Trapped in Memories
I expected that memories would fade with time and I would get my heart back. But it never happened. They just grew in leaps
and bounds. I started dreaming of Abhi almost every night and even found myself thinking of him during day time. In a
desperate attempt to get rid of the pain, I sought Rajiv’s company more often. We were the talk of the town in the hospital and
everybody expected us to announce our engagement soon, except Rajiv. By now he knew me better. He understood how
deep Abhi runs in my system and stopped suggesting anything about love. He once said that assessing my love, he
developed higher regard for Abhi. Coming from Rajiv, it is indeed a big compliment and quite correct for Abhi. He is my hero.
Come what may, my admiration for Abhi is never going to change. He might seem rough and savage on the exterior, but he is
very soft from inside. He is a soft hearted person longing to work towards the emancipation of the poor. Leaving a lucrative
career and risking life in jungles is not an easy thing to do. I know that I shouldn’t keep thinking about Abhi and his virtues, but
that is out of control.
I actually did some background research about Abhi, after coming back to the city. Though I knew that Ahhi will never
appreciate this, I went through the alumni records of our medical college and tried to call his batch mates. Through them, I
came to know that he was famous for his passion for poetry and topper of his batch too. Most of his classmates remember him
fondly and talked a great deal about his kind nature and his involvement in charities at that time. According to them, he wanted
to work in villages after completing his studies, to help the poor. But nobody seems to know what happened to him after
graduation.
All they knew was that he got a government job as a doctor in some rural village and left right after convocation. They were
equally puzzled about my enquiry about him, but I said something vague about wanting to publish something related to alumni
and hung up. I don’t know what made Abhi change his path from his job to the jungle, but I am sure that there must be some
valid reason like that of Vijaya.
I kept all this information to myself and didn’t even discuss it with Maria. I don’t want anybody to think that I have illusions
about getting back with Abhi. I know how impossible it is. Abhi is dedicated to his work, whatever it is and I am sure that he
never thought about me after our parting that day. I maintained a cool and calm composure for my parents and friends and
went on with my daily life as if nothing happened.
I have to give some credit to Rajiv, because it is his friendship that made it easy for me to do all this. Slowly he started to
accompany me to my painting exhibitions and other get-togethers related to my art world. I used to take Maria or my mom to
these events before, but they were never as active as Rajiv. His liveliness and zest for life gave me the new energy I so
required. As a token of appreciation, I started going to his parties whenever I had time. They were not that bad and Rajiv never
left my side like other men. He is a great dancer and drags me to the dance floor whenever he gets a chance. I unearthed all
my party clothes from my cupboards and started using them. I should have known that I have to face the side effects of this
closeness. How stupid am I?
Within two months, mom also started passing comments like “Where is the engagement ring? And “How long should Rajiv
wait?”. Maria developed a close friendship with Anupama aunty and kept telling how nice my life would be if I marry Rajiv.
Anywhere I went; all I got to hear was Rajiv’s name and enquires about my marriage.
The final nail came from our HOD. He is an elderly man and a scholar too. I was dumbfounded when he called me to his office
and congratulated me for choosing a fine man like Rajiv. He even gave me some suggestions for controlling Rajiv’s
naughtiness after marriage. He complimented that we were a good match and I was too irritated to even say thank you or
anything for that matter.
I was very busy at the hospital throughout the day and didn’t even have lunch because of the rush. I was exhausted, hungry
and irritated. I tried to keep my cool all day and this brainless HOD chose this very fine day to give me his congratulatory
speech. My mood was so foul, that I just wanted to kick anybody within sight. After office, I didn’t wait to say bye to Rajiv like I
do every day. I just put a poker face and stormed out of hospital, once the time was up and drove my car furiously.
By the time I reached home it was almost 8:00 pm. I was thinking about skipping dinner and go straight upstairs, but my mom
was ready to interrogate me about Rajiv, the moment I stepped in. Oh no, not again. I lost patience and yelled at her. First of
all I was running out of time for the upcoming exhibition. I still have to finish some more paintings and polish the existing ones.
The owner of the art gallery calls almost on a daily basis and these people are getting on my nerves about this silly marriage
thing. I screamed at her about how she should mind her own business and rushed upstairs. I just threw myself on the bed and
cried. After some time, I slipped into sleep without even realising. In spite of the stress, I slept like a log all through the night.