It was the next morning at 7:00 a.m. at Richard's office in Space Beach, Florida.
Richard sat furiously behind his desk, while he read the "Asteroid is going to kill us all!" headlines of the USA Today newspaper. He slammed the newspaper down on his desk and accidentally knocking over his coffee cup full of steaming hot coffee into his lap.
He jumped up and danced around in pain while the coffee burned his crotch. He looked down at the substantial steamy wet spot on the crotch of his expensive dress pants.
He walked over to his office closet door and opened it up. Inside the closet were four replacement suits of the same color and style.
His office door opened, and Julie, his administrative assistant, entered inside. "The conference will start in thirty minutes," she said then left his office.
Richard grabbed a new suit and went to his private bathroom to change.
The conference room in the NERP Headquarters building at Space Beach was filling up fast with newshounds and other NERP employees.
On one end of the wall, hung a digital display and "The Finger – 350 Miles Away" scrolled across the marquee.
Richard and Jennifer stood behind a podium on the stage at the front of the room.
"Let's get this started," Richard said into a microphone.
A female reporter immediately stood up. "What's the NERP going to do about this threatening asteroid?" she asked with her pad of paper in hand.
Richard looked over at the other side of the stage.
Little Q walked over to the podium. "We plan to have our Ferry crew install three rocket engines to the back end of the asteroid. These new engines are self-contained with some new advanced solid rocket propellant. Then we'll use a prototype robot to fly it out deep into outer space keeping earth safe," Little Q said into the microphone then stepped aside.
Another female reporter immediately stood up. "Which Ferry crew will perform this heroic mission?" she asked curiously.
Everybody looked at Richard in anticipation of hearing that piece of news.
"The President has picked a very, ah, well he picked," Richard said while he looked unhappy.
"Who?" a male reporter stood up and asked curiously as the suspense was killing them.
"The President picked the Savage Beaver Humper team from the old Uranus program," Richard told everybody.
Jake, Butch, and Ronnie walked over to the podium from the right sight of the stage.
Butch eyed Jennifer and winked at her as a sign that he was romantically interested.
Jennifer liked what she saw in Butch. She winked back and gave him a loving smile that indicated she was romantically interested.
He discreetly blew her a kiss.
She erotically licked all around her lips to let him know that she wanted a steamy encounter.
Richard caught all this and got upset with Butch and Jennifer.
An older male reporter stood up the second it dawned on him. "Wait, aren't those the stooges from the last moon mission back in seventy-two?"
Richard looked stumped and didn't know how to respond to the reporter.
Then it dawned on the rest of the reporters while they remembered the last Uranus mission to the moon. Fear grew on their faces!
A female reporter stood up, scared to death! "We're all going to die!" she cried out in a panic while she looked at Jake, Butch, and Ronnie.
Everybody screamed and ran out of the conference room in a chaotic panic.
The room was quiet.
Jake, Butch, and Ronnie didn't feel like potential heroes.
Julie walked over to Richard. "The President wants to talk with you," she whispered into his ear. He nodded that he understood then looked over at Jennifer. "Get these buffoons over to the training center ASAP," Richard ordered her.
She nodded that she understood while she glanced over at Butch.
Richard followed Julie off the stage.
Butch and Jennifer exchanged flirty glances.
Later that day in the Oval Office of the White House, Barnaby sat behind his desk with Richard in a chair nearby.
On the wall of TVs, all the world leaders looked upset.
"Your plan requires using nincompoops? That scares me!" French President Beaumont said from his TV.
"Beaumont, you're a wimp. Sam knows what he's doing," English Prime Minister Goodrich said from his TV.
On TV, French President Beaumont gave the finger" to English Prime Minister Goodrich.
"I'm not sure myself if these three can save the earth," Russian President Ivanov said from his TV.
"I agree with Ivanov," the Japanese President Kato said from his TV.
On TVs, Spain President Vargas, Australia Prime Minister Walker, Canadian President Morin all nodded in agreement with Russia from their TVs.
North Korean President Chul-Moo, South Korean President Doko and, Italian President Conti all showed their doubt on their TVs.
President Barnaby got up from his desk and paced around the Oval Office upset that world leaders were not one hundred percent behind the USA.
Richard had a smirk happy that things were falling apart for President Barnaby.
"I say we blow it out of the sky!" Chinese President Wang said from the TV while he banged his fist on his desk.
"I like that!" Russian President Ivanov said from his TV.
"I don't want missiles or idiots. I want younger capable men!" the Italian President Conti said from his TV.
"I agree with Italy," the Japanese President Kato said from his TV.
German Chancellor Kiel and French President Beaumont all nodded in agreement with Italy from their TVs.
Then French President Beaumont's eyes widened with an idea. "I know!" he said, then glanced over to this right. "It's now three hundred and forty-eight miles away. We can use my HariAnne rocket with a robot," he said with a gleam in his eyes.
German Chancellor Kiel and Japanese President Kato all smiled over the French idea.
"I'll provide the engines," the Japanese President Kato offered from his TV.
"I can help with the robot!" the German Chancellor Kiel offered from his TV.
President Barnaby was distraught with the attitudes of the world leaders.
Richard was ecstatic with the attitudes of the world leaders.
"Gentlemen, I assure you, my boys are quite capable of completing this mission and keeping earth safe," President Barnaby pleaded.
All the TVs went blank when the world leaders turned off their cameras.
Richard heard some commotion outside the Oval Office. He got curious and walked to the windows, and President Barnaby joined him.
They both peeked out and saw some protesters out by the rear of the White House.
He saw a man with a "Bite Me Barnaby!" sign.
He saw another man with a "Morons Save Earth? Ha!" sign.
He saw another man with a "The asteroid is Govt Plot!" sign.
Richard got an evil smirk while he looked back at President Barnaby, who paced around the Oval Office upset.
Later that day, Richard sat on the toilet in a men's room of the White House and talked into his cell phone.
"Vinny, Richard here," Richard quietly said into his cell phone.
"Hey boss," Vinny replied from Richard's cell phone.
"Have the Savage Beaver Humper team arrived yet?" Richard asked.
"They're on their way," Vinny replied.
"Listen, I'll give you a big bonus, and I'm talking five thousand dollars if you keep those imbeciles from passing their tests!" Richard offered with a smirk.
"I can handle that without a single problem. Who should I get to replace them?" Vinny responded.
"Well, I really need some cowboys, so get me Eastwood, Jones, Garner, and Sutherland," Richard said.
"I think they're off making movies," Vinny replied.
"Right, okay, get Buzz Harley and Neil Drebin ready," said Richard.
"No problem, sir," Vinny replied.
Richard disconnected his call and shoved his cell phone into his pants pocket. He closed his eyes and had a daydream while he sat on the toilet.
In Richard's daydream, he sat in the backseat of a 1957 pristine red on red Chevy convertible where it drove down the street in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.
The streets were lined on both sides with cheering people, as Richard was the hero for saving the earth by having other astronauts perform this historic mission.
Richard waved at his adoring fans on both sides of the street.
Then he saw one fan that held up a "Richard's Our Hero" sign.
Then on the other side of the street, he saw a woman held up a "Richard For President" sign.
Richard snapped out of his daydream with a huge smile.
He flushed the toilet, walked out the stall, and washed his hands.
Richard walked out of the bathroom with a spring in his step.
He strutted down the hall to the Oval Office.
Richard stepped into the Oval Office and had a vision he sat behind his desk.
Meanwhile, in the southern part of the Rocket Ranch, was Vinny Carter a forty-eight-year-old career NERP trainer who always sported a crew cut with his crooked nose he got from a bar fight long ago. He wore Khaki pants and a tanned shirt and kept both of them starched. Vinny was a retired USMC gunnery sergeant.
He waited with a smirk out by the front of a building with an "Astronaut Testing Place" sign.
Jake, Butch, and Ronnie got out of an official NERP Chevrolet Impala car that stopped in front of the building.
They proudly strutted up to Carter.
"I'm Vinny Carter. I'll be testing you for your mission. Let me show you to your rooms where you can get some rest. We'll start first thing in the morning," Vinny said in a Marine drill Sergeant tone.
Jake, Butch, and Ronnie extended their hands as a greeting.
"Follow me," Vinny said, ignoring them then he walked to the front doors and went inside the building.
Jake, Butch, and Ronnie followed and went inside the building.
Thirty minutes later, Jake, Butch, and Ronnie settled into their open bay dorm that resembled a basic training configuration.
Jake lay in his bunk and stared at the ceiling. "I wonder if June misses me and will come back?" he said quietly.
Butch lay in his bunk and stared at the ceiling. All he could think about was Jennifer and her hot young body.
Ronnie lay in his bunk and glanced at a girlie magazine, as old habits were still hard to kill.
Meanwhile, at the Nursing Home For Very, Very Old People, June sat with her eighty-year-old mother, Daisy at a table with two other old ladies. They were in the middle of a bridge game. Jake was far from June's mind since she was winning the game.
Jennifer lay in her bed at home in Space Beach. She stared at the ceiling, and all she could think about was Butch and how sexy he was for an old man.