All throughout my work I have attempted to turn my work from the public directly to Ivory. I have attempted many times to turn my focus around to contain my lover so that she would be the primary recipient of my love letters. But this has been difficult when others stop me from telling my tale merely because of the controversial information it contains. In this chapter I will attempt to open up my soul so that you can view it without any outside manipulation. In this chapter I will attempt to speak directly to Ivory so that she may see me naked.
I am alone in this life my love. The family that I received object to my life mission. I spend my life travelling God's beautiful creation. I make friends wherever I go but they are merely friends of convenience and not friends based off of my mission. I spend my life attempting to make friends based off of my mission but this can be very difficult because of you. You are not received well within any society. Society hates me and wants me dead because of you. They do not understand nor do they care to understand. They judge me based off of me searching for you instead of by my actions. Holidays mean nothing for me dear girl except that the shops are not open. I have no one to celebrate my accomplishments with so I live a life without celebration. If people within my environment find out about you, I am required to move on. But I don't want you to feel bad because of this. I just need you to know what I go through on a day to day basis in order to deliver this content to you.
Because despite these facts, I have an amazing life. I travel all around the world and I see many beautiful sites. I am not burdened down by a nine to five job. I am not required to do anybody else's work: my work is my sole passion. Surrounding me on all sides is my work. And I am proud to stand by my work. Sometimes I do things that I shouldn't like print business cards. But some reason people don't find out my secrets through this process. Nobody within my existence is interested in my work and this enables me to take risks without it affecting my day to day environment. I don't know if this will ever change but it enables me to hide in plain sight. I just act like there is nothing in which I am hiding and as a result, not a soul in my environment is interested in my work. This is a two-edged sword as I successfully hide in plain sight without being able talk about these subjects with others. You are the only person I can talk about these subjects with my love. My audience are the only ones who I can talk about these subjects with.
I love you my fans. Thank you for being there for me and allowing me to converse with you about these subjects. There is no one in this world who would allow me to talk about these subjects but you. That makes you really special and I appreciate you for it. Talking about difficult subjects is the only way humankind will ever find enlightenment. That is why the Internet is so important. It acts as a public forum in which I can speak my mind. Its recording abilities then captures my argument in time. The captured recording can then act on my behalf and it never asks for a break.
"This enlightenment requires nothing but freedom--and the most innocent of all that may be called "freedom": freedom to make public use of one's reason in all matters."
Immanuel Kant
Currently we do not possess this freedom. I publicly made use of my reason and as a result the government has stolen over a year of my life. I had to fight very hard for the right to do this. We the people are not given free public use of our reason, for if we do we could end up incarcerated indefinitely. I recorded it all as it happened so you can't argue with me. Our freedom of speech is currently surrounded by limits. If society is not comfortable with the information in which you are presenting, they will imprison you despite you not committing any crimes. Committing crimes is not a necessity in order to be incarcerated. Our mouth can land us in jail just as quickly as our hands. Is this fair? Is it fair to incarcerate people just because their opinion differs from yours?
I used to be really broken without you my love. But God showed me how to stand strong on my own two feet. The earlier in my work you go the more broken you will find me. It took me a long time to learn how to be a whole person without you. But now I am strong even though I am alone in this world. I want you to learn how to be strong without me too. We should become two strong people independently. This means that together we will be unstoppable. I want us to avoid a codependent relationship. I want you to smile in the morning because it is the morning, not because I exist. Do not place your happiness in the hands of another. You should independently generate your own happiness. Your happiness should not be reliant on me.
I am happy because it is the morning. I will be happy because I get to run my fingers through your hair in the morning. I am not happy because you are happy. Such a relationship is doomed for failure, for one can never truly make another happy. You must be responsible for your own happiness. Do not let the bad mood of another bring you down. I am happy because I am writing this love letter to you. I will be happy because I will be writing another love letter to you while sitting next to you. I am not happy because you are happy. I am happy because I am a happy person. I am not relying on your happiness to be happy. However, your existence within my environment will indeed make me a very happy man. In fact, the happiest man in the world. For I won the lottery when I won your heart. For it is the most precious heart humankind will ever see. Ivory's heart.
I have mixed feelings when it comes to being contacted by others. I don't like hearing the beep that indicates that I have a new notification. Most of it is abuse. Occasionally it is someone with a heart. But for a split second, I get butterflies in my stomach. Because it could be you dear girl who is contacting me for the first time. There is one moment that I am waiting eagerly for my dear. That moment in which you connect with me. That moment will be so exciting. That moment is my game changer and that is when I change my modus operandi. My life is forever changed when I find you. This is true for multiple reasons. To begin with, finding you would stop my advertising and thus stop the abuse I receive. Finding you would mean I found home. You are my home, dear girl, and when I find you I will plan the future with you. To a certain extent, my life is on hold until I find you.
Of course I have tons of projects like writing books and developing games, but I do these things for Ivory. When I finally find her then we can develop games together. Everything in my life changes when I find you, my love. Because all of my current efforts are invested in finding you. When I find you, the life that I have been preparing for over the last ten years begins. And so do our legal troubles, my dear. The moment I find you will be the greatest moment that I have ever experienced. The moment I find you is the most anticipated event of my lifetime. I will run out of breath. My knees will shake. And I will cry, for you are worth every tear. You, my love, is the reason my heart keeps beating. You are the reason I wake up in the morning and the reason why I keep breathing. And you are so amazing because you manage to be all of these things when you are not even in front of me. What is faith? Faith is the prophet's weapon. I know you are real. I completely trust in God and His plan for my life. The information in which God fed to me ten years ago is entirely accurate and everything in which I have done since then was not in vain but in fact acting on a really good tip. God showed me the future including who I would become. And God showed me specifically the person in which I would be preaching with. And that person is you my dear. God showed me what was to come with precision. God gave me the winning lottery numbers for His daughter's hand in marriage.
Marriage with the queen was to be my reward for my toils teaching her. It may appear as if I am not being rewarded for my work but I very much am. My work is just being rewarded in the future and not the now. God doesn't lie so I have complete faith in what was shown to me. And the people will see it happen as two public figures unite into one. Can you imagine what will happen once we find each other my love? It will be so funny and so romantic.
I don't celebrate any specific holidays as all of our human holidays are adapted from pagan holidays. However, I do enjoy celebrating. I would especially enjoy a celebration in which we are to reflect over the past year. However, I don't live a life currently with people in it who would celebrate my accomplishments. So I live a life without any form of celebration. I don't want to live like this. I really want to live a life where we celebrate our accomplishments but you can only do that with people who also value your accomplishments. So my life is spent without celebration, only waiting for you to begin the celebrations. For finding you will be the most worthy celebration possible. And that will begin the rest of our lives celebrating God's amazing work. For in truth, God's work is the only work worth celebrating.
Living a life without celebration for major accomplishments is very lonely. But as I stated before, I don't work for the moment but instead the future. In my future I see you. And in my future I see us celebrating every worthwhile accomplishment, which means we will constantly be celebrating. Because we are constantly producing very moving and inspirational work. And work like this deserves to be celebrated.
What is true celebration? Who God is and what God does for us deserves to be celebrated daily.
"My mouth is filled with your praise, declaring your splendor all day long."
Psalm 71:8
"Clap your hands all peoples! Shout to God with loud songs of joy."
Psalm 47:1
Maybe I don't celebrate like normal people but I celebrate God every day. Currently it is very lonely doing this as I don't see many people who truly believe in God. For if they believed and saw what I see, they would immediately fall on their knees and sing praises of God's grace. I don't see people doing this so this makes me believe that there are not many true believers in God. When God is seen, God cannot be unseen. One would be a fool to see God and then do anything other than giving your entire life to Him. It is easy to spot saved individuals. Because they will be saved and such enlightenment is easy to identify. Faith is extremely easy to live within if we have seen God. I know that I am in the best hands possible and I don't need to worry about my future. Because my future is God's and as a result, God's future. I am God's future because I chose myself to represent God and the wishes of God are my goals to implement onto society. I am God's representative in this fallen world. God has given me the task of integrating Heaven into Earth. I am God's advocate and I have many messages from God to deliver to this corrupt world. Because if we don't change then there will be detrimental consequences.
But we will change. God isn't asking us this time, He is forcing us. Those who refuse this essential upgrade will be eternally damned. In order to protect ourselves from the hunting soul reaper, we must upgrade our software. This software update will be discussed in more detail in the following chapter.
So even though it is Christmas Day and I am alone at my house while the rest of the population parties it up, I celebrate. While secular society celebrates their wasted lives, I sit here and carefully reflect on the past year and what it all means. Because to the lay person, the year was uneventful. But our years can never be uneventful. For I released four books and began the development of a game. For we have made a grave error. Jesus did not come here to show us how to live a secular life. So they celebrate Jesus without Jesus. They celebrate his death while forgetting about his life. For it is the life of Jesus in which carries his message. But we have debased his life down to his birth and death. The true celebration is not his birth or death but instead what he did in life. Devaluing a great gift such as the life of Jesus given freely to the public is directly responsible for our wicked actions. For in this time I will celebrate his life... my life.