Jeff and María had such great sex that they would date several times. After the first night, they would meet again to go out for dinner, to dance and to have more sex. Jeff will show real interest in her story of past sexual abuse and mistreatment by her father and husband number one. She in turn would pay attention to his sad story of divorce and alimony payments that eat away his good salary in the States.
During this second date, they would have again passionate sex and have more great conversations in Spanglish. Neither one is very sure that the other understands the story, but the attention seems real in both directions. Three days later, they are still having sex and it is still paid sex. María explains to him that no matter how much she cares for him now, she still needs ―the dough‖ for her children. To prove her point, she makes two concessions: a reduction of the price from $100 to $85 and to have sex without condom.
Money is not the only reason for not using condoms. Sex workers as María do it to establish sexual intimacy with regular clients, ― novios‖, lovers or husbands. Kampadoo found the same pattern in her study on Caribbean sex tourism:
For example, whereas many sex working Caribbean women declare that condoms are regularly used with clients, once a client achieves the status of a steady partner, boyfriend or husband, or
“man” in a woman’s life, condoms are more likely be dispensed with. Sex work is associated with condom use and the likelihood of sexually transmitted diseases, while familiarity is considered safe or healthy.293
According to data from the 2000 survey, sex workers‘ practices vary between casual and regular clients: 90% of sex workers say that they have had occasional clients who do not want to use condoms.
More than 60% admitted having between 1 to 9 casual clients who do not like to use them. (Tables 12-14)
The pattern becomes stronger with regular clients. Sex workers have an average of 11 regular clients a month. Two thirds have between 20 and 50 clients. Despite the fact that 90% indicated they have used the condom during the last sexual relationship, 75% admitted to having between 1 to 9 regular clients who do not want to use them. This means that with regular clients there is a greater chance for unsafe sex.
Apparently, sex workers have different codes of behavior with clients, depending whether they are regular or not. A regular client is anyone who returns more than once. The transition from a casual to a regular client is usually rather quickly. A client might be casual on Monday night and a regular on Wednesday evening, as his return symbolizes a strong liking.
The majority of American tourists like to establish regular relationships with sex workers, a very dangerous practice for unsafe sex. In a Survey in one of the sex forums most mongers admitted that they kept regular relationships. 294
293 Kamala Kempadoo, Sexing the Caribbean. Gender, Race and Sexual Labor, London: Routledge, 2004, ebook, p.
465.
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From sex workers we get information that these regular relationships are dangerous for themselves and also for their clients. Sixty-seven per cent of the sample of sex workers had had sex between 1 and 19
regular clients during the last 30 days. Twenty three per cent had had sex between 20 and 49 regular clients. Most of the sex workers had problems in using condoms with their regular clients. One-third reported no problems with unsafe sex. Forty per cent, on the contrary, recognized having problems in using condoms with one to four of the regular clients. (Table 18)
The search for friendship is evidenced by the many return trips to Costa Rica. 90% of sexual tourists come more than once and one third comes more than ten times. One has been 59 times in the last few years. 295 The more they come the more regular they are perceived by sex workers who get to know them pretty well.
Astroglide, with a sense of humor, starts a thread where many of the tourists admit that Costa Rica, or mongering has become an addiction.
I admit I am addicted to Costa Rica. I spend most of my free time thinking about it, and most of my extra money
planning to go back. I just want to warn the newbies (especially those who have not gone down yet) that this
place is intoxicating and addictive. I have never smoked cigarettes, and have never experimented with illegal
drugs. But I admit I am hooked on this stuff. So, I thought you might be able to list the warning signs, of how
you know you have become addicted to Costa Rica:
1) Everytime you type the word President, you can't stop yourself from adding an E to the end. (Presidente) See,
I did it again.
2) You wake up hearing the sounds of an old dude playing a bad tune on a tuba....and you are in your own bed.
3) You go to the mall and every hot babe in a belly shirt you see you wonder if she would be a top earner at the
Del Buey.
4) You find yourself accidentally answering questions in spanish....like at the drive-up window at MacDonalds,
when you place your order and add "por favor" at the end, for no apparent reason.
5) You are having sex with your wife and accidentally blurt out "Eeeeee, Que Rico."
6) You go to the dry cleaners and insist on paying them when they are finished. Forgetting that such has been
the policy at every dry cleaners you have ever known.
7) After about two months of not being in Costa Rica, you start to get the shakes, and start scratching yourself
uncontrollably, everytime you walk by the trojan display at the Drug Store. You then look at them hanging there
longingly, and promise to put them out of their misery very soon.
You begin to check travelocity.com several times a day, forgetting that you had just checked an hour before. 296
CapoD2Tcapo adds some more items:
CapoD2TCapo
Joined: 02 Sep 2003
Posts: 136
Location: North Eastern New Jersey
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Posted: Sun Jun 13, 2004 9:45 am Post subject:
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Wow I can see this list is going to grow...
11. When you make www.costaricaticas.com your home page.
12. When the women at Immigration at San Jose Airport greets you like an old friend.
13. When all the Personal at the El Duende has you on a first name basis and your key is already coded and
they no longer need your credit card.
14. When all the cast of characters don't bother you anymore as they know your not giving them Shit.
15. YOU STOP DATING GRINGAS PERIOD as it is basically a waste of time, effort & Money.
And the list will grow from here.297
Not only do these men travel many times to Costa Rica, but a majority of them even consider relocating to the country. Moving to Costa Rica is for some an escape from America‘s harsh reality.
Men complain that they are fed up of paying mortgages, alimony, and taxes and of the American rat race. They want something peaceful and loving, a place where money is less important. This is rather contradictory as they use money to get it.
It is never clear what are they supposed to get once they move to fairyland. How this new life is meant to be?
McMonger thinks he has found a new Eden on earth. He feels ―warmth‖ in this country and the
―smiles‖ of the ― chicas‖ that makes it enticing. This third world country seems so nice and perfect that the man is ready to make the move.
After my recent trip to paradise, like many of you guys had indicated, I too certainly experienced that feeling of
loss, heartache, and general all around malaise, common to all returning mongers.
All that I experienced, from the warmth of the people, the beauty of the country, and of course the chicas to die
for, have caused acute soul searching on my part since my return.
I read the stories of you guys and your repeated trips (I think one guy has 59), and I begin to wonder, what, if
anything keeps me here in the Estados Unitas?
For every reason that I thought I had to remain here in the USA, I find more reasons not too.
The obligations, commitments, and responsibilities that I thought were so important, pale in significance when I
re-live in my memory the warm embrace, the shy smile, and the beauty of the "chica". The chica that are
everywhere, and readily available, in that land of enchantment.
I sat down and made a serious attempt at listing my reasons for staying home, alongside of my list for leaving.
What is so surprising in reflection, was how readily I was able to xxx out those reasons on the "to stay" side.
When I was finished, I came to the only conclusion that was possible for me.
I AM GOING298
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McMonger is not a unique case. Three fourths of the sample at www.costaricaticas.com are either considering, are taking steps to move or have already settled in Costa Rica. 299
Do you leave your life behind for a country that provides you with ―smiles‖ and ―warmth‖? This seems odd, as mongers offer no specific plans of what life would be once in Costa Rica. Some who already settled in this country complain that once your addiction for the ― chicas” diminishes life is rather boring and lonely. They argue that it is a passion that eventually fades away.
Prolijo, having already moved to Costa Rica and knowing the experiences or many other mongers gives a word of caution to McMonger. After all, he says, it is not the same to be on vacation than to permanently live in Costa Rica.
I don't mean to burst your bubble as I have a similar dream as yours - to move to CR as soon as I have the
finances worked out. But I can't emphasize enough for you the importance of moving a lot slower. From what I
understand you just finished your first trip. Teal has been going down 3-5X/yr for the past 15 years. VB and
Sailfish are veterans of many trips as well. These guys have a much better idea of what CR is really all about
than most of us. But did you notice that VB and Sailfish are renting and did not say anything about obtaining
legal residency? I have spoken to many ex-pats living in CR and have researched about it over the web and in
books and they all say the same thing - move slow.
Nearly a universally recommendation is to try it on first. As DJ, pointed out what is fun for a week is not
necessarily as much fun month after month. Sure going on vacation and banging lots of hookers is loads of fun,
but you're not going to be on permanent vacation. Unless you are really rolling in dough, popping down
$100/day on hookers like you do when you are on vacation is probably not part of your retirement budget.
Besides you may find you tire of the tica mentality, or SJ traffic, CR bureaucracy, expensive automotive costs,
and who knows what other aspect of CR that you failed to consider. Then again, maybe you won't. But you
won't know for sure until you've been down there a while. Do what others recommend. 300
Will Prolijo take this advice?
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14.