It was the next day, and Jake, Butch, and Ronnie were sound asleep in their bunks.
The door at the other end of the dorm slammed opened.
Vinny stormed inside with a metal garbage can in hand and a sawed-off broomstick in his other hand. Vinny had an evil smirk on his face while he placed the broomstick inside the garbage can. He clanged his broomstick in the garbage can as an alarm clock.
Jake, Butch, and Ronnie shot up in bed in a panic and looked around in a daze to determine what was that horrible sound.
"Get up you lazy asses!" Vinny screamed at his trainees.
Jake, Butch, and Ronnie jumped out of their bunks like recruits in basic training.
"Move it, move it, move it!" Vinny screamed at the three and deep inside, he was laughing, as he loved having this type of control over astronauts.
Jake, Butch, and Ronnie bolted to the bathroom to shave and shower.
An hour later, Jake, Butch, and Ronnie entered Testing Room #1.
Vinny walked them up to a table that contained vertical tubes with water and a ping-pong ball.
Vinny stood behind them with a stopwatch in hand while Jake, Butch, and Ronnie waited by the vertical tubes.
Vinny got an evil smirk then he pressed the button on the stopwatch and waited a few seconds. "Okay. Ready. Set. Go," he called out.
Jake, Butch, and Ronnie quickly inhaled. They put the smaller tube in their mouths and then exhaled.
A few minutes later, Jake, Butch, and Ronnie, all had swollen blue faces while they strained to exhale into their individual tubes. They all farted from straining too hard.
Carter sniffed the air. His eyes crossed, he passed out and dropped to the floor.
Jake, Butch, and Ronnie continued until they passed out and dropped to the floor.
Later that morning, Jake, Butch and Ronnie were on a thirty-minute break.
Jake walked down the hall of the training building while he talked on his cell phone.
"Hello," June answered his call.
"Honey! It's me," Jake replied excitedly. He waited for her response, but she didn't respond. He paused again for her to respond, but she didn't respond. "June? Are you there?" he asked then it took him a few more minutes of silence to finally realize she hung up.
Jake looked upset while he stared at his cell phone.
Vinny rushed up behind Jake, and he whacked his cell phone out of Jake's hand. It flew off down the hall whacking a woman employee in her face knocking her on her butt.
"No personal calls during testing, gassy ass!" Vinny yelled at Jake then he proudly strutted away.
Jake bolted down the hall to save the woman on the floor.
When he got a few feet from her, he tripped over his feet and flew at the woman. He landed on her chest with his nose buried deep in her cleavage.
She freaked out and walloped both of Jake's ears, and she pushed him off. "I'm calling human resources," she yelled out at him, jumped up and fled down the hall.
Jake sat up on the floor in a daze. "I was just trying to help," he said and held his aching ears.
"Jake! Quit screwing off! We have training to complete," Vinny yelled while he stood with his arms on his hips and glared at Jake from the other end of the hall.
Jake stood up and rushed down the hall toward Vinny.
Later that morning just before lunch, the NERP 707 jet called The Puker was parked on the flightline by the hangar at the Space Beach airport on the Rocket Ranch.
In the cockpit of The Puker, the two pilots performed their pre-flight and got the cockpit ready for flight.
Vinny entered the cockpit and handed each pilot an envelope that contained pay-off cash from Richard.
"Make sure these three yahoos don't pass the required zero-gravity test," Vinny said with a smirk.
The pilots opened up their envelopes and saw one thousand dollars in twenty-dollar bills.
They both nodded in agreement and shoved their envelopes in their flight bags.
Vinny left the cockpit with a huge satisfied smirk.
A little while later, Jake, Butch, and Ronnie boarded The Puker and waited in their seats.
The 707 soon taxied over to the end of runway 36.
It raced down the runway and was soon airborne.
It banked to the right and flew over the Rocket Ranch and headed toward the Atlantic Ocean.
A little while later, The Puker was thirty thousand feet above the Atlantic Ocean and flew straight and level for the longest time.
Jake, Butch, and Ronnie sat on the floor and waited inside The Puker.
Butch squirmed and looked uncomfortable while he tried to cross his legs. He looked around the airplane and cringed. "Where's the toilet?" he asked.
Jake and Ronnie looked at the back of the plane. Then they looked at the front of the aircraft.
"I think it's up there," Jake replied while he pointed to the front of the plane.
Butch got up and walked to the front of the plane and saw two doors side by side. He didn't know which door to open. He chose the left door, but it wouldn't open. He stepped back, ran at the door, and slammed his body against it.
The door flew opened, and Butch slammed into the pilot who banged his head into the controls and passed out.
The Puker immediately went into a downward dive toward the ocean.
Butch panicked, rushed over and pulled back on controls before the copilot could react.
The plane banked sharply to the right.
Butch lost his grip, slammed into the copilot, who slammed his head into his windowsill, and he passed out.
In the back of the plane, Jake and Ronnie flew upward and slammed their heads on the top of the fuselage.
They then dropped down and slammed onto the floor.
This upward and downward slamming repeated for another twenty minutes.
Later on, The Puker landed on runway 36 and taxied over to the hangar. The engines whined down, and some workers rolled up the stair truck to the door.
The door opened, and Jake, Butch, and Ronnie emerged covered in barf.
They walked like drunken sailors down the stair truck.
The second then set foot on the tarmac; Butch barfed on Jake's shirt.
Four Emergency Technicians (EMTs) rushed up the stair truck with two stretchers in hand.
A little while later, the four EMTs carried the two pilots down the stair truck in the stretchers.
From the corner of the hangar, Vinny watched with a smirk while Jake, Butch, and Ronnie staggered away.
Immediately after lunch, Vinny had Jake, Butch, and Ronnie in Testing Room #2. It was a round room with a capsule connected to an arm that was connected to a central device.
Jake, Butch, and Ronnie sat side by side inside the capsule.
Then there was a whining sound while the capsule and the arm started to spin clockwise around the room.
Inside the control room, Vinny walked up to the operator and handed him an envelope.
The operator opened up the envelope and saw a thousand dollars in twenty-dollar bills.
Vinny winked at the operator who returned a wink accepting the pay-off. He turned a black knob with "People Will Crap" label.
From the windows, Vinny and the operator watched while the capsule and arm spun faster and faster around the room.
Inside the capsule, Jake, Butch and Ronnie's faces looked like they just received face-lifts, their hair turned back to their black 1972 color and styles.
From the control room windows, Vinny and the operator watched while the capsule was a blur while it spun around the room.
There was a loud snap sound, and the capsule broke free. The capsule soared in the air and crashed through the ceiling.
Inside the capsule, Butch looked over at Jake, who had a broken control stick in his hand.
Jake looked over at Butch. "Oops!" he quietly said.
"Bozo!" Butch replied.
"Here we go again," Ronnie stated.
They watched from the capsule windows while it soared through the air toward the Atlantic Ocean.
A few minutes later, the capsule splashed hard into the ocean.
The capsule bobbed up and down in the water.
A Blackhawk NERP helicopter raced over then slowed down and hovered above the capsule.
NERP technicians lowered a cable and cable to the hook at the top of the capsule.
A little while later, the Blackhawk flew to the Rocket Ranch with the capsule dangling below from the cable.
Later that afternoon, Richard sat at his desk while he read a file folder, which was Vinny's testing report. He set the folder down and did a little victory dance in his seat. "This was way too easy!" he sang out while he boogied in his chair.
Someone knocked on his office door.
"Come in," Richard called out.
The door opened, and Jake, Butch, and Ronnie stepped inside.
"You wanted to see us?" Jake asked.
"Please have a seat," Richard replied with a smirk while he pointed at three chairs in front of his desk.
Jake, Butch, and Ronnie sat down in the chairs.
Richard picked up the folder and opened it and glanced at the report again. "It seems you either flunked or couldn't perform the required tests. Therefore, it gives me great pleasure to repeat history. You're all kicked out of NERP. Again!" Richard said with a satisfying smile. "You're all kicked out of NERP again. You're all kicked out of NERP again!" he sang out while he did a victory dance in his chair.
Jake, Butch, and Ronnie opened mouths to rebut, but Richard quickly pointed to the door dead serious.
Jake, Butch, and Ronnie stood up in shame.
Richard had a massive grin while he watched the three goofs walk to the door.
The second they left his office he picked up his yellow phone and made a call. "Get me Harley, and Drebin," he said but stopped the second his purple phone rang on his desk. He quickly slammed the yellow receiver down and picked up the purple receiver. "Yes, Mister President," he answered the call and sat up at attention.
In his Oval Office at the White House, President Barnaby sat with his shoes propped up on the desk. He looked curious," while he talked into his purple phone.
"Richard, how's my boy, I mean boys doing with their tests?" he said.
"Well sir, it appears they flunked the required Astronaut tests, so I fired them. But don't worry, I have some other astronauts ready to jump in and perform this historic mission to save the earth," Richard replied from the President's receiver.
President Barnaby jumped up in his seat, visibly upset. "You what? I don't care what happened! Reinstate them, or I'll demote you down to janitor! Do you understand? And I mean permanent latrine queen!" President Barnaby yelled into his phone.
"Yes, sir," Richard replied with a whipped tone.
President Barnaby slammed down his phone and looked a little happier while he glanced at his picture of Butch.
Back in his NERP office, Richard slammed his purple phone down and threw a childish temper tantrum in his chair, stomping his feet.
He reluctantly picked up his yellow phone and made another call. "Jennifer, the Prez, wants the boys back in NERP. We still have to use them," he reluctantly told her.
"Got it," she replied from his receiver.
He hung up his yellow phone and pouted at his desk.
Outside the NERP Headquarters Building, Jake, Butch, and Ronnie moped down the sidewalk saddened that history was repeated.
"It's your fault we got kicked out again," Butch snapped at Jake.
"My fault?" Jake replied and got pissed.
They stopped on the sidewalk and faced each other. They stared at each other, furious with clenched fists ready to fight.
"Guys!" Jennifer yelled while she ran out the doors of the building.
Butch pushed Jake, who pushed Butch.
Jennifer ran over to them.
Butch swung at Jake, missed, and punched Jennifer in her face just when she arrived.
She dropped to the ground in pain.
Butch looked ashamed and quickly knelt down to her side. He shook her body to make sure she was alive. He lifted her head up and stroked her hair with love in his eyes. "You alright, darling?"
Jennifer looked up at Butch with sudden love in her eyes. "President Barnaby reinstated everybody back into NERP. You have more training to complete," she said but then her eyes crossed and she passed out.
Butch held her tight in her arms.
"Man, the President sure loves us!" Ronnie said.
Butch looked a little embarrassed over Ronnie's comment and knew the real reason but refused to spill the beans.
Jake looked suspicious of Butch.
Meanwhile, deep in the middle of France was the facility for the HariAnne Rocket Program.
In a large hangar, hung a picture of Anne Lefebvre, a sixty-year-old woman that had thick black hairy legs and armpits. Anne was the leader and founder of the HariAnne rocket program.
At the one end of the hangar was a small rocket engine with a "Made in Japan" label that sat along the side of a large wooden crate with "Asteroide" painted on both sides. At the front of this crate was a seat with a broomstick resembling the controls, which simulated the inside of a capsule.
At the rear of the wooden crate, Japanese, German and French scientists in lab coats watched a Robot that wore a French beret and had four arms with mechanical hands and fingers.
The robot walked over and picked up the small Japanese rocket engine with one mechanical arm and walked it to the backside of the wooden crate.
The scientists were satisfied that the robot passed that part of the test. This test was for installing a rocket engine to the rear of an asteroid.
Meanwhile, back at the Rocket Ranch in Space Beach, Jake and Butch were in their white spacesuits while they stood at the bottom of a swimming pool. A line with air ran down to their suits for oxygen. They installed a fake rocket engine to a wooden box at the bottom of the pool.
Jake's wrench slipped, and a nut broke off, and it floated to the bottom. Butch saw the nut at the bottom of the pool. He got mad then pushed Jake.
Jake grabbed Butch, and they floated to the bottom of the pool. They rolled around and punched each other in the water.
Then their eyes widen in shock. They gasped for air, and quickly swim to the surface of the water.
Once they reached the surface, they quickly removed their helmets and sucked in some precious oxygen.
They looked up at the edge of the pool and immediately got the dry heaves.
At the edge of the pool stood Ester, an eighty-five-year-old lady in a black thong bikini, bleached blonde wig and large round sunglasses. She had their airlines crimped in her hands while she stood next to Harold, her eighty-six-year-old husband who wore nothing but a red Speedo, pitch-black toupee and his nose was covered in thick white zinc.
"You and your stupid budget cuts! I wish you NERP people would quit using the swimming pools in our neighborhoods!" Ester yelled at Jake and Butch. Then she turned and saw Ronnie who lounged in his spacesuit in their lounge chair reading a girlie magazine. "And you; get out of my chair," she yelled at Ronnie.
"Yeah! What she said," Howard replied and didn't have the balls that Ester had when it came to dealing with people.
"Get off my property before I call the police!" Ester threatened while she pointed her index finger at them.
She dropped their airlines, and Ester and Howard walked away.
Jake, Butch, and Ronnie again had the dry heaves when they saw the large saggy tramp stamp on the back of Ester just above her saggy butt cheeks.
Ester and Howard walked into their house.
Jake and Butch got out of the pool and were met by Ronnie.
They rushed away from Ester and Howard's home.