A Story Narrated by an Amateur by Shivang - HTML preview

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CHAPTER 8

Utkarsh Singh had better compatibility with Mayank, though the two along with Ashish formed

the gang. He worked with a public sector bank and his life was slower and relaxed. He was back

in town and Mayank could not wait for an evening with him. Utkarsh was recently married and

his wife had immediately struck a chord with Mayank. Like all good and intelligent women, she

could feel the vibes in a man. She found Mayank a mother at heart and in very few encounters;

she looked up to him as her brother and a father-figure. He too would love to pamper her as she

had one big quality about her – she understood very well the preciousness of the innocence of

emotions and had beautiful ways of saying thanks, not with words but with her very expressive

body language.

The best part of it was her large eyes which flickered almost sixty times a minute. Even an idiot

could see the smile or pain in her eyes which were white as moon. Mayank had issued a warning

to Utkarsh that if any day, he would see even a single red strand in the immaculate white of her

eyes, he would get her divorced and marry her off to a man he would pick up for her. Utkarsh

had smiled at his threat and said he was confident that Mayank would not ever get his right man

for her and would finally return her to him.

She would be overwhelmed by the attention the two men in her life would shower on her. As the

two would fight friendly battles over her small joys, she would rush to the kitchen, pick up five

red chilies, waive them over the heads of her two men and burn them to ward off any evil which

might cast its bad eye on them. She would walk in joy and pride and it would look as if she was

dancing. Dance is a process of blossoming of love after the soul is fully soaked of it. She would

be in a perpetual state of dance and like a ballerina, would walk in air.

The two men knew, there

was a force of love in their lives that would make life difficult for God, if it had anything planned

against the two.

What Mayank appreciated most was her gracious poise which crowned her feminine charm.

Despite being in a very demanding and high-paid job, she clearly understood, money is not

served on the dining table and bread and cheese are not kept in the jewelry box. She had the

poise to ascertain the rightful place to her priorities. Reactionary practicality didn?t fix her

priorities. Womanhood is like a rose; the beauty is spontaneous and ubiquitous. She was

feminism naturally unstructured.

Ashish was awaited. Mayank had come to Utkarsh?s place even before he came back from office

and was helping her in the kitchen. Utkarsh knew Ashish would come late as he would go home

first, take his daily quota of whisky and then come to his place as he too, like Mayank did not

drink and did not allow any at his place.

“Guddi, I think we should not wait for Ashu and have our coffee. Anyway, he would not be

interested...you know that”, Utkarsh said to his wife, who was still in the kitchen as he and

Mayank relaxed in the living room.

Guddi came out of the kitchen, looked up to Mayank for his approval and as he nodded, she went

in to ready the coffee.

Ashish entered the same time the coffee came. He avoided eye contact with Guddi and sat on the

sofa farthest from the kitchen. He had brought a huge can of pineapple juice for Guddi as it was

her favorite but pushed it in Mayank?s hands to give it to her. Mayank dropped it on the center

table.

“Oye Guddi...look, Ashu has brought something for you...come here”, he said in an apparent

attempt to put him in tight spot. He knew she would understand why he wanted her to come out

of the kitchen.

“Bhaiya (brother) ... a cop does not always have to take help of a sniffer dog to get the wind of a

crime”, she said from the kitchen. “It only confirms that Ashu does not love me, or why would

he do something he knows I hate and then add to the guilt by avoiding me. ”

“Guddi, you know it is not true. I am sorry my little angel. I understand you get hurt. You are

pained because you have known me only recently. What I can do, I am an idiot ever since my

school days. A donkey is a donkey, even when age makes him a bit intelligent.”

She emerged out of the kitchen and sniffed twice standing close to Ashish.

“How much..? Did you eat something before or are you empty stomach...?”

“Only small bit Guddi...less than the coffee in the cup...I swear.”

She blinked her eyes a hundred times in protest, brought snacks from the kitchen and sat with

Mayank on the same sofa.

“Had his dad scolded Ashu like you, he too would have been a great soul”, Utkarsh teased her.

“Yes, you are right, I would have been even better than Monku”, Ashu joined him.

“Nobody can be like my brother”, she said in a clear bid to end it as she did not like comparison

of Mayank with anyone.

“And do you know what your dear brother has done?”

“Yes. I knew it from the day first that this job is no good for a person like him.”

“Guddi, this resignation is just the tip of the iceberg. Your brother has declared a war against his

editor and more than that, against the owner of the newspaper. He thinks he can change the

world. The reality is, nothing will change but he will certainly be declared mad, already is”.

Mayank smiled at Ashish?s comments and pressed the hands of Guddi hinting her not to react.

Utkarsh was only happy that Ashu had put the talk on the right track. He too wished to know

what Monk had in his mind about his resignation and life ahead.

He knew Mayank never said anything in reaction and that?s why he had to do something to give

him a start.

“Somewhere, in a book by a very famous writer, I had read some lines”, Utkarsh said. “I do not

remember it in the right sequence but what it meant to say is, every race, every art has its

hypocrisy. Every community, every nation has its own lie, which it calls its idealism. Every

creature therein breathes this lie from birth to death; lies are adapted to the mind of each race

and art. There are only a few men of genius who can break free from it through heroic moments

of crisis… It was also said that genius cannot be defined without touching the ridiculous…. ”

“Great! But I am not doing or trying to do anything with any foolishly self- important purpose of

changing anyone, let alone the whole world. Change is not person- induced proposition; it is

intrinsically environment- induced. Yes, a person at times can be a big influence on environment

and that too will be decided by a particular environment. I am anyway a common man. ”

“But Monku, we have had strong individuals in the history, who proved to be so powerful people

leaders that they could actually change the course of history. We are so fortunate that we were

born in the same century Gandhi Ji lived”, Utkarsh prompted him.

“There is no denial that personality and character of strength of individual are great factors in

history but when it comes to becoming a powerful source of effecting change, the layer which

has to accept change becomes far more important. When Gandhi Ji came back to India from

South Africa, Indian people had already accepted him as their leader. He was rather bewildered

to see the type of welcome he received. Even later, he was a reluctant leader. He was led into

situations by people who expected change from him even at a time when he was not sure what to

do and how to approach the role he had landed into. But, even in situations where leadership was

thrust upon him, he would not do things which people wanted him. He would do what his

personal convictions called him to do. He would do things what he believed was morally right

and not something which was required to change things. Things would change sometimes that is

altogether the right coincidence but not always how he wished.”

“You mean to say, Gandhi was an accidental hero; a leader by coincidence of sorts”, Ashish said.

“Individual capacity has its limits Ashu...change is a big incident in history. I say it without

offence meant for anyone that leaders are only as good as the crowd which makes them one. The

same army which made Alexander a mighty conqueror also caused his doom.

Often people now

say Gandhi Ji has lost relevance in contemporary India. Today, the Indians have different icons.

They expect different leadership, one which could bring about such changes that could make

their lives more comfortable. Leaders just fit into a role which a particular environment creates a

space for. Indians are now even changing their personal Gods, let alone their leaders. The crucial

thing to understand is that an individual can show what goodness is but it is effected only when

there is a favorable environment which ushers in people to accept and practice the goodness.”

“And you believe that environment is not favorable for you and there is not much you can

contribute, so you have resigned”, Ashish attached prompt rejoinder.

“Actually, if you could see things from a different perspective, I am doing my small bit of efforts

to create a favorable environment. However, it would be hypocrisy if I say I do not want to

change quite a few things. But I know I cannot. I do feel very strongly about a few things and if I

had a magical wand which could empower me to change the scenario in a jiffy, I would not take

an extra second in doing it. But I know, even if I do it, it would not be sustained until a majority

of people actually feel the importance and need of such changes.”

Guddi, who was listening to Mayank with rapt attention, looking all throughout in his eyes;

rushed to the kitchen and came out with a large and shining silver spoon.

She thrust it in the

hands of Mayank and said, “Assume this as your magic wand and tell us what you want to do.

The almighty above is listening to us and I am very sure, he will someday make your wish true.

If he does not; he is not my God.”

Mayank had no words, nor the resource to pay back the goodness she showered on him. His

eyes, as usual, would spill over the gratitude. Utkarsh could easily see the six oceans of

compassion in his eyes and would envy his pride that he had a life partner who was still a

billionaire of a wealth that God bequeaths to all humans at the time of their birth but they

successfully squander in the long years they learn to live and actually live smartly. He closed his

eyes in prayer of the almighty, thanking him for bestowing him such beautiful endowments like

Guddi and Mayank, even as he joined his wife?s wish to make his friend?s wishes come true.

“There are endless wishes. Every time you step out of your house, every time you speak to

someone, every time you start doing something, and a wish comes tumbling down. One life that

we get is not enough for even one wish to get fulfilled, even when we devote all our energy and

resources on it. Sometimes I really wonder; how God or nature could construct such a life

mechanism on this earth which has so many loopholes and basic problems. You wish to do away

with all of them. You actually have a tough decision to make; which one wish or desire you

should consider as the most crucial, and more than that, which one desire you can actually

contribute to and pursue to a fruitful end. You need to do a reality check on yourself.”

“Monku, let us not get bogged down by what we can do and what we cannot. A desire is

independent of resource and capacity. A wish is important not because it is considered as first

step of an attainment. It is because all wishes of heart, your pure emotions, are one of the most

beautiful things in life. Tell us about the one wish that you would desire to get fulfilled in your

lifetime”, Utkarsh prodded him.

“In my lifetime...! No..no, let us not see things this way. Anyway, it is said that success drifts

away farther, the more you make effort to get it closer. I would rather pick my wish in terms of

the larger good it involves for largest portion of humanity. Then, there is a second set of wishes

which I have picked up on the basis of my own meaningful contribution to it; that is bringing

about meaningful changes in media. My lifetime anyway is too miniscule a time frame for

anything substantial to happen.”

“Okay; ladies and gentlemen, we now present the first non-contributing wish of our good friend

and future editor-in-chief of some unfortunate newspaper”, Ashish announced, holding the silver

spoon as a microphone.

“My first wish, when I was around 12, was that people around me could speak a language which

should be respectable, decent, lovable and commensurate to the status humans enjoy in the

intellectual hierarchy of creatures of the world. Later, when I could see the larger world, this

wish became more broad-based. In all languages that we speak, there is so much abusive tongue;

such crash overtones of sexuality and habitual use of bestiality. When I was a teenager, I could

not understand why even dignified men of our society would speak such demeaning language. I

am no expert but I feel; the language like most human creations has very loud and strong

influence of sadomasochism in it. It definitely was a cruel world for early humans. The primeval

definition of gain in terms of negation of loss influenced the concept of joys defined in terms of

pains. Still, most humans think of pleasure in terms of lack of pains. The language which humans

created and used in societal conversations naturally imbibed this primeval negativity. You will

be shocked; even today, when the world is considered to be most civilized, even in high social

spheres like corporate offices, they speak a language which is nothing but shameful. In my

office, a media house, this is where language is bread and butter; even my editor and editorial

colleagues would speak a language which they cannot speak in front of their mothers and sisters,

even when they are drunk. It is very painful to see teenagers mouthing so much abusive and

sexually embedded language. The growing liking among them and pride involved in mouthing

slangs and cuss words of all languages only shockingly point at the ever-increasing

sadomasochism even in contemporary times.

“You cannot blame we Indians for that Monku. The Americans, the acclaimed leader of world?s

top civilized nations, speak far more slangs than us and the quotient of brat sexuality and

bestiality in the languages of their teenagers is many times more than us”, Ashu said.

“That is why Ashu it is my first major wish. In today?s highly connected world, people have

access to all cultures and they ape it fast, especially those whom we call our Generation Y. But

you must know that even the Americans have not lost the whole of it. The good people even in

America speak decent language. Rather, good people all over the globe speak dignified language.

The American society has lot many good things but what we ape is what we get exposed to;

through their many third-rated movies and most confused Hollywood and other pop icons. The

real America has lots of good things to make others in the world learn from them. It is not their

problem that we Indians or for that matter anyone else see and ape only the negatives of their

pop-culture, which is just one aspect of their brilliant society and economy.

“This is the worst problem USA faces today. America is being perceived and imaged by the

whole world through a media which so badly represents its socio-cultural reality. This bad

media, like all media anywhere in this world is interested in showing only the pop and grey

glamour of a minority chunk which do not truly represent America. This makes more enemies

for the country and creates confused friends,” Utkarsh said.

“Confusion is the definitive reality of 21st century. One thing which defines all of us across the

globe is confusion”, Ashish said making a face as serious as he could.

“You may be right Ashu but in India, out of this chaos and confusion, a beautiful and very

prospective energy is being engendered, which we can say gives us hopes for a better society and

culture. We are witnessing a great but very silent revolution in our society. Most revolutions are

boisterous, built in frenzy, hold oceans of negativity and that?s why often demand huge amount

of human blood. The revolution, I am seeing as building in India is slow but full of strong intent

and it has little energy upfront but in the middle; a positive sign. If it rises above the negativity, it

has the potential of bringing about a sustained and major change in our society in the right

direction.”

Guddi had gone in the kitchen and had brought the pineapple juice in large glasses. Mayank

looked at her and asked her to sit by his side. He held her hand in his and rubbed it gently.

“Guddi, you and millions of women like you are the hope and future of India and in the entire

globe. This I say with complete sense of responsibility. I am happy and I see a great hope in the

strongly rooted trend among average Indian women who are definitively holding the potential for

a better society in future. Thankfully, it is not as fiercely reactive, as it was made to happen in

America and Europe. Secondly, it is not competing with men for space in their world of stupid

supremacy but building its own alternative identity. This will emerge in time as the basis of the

new social order in India and will have the goodness and power to change the stinking global

order built on men?s hypocrisy and sadomasochism. Initially, it is tough for women to even

survive there. If a lady joins as a journalist in my office, she will face the same abusive and

sexually explicit language from all corners. She will have two options, first to accept the

language and start speaking it to compete with the men colleagues or she would fight a lonely

battle to make her colleagues and superior change their language and speak a respectable one, at

least when she is present. The good thing in India is that majority of women are struggling and

waging a lonely and quiet resolve to change things and make the place become suitable to their

ways of life. You can see it very clearly; Ashu would have never felt apologetic if Guddi too

would drink with him and us. Men would definitely change and they are changing fast as our

women, good and very intelligent women like Guddi are standing tall and making it count that

men would have to accept the order and rules which they cherish. And, what the real Indian

women cherish is our tested and very good lifestyle and life principles. I dream for a time, even

when I am dead long ago, when women of India would make their way of life and their

perception of life principles as the general rule of society, polity and economy. ”

Guddi who was listening to what Mayank was saying with keen interest looked confused. She

could not fully understand what he said about the role of women in creating a better future which

Mayank saw coming. But she could know it for sure that Mayank reposed very high hopes on her

and women like her. She was very keen to know what woman like her was expected to

contribute.

“You said I and women like me hold future but if you ask me, I even don?t know what good or

bad I am doing and what I am supposed to do to make it count. I don?t think this feminism thing

in India even has an agenda?”

“There is a clear agenda Guddi; but you do not have to often think in terms of agenda. You do

not even have to name it as feminism. This nomenclature itself is calamitous. All you have to do

is to be a woman you are. Women have evolved in the long history of humanity as an alternative

mode of life view. This alternative model is not born out of what women decide to achieve while

competing for an equal space in the man?s world. It is rather a simple manifestation of a

woman?s own alternative view on all things in life that affects humanity.

Feminism is all about

the very essence of the female portion of the nature. The good thing about the golden future of

this model is that there is more good women in all good men of substance which they refuse to

accept and there are shades of good men in all females which they do not know how to handle.”

“And you said there is a clear agenda…”

“Oh yes, there is this agenda. We have the world divided between the burka and the bikini. The

Indian challenge is to understand the inherent conflicts and characteristics of both; the strengths and weaknesses of both and then create benchmarks of our own variety of womanhood, which

has strands of scientific modernism but useful Indian ethos is retained.

Our women have to rise

up, grow, empower themselves, but never forget that their strength and individuality is in being

the women they are. They do not have to be like men and compete against men to get their

rightful place in the men?s world. Most that glitter in men?s world is certainly not gold. The

men?s world view has not done a lot good to the humanity. If this alternative model becomes a

competitive idea, it will only add up to the stupidity which the men?s world has built up so

magnificently. There is definitely no need for that. Enough is enough. The power of this new

world order is in being different and an alternative to the men?s ways. And this difference must

traverse the path of tolerance and persuasiveness; never reactiveness.”

Guddi still did not look convinced. It was clear that she wanted a simpler and direct

interpretation of what Mayank was telling all about. Mayank could feel it but he could not help.

He knew, like Guddi, most women globally perceived feminism as something big and complex

and that?s why they failed to accept that it is as simple and direct as being a true woman.

Feminism is in being than in doing. All goodness is in being, not doing.

Women, used to

accepting the male world view of actionable accomplishments, are reluctant to accept that

feminism is achieved just by doing nothing but being what they are.

Ashish was watching her face and his mischievous self grabbed a chance. He never left a chance

to tease Guddi. He enjoyed when she would reproach him for that. He loved the way she

commanded him and chided him to see the reason. Most men have this stupid habit of deriving

pleasure from women that way. Men actually love being mothered and commanded in a kiddish

way by their women till their last breath.

“Monku, I really think you are taking it quite far stretched than it really fits the bill”, Ashish said

in his usual matter of fact mannerism. “Okay, nice with your support and favor for women and I

am saying this with lots of respect to Guddi and other women. But, I think your theory of a world

order based on women-centric ideas as a successful alternative to the current one, what you call

the male-order, looks quite long drawn one. I say it with the risk of sounding stupid but I must

say that you are still young and in your age, most things look beautiful, especially the women.

Your youthfulness, besotted with the attraction for the opposite gender makes you see all things

beautiful in females and their priorities. All young men are feminists; like all teenagers are

instinctively socialists...they have to be, do they have a choice? As you would grow old, you

would yourself see lot of grey areas in the feminism, as most teenagers turn capitalistic when

they grow up. Then it will cease to be your panacea”.

“Ashu, Monk is not a teenager. He is very mature for his age. Anyway, 34 is the age of reason.

You should rather put it this way; Monk is a beautiful person and that is why he sees the beauty

in feminism and puts his money on it”, Utkarsh intervened and looked towards Guddi in an

apparent bid to win her good vibes.

“I think we were discussing an issue and there is no need for digressing to personal references”,

an irritated Guddi added as she could not bear any criticism aimed at Mayank. “An issue is

always larger and greater than a person. So far as Bhaiya is concerned, the truth is the other way

round. Women might have obsession about him but he is obsessed only with goodness, even if it

is in a donkey, let alone women”.

Mayank smiled at the child which he could see in Guddi, defending her favorite toy. He knew

Ashish very well. He knew he intentionally said things to him to prod him say something which

Ashish would remember and later tell those words to his colleagues, boasting that they were his

own creations. He remembered Ashish had once told him, „You know Monku, I really love what

you and Utkarsh talk about. I wish I could also talk like that but you know I cannot. I even do not

understand many things you say but I really like the way you people can talk. Just listening to

you, I get quotes which I use on my girl friends and bosses and they are invariably charmed by

them?. Mayank never divulged this secret even to Utkarsh.

“Ashu, you have a reasonable query. I appreciate you. Nothing is stupidity if you do not accept it

like that and instead treat it as a possible aspect of an issue. I would simply say that I see

something more prominent and predominant in females compared to men and my preference for

a female order over the contemporary male order emanates out of this. The women too have their

own set of problems but overall, I see they are ruled more by compassion compared to passion

which rules men folk. Things get different interpretation when treated with compassion instead

of passion. Compassion discounts a lot of hypocrisy and that is why I have g