Dear Willie,
My boyfriend wants to become a stand-up comedian which is quite frightening as he’s the most humourless person I’ve ever met. Honestly, he told a joke the other day, in the pub, about Edith Piaf and a cucumber, and got beaten up by a bunch of Frenchmen. That was the funniest thing about the night. How can I get him to drop this ambition?
Fanny, Dublin
Dear Fanny,
Getting beaten up by Frenchmen is not the end of the world. Many people have been beaten up by Frenchmen and gone on to live good, productive lives. In any case, Edith Piaf and the cucumber is not a joke but a true story, which is why it caused such offence to your French guests. The Little Sparrow’s appetites were well known, especially with regard to vegetables. Your man simply needs new material.
Willie