CHAPTER 36
Amber simply could not hold back from teasing Bob Miller as he fought with the waves making his way onto the shore. She even threw in some loud flirty whistling for good measure. "Whoo hooh! Look at those sexy bird legs! What happened to your mighty big ship Bob? Did it sink like the Titanic or something?" She teased.
Amber was in a little red polka dot bikini and looking smoking hot this afternoon. She was accompanied by Speedy (Officer Piker) and he too was amused by Bob Miller's grandiose return back to Miller Island. He also felt compelled to pipe into the welcoming home of the notorious "Dirty Bird".
"Hey hey hey! Look what the cat drug in! Did the Pterodactyl fly sideways and you somehow fell off?" He kidded.
Bob Miller was not amused by their Mickey Mouse humor. And to make matters worse? He was covered in seaweed from head to toe.
"How did you twos find me?"
Amber kept the joke alive. She pinched her nose and pointed towards Bob. "You tell people that your shit don't stink but believe me.....we could smell you coming a mile away....." She looked out way past Bob at the big Navy Warship making it's way to shore, She knew exactly who it was but wanted to rub it in just a little bit more as she enjoyed getting under Bob's skin. She pointed her red nail polished finger way out past Bob.
"Oooohhh looky Speedy! I think Dirty Bird is bringing in another load of Tenacious Wolves for us to mingle with....he probably wants to watch us all fight over the last tampon then make a tv show about it."
Officer Piker wrapped his arm around Amber and laughed. "The Bird is the Word I guess....ya know Hun we studied these kinds of things back at the Academy when we took courses on profiling. Turns out a lot of suicidal maniacs start to develope an obsession with birds right before they go wee-willy- winkers. It's no wonder our friend Bob has been on our watch list for many many years."
Bob removed the scuba gear while doing his best to pretend he wasn't listening. He could finally take the bantering no more. He turned to face the two of them as he removed the goggles.
"Why don't you two kids shaaaaattt-Uppp!"
Amber could clearly see Bob was unarmed and knew that she was completely safe with big muscular Speedy. She had to push the envelope and continue to mimic Bob Miller's little mantra. She began flapping her arms and dancing around like a chicken while imitating Bob's awking voice as she found the whole situation so damn funny.
*Aaaawwwwwkkkk!*
*Aaaaawwwwwkkkkk!*
*Aaaaaaaawwwwwkkkk!*
She continued ribbing. "Do you know how many times we tried throwing casino chips at the stupid hologram every time we had to see your stupid little bird dance? It's over Bob Miller......Or should I say John Bobo? You'll have plenty of nut jobs to entertain in the facilities back at the states."
The Navy Seals were already throwing the anchors and making their way towards the shore. They had finally sobered up at this point and moving a little faster ensuring no possible means for Dirty Bird to escape. Bob's face went deadpan by Amber's mentioning of "John Bobo" and he felt a huge pang of trepidation course through his veins increasing his heart beat at the speed of a rabbit. How did this girl from the gym find out his real name? Nobody was ever supposed to find out about the mysterious author John Bobo...or Bobo the clown as they called him in high school. Was this why Amber always looked at him funny with those eyes? She knew about his dark dark secrets and was just waiting for the right moment to reveal it.
It was all Captain Belhorn could do to keep a straight look on his face as he accosted Bob Miller still covered in head to toe in seaweed looking like a cross combination of chew baca from Star Wars and a giant Christmas tree. The Captain was by no means grossed out by slimy seaweed and had no qualms placing his hand on the Bird Man's shoulder as he read out loud to him his Miranda rights. Bob nodded his head like a Vet and assured Captain Belhorn that he would like to phone his attorney Mr.Rogers once they got back to the states for all of this nonsense to get hashed out as he was still convinced he had violated NO laws.
Captain Belhorn just couldn't stop chuckling as he placed Dirty Bird in hand cuffs. "Did you really think you were gonna get away from us? I mean like come on? Did you not think that we already knew exactly where you were going?"
Bob said not a word but continued a dirty bird menacing stare towards Amber as if he could shoot her with darts straight out of his eyeballs. She smiled for him and continued to wrap her arms around her new lover Speedy knowing it would piss off Bob seeing her wrap her arms around a Tenacious Wolf. And she had never even been invited to the vacation in the first place!
Captain Belhorn continued the arrest while wiping away seaweed away from Dirty Bird's face so he could capture all of his emotions. It was so priceless putting away a millionaire as Captain Belhorn knew how much of a shock it was to a wealthy person's system to convert to a life of fighting over toilet paper. And yes of course the captain had to throw a little more words in it for everybody while Bob's arrest still had an audience.
"I thought you Dirty Birds were supposed to fly.....Isn't that right Bob Miller or should I say Jonathan Ryan Bobo? It sure looked like to me that you were trying to swim away from me." Jonathan Ryan Bobo kept his gaze firmly fixed into the wispy sand and said not one single word. Until this all made it in front of a judge he would remain completely silent. They wouldn't get a thing out of Dirty Bird......Not even a single Tweet.
THE END