kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution” Kahlil Gibran.
The ability to empathize with others will have a profound effect on your self esteem levels. Not only will a greater level of empathy have a great bearing on your communication skills, but also, you will tap in to a greater form of self awareness which is good for your body and mind. Being empathic does not mean that we aim to get embroiled in everyone else's problems. Some of us have tried this and we end up feeling burnt out. No, being empathic means standing by someone, exploring their own world with them for a moment or two, and clarifying that you have understood them or not. It is a desire to really hear and understand someone else.
Many of us have no idea of what empathy is. When in conversation with someone else, we merely wait for them to shut up so we can then get our own point across. The problem with this, is that other people sense that we are not listening to them, and conclude that we are not open to other ideas. If we are not open to other ideas and will not listen to others, we could be perceived as being selfish, arrogant, narrow minded, and generally not pleasant to be around. Empathy is a skill which will immediately build your credibility among others. Empathy belongs to a family known as 'emotional intelligence' and is a great tool in building and maintaining long lasting relationships both in and out of the home. In fact, if empathy is at the core of every intervention you have with other people, you will improve your self esteem greatly.The main key to empathy is to pay attention to what people say linguistically, and bodily. We talk with our bodies more than we do with our words, so when engaging with another person pay attention to their posture, and their verbal and bodily expression. It is important to demonstrate to the other person that you are really listening to them . We do this verbally by paraphrasing the other person. The following is an example of paraphrasing, you can try this out when talking to friends Friend says: “ I'm out of my depth with Ted, he just patronizes me all the time, I hate the way he makes me feel small, and that damned irritating expression on his face when he belittles me is repulsive” you reply: “ Right, I sense you're finding it difficult with Ted at the moment, he's really giving you bad feeling”. This is a simple example of an empathic response. Next time you are engaging with someone get into the habit of paraphrasing. Do not over do it, but try to get into the habit of really listening to the other person and paraphrase occasionally as best you can.
Always remember THE BETTER THE ABLITY TO EMPATHISE, THE GREATER THE LEVEL OF ESTEEM YOU SHALL AQUIRE. WE GAIN MUCH OF OUR ESTEEM FROM OTHERS, PEOPLE WILL DEVELOP A MORE POSITIVE ATTITUDE TOWARD YOU. Here's an exercise you can try to improve your empathic skill
Ï Next time you talk to someone face to face, be aware of their posture. Notice the movement of their hands, the speed of their speech, and tone of their voice
Ï Try to maintain a good level of eye contact, and while you do take nice slow relaxing breaths
Ï Paraphrase the person by calmly reflecting what they have said
Ï Sense what the person is saying with their body, if they display tension in their hands, face, or posture be aware
Ï If the person asks your opinion on a matter, depending on how well you know them, gently touch them on the shoulder by giving your own view
Ï Practice this daily and you will improve greatly at the art of empathy
Ï REMEMBER, the more you practice the better at it you will become, do not beat yourself up if you find it difficult to start with.