This is an institution that develops out of GFE and suggests a growing intensity in the relationship. It simply means that the customer sets up a house for the sex worker and sends her money. When he is in town, he acts as a lover and has a monopoly over the woman. When he leaves, she is ―free‖ to go back 312 http://www.costaricaticas.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?t=2934&highlight=poll 313 http://www.costaricaticas.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?t=3888
314 http://www.costaricaticas.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?t=3401
99
to her old job. 315 As in regular relationships, men who set up a second house expect intimate and bareback sex. According to the polls in CostaRicatica.com, 30% of American tourists send money to the women.
Having a second house was common for men in 19th Century Latin America. Men would have a house for his wife and children and another for his lover and her children. Latin men abandoned this institution as it became too expensive to keep. Nowadays is the American male who is reviving the past and displaying one of the characteristics of Latin machismo.
Some tourists warn their colleagues of its dangers. One monger says that women usually ask for money and they promise, ―They will be your loving fiancé and marry you!‖ This also happened to him:
Be very careful about this! I did this and was scammed but Good ! The woman that did this to me is still doing it
to other men at this time also ! I am trying to find out who they are and warn and help them!
I supported her for two years , until I discovered her scam .... She uses these men for there money and supports
her " Tico " Boyfriend ... If you are one of these men or know one . Please contact me ! I can put you in touch
with the right people and lawyers so maybe we can stop her ! 316
PacoLoco is aware that some mongers have second houses. Many of these men can be sharing the same woman who acts as a loving wife to each one. If the woman is infected, she might pass it to all her
―husbands‖. Despite his awareness, Paco Loco still believes there could be an exception, which shows again how he also wants to delude himself.
I have a friend currently "paying" a chica not to work. He has been warned but is a big boy and it's his money.
In my opinion it's stupid, will only turn out badly for him in the end and I wouldn't trust her as far as I could
throw her, but then again she could be the one honest, sincere, ex-hooker in the country and they might live
happily ever after. 317
King Costa attacks Astro for his naiveté in sending money to sex workers. He thinks it is a big business for the women and a terrible one for the men: ―Let's assume she can convince 5 guys that they are special and convinces them to send them money on a regular basis in return for e mails, phone conversations and the promise of a great time when they return.‖ If each sends her $300 a month, ―She now has a residual income of $1,500 to do virtually nothing and if you add sex work, she makes double money.‖ ―What is the advantage for the Gringo,‖ he asks: ―Not much really, usually takes no more than 5 minutes to find another one. Sometimes 10 if you are a little slow or drunk.‖ And the disadvantage?‖
1. Now you cannot monger without all of her phuckin friends ratting
you out. Everytime she need extra money she is gonna hit you up.
2. You have to listen to all her problems.
3. She might get pregnant.
King Costa, once he summarizes all these stories, suggests to his fellow mongers: ―NO NOVIA RULE...‖ 318
315 http://www.costaricaticas.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?t=3401
316 http://www.costaricaticas.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?t=3401
317 http://www.costaricaticas.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?t=3401
318 http://www.costaricaticas.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?t=3401
100
Others such as Goetzvonberlishingen think that sex workers can make more money without having to set up emotional relationships and that when they do; they sabotage their arrangements by demanding too much financially.
Once a chica establishes a novio relationship with her gringo, why do they insist on pressing the monetary
demands exponentially to the point of termination of the relationship? …
They kill the golden goose and then have to start the hunt and the breakin all over again. How stupid. It would
be much smarter and more productive to keep the demands small and reasonable and go for the long term and
cultivate guys they can enjoy anyway.
So that's the question, why do chicas insist on getting more and more ridiculous with their requests for money
until we blow them off instead of making their pursuit easier with pleasant reasonable relationships.319
Flander believes the women will demand more money whether there is a financial crisis or not. He was dating a woman twenty years younger than him. She used to work in the States and had purchased a car and a home in Costa Rica. Nevertheless, when he visited her ―everytime im (sic) in sjo there is a crisis of some sort in her personal life that requires money. will not go into detail but some of them are down right inventive and very clever. ..i have come to the conclusion that all ticas, regardless of age, socio economic status whatever are born to the hustle. no matter that they dont need the money, its a game to get it from any gringo they find and the more the better..‖ 320
Witling, finally, suggests other mongers to put themselves in the women‘s shoes.
My opinion and of course there are exceptions to everything:
1. Most of the full-time working girls are not educated.
2. They see things in black and white (and green).
3. Their future visions only consist of the next score except for their fantasies. I've seen girls talking about
"how much they got" for a 1 hour tryst.
4. As King Costa mentioned, they think all Gringos are rich, and we are, compared to them. Afterall, don't we
fly to Costa Rica and blow hundreds of dollars 2 or 3 (or more) times a year?
5. Guys come and go, the only constants for these girls are their niños and their families and the need to make
money. They know there are no guarantees so they get what they can before it runs out. Also consider many of
these girls have, somewhere in their past, been abused or at least taken advantage of by a male. It might have
been an abusive father, a local "novio" or a customer, but most do have scars. Their perspective on men,
especially customers, has jaded them somewhat.
Think of it like this, you grew up poor, you quit school at the age of 14, you have a Ch*ld to feed, suddenly
someone tells you that they will pay you more than you've ever earned in you life just for doing something you
used to do for free. Suddenly you think you've hit the lottery and it will never run out.321
The institution of a second house is another avenue to HIV infection. It involves the sex worker and her client, her intimate partner and her client‘s and any other sexual partner that either one may have.
Prolijoś wife might feel quite safe back in Florida with regard to HIV infection. Paco Loco‘ s sexual 319 http://www.costaricaticas.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?t=3401
320 http://www.costaricaticas.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?t=3401
321 http://www.costaricaticas.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?t=2610
101
partner, who works at Walmart in Kentucky, might never feel to be a part of a HIV group risk. But the stark truth is that both women are having unsafe sex with partners who are among the most vulnerable to get AIDS. A ― novia‖ is not necessarily the woman you have a second house with. She might be someone you date more than once. Clients admit not using condoms with their ―novias‖: ―I hate condoms. I hate them, I really do, but with boinking (sic), I wear one, with the exception of a couple of my novias.‖ 322
To study the relationship between intimacy and sex, we included in the 2000 Survey those relationships with men where money is not paid for sex. These men can be boyfriends, lovers, pimps, friends and husbands or anyone who has known the woman for sometime.
48% of the sex workers did not use condoms with their intimate relationships. (Table18). Nevertheless, among the respondents who currently have a partner, 86% do not use a condom, and among those who use it only 8% do it always. Sex workers reported that they had control over the decision of whether or not to use the condom in these relationships. This means that they express trust with the practice of taking risks with partners. These partnerships based on trust and not on money turn to be the most dangerous for both actors with regard to HIV infection. Sex workers reported that the main reason for not using condoms was when they were in relationships (60%). (Table 18) We asked María to tell us what sort of man is the one she is intimate with. She responds that it is a man who is a friend of hers. We then ask her to tell us what does it take to become a friend. She thinks that it takes time. ―A friend is someone who I know for a while‖- she answers. ―How long is the minimum you need to know someone?‖ We inquired. ―At least a week‖- she indicates. ―Then we can say that if you meet someone on Monday for sex and he comes next week for another session, he is already a friend?‖ She waits for a minute and responds positively. ―Do you use condoms with friends?‖- We insist. ―With some I do and with others I don‘t‖- she responds. ―How about with a ― novio” or a lover?‖-We wanted to know. ―With people I am in love with I don´t use condoms‖- she says. ―Who are you in love with?‖-We insisted. ―Those men who are good to me‖- is her response. ―Are these men the ones who send you money, bring you gifts and see you more regularly?‖- We inquired. ―Yes, a friend is a person that cares for you‖-She states. ―Do Americans can be considered your friends and lovers?‖
We asked. ―I only consider American men to be serious enough for that‖- she responds.
Given Marías‘ view of friendship, it is to be expected she would not use regularly condoms with regular partners (those who come more than once), “novios” , lovers or husbands.
―When you are in love- she concludes- one does not know what a fool you can be.‖
322 http://www.costaricaticas.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?t=939&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=15
102
17.