HOWDY NEIGHBOR
It's the beginning of summer here in the tipi field and that means it's Party Time! A time when a lot of the city freeks start showing up to get wild, naked, stoned and free in the country. One day Gyro pulls in telling everyone here that he just found out that a certain Yogi Bhajan of the 3H (Healthy, Happy, Holy) movement had bought a lot of acres on the other side of the mountain from us and has set up shop. After smoking a few doobies we decided to jump in Gyro’s van and pay the dude a welcome wagon visit. Of course we make sure to take some supplies with us to party with the Guru. We were sure he was cool being a Yogi and all.
Here's his driveway so Gyro pulls in but we don't get too far before we come to a big iron gate with a lock on it. There's a sign that say to honk for assistance. Gyro does, and we wait for about 5 minutes. While we are waiting we figure we mise as well burn one just for fun. At as we're finishing up the doobie a white dude dressed like an Indian turban and all comes up to the inside of the gate.
We get out of the van and I say, “Howzit hangin' dude? We're your neighbors from just over the other side of the mountain and though we like to welcome Yogi Bhajan to the neighborhood.”
The white-Indian guy looks at us disdainfully and says, “First of all you can't just show up here and except an audience with His Holiness. Everyone is required to make an appointment.”
So Gyro breaks in saying, “Well then just make us an appointment and we'll come back next week, all official and all.”
The Yogi waana be, continues, “You just can't make an appointment with His Holiness unless he knows you already. The only way for a seeker to be granted an audience with The Master is to join the commune then work for 6 months with nothing negative on your record. Only then would you be allowed in the presence of His Holiness Yogi Bhajan.”
We ask if he's kidding, he has to be, right? But no, the dude's completely serious so we have no other recourse than to tell him what we think of him, his commune and of course, His AssHoliness Yogi BlowJob!
The creep is not amused and tells that we'll have to go or, get this, he'd be forced to call the authorities! After a little more harassing him and insulting His Fuckoliness we jump in the van and are gone.
I had met a Yogi's a year or so before at a commune in the city and was hardly impressed by his enlightenment. It seemed to me that even thought he preached that everything and everyone in the universe were equal, he all acted like he was way better than the rest of us mere mortals. And that hypocritical shit just don't fly.