CHAPTER 27
The vacation the Wolves were experiencing on Miller Island was becoming no longer described as "fun" but rather talked about as being a "living hell". And what were the know- it-all Wolves missing the most? Why the garbage man of course!
Melissa and John Hunt were beginning to become very stressed out. John always complained of being hungry because neither one of them was ever used to preparing their own food. Melissa was in a major sourpuss mood because she had been two seconds too slow going for the last pack of tampons at the local Welgreens store. Another attorney named Susan and her had nearly fell into a cat fight over who was entitled to the last pack of tampons left on the shelf. Where were the Fuglies to replenish the shelves?
As the garbage piled up in their hotel room along came with it were many flies. Nobody knew why it was taking Bob Miller so long to get back to the Island to rescue them. Several high powered attorneys had managed to call for help but the government looking for them had no way of finding them. There were rumors that the Devil's Triangle AKA Bermuda Triangle was kind of like the belly button of Mother Earth.
Rumors had it that the Devils Triangle had a mysterious magnetic force field that scrambled virtually all electronic devices. GPS was no good. Even old school compasses spun around like a whirlybird. Many ships and planes over the century were still yet to be found in the Bermuda Triangle. A house fly nearly the size of a quarter continued to land on the bridge of Melissa's nose as she tried licking a Popsicle she found in the freezer. It was really starting to stink in their hotel room and they realized they must do something about it. Where was the trash supposed to go? They couldn't just let it pile up outside in the grass. They weren't litter bugs. When John took notice of his wife's discomfort he came up with an idea.
"Hey honey...it stinks in here and the air conditioning continues to turn on and off for some reason. Screw this place...let's hang out at the casino and blow off some steam."
Melissa just giggled. "Thats a great idea John...hey wait why don't we just call a taxi....oh wait a minute...where is that pock faced Fugly taxi driver that you only tipped a dollar? I think he's partying it up with Dirty Bird on his mighty big ship!"
Melissa was reaching the point of seriously contemplating biting her husband's head off just for being stupid.
John didn't give up. "Honey...we're both in pretty good shape and the casino is only 4 miles away....Miller Island's Bike rentals are just a stone throw away."
Melissa just grunted. "Oh yeah? And who's there to rent us a bike?"
"Babe who cares? This Island is getting shut down. You think Bob Miller is really gonna care or even notice for that matter if we rent a bike without paying?"
Melissa knew her hubby was right. Bob Miller had screwed them out of a good vacation and left them all to fend for themselves as if they were nothing more than chopped liver. A nice pleasant bike ride to the casino would do them both some good. She suddenly remembered something. Miller Island Casino had a tampon machine in the Ladies room!
As Melissa and John left the hotel they couldn't help but notice how high the grass had gotten around the building. Who was there to mow? The Attorneys certainly wouldn't be doing it. Most of the Wolves couldn't pull up a modicum of dirt underneath a fingernail if their life depended on it!
As they ever so cautiously wended through the tall grasses
John grabbed onto his wife's arm at the sounds of hissing.
"Shit! Melissa don't move! You hear that?"
They both stood frozen in the tall grasses. Melissa was getting scared. "It sounds like a snake but I can't see it!"
John could feel his heart pulsating right through his t-shirt.
"Well jeez honey....maybe if you wouldn't have lashed out at the mower boy for accidentally having a rock flying out and scaring the shit out of you maybe the Fuglies might have thought to mow the grass before they left."
Melissa was getting irked. "Jztt...jzzttt..shut up John! Let's just get to the pavement. I'm not having a narrow fellow in the grass bite MY legs. Man up sponge boy and pick me up and carry me through this shit over to the pavement....I'm getting scared."
All the lofty cable bills John had dumped on his wife over the years put a big guilt trip in his head. He duteously picked up Melissa in one fell swoop just like he had done on their wedding day and walked them through the high grasses. He was covered in sweat by the time they reached the pavement.
He ever so lovingly placed her down and she gave him a playful pat on the butt.
"I knew you could do it honey. Come on....let's go get those bikes."