CHAPTER 20
Dirty Bird would never agree to allowing a bunch of lawyers, judges, and crooked police officers board the Pterodactyl if they were the last people on Earth. But who's to say that Bob Miller wasn't renting another ship? Lady Luck was just a little over 850 ft long and would easily woo a crowd of well heeled folks. Swimming pools and spas were at the very least it's bells and whistles. For Lady Luck had even badminton and a horse shoe pit.
As the pretties lined up to board Lady Luck Bob Miller made a point of standing at the top of the ramp to shake hands and greet everyone. He was wearing his finest checkered brown suit and had waited for this day for a very long time. Melissa Hunt (the divorce attorney from hell) couldn't help herself but at least pretend to know Bob as she shook his hand. She held onto his hand a little longer than the others as her hubby patiently awaited his turn.
"I'm so glad to meet you Mr.Bob Miller. I've read much about you in the Forbes magazines...I must ask though cuz I am much curious...every picture I see of you you're always wearing brown...was just curious."
Bob always liked a good joke. He laid a second hand on top of the handshake for good measure to lock it in with a pretty lady. He wouldn't feel in the least bit intimidated by her scrappy little hubby.
He smiled a big crest toothy smile with glimmer in his eyes.
"Oh that's cuz I poop my pants a lot and I don't want people to notice...getting older you know."
Melissa laughed at the joke. "Oh my your funny Bob...no seriously how come?"
Her hubby tried nudging her to keep the line moving but Bob was in no hurry to let go of her hand. He had no intentions of telling her the real reason but rather continued to smile like a car dealer.
"Well let me ask you this....Haven't you ever noticed that when Hillary ran against Trump last year the consistency she utilized with her attire? Her blouse and her pants were always just one plain color...nothing flowery...nothing polka dot....it just makes a statement and it helps people remember you."
John was cracking up at the Hillary joke. His Trumpster had barely won the election after the media had portrayed him as a "gasket ready to blow" and potentially "trigger happy" and had all the footage they needed to portray this notion. Live footage of a portly old fellow with skin turning as red as Santa Clause's suit due to rising blood pressure. At the very last moment Trump supporters feared a 9/11 all over again and didn't want to face another potentially dangerous oil spike. In the end they showed him some last minute support because they knew that Washington was just a big joke so why not carry out the joke?
Bob finally let go of Melissa's hand and John gave the quick old "one two" Shake and proceeded onto the ship with his wife. They knew they were going to be in for an amazing vacation.
And best of all? Absolutely free!!
They got within 40ft of the helm before Melissa's husband John bumped into somebody he knew. Officer Piker. A bias cop often known for purposely meddling with statements and withholding them from his boss. He often did these Freudian slips when he got what he liked to refer as "A bad taste in his mouth" when it came to dealing with things. Officer Piker did so much cross training with his job that the town he worked in didn't really need any judges or lawyers because as a dickhead cop he was there were many times in his career that he would play the role of all three. In Officer Piker's testosterone filled mind he felt he had the right to take work away from the judges and lawyers and for many years was duly noted for taking matters into his own hands. If there was ever a police officer that surely never did things by the book, it was officer Piker.
John quickly recognized his buddy from college. They had played football together. Never a dull moment in that shower room once those tights came off. He was very much excited to be bumping into Officer Matthew Piker. "Speedy" is what they used to call him because of his running back skills.
John was not shy. He cupped his mouth to be heard overtop of the sound of crashing waves. "Piker! Speedy! Is that you old boy?"
When officer Piker turned around he was not wearing anything closely resembling police attire. Not even a K-9 unit tshirt. Instead he was dressed up in Callaway sporting the good professional looks of a golfer. John noticed when his buddy turned around to face him he was not holding a gun he was so used to seeing him with but rather a silver glittered up mask. He had a shady smile on his face.
"Oh my gosh John Hunt! You won this free vacation too? You lucky son of a bitch. Is that your wifey you brought?"
John nodded while placing an arm around Melissa. 5 years and counting....got me a good little sugar momma here. I'm just curious Speedy....why the Halloween mask?"
Piker took in the beautiful surroundings before answering. He had quite a shady look on his face. But John was always used to that. Speedy was always known for being a prankster back in college. He held the glittery mask up showing it off proudly. "Are you kidding me? Look at all this beautiful tail on this ship. I'm about to get this party started in the private lounge room. You think I'm stupid enough to have my face on the internet when these wild sex parties really start getting started?"
John laughed but Melissa just frowned not taking humor with Speedy's sex plans. Speedy quickly sized up Melissa then smiled at his buddy. "Oh sorry John....I'm here to take a real vacation"....he grinned once more..."And that would be a vacation away from the wifey".