For those who need more drama in their lives, we proudly present that outstanding tale of stand offishness, Stand off at Dry Gulch! Dramatic western music theme music begins to thunder out from the television. As the music plays, the following words are heard as the scene shifts to that of a typical western town.

“They call me Billy.”

With these words the camera zooms in for a close up on the speaker.

“Billy, the kid.”

We see our hero, naturally dressed in white, pull a revolver from a holster around his waist and spin the bullet chamber.

“Well, that ain’t surprisin. Ya can’t be any older than ten years old kid. ” These words are spoken by the villain, naturally dressed in black leather and drenched in sweat because of this dubious fashion choice.

The camera pulls back, revealing the two figures in the middle of the town. A clock nearby reads twelve noon.

Our hero spins the bullet chamber of his revolver again. “Who do you think you are, callin me a kid?”

The townspeople watching this stand off gasp at the audacity of this statement.

“Who am I? Round here they just call me…” A minor chord sounds, emphasizing the next words. “The Cowboy,” with that, the villain smiles, an evil smile revealing a mouth full of cavities, the terrible byproduct of a life of wickedness and sucking cheap dime store suckers.

The old saying was true, only suckers suck on suckers.

The hero is undeterred by this revelation. “Oh yeah, well, why don’t you go on back to your cows…boy..”

“I ain’t goin anywhere for the likes of you,” the villain snarls.

Drawn by this excitement, the crowd of bystanders grows larger. There hadn’t been so much hot air in town since the last election. Dramatic western music plays once again, building as the conflict escalates.

“Well, I got me six gun that says you better get outta town,” the hero shouts as he waves his revolver.

“Well, ain’t that purty, I got me a seven gun that says I’m stayin right here,” the Cowboy says as he pulls a pistol from his own holster.

With that, The Kid pulls yet another gun from the holster at his waist. “Well isn’t that sweet Boy, I got me two six guns to your seven gun.”

“You kids all just got cap guns so stop takin yerselves so seriously.” One of the townspeople shouts this out from his position on the sidelines.

There is an awkward pause.

The dramatic music warbles to a stop.

“Sides, you kids can’t have a proper stand off sittin down.” Another member in the crowd of bystanders shouts.

There is another awkward pause. Then the two children stand to their feet, brushing dust off of their jeans. They shove their cap guns back into their holsters and hang their heads in shame as they realize how foolish they have been behaving.

A school marm has been waiting off to the side. She seizes her opportunity, grabs the arms of the two naughty boys and drags them off to the school house where they belong.

Later, after school, both Billy the Kid and The Cowboy discuss only one thing, how they long for the day when they can fight like adults. However, for the moment they can only dream of the wonderful day, the day someday in the future when they can finally have a stand off and do some real damage.