THE QUEST TO FIND YOUR QUEEN
Welcome to the Club
The day has come and you are ready to step on to that plane. The moment you do, you become part of that top 3% who took action.
In the few days ahead of you, you will join with 19 other guys and you’ll be introduced to several hundred women. I am not exaggerating. It’s an amazing experience that I will walk you through shortly.
But first, I have to enjoy this moment with you.
I am a man in his 40’s who is married to a wonderful lady in her 20’s. She’s a brilliant woman who keeps me feeling young and alive. She has a life and vibrancy about her that is hard to explain. She adds joy, entertainment, and sensual stimulation to my life each day. I also love the attention she draws from other men here in America, because she is so beautiful. I know her heart is mine so I can just bask in the ‘eat-your-hearts-out’ glow without any jealousy. She loves flashing her wedding ring at them. She daily reminds me that she loves me and that she is mine.
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Often a guy will ask, “Does she have a sister?” To which I reply, “Yes, thousands of them!”
But they’ll never find out if they don’t get on a plane and go on the quest for themselves. But you have. For that, you and I are now kindred spirits in a very small club of guys who DO know something the rest may never know.
Welcome to the club.
The Travel
Once you get to your departing airport, you will get the first chance to meet up with your travel host and the other guys who are going on your trip. You are all now part of that International Dating fraternity - even before you have met one girl in person. There is a buzz of excitement and expectation among the group. You’ll swap stories about girls you’ve written to. I had one guy on my trip that had been writing to the same girl I had been. We both went out on dates with her when we were in that city, but in the end, we both found deeper connections with other girls. Don’t get jealous or possessive. There are more than enough for everyone – you are only looking for one that you connect with when you meet in person.
If you haven’t traveled overseas very much, the trip may seem long, but it’s also invigorating. Everything is new.
Once you land at your destination city you will be met by a coordinator who will take you to your bus and on to your hotel. Don’t be so focused on finding your queen that you miss the reality of your surroundings. You are in a new country you may have never been 96 | P a g e
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to before – and who knows when you’ll be back again. Build your fascination with your surrounding culture even now. Having conversations about this country will be much easier later if you are genuinely interested.
You will already have an itinerary and plan for your trip. First up will be an introduction to the translators. I was surprised by how many there were. There was nearly the same number of translators (all of them women) as there were guys in the group! After introductions and basic instructions, we broke and had a chance to talk to them and ask questions.
Four of us guys who made an instant connection during our travels, decided to make a night of it. So we invited four translators out for dinner. We walked through the heart of the city and found a Benihana®-style of Japanese restaurant the girls suggested. Because of that dinner I made a wonderful friend in one of the translators that has continued even to this day. I never did use her for translating. These were just fun people to be around.
Before we talk about the actual introduction events, I want to say something about working with translators. It is human nature to be lazy. I had this thought that since there were so many women I would only talk to those who already spoke English. I will forever be grateful that I changed my tune on that subject. If I had only talked to English-speaking girls I never would have made the connection with the woman who would become my wife.
You see, my wife and I only communicated through a translator for the first two and a half months of our relationship. Obviously, she picked up English quickly once she started going to the English classes three times/week after we first met. Within three months we were communicating directly and never needed a translator again.
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This is a very professional group of translators. They taught us how to work with them.
The secret is fairly simple: always communicate directly with the girl. Look into her eyes and talk to her in plain English with full expression as you would with anybody who spoke fluent English. Wait for a couple of seconds for the translator to tell her what you said – and the girl will communicate back in like kind. You will be amazed at how you can connect with someone and even feel a powerful energy with them. We talked so freely, it became as if there were no translator. I knew Anna was the one after one hour on our first date.
Using a translator is part of your story and adventure. You may end up with a girl that already speaks English. It seems like half of them have some English skills. But you don’t want to cut yourself off from half of your prospects – especially since I can tell you that my eternal joy was found among the other half of the girls.
The Introduction events
I want to quickly cover three aspects of the introduction events . . .
Getting ready and getting in the right frame of mind;
What to expect (the short version);
What this is like – the first-person perspective
. . . and, of course, my favorite Ukraine story:
How I met Anna
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Getting Ready and Getting in the Right Frame of Mind This is about fun. This is about enjoying and being yourself. But you want to be your best self. "What do you mean by that, Mark? I know how to be myself", you might say.
Well, let's examine that for a moment. Have you ever played golf? Have you ever heard the saying, "Beer is the best accuracy enhancer"? If you do play, you know exactly what I'm talking about. For those who don't, let me briefly explain. The best golf you will ever play is when you are relaxed and you really don't care about impressing anyone.
The hard part is staying in that mental state - isn't that true, golfers? You know it is!
When you are working too hard to improve your score, it can actually hurt your game.
You can swing too hard or lift your head at the wrong time. The results are disastrous.
But, when you start to relax again, guess what? Your game starts to improve.
So, here comes the trick question: Were you being yourself when you were relaxed or when you were trying too hard? The answer is you were yourself in both instances. How could that be when the results were so dramatically different? Because the truth is that you are your BEST self when you are in that zone of good energy. No, I am not suggesting you drink before the introduction event. In fact, you should stay sharp. You should just like being you and you will enjoy this adventure no matter what the outcome.
What to Expect (The Short Version)
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Get dressed in a way that shows good taste. Not necessarily a suit, but contemporary fashion.
You and the guys will walk together down to the room where the introduction event is being held. In some cases it’s a banquet hall. On other occasions it’s held at a night club (or disco as they will call it). The room will have many tables set up. There will be a buffet and Champaign. Sometimes the ladies have already come in and are seated at the tables. In other instances, you are seated and they walk in single file.
The agenda for the evening is divided into two segments: conversation and then dancing.
You’ll be encouraged to go from table to table introducing yourself and striking up some conversations with the ladies there. You’ll spend a few minutes at each table and make note if any particular girl catches your attention. You’ll set up a time to go out on a date with her in one of the two following days. Your goal is to connect with two to five ladies and go on dates while you are in that city.
After two hours of going from table to table, the lights are dimmed and the disc jockey hits the music and the dancing begins. P-A-R-T-Y-T-I-M-E!!
The following day next day you’ll spend that day (or two) in that city, dating those women you connected with the night before, then move on to the next city for a complete repeat of the process. Are you ready?
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That was the short version. Now, let’s walk through this in real time. I’ll tell the story in the first-person so you get the idea.
I was in a great mood. I’ve really come to like some of the guys in the group and hope we maintain a friendship after this trip. We walk just a short distance from our hotel to where the large banquet room is located. As I walk behind a few of the guys it is hard to see past them. I see some ladies sitting at tables outside of the banquet room with the agency staff. I assume they’re doing their profile interviews. Other women were in line to have their pictures taken. They told us that this is when many of the profile applicants are processed – now I can see it in action.
As I walked into the large room it had very high ceiling and a stage to the left where a disc jockey had set up. He was playing music with good energy but the volume was low enough I could easily converse with anyone. Just to the right was the buffet table where several ladies were just picking up their drinks and some cheese and fruit to snack on.
I stopped to look at the room. Half of it was just open floor – presumably where the dancing would take place later. The other half had 30 or more round tables arranged in a way so people could walk around them. Each table could probably seat eight people. I saw girls seated at most of the tables. Some tables hosted just a lady or two, while others had up to six seated. I would guess that about 125 ladies were already seated in the room.
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My first introduction event was in Odessa, Ukraine. I am in the black suit on the lower left.
Some of the guys went right up to a table and started talking. I wondered how they would start off. I grabbed a drink and paused to scope the prospects. Wow. So many. It seemed that the average age was mid- to late-20’s. Some appeared to be in their 30’s, but only a few appeared to be older. Several caught my attention and I immediately started making my plan on which tables I wanted to visit.
OK, here we go.
I went up to a table of four ladies where I was interested in one of the girls. I just started out, “Good evening ladies. How are you all doing?” Three of them responded together, “Very well, thank you.” I was surprised to hear English from all of them. I recognized one of them as one of the translators I met earlier.
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The conversation started out as small talk. “How do you like our city so far?” they would ask. “It fascinates me. It is much larger than I thought it would be.” I commented. “It even feels bigger when you have to walk it every day!” one of them laughed. “What is your city like? Is it cold like this in the winter?”
“The weather in California? Haven’t you heard that we only have beaches and everyone wears bathing suits every day?” We all laughed.
Thus, the ice was broken. It was much easier than I thought it would be. The translator told a great joke. The girls talked about how they enjoy dancing. Everyone seemed to have seen more American movies than I had, so that made for an easy topic for conversation.
I was having such a good time that I didn’t want to leave the table, but I knew I only had two hours of this part of the introduction event to get dates for the next two days. I asked the translator if I could talk to her. We got up from the table and I pointed out the girl I was interested in. I didn’t want to offend the others at the table. She talked to the girl on her own and set up a date for the next morning.
Whew! One down!
On a side note, just go ahead and set up the dates when you’re at the introduction event.
You are short on time. Just getting the girls’ cell phone number is less effective when she is right there. Also, the translators know many of these girls themselves. They can also guide you to some that fit your description of your ideal girl – since you already have that defined from our exercise earlier in Chapter 2.
I’m feeling great now! I was ready to go again. I looked for one of the other girls who caught my attention earlier. She has two guys at her table, so I looked to the next one.
There she is – and she is alone.
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I went up to her table and said, “Hi, my name is Mark.” She replied, “Previet”, and then waved a friend over to join us. Her friend said, “Hello, my name is Olya. My friend, Sveta, does not speak English, but I’d be happy to help translate for the two of you.”
“That would be awesome,” I said. “How long have you two been friends?” That conversation was a delight. They told stories from childhood and asked me question after question about my life. We laughed and had a great time. I asked if she was available for a date the next afternoon, since I knew I had one set for the morning. She had to work the next day, but was free the day after. We set it up and I got her cell phone number.
Later I arranged for one of the translators from the agency to join us. I felt like I was on a roll! I now had two dates with two gorgeous women in their early 20’s that were a delight to be with! One hour left before the dancing – next table!
I was really enjoying myself now – so I intentionally looked for a table where a lot of ladies were seated. I walked up and said, “Good evening ladies. You are looking very lovely tonight. I have a problem and I need your assistance. You see this sweater I am wearing. A young woman at a store in my city helped me pick it out. She said that this was in fashion. Would this be good fashion in Ukraine?” Talk about hitting a hot topic.
They could talk about fashion like it was a guy talking about cars! And I did it without talking about their fashion – which could be a problem since women are generally competitive in regards to fashion. But they all want to help their men look good. I spent fifteen minutes with them and thanked them for such an enjoyable time.
I looked around and found the other girl I had been previously interested in before. She was at a table with her friends, but no other guys from our group were there, so I went over. Surprisingly, the conversation was dead, so I just excused myself, wished them a 104 | P a g e
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lovely evening, and moved on. I was having too much fun to spend a lot of time where there was no energy.
Then, in mid-conversation with a table of four other beauties, the lights dimmed and the disc jockey turned up the music. He didn’t have to ask twice – the dancing started and could have gone all night! You can’t help but dance with two or more ladies at any given time while you’re on the dance floor.
This was the scene from the third introduction event in Kherson. So many ladies
– so little time!
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These lovely ladies were great company
By the end of that first introduction event I had four dates lined up for the next two days. After the dance wrapped up and people started to leave, I asked one of the girls if she’d take me out for a late night on the town. She took me to two of her favorite discos.
These were amazing night clubs – part of a chain from Germany. I had the time of my life.
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This is Anastasia. She gave me the tour of the local dance clubs that night and we met up
again the next day to tour Odessa.
Every Introduction Event Makes the Next One Better I have to give credit to my friend John for this observation. As I was reliving the introduction event experience with him, I told him how great the last introduction event was in Kherson. I said, “It was an amazing atmosphere. The girls were in a great mood and ready to party. It was so comfortable. I remember being waved over to a table of 107 | P a g e
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girls who wanted me to join them. It was crazy fun! The night was filled with laughter, dancing, stories, tons of flirting and lots of energy.”
That’s when John chimed in and said, “It sounds like you went from prom night for Revenge of the Nerds to Animal House!” I told him that he was right on the money.
Then he dropped this great wisdom on me, “Did it ever occur to you that you were just more familiar with the way these things went by the third time you had done it and the girls were responding to your groups’ energy and anticipation?”
Wow. He was right! What if it had been the third or fourth introduction event for all of us in the first city? Wouldn’t we have created the same energy and party atmosphere?
Without a doubt we would have! So, how can we make every city like the last? That is one of my goals here. By giving you the first-person walk through; I want you to be able to go to your first introduction event like it was something you’d done before.
An Experience for Every Man
John also confessed to me that the introduction event format seemed a little intimidating to him. He declared that he’s more of a one-on-one kind of guy.
I’m glad he said something. Not every man engages in this kind of introduction experience the same way. I have shared my experience, and it is typical. As I’ve shared this with other guys who have been on these Dating vacations, they have re-affirmed how accurately it described their experience as well. But you don’t have to approach it the same way everyone does. Each man can use this forum to suit their own style.
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While I was in each city, the tour director would tell me that he had someone he thought I would appreciate meeting. He’d lead me over to a table and introduce me to a wonderful woman and we’d talk, just the two of us, for a while.
In one case, the woman he wanted me to meet was sitting at a table outside of the introduction event where the interviews were being conducted. The director was bringing a new guy to meet her every 20 minutes or so. This was an amazing woman. She was already an attorney at age 24. She was very comfortable with herself, but her life was not complete without a good man. I enjoyed speaking with her. She seemed to think I was a good guy and I was amazed how quickly we connected. However, I could see by the way we were seated at the table that she was most likely a very tall woman. In the end, I asked her to stand up with me. Sure enough, she was at least two inches taller and I am 5’9”. If it weren’t for that physical requirement on my part, I would have actively pursued her.
The point is that you can make your experience all about one-on-one dates if you wish.
I just hope you can open up to experience the larger introduction event format once you get comfortable. It will fill your senses. The guys at home will have to live vicariously through you – but you lived it!
My Story of Meeting Anna
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Earlier in Chapter Two I mentioned the letters I exchanged with Kristina. She is the one who asked what a woman could do to make me happy every day. I also gave you an example of one of her letters in Chapter Six. Well, we continued writing and had agreed to meet in Nikolaev; the next city on the tour. I have to be honest with you that I had high hopes that Kristina would be “the one” based on the depth of the letters we had exchanged.
When we got to the next town and we walked into the disco where the introduction event was being held, I immediately found one of the agency staff and asked about her.
Soon we were sitting at a table just the two of us. She looked every bit as beautiful as her pictures. I wasn’t sure what to say. My expectations were so high that I was quite nervous. Eventually, we started to talk, but she kept watching the door looking for a friend of hers to arrive.
This was certainly not the magic I was expecting would happen between us. Maybe it was all on my side. But how could that be true when she wrote such wonderful things in her letters? Then she dropped the bomb on me. She said her work was far away from the agency and she didn’t have time to answer all of my letters so she had her sister write back to me most of the time.
I was completely taken back. I didn’t know how to respond. In retrospect I guess I should have asked to meet her sister! I excused myself and wished her a wonderful evening, but it took me the best part of an hour to recover.
The dancing started so I decided I’d just find someone to dance with and shake it off. I danced with this adorable blond girl who had fantastic energy. I left her for a moment 110 | P a g e
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while visiting with another girl and one of the guys started dancing with the blond girl –
and never left her side.
This is the disco where the second introduction event was hosted in Nikolaev. Yes, I’m in this photo too – dancing with the cute blond.
I moped for a little longer and then realized that there were only 40 minutes left in the entire event – and I didn’t even have one date lined up!
Listen, if it happens that you don’t make a connection at the introduction event; don’t worry. The agency staffers know most of the local girls and have the book of profiles with them. If you just meet up with them the next morning and tell them about the kind of girl you are looking for, they will go through the profiles with you that they might 111 | P a g e
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recommend and see which ones you respond to. They can get on the phone with the girls and have you completely scheduled for the next two days!
Now, back to my 40 minutes left at the introduction event and no dates . . .
I decided that I had to find someone – and it mattered even less who it was by this point. I scanned the room for someone who looked interesting that I hadn’t connected with yet. From the upper level I could see all the way across the room to two girls who were in the back corner sitting by themselves. And I know they weren’t there earlier.
Well, they looked cute from 100 feet away and they were alone so I marched toward them, passing across the dance floor as I went.
I walked up to the table and said, “Hi, I’m Mark,” in a cheery, yet relaxed voice. They both appeared to be in their early-20’s and very lovely indeed. One was blond and the other a red head. The blond answered first, “I’m Anna.” Then the red head chimed in,
“and I’m Anna.”
“You’re both Anna?” I asked. They both smiled and nodded. “Whew. I’ve had a long day and that will make it much easier on me tonight. Thank you!” They both laughed.
Since the party was winding down, I decided to go ahead and ask them both out right then and there, “I have never been to your city before and I have no plans for this evening. Would you mind if I just took both of you out to dinner tonight? I’d love to just walk through your city and let you show me what there is to see. It just sounded like a better way to end the day.”
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They looked at each other and gladly agreed. Can you just see me now as I walked out that door with one beautiful woman on each arm! We walked through the streets and they told me about the statues and the main street. We ended up at a wonderful sushi restaurant that overlooked the town square.
Later I looked up the profile photos of Anna Blond and Anna Red. In my book, having both of these ladies as my date was better than going out with twins!
Anna Red, as I called her – had a very animated personality and made conversation easy. Anna Blond was more reserved, but her smile captivated me. Her eyes told me that there was a deeper soul lurking below the surface. At some point during dinner I just felt a connection to Anna-Blond that I still find hard to describe. It was like an electrical 113 | P a g e
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connection – a bolt of lightning. Something inside me was drawn to her. I was hungry to know more about her. She fascinated me with a curiosity I couldn’t let go.
As the dinner was starting to wind down, I asked them both out on dates for the next day. How could I not when they were both at the same table with me. I set up a date for Anna-Blond for 1:00 and Anna-Red for 4:00 the next day. Anna-Red needed to take a taxi to get home. I paid for dinner and gave her enough money for her taxi ride. Anna-Blond was going to walk home so I asked if I could walk with her.
As we walked I asked her if Anna-Red was a friend of hers. She said no; that they had just met that night. I said I was glad to hear it, because I really wasn’t interested in her.
It was a cold night in the mid 30’s. I asked if I could hold her hand. I said I would not normally ask such a thing after a first date, but I am only here for five more days it changes some things from the norm. She said, “My hands are warm in my pocket.” I told her my hands would keep hers warm. She agreed and we he