CHAPTER 26
(Another week on Miller Island)
John Hunt was not one of those type of guys that lived to work. For it was very much the other way around. John Hunt worked to live. And if his lovely wife Melissa continued making a fortune scamming people? John would most certainly forget working altogether and focus on his game of golf. Although Melissa had been on his case occasionally about his laziness, John was far from lazy when it came it taking care of his body.
Miller Island hotel was calm and peaceful as John placed some slices of whole wheat bread into the toaster. Because the Fuglies were now all off the Island the tasty bed in breakfast they were used to had been abruptly curtailed. Today's breakfast was looking like a morning filled with toast with strawberry jam and Frosted flakes cereal.
John pushed down on the toaster handle and placed his right hand over top to make sure it was heating up. It was. As soon as he turned around he heard it pop back up. WTF? That quickly? Not possible! sure enough the slices of bread were icy cold. John pushed down on the handle once again and waited for the toaster to get hot before walking away. As soon as he turned around the toaster popped up on him again with icy cold slices of wheat bread.
"Honey!" He shouted, "Old Spongy Bob left us with a screwy toaster...won't toast."
Melissa was still in bed fantasizing still over a great night of uninterrupted sex. "Just try the oven honey babe." Was all she could think to say.
John walked over to the brand new oven that didn't have so much as a scratch on it. He made sure it was plugged in before turning it on. It was. He set the dial to "Bake" and watched the coil glow and turn red. Just as he threw in the slices of bread the stove began making hideous clicking noises as the oven continued flicking on and off.
"What the hell?" He mumbled to himself, "Brand new oven?" John Hunt often became uneasy when he sensed things become out of kilter.
"Honey now the fucking oven is broke! It keeps flicking on and off!"
Melissa just wanted to sleep the morning away. Why was it always John the one with a big appetite in the morning after a long night of toe curling sex? "I dunno! Just throw it in a microwave then! Lemme sleep for another hour okay?"
John was running out of patience but he duteously tried the microwave anyway. He made sure to stand in front of it for an entire thirty seconds this time before turning around. The moment he turned around the damn thing completely shut off. What was happening? Brand new appliances? All three not working? John Hunt was becoming more than angry...John Hunt was becoming HANGRY.
Meanwhile..........
Prison counselor Barbera Kohl had somehow made the lucky winners list along with her husband Kip, a former prosecutor that bent the rules all the time but never got caught. His hell spawn wife Barb had always been known for blowing off virtually every inmate's grievance filed within their BOP (Bureau Of Prisons) rights. And to make matters worse?
Barbera also had a history of personally seeing to it that any inmate that she didn't like that came into her prison she went out of her way to see to it personally that their personal belongings on their person at the time of their arrest got thrown away. And did she ever own up to it? Of course not. Barbera Kohl was nothing more than an over paid witch from hell. She also had a big part in finding ways to stall hired attorneys to prevent speedy trials for inmates that brought Mickey Mouse charges to the table. Many of them were only first time offenders. By the time these law abiding inmates finally got the chance to stand before a judge there was no punishment left to dole for Barbera had already wrongfully seized a year of their life. The only words the confused judges had left to say was "Time Served" thanks to Barbera's ignorance preventing them from their constitutional right to a 6 month speedy trial for such Mickey Mouse crimes. Victimless crimes that ultimately the working man's taxes paid for because the incarceration costs were so high. Would hairball eye Barbera ever vote for someone like Fiona trying to tackle these issues and bring reformation to the judicial system? Hell no! Although she was known for being a mean old bitch when Barbera goes on vacation she barely lets anyone or anything get under her skin. She actually turns into a comical and somewhat generous person. The Bed in Breakfast that was no more did not phase her in the least bit. All she really needed in the mornings was a nice hot cup of coffee. Preferably name brand of course. Barbera scooped out just the right amount of coffee and placed it into the filter. She then poured two cups worth of water into the coffee maker then pushed the on button and listened intently as she smiled finally hearing it softly percolate.
The sound was so soothing it almost reminded her of a beautiful Christmas morning. When she took a few steps back she couldn't help but notice the brewing light flicker off. WTF? she thought to herself. She took a step forward and whalah!
The coffee maker continued to brew. Barbera was getting confused but remained in good spirits about it. She tried taking a step back and to no avail the damn thing stopped brewing again. Another step forward....whalah! What the hell is going on? she thought to herself.
Barbera made sure to stand as close to the coffee maker as possible so that it would continue brewing without interruption. The situation was so amusing to her that she ended up bursting out with laughter. "Hey Kip you gotta get out here and see this. We got ourselves a funny coffee maker here...every time I step away from it the damn thing shuts off on me. I'm gonna get this cup of coffee if it kills me to stand here the whole ten minutes....jeez honey....this is just like standing in the corner."
She could hear Kip also bursting with laughter from inside the hotel's bathroom. "That's great honey but it's probably best for the both of us if you stood there for a while. I know I didn't put too much toilet paper in here to clog this thing up but guess what sweetie? We no longer have a toilet that flushes....which one of those Fuglies was a plumber? Are you sure that Dirty Ole Bird took back all of them? It really stinks in here...I'm terribly sorry!"
Barbera grew up on a farm so she could take it. There was nothing really more she could do to cope with all this morning adversity but giggle it off. She had no idea about the pin hole sized hidden camera no bigger than the eyes of a spider watching everything from far far away. Every single move the Wolves made on the Island was secretly being watched live from far far away by a man seeking equality for the world. A man none other than Bob Miller.
Although Barbera could not find the micro sized hidden cam she could still feel the awkward vibes of being watched. She whispered softly under her breath as she scoured the kitchen with her evil bitchy little eyeball as if she was challenging all challengers.
"Come on Dirty Bird is that all you got you little prick?
Momma here has no problems running with the wolves and I'm gonna have fun ruffling your feathers you weirdo shit. I mean really? Is that all you got?"
Some how Kip was able to hear Barbera's talking to herself while waiting ever so patiently for her morning cup of joe. He heard the entire challenge. As the bathroom light abruptly turned off and he was quick to learn from the lighting down the hall it was nothing to do with a power failure Kip had some encouraging words for his lovely wife Barb.
"No I don't think that's all he's got honey...I think our friend Dirty Bird is just warming up!"