Tuesday, 6th October 1992
Lessons at Janus started again last month, but they are still meaningless and boring. We don't learn anything new and there is no practice. The guru wastes all our time complaining about delayed fees. In addition, he allows nobody to say anything in class any more, as he doesn't tolerate even the slightest indication of a personal opinion. Sometimes we are given lessons by Harry, the brightest example of obedience in Janus, who trumpets forth that: “Disciples who are entirely subjected to their master, have a good chance of reaching illumination – no matter who the master is, no matter if the master is a complete idiot! It doesn't matter who you obey; the important thing is to obey!”
This evening we had a celebration in class. It proved to be a fiasco: as usual, the guru monopolized all conversations, emphasizing that he is in total control of our lives now and that he knows exactly what we are doing every moment. He got on my nerves but... Could he be serious about that?
Later, on my way home, a lunatic on the bus scared me: He sat right opposite to me and kept shouting, swearing and gesticulating during the whole journey, while the bus was full and there was no other seat vacant. I am getting sick and tired of this all...
Saturday, 10th October 1992
Since the beginning of the month I have been in two minds whether to leave Janus or not, until the following incident happened at Danae's this evening: There were eight persons from our class invited, we all sat together in the living room, but there was a strange silence among us; the TV was on, we all gaped at it, but we neither watched anything nor uttered a word. There was only embarrassment, frigidity, absolute lack of communication.
“Shall we turn it off and talk a little?” I suggested calm, after an hour of exasperation.
“I would like it to be on!” someone retorted with an air of importance.
“Me too!” another one seconded and the others agreed, probably because they wanted to oppose me.
Anyway, we stayed there for about three hours doing nothing but stupidly looking at the screen. We hardly talked, I was bored to death, I got furious and I decided to leave Janus for good. By the way, how “spiritual” can someone be, if they can't resist the telly? What have we been doing all these years?
Monday, 12th October 1992
Night Adventure: I am in the yard of a monastery, among many people. Something extraordinary is about to happen, something we've been waiting for a long time. Could it be Judgement Day? I suspect. There is a lot of agitation now, as crowds of people hurry towards an arched gate. I follow too, although nobody knows if we are heading for Heaven or Hell. Reaching the gate, there is a white, marble stairway before us; a hawk goes up the steps, next to some people; it scares me although I can hear them say it is a good demon.
Next moment, the hawk screeches loudly and it changes form within a bright light. I am in agony, as I am not sure whether it will be transformed into an angel or a demon. No, it will be an angel, I finally decide and indeed, the bird becomes an angel with white wings: It has the form of a beautiful woman with blond hair, dressed in a white long dress, who beams with tranquility and wisdom.
Suddenly, the woman changes form again: She is holding an infant in her hands now and she hasn't got wings anymore. I recognize Mother Mary with baby Jesus. She leads us all to a spacious room, full of chairs. Some kind of lecture is about to begin in there. There are only four or five persons sitting at the front row, but I prefer to wait for others to arrive. The preacher, who is Jesus Christ, begins his speech by announcing his Second Coming at the beginning of the New Age.
Thursday, 15th October 1992
This afternoon I visited my friend Aphrodite; I found her home alone and she looked kinda strange. When I asked her if anything was wrong, she confided in me that during the last two hours (that is immediately after I had phoned her) incredible things had happened: All of a sudden she felt like suffocating and, without even thinking about it, she left home, she went to find Zisis' best friend, and asked to have sex with him at once! The guy was not alone, he was in the company of a friend. The latter, as soon as he got wind of what was happening, sought to leave; yet, Aphrodite didn't let him go, making clear she didn't mind having sex with both of them!
“I felt very liberated when I had sex with two men at the same time, and I had no problem that one of them was my lover's best friend! Now it is all crystal clear to me: Love is one thing, sex is another! There can be sex without love!” she concluded with an air of expertise.
A little later, Zisis arrived home. Aphrodite sent me to the kitchen and she told her boyfriend everything, with all details. I heard some shouts, then silence for about half an hour. I was beginning to wonder, when they called me to their room. The window was wide open despite the freezing cold, but the place stank awfully, like vomit. In fact, I had never smelt anything so disgusting in my whole life. I suppose it was some kind of narcotic – taking into account that Zisis often provides Aphrodite with hashish, and who knows what else. I felt very embarrassed but I acted the fool. “Now I want you even more!” said Zisis to his girlfriend in a mawkish voice, and hugged her tenderly. Is all this madness, or what?
Monday, 14th December 1992
I left Janus behind two months ago, but I always felt the urgent need to find new friends. Therefore, as soon as I quit Janus, I enrolled in a local school of folk dances, together with my sister. During the first month, there was a crowd on the dance floor: about 45 persons had initially joined the class of beginners. Yet, it didn't take me long to understand that certain pupils are already professional dancers! Sometimes, the teacher tells them to dance in a separate circle, so that the rest of us can see “how people dance”. Then, it is obvious that these persons have a relationship with the teacher, as they are: his wife, his wife's sister, the boyfriend of his wife's sister, his sister, his sister's boyfriend, his brother-in-law and so on.
Before the beginning of the lesson and during the ten-minute break there is always an atmosphere of ostentatious hilarity in the class, as mocking laughs and jokes echo everywhere. There are two jolly friends, Lisa and Nina (both are good friends of the teacher's wife) who catch all attention with their shouts, giggles and claptrap; it's evident they consider the dance school as their own property. Nobody seems to mind that, on the contrary everybody fawns upon them. Alice has often tried to join their clique; yet, for some strange reason she was frowned upon, so she has quit trying.
The only pupil I used to speak to was Catherine, a 17-year-old nice girl; however, since the beginning of the month she hasn't appeared at all, and she is not the only one who has disappeared: out of 45 people, now there are only 20 left – namely the teacher's kin and a few more persistent persons like Alice, me and four or five others. Those few, who don't belong to the teacher's clique, are always under pressure to split: When we dance in a circle, we are always pushed to the rear places; moreover, we are often scolded or ridiculed by the teacher: “It's a good thing there aren't any injuries!” he says ironically, meaning two young men who don't have a great talent at dance, yet they do their best. Or, he mockingly mimics some pupils (maybe me too) by dancing a spasmodic dance, complaining that “certain people in here dance like wooden puppets”. Alice and I play the fools because we like folk dances and we prefer not to make much of this nonsense. Anyway, we don't intend to become professionals or steal anybody's glory; we just dance for fun.
We were waiting for today's lesson to start, as I suddenly saw Nina running fast towards me. Before even realizing what's going on, she was already close to me; she jumped on the air in no time and with a loud martial cry she feigned kicking me on the face, stopping her right leg just a few inches from my head! Obviously, the slut wanted to prove to her friends she can jump “that high” -and they all laughed in satisfaction. As about me, I just smiled about the “joke”. I didn't react dynamically, because I didn't want them to think of me as an unsociable, humourless shrew. Despite the bad omens, I still try to look positive, sociable, pleasant etc. Or else, how will I ever find new friends?
* * * *
Monday, 25th January 1993
Since the beginning of the new year, the atmosphere at the dance school has been getting more and more hostile. The clique seems to be unable to tolerate the presence of the few “foreign bodies” anymore, and the teacher keeps saying that “three or four persons spoil the whole class”.
Alice, who is a really good dancer, still remains at the rear places of the circle -just like I do, of course. This afternoon she couldn't contain herself and burst out before everybody, complaining that Lisa and Nina are always giggling and acting the giddy goat, annoying the rest of the pupils. Lisa responded immediately, declaring that “nobody else here has a problem with us”. Indeed, no one dared second my sister and there was a lot of hubbub in the class, until Alice left the circle and walked away in indignation. I did the same. Then, a man's voice (Lisa's boyfriend) echoed all over the room: “Bravo Lisa!” and the whole clique clapped their hands in enthusiasm.
Monday, 8th February 1993
After the above incident, Alice never set foot in the dance school again; yet I still go there, ignoring the concentrated hostility which is persistently hovering over me. I haven't given up yet, maybe because I like folk dances, maybe because I have nothing better to do...
This afternoon a team of inspectors came to check our progress. In general, they were satisfied with us, but they made some remarks regarding the atmosphere of frivolity in the class and the teacher was obliged to reprimand certain persons. It served them right!
Monday, 15th February 1993
I have started to observe strange facts at the dance school: Certain young men, who can barely move their legs, have been promoted to the front places of the circle and they are properly instructed, even if it is obvious they lack talent.
Rania, a mediocre dancer, has also been promoted to the fourth place of the circle – probably because she has managed to join the clique. She usually wears a white blouse painted by her, like this:
Nutcase Rania
? + ? + ? = Ooooohh!
A word to the wise is enough...
This afternoon a new pupil turned up: It was Nick, Mrs Lemony's eldest son; the lady has been keeping herself busy with the church lately, and she has become quite wealthy ever since. Anyway, as soon as Nick said “Hello”, he took the third place in the circle and none of the clique showed the slightest displeasure.
Sunday, 28th February 1993
Next Sunday my class will give a performance of folk dances at the old cinema “Paris”. This afternoon it was the second time we all gathered there so as to rehearse. All pupils are supposed to be allowed to take part in the rehearsals but, naturally, only the best ones will be chosen.
I know I am not much of a dancer and I don't expect to perform in public; I just go to the rehearsals for my own pleasure. Yet, the wry faces I confronted these two times were out of this world! As soon as we finished the rehearsal today, the teacher congratulated everyone except “two or three persons who spoil the dances; but let's not always complain about them!”
...Next Sunday Nick will be the only one who will take part in both kinds of folk dances -islands and mainland. Other dancers, better ones, will appear in one kind of dances only, or even in neither.
Sunday, 28th March 1993
Night Adventure: I am at the edge of Chaos but I am able to watch a struggle which takes place extremely far away, at the edge of a reddish, steamy hell: A brave warrior strives to save his son, who has fallen in there. He tries to pull the young man out with his two hands, but it seems to be too difficult. I wish to to go and help them, but I can't cross the incredible abyssal space between us...?
As about the dance school, I am now left all alone among the proud members of the clique, as all the other “foreign bodies” have been removed. I can hardly stand at the rear of the circle now, as the others are clearly unwilling to hold my hands. I often need to run after them and make them hold my hands either they like or or not! Moreover, during the break I can barely endure all that concentrated negativity against me: It is impossible for me to exchange even a word with anyone in there; if I dare approach a group of pupils, they turn their faces the other way, they stop talking and they all split in a second. I often prefer to disappear from class during the ten-minute break. Anyway, I don't intend to set foot in that hornets' nest again...
Tuesday, 6th April 1993
Psychic Experience: After a relaxation exercise in bed this morning, I suddenly feel myself sinking in the void. Looking up, I realize I am falling down a black tunnel, the edge of which is a huge, toothed mouth of a snake. I fall faster and faster and I can't see the mouth anymore. I can only feel a cold, pleasant airstream coming up and down my spinal cord. I enjoy the sensation and I manage to prolong it for a few more seconds...
Prophetic Dream: I am at the foyer of the hotel ''Galactic'' in Saronis, together with my mother and my sister. We sit on plastic, purple chairs. An old man complains I have taken his seat. I disagree and tell him I haven't taken anybody's place. A young woman walks past us; she wears a long white blouse with the words ''Free Shop'' written with big black letters on her chest.
Verification: Next morning Alice informs us we should go to the Organization of Telephony in Helioupolis at once, so as to pay a delayed telephone bill. When mum, Alice and I arrive there, we sit on plastic purple chairs. Then I stand in a queue and the old man behind me complains I have taken his place. This isn't true, so I deny it by saying “I haven't taken anybody's place”. Then, a young woman walks past me; she is wearing a long white blouse with the words ''Free Shop'' written with big black letters on her chest.
Wednesday, 28th April 1993
Psychic Experience: Early in the morning, after a meditation exercise, I feel myself sinking deeper and deeper inside; then I perceive a white, liquid yet vaporous substance spreading everywhere. Little by little, a colourless landscape starts to form out of this substance, and I walk about it. I feel wonderful, I hope it isn't just a dream; right at that moment, I realize it is a dream. I shut my eyes, empty my mind and fall into the void again, while I can feel a cold, pleasant airstream coming up and down my spine. I keep on sinking in a dark tunnel, until I discern a golden disc shining bright at its bottom. I hope to reach there but I wake up instead...?
It's been a month now that I have been an employee of Pangaea, which means I am entitled to social security. For this reason I have decided to break my life insurance contract with the company “Easylife”. This afternoon, as soon as I informed my insurance broker about it, he went berserk and started cursing me: “Now you are healthy, Yvonne, but in five years you may be not be healthy at all! Then, you will be very sorry for breaking the contract!”
Later, when he saw I was undaunted, he suggested another alternative: “How about continuing your insurance policy, while I will be paying your premium? Of course, in that case I will be the lawful beneficiary!” – which means, if something bad happens to me, the smart insurer will get the dough. I turned down the offer, of course...
Wednesday, 5th May 1993
Night Adventure: I live in a world which is governed by ruthless politicians. All people are imprisoned in stone cages, away from nature. Strange huge canons aim at us continually. I try to escape but they watch incessantly. A gigantic canon aims at me -I almost bump against it- as I fly high with a view to escaping. At a moment, when they aren't watching and the canon isn't aiming at me, I run fast, I climb up a wall and I am finally out of the city-prison. However, nature is still very far away.
Now I wander on the fringes of civilization, in and out of empty cells. I feel alone and insecure, but at least nobody watches or confines me anymore. Intending to leave once and for all, I go on smashing shut doors; however, I can't find a way out. I meet a woman, who looks like Aphrodite, and I suggest we go away together; yet, she doesn't want to: “I don't give a fuck about them,” she explains. “Where is nature?” I ask her then, and she points at a strip of green which can be seen in the distance.
A woman politician, who is dressed in a dark-coloured suit, has short blond hair and reminds me of Persephone, tries to prevent me from flying to liberty -but she can't stop me. I fly high towards the countryside, enjoying the fresh breeze on my face and arms. I am transported with an unprecedented joy as I fly freely over green fields and deep gorges. What happens if I fall? I wonder, as I suddenly discern large bulks of iron lying on the ground. For a few moments I lose height, but I finally manage to beat my fears and go on. I wake up full of joy and excitement.
Interpretation: A clear allegory of our prison-world; I wish to escape, but hidden enemies watch and obstruct me with strange guns. I eventually find the opportunity to escape, but I feel lonely and insecure. I am alienated, but still I can't escape. Certain persons who seem to be friendly, may actually be indifferent or hostile. Finally, I manage to go away, I am free. Nevertheless, inner fears and doubts make me “lose height”, as I can see they have polluted everything, even beyond the limits of their civilization. However, in the end I beat my fears and continue my spiritual ascension...
Sunday, 30th May 1993
Prophetic Dream: At the crossroads of Smyrnis street and Kyprou avenue, a bus crashes into a car. The right front wheel of the bus is detached and rolls down the street. Verification: In the afternoon, as I return home from work, the bus I am in crashes into a car at the crossroads of Smyrnis street and Kyprou avenue. The right front wheel of the car is detached and rolls down the street...?
This evening I finished my first illustrated manuscript of the series “Sandra Anderson - Astral Fantasy”, which contains eleven fantasy stories. While writing them, I noticed some odd coincidences: First I write or illustrate a scene; then, after a few hours -or one day- a similar scene takes place in my reality or in a film on television. Such coincidences I call contacts. To be more specific:
Fifth story: Venor, Sandra's archenemy, hides inside a laundry cart and escapes from prison. In a film I watched at the same night, the imprisoned hero hides inside a laundry cart and escapes from prison.
Seventh story: I draw a picture of a dinosaur's skeleton rising over a cemetery. A few hours later, at night, uncle George dies unexpectedly.
Eighth story: Sandra sings in a disco pub. Next day I am unexpectedly invited to go to a disco with my cousins -I hardly ever go to a disco.
Tenth story: I write about a gigantic monster which absorbs energy from spacecrafts. A few hours later, in a cartoon on TV there is a strange machine which absorbs energy from a spacecraft.
Tenth story: In another cartoon on TV, the hero has been captured by his enemies. Suddenly, he turns round and fires at them with an anesthetic laser gun. They fall back, the hero runs away. Earlier in the morning, I had written an episode where Sandra Anderson escapes from her enemies exactly in the same way.
Eleventh story: On the 21st of May, at the funfair of Saints Constantine and Helen, a young blond man who resembles Venor a lot happens to be standing next to me. My friend Mandy, who is with me, suddenly talks about a whip and moves her hands accordingly; she is dressed exactly like Sandra in a similar scene, where Venor holds a whip. I drew that scene the day before, on 20th May.
Friday, 18th June 1993
The carpenter's workshop my brother-in-law opened a few months ago has been going from bad to worse, since Antony prefers fishing to working. More often than not, the bloke receives money in advance for the construction of furniture the client hardly ever sees. As a result, clients and creditors are getting angry because Antony owes them either money or furniture. As about my sister, she is obliged to work so as to support her family: For some months now she has been working as a chamber maid in the hotel “Blue Rose” in Vouliagmeni.
This morning things came to a pretty pass: While I was at work, one of Antony's creditors became too aggressive and threatened to sue him; in order to make sure her son-in-law will not end up in prison, my mother ran to the bank with my deposit book (she is co-beneficiary) without telling me anything, she withdrew 400,000 drachmas and gave it to Antony! When my parents informed me about it, I got very angry and asked them to give me my deposit book in hand. From now on I will be keeping it in a safe place, together with my monthly salary. Up to this day I have trusted my money and my deposit book to my parents -very stupid of me...
Friday, 2nd July 1993
Mrs Lemony's husband, Harry, has had a bad accident recently: He got his left leg badly injured by a press in the factory where he works as a factory-hand. Doctors say the leg needs to be cut off because it has started to rot. I think I may be able to do something about it:
Lucid Dream: I wander about in our neighbourhood, I know I am dreaming and I look for Harry. I find him outside my house, at the street. I extend both my hands towards him and I send positive energy to him, saying: “This will cure you and it will protect you from all evil”. Verification: Two days later my mother will inform me that Mr Harry's leg is “miraculously” getting better and it won't need to be cut off.
Monday, 9th August 1993
Another neighbour of ours, the 25-year-old John Zarifis, has been taking drugs for years. It is said he is now very badly addicted, there is no hope for him, and he is expected to live no more than one year. Once again, I decide to take action:
Lucid Dream: I look for John in my dream and I find him in my yard. He is dressed in an orange suit. I extend my hands and cure him, in the same way as above. Verification: A few days later I will be informed that John has suddenly escaped danger and he is about to start detoxification. Soon he will get off the hook and find a profitable job in a big company, although he hasn't got any special qualifications. From now on, both Harry and John will be in the pink of health.
Sunday, 22nd August 1993
For about two years now I have entered a very interesting phase of my life, since I have more and more psychic experiences; yet, I have also perceived certain paradox incidents which appear more and more frequently, surrounding me like a Sonic War: At daybreak, when I do the most important meditation exercise of the day, there is incredible mobility in the block of flats next to my house: A number of cars come and go continuously in and out of their outdoor garage, which happens to be right next to my bedroom window! Even earlier, from 4:00 to 6:00 am (no exaggeration) they race engines incessantly and/or slam car doors uncountable times! Why, indeed? Only God -or Satan- knows! The fact is that more often than not I can hardly sleep, I feel exasperated and I can't meditate properly.
In addition, the family who lives on the second floor of this building throw parties twice a week and there is very loud music till 3:00 o' clock in the morning. Besides, they are always on the balcony, shouting, screaming, listening to music or television on full blast, every day, all day long! Moreover, the family who lives across the street have a nasty black dog which barks continuously for hours and hours, day or night! The weirdest thing, though, is that nobody else in the neighbourhood seems to be annoyed by all that pandemonium!
I was hopeless about the problems mentioned above, but this morning an unexpected solution came up: After years of moving houses, my sister has just decided to return here, at her own house, so that my mother can help her even more with raising her children. Yet, she suggests she and I should change houses: she prefers to live in my house, on the ground floor, because it is bigger and it has a veranda; therefore, I will move into her apartment, on the second floor, which is much quieter since it is not so close to the street and the outdoor garage.
I can hardly believe my good luck! Of course I have agreed to change houses with Alice! Finally, I will have a little peace and quiet! How could I ever be so lucky? Maybe my life is going to take a turn for the better, after all...
Wednesday, 10th November 1993
Night Adventure: I, together with some other persons, carry out researches into the dominance of Evil in the world. We have come to the conclusion that Evil will soon be too powerful to fight against, as it grows fast, like a living organism.
All of a sudden, three hostile women attack me; I fight back with karate kicks, but I can see I won't last long. I begin to hover in the air but they keep on chasing me, as they can fly too. Hovering higher and higher, I find out my enemies can't follow me over a certain height. I keep a safety distance, and I can see they admire me now. Besides, I am not afraid of them anymore because I know I can reach even higher.
After a while I decide to come down, as I know they can't harm me, and I land on a green field near the beach. One of my co-researchers is still examining some viruses of Evil in a wooden lab. “They would contaminate the whole world if they didn't have so many enemies,” she says.
Sunday, 12th December 1993
I have just finished writing the second book of my illustrated manuscripts “Sandra Anderson - Astral Fantasy”, which contains four stories. The most important contacts I have observed are the following:
First Story: I write and illustrate a music concert given by Venor. Two days later, my mother decides we should pay a visit to my godmother in Piraeus. Her daughter, who is a professional pianist, plays some classical pieces on the piano for us -a private concert.
Third story: I write about Astrid, a dangerous woman who explores cyberspaces. Next day, a colleague at work tells me she has had such an experience in England. “It made me cry for two days!” she confides in me.
Third story: Sandra sings in a music concert. A few hours later, I watch a cartoon where there is a concert given by a woman singer.
Third story: Late at night I watch a film on TV; there is a man who asks a woman to help him get rid of another, dangerous woman. The two of them make love, while the evil woman is secretly watching them. A few hours before, I had written and illustrated a very similar scene with my protagonists Venor, Sandra, Astrid.