H ey." Aiden said a thousand different things in
that one small word when he looked at Liam.
He slipped into the booth where his lover was sitting.
It was Liam's favorite, the one at the front of
Hamburger Mary's where the windows could be
rolled back in nice weather exposing the diner to the
street.
"I didn't expect you here today." Liam said,
leaning into Aiden's shoulder.
"Yeah, well I had a free lunch hour and figured
you'd be here. Did you know that Rosalie proposed to
Vanessa?"
"Proposed, like in asking for her hand in
marriage?" Bob asked. No one had noticed him come
in. He didn't ask, just sat on the bench seat opposite
Aiden and Liam.
"Or her twat." Aiden drawled.
"Nice, a wedding. I wonder if they'll let Even do
the catering." Bob was always trying to promote his
friend.
284 Magical Moonlight
Aiden looked around. "I don't suppose we can get
some service here? I need coffee and some food
would be nice too."
"You can share mine." Liam offered.
"I want to live without clogged arteries." Aiden
drawled, but turned and kissed Liam. "Good coffee
needs more sugar." Liam had just taken a sip of his
coffee.
"Get your own coffee, don't you dare put more
sugar in mine." Liam put his hand over the top of his
coffee mug. "Hey guys." Daniel and Evan had walked
in.
Daniel grunted something and Evan smiled,
blowing a kiss in Liam's direction as they sat down.
"So Robert, why so gloomy?" Aiden asked,
ignoring Liam.
"Nothing." He looked at Liam, not wanting him
to say anything.
"I think Bob needs a change of pace. He needs to
move forward with his life. I mean just because he
isn't working, doesn't mean life should stop. What do
you guys think he likes to do best to relax?"
"Wack off." Evan, Daniel and Aiden said
together. "Wack off to porn." Evan looked at Liam.
"Bobby has the biggest porn collection ever. He even
has some eight-millimeter stuff, not to mention Beta
Max. You know, ones where the guys wear black
socks and masks."
"Black socks and masks?" Liam looked at Aiden.
"You guys are kidding, right?"
ER Bryant 285
"We kid you not." Evan grinned. "Oh Bobby, you
have to invite Liam over for some old porn viewings.
No gay boy's life should be without."
"I didn't know there was really old gay porn?"
"Depends on what you mean by really old."
Aiden said. "Gay boys had movie cameras just like the
straight boys. Makes sense that they'd make porn."
"I never thought about it." Liam admitted. "Can I
come over and see some of the old stuff. Maybe I'll
learn something."
"Sure you can come and watch." Bob shrugged.
"But you already have an old boyfriend, I'm sure he's
taught you everything you need to know."
Aiden contemplated zapping Bob with some kind
of spell that would make his dick shrink, but before he
could do anything Liam elbowed him in the side.
"Play nice Aiden." He whispered.
The food that had been ordered was delivered just
then. Aiden managed to order a salad and while he
waited for it to arrive, he began to eat Liam's fries.
Daniel watched in astonishment. "Aiden, you're
eating French fries." He finally managed to say.
"No shit." Aiden snickered.
"But you don't eat fries."
"I don't?" Aiden looked at the fry in his hand and
then popped it into his mouth. "Oh."
Liam, one hand under the table, sent a fast itching
spell toward Daniel's crotch while looking innocent.
He let his fingers stroke Aiden's cock. "I think I like
Armani." He said to Aiden. "The material is so thin,
it's like you're wearing nothing much at all." He
286 Magical Moonlight
looked over at Daniel who was squirming
uncomfortably. "What's up Daniel?" he asked.
"Nothing." Daniel said wiggling around.
"If you have to pee Daniel, just go." Liam shook
his head. "You shouldn't put so much pressure on
your bladder. You'll regret it someday."
"I don't fucking have to pee." Daniel spat.
"Then sit still." Aiden answered. "You're jiggling
the table."
"Daniel dear, if you've got crabs or jock itch, I
have just the thing. My great aunt Milly used to say
that the down under critters just couldn't handle a
mixture of white vinegar and baking soda. You make
up a paste and spread it around. I bet I can get Tanya
to make some up for you right now."
"SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP." Daniel screamed,
silencing the entire diner. He was wiggling even more.
One hand was obviously scratching furiously below
the table.
Aiden looked at Liam and shook his head. Liam
flushed red and withdrew the spell. "You were saying
something
about playing nice?" Liam asked
innocently.
"You just wait until I get you home young man."
Aiden grinned and shook his finger at the red head.
"Ahhhh, do I have to wait?" Liam whined in a
perfect imitation of a certain someone who was now
slumped in his seat, relief on his face, one hand in his
pants. He did not see his mother descending like the
gorgon from hell on her hapless son.
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It was two weeks later when Aiden asked.
"Where are you going?" Liam was heading out the
door.
"I told you before. I'm going over to Bob's to
watch porn." He held up his messenger bag. "I'm
bringing the popcorn." He looked at Aiden. "You
know what's kind of weird though, Bob hasn't
stopped watching, well except for very brief bathroom
breaks, for almost fourteen days. I mean how many
blow jobs can you watch?"
"Apparently a lot of them." Aiden was sitting at
the table using his laptop. Ty was perched on his
shoulder and Killer was stretched out on the floor, so
large and flat he looked like he'd been run over. He
turned around. "I don't think it's good to encourage
him."
"I'm not. I was sick of the stuff after the first
hour. Do you have any idea how many trolls make
porn?" Liam shuddered. "Trust me, a lot more trolls
than hot guys. I've seen so many weird looking dicks I
could write a fucking book. And don't get me started
on assholes."
Aiden snickered. "So what pray tell are you doing
going over there and bringing popcorn?"
"I'm trying to get him to focus on something else.
I mean if he has to eat popcorn, maybe he'll stop
pumping his dick. The place reeks and he never has
the drapes open."
"Buttered popcorn?" Aiden asked, getting up to
wrap his arms around Liam.
288 Magical Moonlight
"Gross, don't even think it." Liam laughed.
"Seriously, Bob has a problem."
"Maybe we all should go over and have an
intervention." Aiden suggested.
"I don't know." Liam doubted having Aiden and
the gang over would do much for Bob other than piss
him off. "Give me today to see if I can convince him
to stop watching porn."
"Maybe you should take Ty with you." Aiden's
hand went to his shoulder and he stroked the cat.
"Why?" Liam asked. He had never had his own
Wah cat. He'd never needed one, his powers were
strong enough or at least that's what he'd figured. No
one had explained why he didn't get one. It was a
question he was going to have to ask his mother
eventually.
"Ty suggested it." Aiden shrugged. "He's a cat,
how do I know why?"
Liam snickered and looked at Ty. "Why do you
want to come with me? I mean, it's not like I can just
walk down the street with you perched on my
shoulder like some damn budgie."
"I'll come with you, Ty can sit on my shoulder."
Aiden made a move.
"No, that's okay, I'll take him." Liam opened his
messenger bag for the cat to jump in. "Don't put any
cat hairs on my mints."
"Don't put loose mints in your bag." Aiden
laughed. "Watch him Ty."
"Can I drive your car?" Liam asked. "There's
more cat room than mine."
ER Bryant 289
"No." Aiden huffed, kissed him on the nose and
moved back to the table. "Don't be late, we're going
to the girls' for dinner."
"Yum, dinner after dealing with the jack off
king." Liam snorted. "I have learned some cool
techniques though."
"Somehow the thought of Robert's jack off
techniques doesn't really intrigue me." Aiden laughed.
"Go young man, go and complete your mission."
"Ha, funny, ha." Liam laughed and left the loft.
He pounded down the stairs, landing with a thump at
the bottom. "Oops, sorry about that Ty." He said to
the disgruntled cat.
"Watch it kid." The cat muttered to himself. He
didn't notice that Liam snickered. One of Liam's
inherited abilities allowed him to understand animals.
He tried to block it out most of the time. Animals
tended to depress him; they didn't have the greatest of
lives. But he'd always listened to Ty and Killer. Not
that he'd ever let them know it. Perhaps that was why
the Wah cats had refused to allow him to have one of
them.
"Okay, I hope you don't mind cars. I don't want
to take the bus or walk. Bob's place isn't far, so it
won't be a long ride." Liam unlocked his car and
placed the messenger bag on the passenger seat.
"Make yourself comfortable."
Liam ran around to the driver's side. By the time
he was belted in and ready to go. Ty was sitting in the
rear window, watching the world. "Damn, I wish I got
290 Magical Moonlight
out more." The cat muttered to himself. "This is better
than watching that stupid dog day in and day out.
The red head snickered as he started the car. "Hey
Ty, want a quick tour of English Bay before we head
over to Bob's?"
Ty, being a cat, refused to answer directly. But he
did jump into the front seat to stand up with his front
paws on the dash, watching as Liam drove the four
blocks to a riverside park.
Parking under a low hanging willow tree, Liam
smiled at the cat's excitement. "Cool tree, eh Ty?"
Liam commented. The cat jumped onto the passenger
seat and put one paw on the window release button, in
seconds the window rolled down and Ty jumped up
into the tree. "TY YOU DUMB CAT, WE DON'T
HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT." Liam hollered
getting out of his car.
"Fuck off." Ty hollered back in cat. He'd been
watching trees on movies and television for months.
This was his first real tree. His little foray to Davie
Street had been work, this was for fun. How could he
resist? Ty scampered higher and higher. The air was
filled with scents he'd never processed before. There
was a heady river smell of rotting vegetation lightly
scented with fish, both dead and alive. It was
intoxicating. He ran to the top of the tree and back
down again over and over until he was dizzy and
panting and grinning ear to ear. On his last trip down
he jumped into the window of Liam's car.
"You are one really, really weird cat." Liam
grumbled as he got back into the car. "Cats can't just
ER Bryant 291
run up and down trees in the park. Something could
get them."
Ty glared at Liam and put one leg up over his ear
and began to wash the base of his tail. The cat answer
to someone who pissed them off.
"Now that you've got that out of your system,
we're going to Bob's. He actually could use some
kind of distraction. Maybe if you have a session of the
cat crazies at his place he'll stop pulling his dick. It
might fall off." Liam snickered. "Now that would get
his attention."
The car started its journey again. Ty, satisfied
with his adventure, preened on the front seat.
Anything else that happened today would be gravy as
far as he was concerned. He'd climbed a tree, reached
for the sky over and over. Life was good for this Wah
cat.
"Hey Bob." Liam said when he walked into his
friend's place. The apartment was dark as usual, lit
only by the glow from the television set.
"Hey." Bob answered, barely looking over at
Liam. The kid had been there on and off for a few
days, maybe a week, he wasn't sure, but he was used
to having him around.
Liam picked up some of the garbage on the island
counter top before putting his messenger bag down.
Ty poked his head out and looked around. His
whiskers twitched at the funky smell. "This human is
a pig." He merowed.
292 Magical Moonlight
Liam smothered a snicker. "Bob, you have to stop
watching the porn. It isn't good for you. Besides, I
think it's time you found yourself a project."
"I can't stop watching. It's fascinating, almost
magical." Bob leaned forward. "It's, it's kind of like
potato chips, you can't eat just one."
"I don't' know whether you've noticed or not, but
your dick is kind of looking not so good. I mean you
have damn near rubbed it raw." Liam shuddered.
"How are you going to explain that to your doctor?"
"I'll be okay, it's nothing a hot bath won't cure."
Bob turned up the sound and the room was filled with
simulated sex sounds.
"Uh, speaking of basic hygiene. You could maybe
use a boost in that department." Liam looked down at
Bob. "I'll run you a bath."
Bob waved him away. Liam shook his head and
headed toward the bathroom. If he couldn't get Bob
back to relative normalcy, he was going to have to
resort to magic.
Ty strolled over to where the smelly human sat.
He jumped up on the arm of the chair, shaking one
foot when he stepped in something unpleasant.
Watching Bob for a moment, the man's hand always
moving. "You are one sick human." Ty said clearly,
enunciating in case Bob didn't understand him. "I
mean that in a very definite way. You are supposed to
be intelligent and yet you sit in the dark and watch
humans breeding over and over, while they make
sounds that are not real. It makes no sense. A cat, if
unable to do something the cat desires, finds another
ER Bryant 293
way to find completion even if it is supervising the
learning of a stupid overly large dog."
Part way through Ty's scolding, Bob had stopped
moving. He continued to stare at the television, but he
saw nothing as his eyes glazed over with something
close to fear. Slowly Bob's head turned to the arm of
his chair to stare directly into the round eyes of an
orange tabby cat. He didn't have a cat. He didn't have
a talking cat. He hated cats, in fact he couldn't stand
them, they were sneaky and sly. "A cat, there's a cat."
His voice was squeaky and filled with fear as he tried
to make himself smaller.
Ty stood up and bushed himself out in full bristle,
his tail like a bottlebrush. He grinned at Bob showing
all of his teeth. "Get your act together you stupid
human. I have better things to do than get my fur
dusty and sticky in this cave you live in."
"AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH." Bob
screamed as he leapt up and ran over the top of his
chair to the bathroom.
"What the fuck is wrong?" Liam asked looking
around, not sure what to expect.
Bob ran around to hide behind Liam. "There's a
cat, a cat in my apartment. He talked to me."
"Riiiight." Liam said while he was thinking he
might strangle Ty. "Cat's do that a lot, talk I mean.
Hey, your bath is ready."
"Yeah, yeah, I need a bath. Could you call my
cleaning service? The place is a mess." He started to
strip off his robe all the while looking left and right
for the talking cat. Maybe he'd been hallucinating.
294 Magical Moonlight
Maybe he was sicker than he'd thought. "I've been
thinking, maybe I could start up my own porn site. I
mean I sure know enough about what would sell. It
can't be that hard to learn how to build a web site."
"Good idea Bob. I'll make that call. Let me know
what happens." Liam was backing out of the bathroom
not wanting to see any more of Bob's naked body than
he had to. "I'm heading home. Should I feed your
cat?"
"I don't have a fucking a cat." Bob looked
around; there had been a tinge of hysteria in his voice.
"Make sure the door is closed tight. Maybe it got in
somehow through a window or a door or something."
"You never know." Liam shrugged. "See you
later Bob." He wiggled his fingers as he left the
bathroom. A quick phone call to the cleaning crew and
then he scooped up Ty and headed to the car. "I'll take
you to another cool place as a reward for getting Bob
off his ass." Liam said. "But you have to promise to
behave and not act like an idiot cat."
"You mean not act like a dog." Ty snickered in
cat.
Liam ignored him as he drove outside the city. He
figured Ty might like the chance to hunt field mice
and the day was a great one to sit out in the sun and
sketch. Aiden wouldn't miss him because he'd figure
he was still with Bob. So he wouldn't have to worry
about his usual Irish watchdog. He laughed to himself.
"Hey, I'll get us some take out at Mickey D's, you'll
love their filet of fish or would you prefer chicken?"
ER Bryant 295
An hour later, Liam and Ty lay on a blanket in the
sun. They'd established themselves in the middle of a
field filled with tall sweet smelling grasses, daisies
and some yellow flower that made Liam and Ty
sneeze. There was a tree beside their blanket that
spread a canopy of green over them, shading them
from the sun.
Ty and Liam's bellies were too full, but it was a
nice too full. They'd eaten more than they should of
chicken and burgers, fries and apple pie, each one
having a milk shake to top it off. Life was good.
Ty could hear the rustle of field mice not too far
away. He rolled over on his belly, eyes like slits while
he contemplated hunting, but his full tummy and the
warm sunlight, lulled him to sleep.
Liam too rolled onto his stomach, his sketchbook
in front of him as he sketched the long length of lazy
cat, asleep with buzz of bees and other insects
serenading them both. His eyes began to drift shut, his
hand relaxed and the pencil rolled along the
sketchbook. Soon the sound of the cat and Liam, both
snoring lightly could be heard above the grasses.
As they slept, curious inhabitants of the field
moved closer and closer to look at the interlopers.
Only to be surprised when with a pop, another human
and a great huge, black fuzzy dog appeared.
Aiden had been waiting for Liam to return from
Bob's and when he didn't return with Ty, he began to
worry. Only after an hour or so of worry, did he
realize that all he needed to do was to concentrate and
he'd be wherever Liam was. He hoped it was
296 Magical Moonlight
somewhere that no one would notice his appearance.
Just as he popped to Liam's location, Killer leaned
into him, his head on Aiden's knee. So they both
ended up sitting in the grass and staring at Liam and
Ty sleeping on a blanket, debris from MacDonald's
tidily placed in a large bag at one end.
Aiden watched for a moment. Liam and the cat
were unbelievably relaxed; too relaxed actually, they
should have noticed him arriving. Killer whined,
knowing