There’s been a few times in my life that the cops have actually helped me instead of their usual and constant hassling. I mean, how many of you have been told to move along with threats of jail for simply standing on the sidewalk or camping on a beach or in the woods? Or had a cop check out the cigarette you’re smoking just to make sure it ain’t pot? Or been pulled over in your car for: Your door looked ajar. Your high beams on in within the city limits. There’s dirt on your license plate? I’ve never been ticketed for any of this but it takes the cops an hour or more just to ‘check you out’ to make sure I’m not an escaped ax murderer.
Sometimes they even ask permission to search your vehicle and if you’re stupid enough to give it to them then, after they’re finished ripping your car apart, it will take another hour for you to put everything back in it that they tore out and left laying on the ground. However, as they leave they will almost always tell you to ‘have a nice day.’ just to show you how nice they are and that it’s nothing personal. But it is personal, because if it’s not, then how come it’s only Black, Latino and Freek males they harass. After all, you never see white people being told they are loitering so, “Move it along or I’ll move you.” or driving a car and being stopped for, “It looked like your left rear wheel is wobbling so you’d better check your lug nuts. Oh and by the way, could you show me your license and registration? And you’re not carrying anything illegal now, are you?” But there have been those few times...
Dallas: It’s early morning rush hour and the cars are really whizzing by. I got dropped off right on the freeway near some big interchange close to the center of the city and there are no off ramps as far as I can see. Looks like I’m going to be here for awhile because no one is even slowing down. The reason I’m here is; I got a ride from some young redneck who after a chat about California asked me if I liked niggers?
I smiled telling him, “Yes sir, I like them just fine seeing as I’m a white nigger myself.”
He hit the brakes and told me to get the fuck out of his car! So here I am.
Damn! A cop car is pulling over and I just bet hitching on the freeway is totally illegal in Dallas. A young looking white State Trooper wearing sunglasses gets out of the car. He walks up to me, looks me over then says, “What the hell are you doing out here? Don’t you know it’s unlawful for a pedestrian to be on a freeway in Texas?”
I certainly don’t want a ticket and this being Texas I can’t tell him I’m a nigger lover so since all cops hate gays I tell him, “Yes sir I do, but the queer who dropped me off here was molesting me so I told him to let me out.”
He shook his head saying, “Fucking faggots! You were right to get out. Come on I’ll give ya a ride to an off ramp. Your not armed, are you?”
I tell him I’m not as we walk back to the car.
I throw my stuff in back the ride up front with the cop. He tells me to belt in then gets on the radio and says he transporting a transient to the city limits. He turns to me saying, “We won’t be needing this.” as he turns off the squawk. He asks if I like hard rock.
I do.
He turns on a cassette deck that’s on the floor of his car, inserts a cassette and within a few seconds Grace Slick and the boys are pounding out “White Rabbit”. The cop hits the gas and we are gone. We cruise down the freeway at 90 mile per hour passing everything in sight with the sounds of the Jefferson Airplane blaring out the windows at full volume.
The cop drives me all the way out of the Dallas municipal area until we are out in the country. He gets off the freeway and stops. He says, “Well, this is as far as I can take you. I’m sure you’ll catch a ride here soon. Just make sure you stay off the freeway.”
We get out of the cop car and I retrieve my backpack then thank him for the lift. The cop shakes my hand wishing me good luck then he gets back in his car and goes tearing back up the freeway the way we came.
Salt Lake City: I’m standing on an on ramp heading west. I’ve just spent the night in the most politically contentious commune outside of Berkeley that I’d ever been in. SLC is a nice city too. It’s real clean and almost all of the folks are friendly which is how I got to the commune in the first place. I met a hippie in a restaurant, we got to talking and when he found out I needed a place to crash he didn’t even hesitate. He said I could stay at his place as long as I wanted. As long as I wanted turned out to be about 10 minutes.
Every body there was arguing, I mean ‘discussing’, every little thing with everyone else. The radicals and the moderates, the ethnics and the whites, and the worse, the feminist and the males. Every where there were notes about everything, little reminders, pasted up all over the house. My favorite one was: Dear Male Chauvinist PIGS, Have some Consideration and Leave the Seat DOWN! This was right above the toilet. At first I thought they probably meant “put” instead of “leave”. However, then I figured these were intelligent chicks who knew exactly what they wanted so I left the seat down making sure I peed all over it. Whether or not this caused any ‘discussions’ I don’t know because I went out into the back yard and spent the night there. Next morning after using the toilet again, I left. I walked around the city a little, had a light breakfast and now, here I am.
What’s this? A cop car is stopping. What the hell does he want? I ain’t doing anything illegal. An older cop gets out of the car. He walks over to me and asks to see some ID. As I show some to him I ask if it’s unlawful to hitch on an on ramp? He says, “No, I just wanted to see who you are.”
After a moment he hands me back the ID then says, “Get in the car. I got something I want to talk to you about.”
This does not sound good to Tai. But what can I do? He tells me to get in front. I get in. Now what? He says, “You look like you’re pretty fit. Ever do any agricultural work?”
I nod.
“Well,” He continues, “my brother owns of a potato shed and right now he’s a little short handed. He pays $5 an hour plus he’ll give you a place to stay for the season. It’s kind of far out of town so if you want the work, I’ll take you over to my house where you can spend the day then tonight I’ll drive you up there. What do you say?”
I really don’t want to work in a potato shed up in the boonies but I sure don’t want to insult the cop either so I say, ”It’s a mighty nice offer but I really have to get back to California as soon as I can. You see I just found out my dad broke his leg and my mom needs some help caring for him. But thanks for the offer.”
The cop looks at me saying, “Then I guess I’d better help you on your way.” He puts the car in D and hits the accelerator. He drives me right out of town until we get to the salt flats. He pulls over, turns to me and says, “There’s lots of traffic so you should get a ride from here fairly easy. And good luck with your father.”
I thank him as I exit the cruiser. The cop waves as he pulls away. Plus he was right, I got a ride a couple minutes later.
Cleveland: I just got off work and am walking down the street with my back pack minding my own business when I see a cop car pull to the curb. I hear, “Hey you. Come here.”
I walk over to the cop as he gets out of his vehicle. When I get to the car he asks for the usual ID and what am I doing here.
I tell him that I just got off work working a day job for ManPower and am now on my way out of town into the country where I can put up my tent and spend the night. After that I’ll be hitching towards New York.
He nods his head like this satisfies him. He hands me back my ID then says, “You don’t need to leave town to find a place to sleep. I’ll take you down to the Salvation Army, they have facilities for homeless men so you can spend the night there.”
Even though I’d rather sleep out in the woods I’m too tired to argue with a cop about it. Instead, I tell him it sounds like a plan to me.
He tells me to get in the car.
I do.
As he’s driving he asks me about my life on the road. I tell him that even though it’s hard I really like it. It’s great being totally free, always going new places and meeting interesting people.
He tells me he has a runaway 17-year-old son and hopes his son is all right.
I say his son is probably having a ball.
Soon he pulls over in front of the Salivation Army Headquarters. He wishes me good luck as I get out of the car.
I tell him not to worry too much about his son, “He’ll come home when he gets tired of the road.” I say.
He says, “I hope so.” then pulls away.
I shoulder my pack and walk into the Sallie. I go up to the receptionist, a young guy dressed in a Salvation Army uniform. He smiles and asks how may he help me? I tell him I’m homeless and need a place to crash. Still smiling he says that right now they don’t have any accommodations to house homeless men.
I say I thought the Salvation Army always had a place for the homeless.
He says, “Oh, we do. But right now all our facilities are being taken up by either people with children or single women. All single males are being referred to State Social Services.”
I ask if he’s kidding. He looks at me like I’m stupid then says condescendingly, “Well, you could always stay at the YMCA."
I tell him it cost $7 a night to stay at the Y and I just busted my butt all day for a measly $10.
He smiles again saying, “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do for you.”
I stand there glaring at him.
He says, “Please, you’re going to have to leave or I’ll be forced to call the cops.” smiling smugly, “Then you’ll get a free night in jail.”
I say, “You fucking little officious Christian asshole. I can only hope someday you’ll be in need and that you get to deal with some body exactly like you.”
He blinks then frowns as he reaches for the phone saying, “Are you leaving?”
I turn and walk out the door. Hell, I never wanted to stay there in the first place. I’d much rather sleep under the stars. As I walk away I think, ‘it’s pretty funny when a cop cares more about your welfare a member of a Christian organization.
Being what I am I’ve had many dealings with the cops in the last 30 years of my adult life and these are the only times I can remember that a policeman did something for me without hassling me first. Others have helped me out but they always had to harass or threaten me first. Then after deciding not to take me to jail and sometimes ticketing me, they would begrudgingly either let me go or take me to the edge of their beat just to get rid of me. The only reason some didn’t arrest me was, as they told me, “You’re not worth my time or the paperwork.”
I don’t understand why it has to be this way, because I believe that we really do need the police. We certainly need them to take care of the violent among us. We need them to settle disputes between us before they turn ugly. We need them to keep us safe from the thieves, the vandals, the drunken drivers and from all whom would harm us. But we don’t need them enforcing stupid laws that tell us how to live our lives as long as we live together peacefully. Just because out lawmakers are a bunch of idiotic moralistic control freaks doesn’t mean the police have to obey them. After all, when the rich and powerful are caught breaking the very laws they’ve made, what happens to them? We all know the answer to that one: NOTHING! They get off with a slap on the wrist while the rest of us go to jail for having a little harmless fun.
So here’s an invitation to join us my brothers in blue. Fuck the lawyers, the politicians, the rich and the powerful. Hell, they neither like nor respect you anyway. To them you’re just the lowly pawns who keep them in power and they buy you off cheap, but you know that. Join us simply because you already are one of us and we need you.