Chapter Five:
Just Getting Started
Everyone in my man’s crew sat around my living room table. They were all itching to pay that pretty nigga back.
“Listen, I don’t need anyone else to handle this, but me. I want to teach him a lesson that he will never forget.” I looked over at Drake, his face was still wired up and he already lost about ten pounds since the incident.
“Yo, while you thinking up a strategy that muthafucka is acting like he invincible,” Ray said angrily.
“I want him to get comfortable so I can attack when he least expect it. I got this.” Drake started writing on his legal pad. Everybody stopped to watch; whatever Drake said would be how it went down. He flipped the tablet for everyone to see.
Let my baby do it her way, when she needs help
Y’all niggas swoop in and take that nigga out
Everyone nodded in agreement and it was final. They had to give me respect and I was determined to make him pay. I already had him shook and that’s exactly where I wanted him. I needed to move at a pace that would allow him to almost forget. So it’s cool that he’s starting to get comfortable. My next move was already in motion and I couldn’t wait to get it started. My girl Pam told me he had a little brother and I already had plans for him. Soon I was gonna have Pam attend his church to get close to his brother making sure she sat close enough for him to take notice.
“Jackie? You sure you got this?” Ray asked more aggressively.
“Yeah I’m sure; y’all need to stop underestimating me. His ass is already shook and I know where he lay his head at night.” I didn’t want Ray and his crazy ass friends to handle anything because they were all trigger-happy. The last thing I needed was to have a sloppy job land me in prison for murder. I walked everybody to the door so I could take care of my man.
***Raheim Starz***
I lay in my bed staring up at the ceiling, frustrated that I couldn’t sleep. It was Wednesday and despite how much I wanted to forget about Amir going up to the prison I couldn’t. Though I try to show the world my tough guy demeanor Janet hurt me. Not because she killed my father, but because she threw me away like I didn’t mean shit to her. I felt like a pawn in her wicked game and when things didn’t go her way she tossed me to the side with no hesitation. I forced myself to change my thoughts before my attitude changed.
Felicia called earlier to let me know she had already submitted her application for her passport. I was happy as hell that I would be out of the country in a few days. A month of relaxation would be enough time to let things blow over. I still didn’t know who the crazy broad in the silver Infinity was but she hasn’t struck again so I guess she was happy with busting out my windows.
Not seeing any of my regular girls has put a huge hole in my social life and has my phone blowing up 24/7. I think it’s about that time to get a new number anyway. Get a new arsenal of ladies, but this time I would be damn sure to do a pre-screening first. I pulled myself out of bed and took a quick shower. I had some business to take care of with Maya and Alexis before I went off to sunny Jamaica. Janet’s letters fell out of the closet when I reached in to get a pair of my Roca Wear jeans. I only read the one letter from Janet, but there were two left unopened. I didn’t feel like the drama, so I tossed them both back on the top shelf of my closet. Sure they would be there until I had enough courage to open them or throw them in the trash.
***Janet Starz***
I haven’t seen Amir for a few months and I was extremely excited. He told me he was going to ask Raheim to come today and since I didn’t hear anything I assumed he was successful. I shampooed my hair and had Carla braid it into two Indian braids. I tried my best to appear apologetic and vulnerable because I needed Raheim to get sucked into helping me out of this hellhole. My C.O came to the cell to inform me that I had a visitor. I knew she was going to have to handcuff my wrists and ankles before we walked off the block and through the adjacent building into the visiting room. I put my arms out without her asking and for the first time since I’ve been here, I didn’t mind the cold metal touching my skin. A lot of the bitches stopped talking when I walked by, which made me think they were talking about me. I kept looking straight ahead, because today I didn’t give a fuck about none of their raggedy asses.
My heartbeat picked up as we got closer to the visiting area. I could see the door that read off the rules
No Touching
No Loud Talking
& No Kissing
I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm down before we reached the door. My C.O went through her usual check.
“Open your mouth, shake your head and remove your shoes.” She slid her hands up and down my inner and outer thighs, turned my shoes upside down and shook them before allowing me to put them back on. Once she gave me the go ahead she unlocked the cuffs and opened the visiting door. I saw Amir standing alone and my heart sank. His eyes were saying sorry and then I became angry, but stuffed the emotion down into the pit of my stomach. I didn’t want him to feel like I was ungrateful for his visit. In spite of the sign I gave him a quick hug and we sat down at the orange round table.
“I told him I was coming today but he didn’t want to hear it,” Amir said.
“No, no it’s cool, I’m happy to see you here,” I said, giving him a reassuring smile even though I was pissed. Who the fuck does Raheim think he is? I gave him life and he thinks he can keep giving me his ass to kiss. Amir went on and on about his schoolwork and what he was doing now. He didn’t want to answer me when I asked about the light bruise around his temple. Finally he admitted that he had a fight, but didn’t want to tell me who with. It didn’t take much time for me to guess. I needed to step up my game and play my hand a little better. Pleading for Raheim’s sympathy was the wrong approach I needed to take it back to his level. The three-hour visit was over before I could blink and before I knew it, the loudspeaker was announcing visiting hours were coming to an end.
“I will keep trying for you Mom. Raheim is still upset but I think he’ll come around,” Amir looked me in my face and told me a lie. His brother wasn’t going to come around, because he was just like Carlos. He held on to a grudge and did what he wanted to do. I went back to my cell with a long face.
“So, what happened? Did he show up?” Carla was waiting for the juice, but I didn’t feel like her and all of her 50 questions. I kicked off my shoes and flopped on my thin mattress, turning my back to face her and tried to go to sleep. I needed a new strategy, because waiting until he came around would be like waiting for hell to freeze over.
A few hours had passed since my visit but I still didn’t feel like leaving my cell. I couldn’t believe I was this upset about something I already knew might not happen anyway. I rethought about the letters I sent him and what I could have added that may have changed his mind. I should have told him that I wish I could take it all back. Either way I started feeling the concrete walls closing in around me. I would be here for the rest of my life and it was finally sinking in. My parents didn’t have any money and Amir was in school so he couldn’t help me with a good lawyer. Two girls that knew Raheim before they were put on lock down let me know that he drove around in an Expedition, wore the freshest gear and didn’t mind spending a few dollars when necessary.
“Lights out!” the C.O shouted after our last head count and I was more than glad to be in silence. The constant chatter during the day could be deafening.
The next morning, the sunlight from the common area lit my small cell and metal clanking against metal as the rude ass correctional officers struck the bars with their nightsticks. I jumped out of bed, more from frustration than anything else, waiting for them to do another count. Carla stood beside me wiping the sleep from her eyes. I was so over this bullshit, being told what to do and when all damn day was enough to drive any sane person crazy.
“So I guess he didn’t show up huh? Carla asked with a questioning tone.
“No bitch, now what? Whatever you have to say about it hurry up so I can get on with my day!” I snapped, turning to look her in the eye as I spoke.
“Damn Janet, nobody gone bust your balls for wanting to see your son. Calm your ass down. I’m just asking cause I know how excited you were, whether your ass want to admit or not.” She was right, a part of me wanted to see Raheim. I haven’t seen him since he was 11 years old, but I need to stop fucking dreaming and come back to the real world.”
“It’ll be time for breakfast in a minute so you better brush your teeth,” I changed the subject and lie back on my bed. I didn’t feel like eating another dry ass breakfast of cereal, a banana and a glass of orange juice.
I skipped breakfast because I needed to work on a new strategy, something completely different from what I’ve been doing. Right when I was ready to set pencil to paper my C.O came to let me know I had a visitor.
“I’m not expecting anybody,” I told her.
“Well, I’m not your damn messenger, you have ten minutes to get yourself together,” she walked away with her keys smacking loudly against her hips. It could only be one thing, bad news. No one ever visits without telling me first especially on a weekday. I only hoped nothing happened to my mom, she looked pretty sick the last time she was here. She tried to fake it like everything was fine. But she looked old and had a head full of salt and pepper hair. I wouldn’t be able to take it if something happened to her while I was in here.
I quickly dressed and washed my face again. I didn’t care that my hair was a bit messed up from sleeping on it and my eyes were a bit puffy. My C.O came back and placed the cuffs back around my wrists and ankles, only this time, I hated the hard metal pressing into my flesh. I walked the same corridor from yesterday, only today, I felt like it was leading me to my own funeral. I dreaded seeing my father or aunt there to tell me my mother had passed away. Every scenario that could play in my head did and I reread the same set of rules while my C.O unlocked my wrists and told me to, “Open your mouth, shake your head and remove your shoes.” I did all three with my heart beating fast and hard. Finally she opened the visiting room doors and I hesitated a moment before walking through.
My eyes scanned the room before resting on a tall figure with their back toward me. I didn’t recognize this person and figured they must have the wrong inmate. Just when I turned to look at the guard’s booth the man turned around, causing my breath to catch in my throat.
“Carlos?” I whispered quietly, my eyes squinted in disbelief. He didn’t move only stared at me with his beautiful green eyes. I walked over to him like a lamb being led to the slaughter.
“Raheim?” I asked barely above a whisper before I dropped in the chair in front of the orange round visiting table. My legs couldn’t support my body; he stood over me for a brief moment before sitting in front of me. My heart raced and my head started pounding.
We both stared at each other in silence for five minutes. I couldn’t believe how much he looked like Carlos, how manly he looked. Everything I planned on saying flew out of the window and a lump took its place in my throat. Before I could prevent myself, my eyes began to water and the tears flowed like a river. I put my face in my hands and cried for every sin I ever committed. Through blurred tears I watched a range of emotions cross Raheim’s face. He went from confusion, anger, disbelief and finally grief as he watched me cry. I tried to compose myself before the guards came to cut our meeting short.
“I wasn’t expecting you to come.” I said barely above a whisper.
“I didn’t plan on coming here either, but I have some questions that I need to have answered.” I knew this would happen and I just prayed I would have the right answers he needed especially since my whole life depended on it.
“Ok.”
“Why did you do it?” His voice cracked and for a moment I thought he would break down, but he didn’t.
“My letters explained why-” he cut me off before I could get to the end of my explanation.
“Fuck your letters, I want to know how can you kick your kid out of the house and never look back?” The look of anger and pain spread across his face.
I really didn’t have an explanation, but I would have to give him one.
“I was hurting at the time and I couldn’t think clearly Raheim. I swear I wish I could take it back because I would.”
“You know what is real fucked up? Your ass didn’t think about nobody but yourself. You said to hell with being a mom and killed a nigga you already knew was no good. You fucking left me and Amir like you was on some ole’ hero shit, like we supposed to be proud of your ass or something.” His words were pure venom, lethal and deadly.
I was speechless and his words stung, but I took it. He had a right to vent and I would give him that much.
“Do you know what it’s like to have what you’ve always wanted placed before you then to have it snatched from you within a moment’s notice? Do you know what it’s like to look two little kids in the face who didn’t deserve the life you created for them? Before you go off judging me you may want to live in my shoes.” His face twisted into a look of disbelief.
“Live in your shoes huh? Well are those the same damn shoes that walked me to my aunt’s house seven hours away? Or how about the same shoes that left you mother and fatherless, tell me something Janet did you really want kids or did you think we would help you hold onto your man?”
As much as I wanted to give him a chance to express himself, I couldn’t tolerate the disrespect.
“Wait a minute Raheim, You don’t have to like me, but you will at least talk to me like you got some damn sense. I loved your father more than the air I breathed and I couldn’t have him thinking it was ok to treat me or my kids like we ain’t mean shit.” My voice elevated with each word.
“Do you know how fucking low you made me feel? I don’t give a damn about Carlos or what the fuck he did to you, but I didn’t do shit and had to pay for it. You know what? I’m out; I should have never come here in the first place.” He moved his chair back like he was ready to leave. My heart beat quickened knowing that this was my only chance to change his mind.
“Wait! Listen, I know what I did was wrong but I made you leave to protect you!” At that moment I stopped caring about the nosy broads sitting in the chair a few tables over. Many of them were ear hustling and a few were staring lustfully at my oldest son. I didn’t have time to gloat or even feel good. I needed him to pick up what I was putting down.
“Protect me from who?”
“ME!” I shouted. One of the C.O’s tapped his nightstick against the table, indicating I was breaking one of the rules. For a moment there was silence and I never felt more like hiding under a rock than in this moment. His green eyes studied my face like he was making a mental picture. This was it and I knew he would never come back. He had his answers, whether he wanted to hear them or not. Now I would be left with all of the hurt to dwell on for the rest of my life. He took a deep breath and stood up. An officer came over to the table and he let him know he wanted to leave.
I felt rage building up inside of me and before I knew it I was screaming at him.
“You selfish bastard, why the fuck would you come here to torture me?” Two correctional officers rushed over grabbing me by the arms.
“Why the fuck did you come? YOU act just like your FATHER.” I felt my feet kicked from under me and my face hit the cold, hard linoleum floors as they cuffed me.
“Wait, Your HURTING ME!” I shouted to the officer with his knee in my back.
“Calm down Ms. Starz,” someone said. Another C.O. made the other inmates line up against the wall with their hands on their heads in the midst of my commotion. Raheim turned to look at me, shaking his head, before he was escorted out of the building and it was just like watching Carlos’ smug ass laugh at me all over again.
***Raheim Starz***
I used to think people who said they needed closure were a bunch of sucka’s. But after leaving Janet’s crazy ass back in the visiting room, I realized it was important. I needed to ask her that question face to face, so I could see her answer. I almost felt sorry for her- until I saw her acting all crazy. I didn’t mean shit to her and I needed to come to grips with that. I didn’t tell Amir I was coming because I wanted to talk to her on my own. I didn’t need him there when I said what I had to say. When I reached my rental in the prison parking lot I sat behind the wheel for a few minutes thinking. Unexpected tears welled in my eyes and I cried for the first time since I was a kid. I didn’t give a damn who was watching me. I thought seeing Janet would be different or that she would hug me and apologize.
“Cut the weak shit Raheim,” I shook myself, wiping my eyes with the back of my shirtsleeve. It’s time to walk away and never look back. I turned the radio on and blasted the volume; I didn’t want to think about Janet, Amir, Carlos and I damn sure didn’t want to think about the kid I used to be. I felt my cell vibrating in my pants pocket, reminding me to turn it back on. Felicia’s name popped up on the screen making me smile. I turned the volume down before answering.
“Rah?”
“Hey girl, what’s up?” I forced myself to sound happy as I headed out of the prison parking lot onto a tree-lined road.
“My passport came today. I had it expedited ‘cause I didn’t know when you wanted to leave.”
“Good, cause I swear I’m tired of Philly. Let’s leave tomorrow!” I could hear the excitement in her voice when she yelled,“OK!”
I was going to Jamaica and I could leave all of my drama back in the city streets of Philadelphia. I went back to my apartment to get a carry on bag. I told Felicia to pack light, only enough clothes for one bag to eliminate suspicion. Two black people going out of town with no luggage didn’t look right to me. I already notified Maya and Alexis that I would be away for a while. I trusted them, but knew anything could go wrong at any minute. All of my connections paid me directly and I wired funds into both girls’ accounts. There wouldn’t be any problems on my end. I made sure of that and I had enough info on each of my corporate connections to guarantee loyalty. I would have to drop off a few stacks to my aunt Sadie to keep her covered for a few weeks. After my uncle died I knew she wouldn’t be able to survive on those little ass social security checks.
Amir wasn’t talking to me and I really didn’t care, but I loved my brother so I sent him a text letting him know he could call me if he needed anything. I couldn’t wait to get on the plane to Jamaica with my girl Felicia. I swear I planned on forgetting where I came from the minute my foot hit the island. On my way to my aunt’s I decided to do a quick stop over my man Dre’s crib on Woodland Ave. The streets looked dirtier every time I drove through. Before I could knock on the door it swung open. Dre’s face softened from a death stare.
“Yo hurry up and step inside!” I looked over my shoulder when I noticed his hand touching the butt of his gun.
“What’s up? Why you so paranoid?” I asked, as Candy appeared in the doorway wearing more clothes than I’ve ever seen her in.
“Dre got some bad news yesterday and now he thinks everybody out to get him,” she smirked and walked back into the kitchen.
His two front men stood watch by the door and the windows.
“My boy Tony told me that he heard about your Expedition from a chick who knows his girl.”
My heart started racing, finally I would have a clue.
“And?”
“His girl said you may want to watch your ass. Somebody got a hit out on you and this time they coming hard.”
“Yo, what the fuck is happening? I swear this is some real twilight zone shit. I don’t know who got beef or what the hell this shit is about but it don’t matter I’m out tomorrow morning.” For a moment I saw Dre’s face change. I knew he thought I was a coward, but I didn’t give a damn, I’m not built for all this thug shit.
“Yo man I need you to be safe and call me when you get to where you’re going.” We did our usual handshake before I rolled out. This time I watched the streets more carefully; everyone was a potential suspect including the innocent looking old lady crossing the street. I bobbed in and out of traffic taking the long route to my aunt’s house. The door was unlocked like usual but this time my aunt was upstairs in her bedroom. I knocked twice before she answered.
“Amir?”
“No it’s Raheim, listen I’m going out of town for a few weeks, so I wanted to stop by with a few dollars.” She opened her bedroom door with her hair in rollers.
“Where you going?” the only time she put rollers in her hair was when she planned on going out with Ms. Val.
“My man died two years ago!” she remarked before walking back over to her vanity. I slid a thick envelope between her jewelry box and her makeup bag.
“Me and Val are going out since you need to be in my business. Where are you going, is the question!” She stopped for a moment to look at my reflection in her mirror.
“I’m taking Felicia to Jamaica; I need to get away for a bit, clear my head you know?”
“Who is Felicia? She must be something else anytime your ass is paying for a trip,” she smirked and for a moment I saw her freeze.
“What happened?” I asked hesitantly.
“Nothing you looked like your father for a minute. I’m sorry, well you enjoy yourself and be careful.” For the first time I realized that Janet took something from my aunt Sadie and that was her brother. That made me angrier, but life goes on right?
I kissed my aunt on her forehead.
“I love you and soon as I get to Jamaica you’ll be the first person I dial.”
“Listen, Raheim before you go I want you to know that I couldn’t have asked God for a better son than you, I love you, even though you ain’t taking me to Jamaica,” she tried to lighten the mood with a joke.
“Don’t worry when I come back we can go anywhere you want,” I said. She giggled and swatted me out of her room. I loved making Sadie smile, because she damn sure deserved it.
***Felicia***
Raheim insisted we sleep in a hotel close to the airport and I was too excited to argue. I slept through the four-hour flight because I knew that taking pills was out of the question. I hated airplanes and the sick feeling I felt in the pit of my stomach during takeoff almost had me ready to confess. The plane landed at the Sangster International airport in Montego Bay and I swallowed hard as nausea tried to consume me. Rah looked sexy as hell in a pair of blue jeans, an off white Giorgio Armani button down and camel colored Ferrini alligator shoes. I pretended we were an actual couple as he put his hand on the small of my back walking off the plane.
“Welcome back to de Island Mr. Starz, gud to see ya gin,” A tall, thin older Jamaican wearing plain tan khaki’s with a white stripe running down the sides and a white polo shirt reached out his hand to Raheim. “Welcome ma’am” He grabbed for my bag and started escorting us to a classic white van.
“That’s Lucius, he’s the chauffeur so if you want to go somewhere let him know,” Raheim whispered in my ear. I took a moment to take in everything around me. I’ve never been out of the country and Jamaica was always on the top of my must-do list. Green was everywhere, the tall trees seemed happier here than in the ghettos of Philadelphia. The sky seemed bluer and the birds sang louder. I just knew I was in heaven with a green-eyed angel. I took out my cell phone and started snapping pictures at everything. Chanel and Beverly would be jealous when I called later tonight. When the loud roar of the van’s engine started I stopped myself from jerking forward. In one easy movement Raheim lifted his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into him.
“I’m glad I came,” I whispered into his chest and he whispered. “I’m glad I asked” into my hair. If people could die from being too happy I was sure my time was soon to be up. Now if I can only manage to hide my pregnancy for the next few weeks we’d be all good. I thought we would be headed to a hotel or resort, but the van kept going down a long, dirt path with tall trees on each side.
“Where we goin?” I looked up at Rah with an undeniable question mark on my face.
“You’ll see, sit back and stop asking questions.” I liked surprises, but he already surpassed my expectations flying me out in first class, paying my landlord for one year’s worth of rent and promising me a new wardrobe. I was officially in heaven, surrounded by beautiful Jamaican people and accompanied by one of the world’s finest men. The road ended in front of a tall iron gate surrounded by rose bushes. It opened up to a large private villa. I had to take a deep breath and remind myself that he invited me, not as his woman, but his best girl out of many.
Full figured, brown-skinned Jamaican women, with beautiful white smiles, welcomed me to the Hanover House, a 4 bedroom, 5-bathroom mini Mansion, with large sparkling pool and large water fountains in the front garden.
“Sumting to drink ma’am?” they asked with heavy accents. I froze for a moment I forgot there would be drinks.
“Virgin Strawberry Daiquiri please, I still feel a bit sick from the plane ride,” I added for Raheim’s sake.
“I’ll take a Tallyman,” Raheim ordered and led me into the house like he’s been here a thousand times. Everything was decorated white and blue in the entryway, with large hanging plants and windows with views of the water.
“I’m glad your ass came, now you can’t run or hide,” he walked up behind me wrapping his arms around my waist. Squeezing my stomach gently, I tensed for a moment, then relaxed in his arms, praying to God I could conceal my nearly eighteen-week-old secret. So far I was carrying pretty small. Except for the small lump, you almost couldn’t tell I was pregnant. I told Chanel and Beverly the news before I got on the plane. They both started yelling and asking what Raheim said when I told him. After five minutes of trying to calm them down, I told them I was letting him know in Jamaica, which was a lie, but I liked how it sounded.
“You need to stop acting like you like me boy,” I said and turned to face him, pressing my lips into his and closed my eyes. I haven’t had sex since our last encounter and my pussy was jumping. He didn’t answer. Instead he lifted me by my waist and I wrapped my legs around his. He walked with me to the master bedroom, kissing and biting my lower lip. I felt my nipples harden and my juices begin to flow. I promised myself not to act so weak when we got here, but that promise flew out of the nearest bay window as he slid his hands under my shirt. My breathing turned into a light pant as he unfastened my bra. I was sandwiched between the wall and Raheim’s hard body as his lips pressed against my neck and collarbone.
“Damn girl, I missed you,” he whispered.
“Good, now unfasten your jeans.” I instructed. I didn’t have time for catch up conversations. I wanted to feel him inside of my wetness NOW; we had plenty of time to talk later. I felt him slide his jeans and boxers down over his hips and I knew I was about to be satisfied as his hardness eased inside of me slowly. My body tensed before I pressed down onto his greatness. In one powerful moment, we were both motionless staring into each other’s eyes. When the moment passed we were like hungry wolves feeding on our prey. He turned us both around allowing the wall to support his body. I went to work up and down on his magic stick. I loved watching his expression each time I slammed down harder and harder. I heard a light knock on the door before it opened. I immediately felt embarrassed and wanted to stop, but Raheim kissed me.
“I don’t give a damn who’s here, you’re not going anywhere,” he said and continued stroking me like a guitar, holding my waist and guiding me up and down on his dick. I tried to ignore the sound of the tray holding our drinks being placed on the table beside the bed. I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t see the pretty Jamaican girl watching us shyly as she left the room, locking the door behind her. There was something sexy about not giving a fuck that made me go hardcore. I worked my hips until we both reached our climax. I held onto his neck tightly and he kissed my shoulder as the light breeze from the window cooled our sweat-drenched bodies.
***Raheim Starz***
I couldn’t believe how long it had been since I gave it to Felicia. She moved like she missed me and that was fine with me. I’m happy she initiated, because I don’t think I could have waited until tonight. We both undressed and I watched her walk naked into the bathroom. She closed the door and seconds later the shower was running. I took this time to call my aunt Sadie. She sounded happy to hear from me and thanked me for the money I left her. She never questioned where I got my money and I never lied about having a career. I never gave her a reason to worry and her only advice was for me to be careful and always watch my back. I guess I shoulda followed those instructions a bit closer. I downed my Talley Man and changed my clothes while waiting for Felicia to come back from the bathroom. Fifteen minutes later, she came out wrapped in a towel and her hair pinned up.
“So, you’ve been here before?” she asked as I watched drops of water fall from her hair down to the middle of her tits and disappearing under the towel.
“Maybe. Why? You like it?”
“It’s aight,” she grinned and I couldn’t believe I had missed her as much as I did. This whole running for my life bit had me thinking about chillin out. I refused to end up like my dad and I looked too good to end up like Janet.
“You betta drink that before it melts. After you change, we can eat cause I’m starving,” I said and left her alone so she could get dressed. If I saw her naked again, I knew we’d never leave the room.
Felicia came down ten minutes later and met me in the kitchen. I told Nina, the chef at Hanover house, to bring our food into the dining room, giving me an opportunity to talk to Felicia for a moment. She didn’t ask questions as I led her through the kitchen doors into a long hall and then to the huge dining area filled with fresh flowers.
“Listen. On some real shit, I have to talk to you about a few things,” I started. She was the only girl I could tell about my mom and not have it thrown back up in my face. She didn’t interrupt me or try to tell me I was wrong and she never once told me I needed