DIARY ENTRIES:
July 9 – Sara called a family meeting. Kids said Della calls them names, threatens
them with punishment. Della mad. Stormed off to her room. Sara told kids would talk to her. Little shitheads never said a word against
me. Let Shonda beat me out of $15 bucks
playing cards. Needs money for new dress
for job interview. She happy. Had to attend CPR class, what a bore. I wouldn’t do CPR on these little monsters,
fuck’em.
July 10 – Bought new clothes for Jake. (State provides clothing allowance of $225
for new arrivals) Hell, $225 didn’t buy
much, state is pretty cheap. State cares
for these little demons as much as house parents and staff. Jake hit Tyrone, bloodied his lips. Room restriction given. Later, found Jake in boy’s bathroom, sitting
on commode, naked, sound asleep. Woke
him up, said was jerking-off, got tired and nodded off. Told him to get dressed. Lazy punk.
Don’t even have enough energy to masturbate.
July 11 – Nightmare again.
Who’s holding that damn gun?
July 12 – Drove Shonda to job interview, she upset,
couldn’t read most of application form.
Helped her fill it out. Later,
went to mall parking lot and gave her a driving lesson. Scared at first, but calmed down and loved
it. Told her not to tell Dick or Sara.
July 15m—played baseball in field across street with
kids. Alan hit Tyrone with ball by
mistake, fight broke out. Ended up with
all kids fighting, sent everyone to bed, tired of their bullshit.
July 16 – Boy Scout leader called, Jake acting out,
sprayed Scout leader with hose. Picked
him up, he’s no saint, but can’t help liking him. Scout leader is a jerk. No punishment for Jake, instead bought us
each a banana split. Caught Robin behind
house with neighbor boy, trying to kiss him.
Seen me coming, pushed him away, and said he attacked her. Lying bitch, told him to leave, Robin on room
restriction, she’s pissed. Little whore.
July 17 – Sent to restraint training class, shown how to
take down and restrain out-of-control kid without hurting them. Della said if Jake keeps aggravating her, she
may quit.
July 18 – Della and me sore from training class. Tyrone refused to go to Boy Scout meeting,
told him to get in van or I’d beat the hell out of him. Jerk got into van. Nice talk doesn’t work on these street-wise
punks.
July 20 – Della tried to restrain Jake, big mistake. Warned her not to mess with him, but she’s so
smart. She grabbed Jake and tried to
take him to floor, instead, he slammed her into wall. Pinned her there, while Pedro grabbed her
ankles and jerked her feet out from under her.
She hit the floor, Jake jumped up and down on the poor dyke. Heard her screaming, made Jake get off of
her. She cried for half an hour before
she could finally sit up. Refused
ambulance. She wanted boys punished. No way, she started it, fuck her. Not speaking to me, boy, that really hurts my
feelings, ha ha.
July 21 – Asked Henry who’s holding the gun to my back,
wouldn’t answer.
July 24 – Rita threw vacuum cleaner down stairs at Della,
on room restriction. Sonny-the-fag
disappeared, listed as run away by police.
Found pill in Donna’s room, questioned her about it. Said hasn’t taken medication for months,
pretends to swallow, then spits it out later.
Told her to do a better job of hiding pills before house parents catch
on. I’m burned out, don’t care if she
takes meds or not.
July 25 – Prepared van for food bank run. Alan was my assigned helper, lazy bastard was
supposed to help unload van. Found him
lying on bench on front porch. Yelled at
him, ran off down street. Went inside,
found Della sitting on sofa reading one of her lesbo mags. Lazy dyke, slapped magazine out of her hands,
told her better get up and start unloading van or she’d be one sorry
bitch! Never said a word. Never saw anyone work so hard and fast. Alan came back later, stayed away from me.
“Simon, on July ninth, you let Shonda win
fifteen dollars from you so she could buy a new dress. How did that make you feel?”
“It felt good.
I wasn’t always nasty to the kids.”
“You seem to have a problem with the state
system; can you tell me why?”
“The state don’t care about these kids, or it
would treat them better. Nobody cares
for these delinquents. Not the burned
out staff and house parents, and not the state.
If they did, they’d take action against all the abuse.” I muttered.
