A few years ago I had a friend named Short Dog. He was a regular guy from the hips up but he was born with only a couple of stumps for legs. These he had special boots for so he could get around just fine. Of course, he had everything he owned modified for living with no legs. When you went in his house everything was built real close to the floor and his car had all hand controls. He owned a saloon where he tended bar. He simply put a board up behind the bar that he could walk along serving his customers. He told me if anyone ever got out of hand he’d grab his sawed off pool cue then jump up on the bar and threaten them with it. He said when that happened all but the most drunk would be so surprised seeing this pissed off guy with no legs standing on the bar that they would immediately cool their jets.
Whenever someone first met Short Dog they would always be interested about the stumps. If they then asked him about his legs, this is the story he would tell; “It’s quite a tale.” Short Dog would say, “Ya see, one day I was walking down the beach when I came upon an old lamp laying in the sand. Of course I’d heard all about Aladdin so I was curious if this particular lamp had any magic in it. I picked it up and started rubbing. And sure enough a great big puff of steam came shooting out of its mouth, which turned right into a Genie. He looked just like the ones you see in books with a turban on his head and wearing those puffy clothes all over his body. He even had the up pointed shoes on his feet."
"He bows to me and says, “I am the Genie of the Lamp! For freeing me I will grant you 1 wish. So what will it be, Master?”
"I’m so shocked I can’t say a word."
"The Genie looks at me saying, “Come on, I don’t have all day. You want your 1 wish or not?”
"I find my voice saying, “One wish? I thought I got 3 wishes?”
"The Genie says, “I ain’t that kind of Genie. If you want your 1 wish make it now or I’m splitting.”
"I start thinking, ‘what the hell is it I want most. Let’s see: Fortune? Fame? Long life? To become Ruler Of The World? Damn, there’s just so much.’
"The Genie says, “Either make your 1 wish or I’m leaving. Come on, what’s it going to be?”
"Without thinking, I blurt out, “I want a dick that drags on the ground!”
"The Genie bows and smiles saying, “Your wish is my command.”
"Then he whips out a long sharp sword and cuts off my legs! He then claps his hands and disappears leaving me screaming at him, “That’s not what I meant! I just wanted a huge cock. Come back! Please!”
"But it’s too late, the Genie’s gone and so are my legs.”
Leaning back Short Dog would then smile and say, “You know though I really can’t complain, I did get my wish.”