to do anything more than buy my food or take me out. Except for the occasional gift or two. I called my friend Chanel hoping she could give me some much needed advice.
“Yo, Chanel, you won’t believe what just happened, Raheim just called asking me to go to Jamaica!” The words rushed from my mouth like running water.
“WHAT! Girl, I know your ass said yes. Right?”
“Yeah, I’m going,” I said and she screamed into the receiver making me regret telling her.
“Yo, I knew his ass couldn’t stay away from you. You two are made for each other. Well, while you out getting your groove back,” she continued, “tell that nigga to put a ring on it!” In spite of how I felt I couldn’t help but laugh along with her. Chanel was my closest friend and she always knew what to say to either piss me off or make my day. Today was a good day. I wasn’t sure what I needed to do to get my passport, but the Internet was my first move.
***Raheim Starz***
Amir wanted to meet at Denny’s, said he had something important he wanted to discuss. I knew that his definition of important was either bible study or his mom, and the only thing I was willing to hear was how the Lord could save me from this drama. A few heads turned when we walked in. I noticed how a few of the girls threw glances over in our direction. I wasn’t fazed about any of it at the moment, not until I knew who had it in for me.
“So what’s up?” Amir started off like I’m the one who called this meeting.
“You tell me, give me the short version because I don’t have all day,” I replied. I hated being rude, but also hated feeling like he was about to set me up.
“I wanted to talk about your-” His sentence was cut off by a cute waitress holding two menus and a smile.
“Sorry to interrupt, but would you like anything to drink to get you started?” Her eyes darted back and forth and I knew she was asking herself who looked better. Amir asked for what he always asked for.
“A glass of ice water please.” I ordered orange juice; she sat the menus down, and walked in the direction of the kitchen.
“You know, it’s no secret that our mom wants to talk to you.” He started the conversation.
“Tell me why I am supposed to care about what she wants again?”
“Raheim you really need to grow up, she is still your mom whether you like it or not and she at least needs to be given a chance,” Amir huffed and stared me down again, which always pissed me off when he talked about Janet.
“I’m tired of having this same dumb ass conversation, so let’s change the subject before it makes me angry.” I felt my blood boiling and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to control my temper.
“Cool, but wanted you to know that I’m going up to visit her this Wednesday, and if you’re in, you can meet me at the bus station near Frankford.”
I no longer felt hungry.
“Listen, because this is the last time you will hear me say it. I don’t care about Janet, about visiting her sorry ass in prison and she can stay there until the day her ass dies. She has you psyched up believing she killed him for us. She did that shit for her damn self. She couldn’t stand being left behind, thrown away and granted his ass was just as trifling, but she made the decision to open her legs and make babies. She wanted to trap his ass and when that shit ain’t work, she went crazy. I see through her bullshit whether you ever choose to or not.” I saw the tears building up in the corners of Amir’s eyes and I tried not to feel bad. I didn’t want to transfer my anger on to him, but he keeps trying to get me to forgive her. As far as I’m concerned, Janet Starz is an illusion, an egg donor who no longer exists. The sooner my brother realizes that the happier we both will be.
Amir’s fist clinched and before I could do anything he swung at my face landing a
strong right hand to my eye.
“Yo, what the fuck?” Within moments he was across the table giving me blow after blow. I could no longer see my brother, but a man who deserved to get his ass beat. I jumped up from my seat and drove into the side of his head with a punch so hard my knuckles hurt. His knees buckled and he collapsed on the floor. People were screaming and pushing each other out of the way. The Denny’s manager a short, stocky lady with acne scars started shouting for us to leave. I grabbed Amir by his forearm and dragged him to my rental car.
“Get in! Yo get the fuck in before somebody call the police!” I rushed to the driver side and sped off before one of the nosy people standing in the door got the bright idea to call the cops.
“What is wrong with you?” I yelled at him.
“You keep disrespecting my mom and I swear I will hurt you Raheim!” He spoke like a true thug.
“Oh now Mr. Holy wants to fuck somebody up. Let me explain something to your young ass. I’m not pushing Janet down your throat- it’s you! I say leave it alone, you still forcing me to swallow it. So how about this, don’t talk to me about her ass again. I don’t care and probably never will, and if your dumb-ass gets the bright idea to swing on me again, you better make sure you knock me out.”
A part of me felt proud of my little brother, this was his first fight and in spite of the blaring pain in the back of my eyelid I thought he did pretty good.
“Why you ain’t never tell me you had a mean right hand?” I asked like a proud father.
“Because you never asked,” he stared out the window and we rode the rest of the way in silence.