CHAPTER EIGHT
I moved back home a few days later. It felt like I'd never moved away more or less immediately. I hadn't heard from Tom, nor had I contacted him. I thought it would be best for the dust to settle. We were on good terms; that was enough for now.
My mum was charging round like a crazy woman making sure I was OK every two minutes. She's great, she always has been, I should never doubted her reaction to me being gay. My Dad still didn't know and neither did Max and Abbie. But I am fine with that for now. There's no major rush any more. I've confided in the two people I needed to most. I've got my mum to talk now. It's amazing how much difference that makes. I do want the rest of my family to know soon but a period of recovery is needed first.
A few evenings later, we were all relaxing in the front room apart from my dad. He worked several nights a week as a machinist in a factory. He was always the main bread winner and we spend a lot of time with just mum growing up. We all really appreciated dad's hard work and we were spoilt rotten on birthdays and Christmas; always having plenty of nice food in the house and plenty of days-out and at least one big family holiday a year.
“Do we have to watch this?” Max asked the rest of us, referring to the programme on the television
We all nodded in unison.
“You three are all dull. Come on, it's not cool!”
“Who cares!” mum answered. “I'm just glad Dominic is back with us.”
Mum smiled at me.
I returned the favour.
“What do you want to watch instead then, Max?” asked Abbie.
“I want to watch one of my music DVDs.”
“No bloody chance,” my mum insisted. “Go and watch that in your room!”
“Right, I will”.
Max got up and pretended to be angry stomping about. He smiled at me as he moved towards the living room door.
“It's nice to have you back big brother,” Max said to me.
“It's nice to be back little brother,” I responded. “Enjoy that crap you call music!”
“I will. You have no idea what good music is anyway. Ask Abbie!”
He had shut the down behind him and I could hear his steps getting quieter as he went up the stairs.
Later on, my mum was on the phone in the kitchen and me and Abbie were chatting away about her school.
“So how's school at the moment, Abs?” I asked.
“It's boring! The same old boring stuff and nothing interesting ever happens. You know I don't like it!”
“I loved school, Abs!”
“I know, but you're boring!”
“Is there anything that's isn't boring?”
“Me!” she said.
I couldn't help but laugh.
“Did Max tell you we found one of your CDs under your bed, Dominic?”
“No, he didn't. Which CD?”
“The really gay one!”
Damn, I thought I hidden that from view. I wasn't offended by what she said, just embarrassed they had found it.
“Me and Max were seeing if there was anything to steal from you and we saw it. You're are so not cool, Dominic.”
I had to agree with that but went red with embarrassment.
She smiled. “Girls my age are supposed to like music like that and I think it's terrible. Boys shouldn't be listening to that especially old ones like you.”
Maybe she was right.
“I only like one song!”
I tried to defend myself. It was a little white lie. I liked all the songs. But I wasn't going to tell my little sister that.
She had more to say, revelling in my red-face. “My boyfriend says you must be gay if you like that CD.”
“Well, you're right, Abs. I am gay!”
There was an awkward pause.
She looked moritified.
“Are you OK, Abs?” I asked worriedly.
“Yes, I just don't know what to say. I was only joking about the CD being gay. I mean how can a CD be gay any way.”
“You're right but it's fine, Abs.”
“Can I gave you a cuddle to say sorry?” she asked me.
She said it in such a cute way that there was no way I could possibly have sad no even if I wanted to.
“Of course you can.”
“I love you, Dom.”
“I love you to, Abs.”
Her reaction was fantastic. She was probably too young to really get it but her love for me regardless was obvious. Her and Max are extremely important too me. During my lowest points, I would often think of their smiling faces to help me cope.
Mum soon joined us and noticed straight away we were being silly.
“What's so funny you two?” mum asked.
“Abbie knows.”
“Knows what?”
“I know he's gay,” Abbie added.
“I'm going to go and tell Max now,” I insisted.
“OK,” mum added. “But please be patient with him. It might come as a big surprise. Remember we didn't know and he's a guy. I don't know, maybe they react differently to this kind of thing. Good luck. Remember he loves you and will be fine. I'll throttle him if he says anything bad to you”
“Thanks mum. And you too Abs.”
I was nervous heading up the stairs. I didn't want to freak my brother out. It didn't matter he was younger. He's got an opinion and I just hoped he didn't mind. I opened the door and he was lying on his bed.
“Can I have word, Max?” I asked politely
“Do you have to?” he said.
He was obviously annoyed I had interrupted him.
“Yes, it's important.”
“But I'm watching the DVD.”
As a family, we never really had deep discussions so I understood his reaction.
“There's a pause button, Max. It'll only take a second. I need to tell you something.”
Max could now tell I was deadly serious and paused the DVD.
“I've told mum, and Abbie, and now I need to tell you.”
“I'm listening,” came his reply.
“Well, I don't really know who to say it, but I'm gay.”
He looked me deep in the eyes. He could tell it was upsetting me. He gave me a manly slap on the shoulder to show it was OK.
“Oh, OK. I didn't think you were. But I'm not really that surprised come to think of it.”
“You're not?” I asked.
I was a bit hurt he wasn't more surprised.
“No, not really,” he said. “You've never had a girlfriend. I've got one and I'm much younger. Even Abs has a boyfriend and she's -”
“How do you know I've never had a girlfriend?” I interrupted.
“Because you would have told me.”
He was right.
He continued. “Also, a lot of your interests are camp. I know you're football mad and you've got endless football knowledge to prove it. But your music and films are so gay. Actually, I can't believe I didn't work it out!”
“Why?”
“Because you and Tom were obsessed with wrestling and always used to wrestle each other, and you still watch it! You spend hour after hour watching men running around in their underwear play fitting with each other.”
There was an embarrassing pause.
I didn't know what to say.
Max continued. “Is Tom your boyfriend?”
“No, he's got a girlfriend!” I replied unhappily.
“Oh, yeah, that's right. I bet you fancy him though, don't you?”
“How do you know?”
“So you do then?
“Yeah I do like him. It's a long story!”