In the Oval Office of the White House, President Barnaby sat behind his desk while he stared at the wall of TVs.
On the TVs, all the world leaders looked scared to death.
"You destroyed the Eiffel Tower with my own robot. The robot I sent up there to save our planet," French President Beaumont softly said from his TV while tears flowed from his eyes and ran down his cheek and dripped on his desk.
"I heard your secret military installation out in the desert was destroyed, and now hundreds of alien bodies lay in the dirt and rocks," Russian President Ivanov said from his TV.
On the TVs, all the rest of the world leader's look stunned overhearing that news.
"That's right, my sources tell me that the US of A had been hoarding aliens in their secret military installation in the desert," Russian President Ivanov added from his TV.
President Barnaby got up from behind his desk and walked to the wall of TVs, and had on his best campaign face. "No, no! There's no such thing as aliens, trust me!" he said.
On his TV, Russian President Ivanov slammed his fist down, furious. "We cannot wait any longer!" he yelled and sprayed the screen with spit then he looked to his side. "The Finger is forty-six miles away. In twelve minutes, I will nuke The Finger and save the world!" he added.
"Yeah! I will also nuke The Finger," North Korean Chul-Moo yelled said from his TV.
"I have more missiles ready to destroy The Finger!" Chinese President Wang yelled from his TV.
On the rest of the TVs, all the world leaders cheered in support of Russia, China, and North Korea.
President Barnaby got furious with Russia, China, and North Korea. "But you'll kill my boys!" he screamed at the TVs.
All the TVs went blank, as none of the world leaders could care less.
President Barnaby rushed furiously over to his desk. He picked up his purple phone and paced while he waited.
"Where the hell is he?" President Barnaby yelled since the caller didn't answer the phone yet.
A few minutes later, a system engineer, named Freddie, from Ferry Control Room #1 rushed over to Richard's console when he heard the purple phone ringing and ringing.
"Yes, Mister President," the system engineer nervously answered the critical call.
"I want Head," President Barnaby blurted out from the purple phone.
"Ah, I'm sorry sir, but I'm not that kind of guy. But if you wait a few seconds, I know of a guy a few consoles over from me that can help you," Freddie replied.
"No, you idiot! I want Richard Head!" President Barnaby snapped back from the phone.
"Oh, I'm so sorry sir, but Richard's not here at the moment," Freddie replied and started to sweat.
"You tell that moron to call me immediately," President Barnaby yelled from the phone then disconnected his end of the call.
Freddie looked nervous while he hung up the purple phone then rushed away from Richard's console to find him.
Back at the Nursing Home For Very, Very Old People, June stared at the TV with keen interest from the couch.
Hoke wheeled Daisy in a wheelchair to the couch and stopped. They both looked at June then at the TV.
"We have a major development. The Russians, Chinese and North Koreans are going to nuke The Finger in about twelve minutes. Apparently, they don't have much faith in our astronauts way up there. Too bad," Anita the news anchor told the audience.
"Disaster follows that loser where ever he goes!" June said while she shook her head disgusted with Jake.
Daisy had enough of June's attitude.
June got up from the couch.
"Sit down, young lady!" Daisy scolded while she shook a wrinkled finger at June.
June obeyed and quickly sat back down on the couch.
Daisy motioned Hoke to wheel her over to June.
He wheeled her over to the front of the couch.
Daisy glared at June who sat with her head hung down knowing what was going to happen next.
"What's wrong with you?" Daisy said while she continued to shake a finger at June.
June opened mouth to speak, but Daisy slammed her fist down on the armrest of her wheelchair. "Boo hoo hoo. I can't go on vacation. Boo hoo hoo. My hubby's a moron and wants to be an Astronaut. Boohoo hoo," Daisy said then placed her hands on her hips. "Who cares if he's a screwup? He's in love with you and wants to save the world. You should be proud of him you whiney brat!" Daisy scolded June then she motioned at Hoke to wheel her away.
June thought about her mother's scolding while Hoke wheeled her out of the room. She reached into her purse and removed a picture of Jake and herself took six years ago at a beach in Hawaii. She looked at it and started to feel ashamed with herself.
Back at Ferry Room #1, Jennifer sat on a couch in the break room and watched TV. She looked scared to death while she watched the Disaster Channel that showed clips of the Russian, Chinese, and North Korean missiles being aimed at the sky ready to fire.
She wiped away her tears with a tissue while she twirled her engagement diamond ring around on her finger.
Richard entered the room and walked up to Jennifer. He walked up to her, and lovingly touched her shoulder.
Jennifer looked up at Richard and then she got even more upset and pointed to the TV. "Are you happy now?" she said then started blubbering.
Richard tried to comfort her by stroking her hair.
Jennifer slapped his hand away. "I never want to see you again!" she yelled out while she jumped up from the couch.
Jennifer stormed over to the door of the room.
"But puddin!" Richard yelled out while she opened up the door.
She ignored him while she rushed out into the hall and slammed the door behind her.
Freddie, the system engineer, opened the break room door and peeked his head inside. His eyes widened when he saw Richard, who looked like his pet dog, just died. "There you are. The President wants to talk to you and boy did he sound pissed!" Freddie told him.
Richard looked at Freddie and started a nervous sweat. A huge wet spot formed from his crotch while he peed his pants.
Freddie saw the huge wet spot in Richard's pants, and he closed the door with a chuckle.
"Hey everybody, Richard peed his pants!" Freddie was heard while he ran down the hall.
Richard turned red with embarrassment while he looked down at his pants at his huge wet spot.
Back at the rear of the asteroid, Jake just pulled the T-Handle on the 12 HP Briggs and Stratton pre-starter on engine number two, and it started.
Jake putt putted around in a little victory dance by the engine to celebrate it starting.
Inside the Mayflower, Ronnie waited with his boots propped up. A transistor radio hung off a console switch and played the Rolling Stones Tumbling Dice song.
The song was interrupted. "We have breaking news. The Russians, Chinese and North Koreans are going to nuke The Finger in about twelve minutes."
Ronnie jumped up and turned off the radio.
At the rear of the asteroid, Jake started the 12 HP Briggs and Stratton pre-starter engine for engine number three, and the engine started.
Jake putt putted around in a victory dance, celebrating that all the pre-starter engines started.
"Hey guys, I heard on the radio they're going to cook our butts with nukes in less than twenty minutes," Ronnie told Jake over the radio net while Jake waited for Ralph.
Jake quickly putt putted up to engine number two where Ralph was still in the hole between some pieces of space junk.
"Let's go, Ralph, it worked," Jake called.
"I'm on my way," Ralph called out from inside the hole between the pieces of space junk.
Ralph's glass helmet scratched like nails down a chalkboard while he squeezed through the hole. The second Ralph got his body halfway through the hole there was a loud bang then the asteroid shook, and dropped to a lower orbit.
Ralph tried to move, but his body would not budge since that last movement with the asteroid closed up the hole a little. Fear set in his eyes when thoughts of him riding the rear of the asteroid off into deep space. "Oh no! I'm stuck!" he cried out in a panic while he strained to free himself from the hole.
Jake grabbed both of Ralph's arms and propped his boots up against some space junk. He pulled with all his might on Ralph's arms.
Ralph's body stretched to twice his size. "Ouch! That's going to leave a stretch mark," Ralph cried out in pain.
Jake pulled harder, and Ralph's body stretched a little more.
The rest of Ralph's body came out of the whole with a loud pop!
Ralph clung onto Jake while they tumbled down to earth.
Jake quickly fired his rocket pack and stopped their tumbling.
Ralph fired his rocket pack.
They putt putted back up to the hovering Mayflower.
Jake knocked on the hatch of the Mayflower.
The hatch of the Mayflower opened.
"Hey, guys don't forget about me!" Butch called out from the radio net while he sat in the Space Buggy.
Ralph floated through the hatch and went inside the Mayflower.
Jake floated through the hatch and went inside the Mayflower.
The hatch to the Mayflower closed and locked.
Ronnie turned on some smaller thrusters and maneuvered the Mayflower upward. They slowly headed back to the top of an asteroid.
A few minutes later, the Mayflower arrived at the top of the asteroid and lowered ten feet away from the Space Buggy.
Butch climbed out of the Space Buggy.
He climbed over space junk and headed to the Mayflower.
The hatch opened up the second Butch arrived. He jumped up on the top of a piece of space junk. He jumped up and floated into the hatch of the Mayflower.
The hatch of the Mayflower closed and locked.
The Mayflower lifted up and turned around.
It headed back toward the front of the asteroid to finish their mission.
Inside the Mayflower, Ronnie, Butch, and Jake all removed their helmets and they bumped fists over the successful work with the installation of the engines.
"Hey dorks, how's the installation of the engines coming along?" Richard said from the radio net.
"Two installed and the pre-starter engines are running," Jake responded.
"It's about time you guys did something right," Richard replied with a smart-ass tone.
Jake and Butch looked at one of the windows and gave the earth the finger that was meant for Richard.
"Now for some more bad news, we just got word that we lost signal with R1D1. What did you screw up now?" Richard replied.
Jake and Butch looked a little baffled while they recalled all their steps with the work in the Sweet Thing. They knew they did nothing wrong when they implemented that part of the plan.
"We'll check it out dick head," Jake replied then turned off the radio net for communicating down to earth.
"We better hurry up and get back to the Sweet Thing. We don't have much time left," Jake told Ronnie.
Ronnie pressed the "Super Fast" button on the console, and the Mayflower zoomed away to the front of the asteroid.
In outer space, the Mayflower raced over top of the Asteroid and headed back to the middle finger. It flew over the HariAnne capsule that was still attached to the top of the asteroid.
Back inside the Mayflower, Jake patted Ronnie's shoulder. "So Ronnie, how did you get off the moon?" he curiously asked.
Ronnie looked baffled while he strained for an answer. "I don't know," he said and continued to have a puzzled look. "Maybe the Mayflower hit the surface of the moon then bounced back up and headed back to earth," he proposed as a possible solution.
Jake and Butch both thought about Ronnie's proposal for a few seconds.
"That sounds plausible to me," Butch answered.
Jake nodded his head in agreement. Then something caught Jake's eyes while he glanced at the rear of the capsule. He did a double-take to make sure he saw what he thought he saw.
He got up out of his seat and floated over and saw the "Savage Beaver Humper Team" box. His eyes widen in surprise, as it was the same box that fell out of the Sweet Thing during their 1972 Uranus mission to the moon.
Jake got a huge happy grin. "You found it! You found the box we lost during our moon mission. How did you do it, Ronnie?" Jake asked while he floated over and gave Ronne a huge hug.
Ronnie still looked clueless while Butch joined in on the hugging ceremony.
Ralph floated over and opened up the box and saw a bunch of moon rocks. He closed the box and looked unimpressed. "Ah, just a bunch of stupid rocks," he quietly said to himself.
Ralph floated back to the three right after they separated from their hug.
"Here's to the best crew a guy could travel in space with," Jake said then held out his fist.
Jake, Butch, Ronnie, and Ralph all bumped fists.
"Let's put the final touches on this mission and fly it out of here," Jake told everybody.
They all looked determined while they saw from the windows that they were getting closer to the middle finger.
In outer space, the asteroid moved downward to the earth.
The Mayflower raced around and headed to the docking device of the Sweet Thing.
Ronnie fired the thrusters and slowed the Mayflower down. It slowly floated to the docking device of the Sweet Thing.
The Mayflower came a foot from docking to the Sweet Thing when the asteroid dropped two feet.
Ronnie maneuvered the Mayflower a little lower and inched closer to the docking device of the Sweet Thing.
The asteroid dropped lower, and they missed docking by four feet.
Ronnie put the Mayflower in reverse and quickly backed up.
He flew the Mayflower into a loop and came back around and headed back to the docking device a little faster. He finally docked the Mayflower to the Sweet Thing with a thud.
Inside the Mayflower, Ronnie, Jake, Butch, and Ralph were all thrown about the capsule.
After they settled down, they got up and floated over to the hatch.
Jake opened up the hatch then reached inside and opened the hatch of the Sweet Thing. He turned on his radio net to communicate down to earth. "We're entering the sweet thing now," Jake said into the radio net.
Jake floated through the hatch and went inside the Sweet Thing.
Butch floated through the hatch and went inside the Sweet Thing.
Ralph floated through the hatch and went inside the Sweet Thing.
Ronnie stayed behind in the Mayflower.
Inside the Sweet Thing, Jake immediately floated over to R1D1 and noticed the robot appeared to be in sleep mode. He quickly pressed the "Awake" button on R1D1.
R1D1 moved and stretched out its mechanical arms while a computer-generated yawn sound emitted from R1D1's speakers.
"We got a signal from R1D1," Richard said from the radio net.
R1D1 suddenly went limp again.
"We lost the signal from R1D1 again. What's wrong?" Richard asked from the radio net.
Butch looked down at the backside of R1D1 and got curious. He opened up a small compartment at R1D1's rear and saw the battery. "His battery's very weak," Butch said.
"Thanks to the lowest bidder who built this pile of electronic rubbish. Now what?" Jake asked.
R1D1 came to life and tried to muster up enough electrons to give Jake the finger but doing that used up all his available energy. R1D1's arm went limp, and it slumped over.
Butch looked at R1D1's backside. "His battery is completely dead," he said while he closed the rear compartment of the robot.
"That's just great!" Richard yelled from the radio net then paused. "Now we have three buffoons up there with a dead robot and earth is going to be destroyed soon," he added.
Jake thought for a moment, then he looked at Ralph. He turned off his radio to earth communication button.
"Ralph, you're the only one who can get this scrapyard out of here. Do you still want to keep this pile of junk?" Jake asked, politely.
"Sure, plus I feel responsible for putting your planet in this predicament," Ralph replied.
"Great and then it's yours to keep," Jake said.
Ralph smiled as he had a profitable business idea with this asteroid.
Butch floated and paced around the Mayflower in deep thought. Then he got a proud smile then he turned off his radio net to earth communications button. "I'll help him fly it away!"
"Ralph said he'll do that," Jake replied and looked concerned.
"No. Let me assist since I have nothing to lose," Butch pleaded.
"Wait. I'm not going with those two down to earth. You aliens keep delicious food as pets," Ralph pleaded.
"Don't deny a dying man his last wish," Butch pleaded again, and his eyes welled up.
"Dying man?" Ralph asked and looked worried.
"We'll talk about it once we fly this thing out into deep space.
"Can I still keep this asteroid?" Ralph asked with hopeful eyes.
"It's all yours, my friend," Butch replied.
Ralph looked happy while dollar signs filled his mind while he continued to think about his business venture with this asteroid.
"But you have Jennifer!" Jake said as the last chance to change Butch's mind.
"For a couple of months, maybe. Now I can finally be the first at something. The first to save the earth and roam the open space! So, tell Jennifer I'm saving earth for her," Butch replied with a proud smile.
Jake thought for a second, then he saw the gleam in Butch's eyes.
"Okay Buddy, go save the earth," Jake responded then he gave Butch a hug.
Jake placed a hand on Ralph's shoulder. "We couldn't have done this without you. Thank you, my alien friend," he said, then gave Ralph a hug.
"Hurry up, as we still have a threat of missiles being fired at us! And loud explosions make me pee, and I forgot to wear my Depends," Ronnie yelled out from the Mayflower.
Jake floated over to the hatch. He turned around and saluted Butch.
Butch and Ralph saluted back.
"Proceed on with our mission, Space Cowboy Butch Beaver!" Jake told him then he suddenly looked curious. "Do you know why the President loves us so much? And how did he have your cell phone number?" he asked.
Butch looked embarrassed and debated in his mind if he should spill the beans. He figured he had nothing to lose. "Remember back in college, and I would get horny, drunk and," Butch said, then stopped when he got embarrassed. "Well, President Barnaby was a freshman in our dorm. One night I stumbled into his room by accident, thinking it was Sadie's room. Well, I climbed into what I thought was her bed. Then the next morning, I woke up with Barnaby, cuddled naked next to me and he was nibbling on my ear. I ran out and barfed for the next three hours," Butch added to his deep dark secret.
Jake got the dry heaves and quickly floated through the hatch.
Butch floated over and closed and locked the hatch.
He floated over to Ralph, who looked a little apprehensive with being alone with Butch.
"Ah, I hope you know that I'm not that kind of alien," Ralph said a little nervous while he moved away from Butch.
"I was drunk. It was a mistake. And I'm not that kind of guy either. Now, let's fly this thing back to your home planet," Butch told him.
Ralph looked relieved and felt safer being around Butch.
Butch removed R1D1 from the stool, and he sat down.
The sound of the hatch closing from the Mayflower was heard, and Butch knew he would never see earth again. His eyes welled up then he thought about Jennifer. He wished he met her years ago. But that's the way things go.