Spidey girl and the prosecutor hid behind the tinted windows just waiting patiently for me to walk outside from the courthouse and into the parking lot. If truth be told? I didn’t know where I was going. The courts still had my phone in the evidence room and I was told my car was waiting for me back at my apartment just 6 miles away. I knew I could make the walk home as without my phone booking an Uber or Lyft just wasn’t an option for me. Those people in that courtroom weren’t my friends and deep down I knew that. They were only pretending to care.
76
A Secret Spyder Verse Once this story of attempted murder would no longer be “juicy”
each and everyone of those left wingers would defriend me the moment the news reporters would lose interest in the story and all the left wingers would stand no shot at getting on the evening news.
Spidey girl was behind the wheel of the big black SUV with Debra in the passenger seat. The air conditioner was blasting full speed ahead so Debra could cool down. Together they hid behind the dark tint and just stared at me from afar without me knowing.
The chiropractor was a lot less tense than Debra. The AC made her cold but she knew Debra needed it to prevent her soaking away a good fancy dress.
Spidey Girl caressed the steering wheel as she eyed me up like a lost soul. “You know, he’s never gonna get better until he talks to someone.”
Debra grunted. “Hmph! He’s been trapped in that bubble for years.
Still adamantly refuses to see a psychiatrist even when it’s free of charge.”
Spidey Girl chuckled. “He must have a lot of deep dark secrets 77
A Secret Spyder Verse tucked away in that big massive brain of his.”
“Big massive brain?”
The chiropractor chuckled. “Yeah. Most days he would say absolutely nuthn. Zilch. Until one day he stated he believed his neck pain was from all the weight of his big heavy massive brain pushing down on it. Claimed he had a big brittle giraffe neck.”
Debra finally chuckled. “He talked like that did he? Doesn’t he realize were only trying to help him?”
Spidey Girl didn’t reply so Debra continued. “Doctor You know if she gets away with this….she’s already tried to kill him once…who’s to say she won’t try at it again?”
The chiropractor thought about it for a minute. “How do we even know for sure whether he even cares if he lives?”
78
“What you mean?”
“I mean…it sure didn’t take me long to find his sister in his contact list when I went through his phone on the rocks yesterday. Come to think about it….all those appointments with him…his phone never chirped once.”
“Maybe he turns it off?”
Spidey Girl shook her head. “Nope. But he never trusts me. Usually hides it under a ballcap before he lies on the table. I know it’s the same phone because it fell out onto the floor one day.”
I sensed eeriness from a dark SUV idling some thirty yards away from me so I abruptly wondered off to the left as I planned now to exit the parking lot a different route. Besides, I wanted to get away from the crowd leaving as well. I needed to leave fast in case reporters would spot me and shove a microphone under my nose.
The moment I cleared a big blue dumpster was the exact moment I spotted her. Those same big frisbee sunglasses was a dead giveway. She noticed me recognizing her and she took off 79
A Secret Spyder Verse sprinting. I took off sprinting as well so I could chase after her. I knew whom I was chasing. It was Carmen. Carmen from Langley Virginia. AKA Carmen from the CIA.
“Stop!”, I shouted. “I just want to talk!”
The little lightweight African American lady completely ignored me. She wouldn’t be caught dead having a conversation with me period. Let alone having a conversation with me near a courthouse.
“Stop Carmen! Stop I say!”
But she didn’t stop and continued to Sprint down the alley. I knew I had her completely spooked simply by saying her name. I wasn’t supposed to know her name. And I DEFINITELY wasn’t supposed to know what she looked like. She was a feisty one that Carmen.
She was in fact that clandestine guerilla that had been on my back since 2009. The ringleader. The orchestrator, the one that frequently went the extra mile to utilize ALL possible thought attempts to put me back behind bars where she felt I belonged.
Among all U.S citizens, Carmen was always the one that felt the most freightened by my mental illness. A corrupt CIA operative 80
A Secret Spyder Verse she was. Willing to stop at nothing and use other humans as pawns and bait to divert me from my work.
As beads of sweat tickled my nose I knew I had to give up the chase. Simply put Carmen was just more athletic and had no problems outrunning me. It was always embarrassing for me over the years having A FEMALE shadowing me for the past 11 years.
And a petite lightweight at that!
I started to make my way down James Street feeling completely defeated. The case wasn’t over yet and I was required to return to the courts tomorrow as I had surmised they were expediting the investigation before it would have a chance to branch out into the crooked police officers that were part of a gambling ring that secretly led to deaths of reporters. It was clear they wanted to wrap things up pretty quick but you could only have so much testimony doled out in one day.
I felt the heat of an exhaust pipe slightly burning the calves of my legs. I turned around and immediately recognized once again the Harvard University shirt. It was Steve. The last psychiatrist I had spoken to in years. Steve was stalking me with an old grey Volvo. I figured that might be the kind of vehicle he might drive so I wasn’t 81
A Secret Spyder Verse surprised. He rolled his window down to talk to me as he crept along side of me.
“I think you should get in.”
I didn’t slow down my gait. “I think I’ll be okay.”
I had forgotten that Steve already knew where I lived. He pressed on.
“You wont make it in this heat you
know that.”
I knew technically he was right. If I tried to walk the whole way home there was even a chance Officer Redinger might try once again to give me a citation for walking on his highway. $141.50. Did I really feel like parting with my hush money?
82
A Secret Spyder Verse I got in Steve’s Volvo and immediately buckled my seatbelt. The psychiatrist got straight to the point.
“You need help.”
“I need help? Doc you and I both know if I get help this whole town loses it and will have to learn to govern itself. I assure you, if all these secrets get out the only one that will be left in the alphabet soup will be the bystanding pastor.”
“I don’t get it.”
“Guess who I just tried to chase down?”
Steve looked worried but still was able to drive like Miss Daisy. “I don’t know…who?”
“Carmen”
“Who is Carmen?”
83
“A CIA operative. The ring leader of this ENTIRE show.”
“You lost me Bob.”
I noticed a rectangular shape protruding from the side of his dark pants. “Can I see your phone doc?”
“Sure.” He said plucking it out then handing it to me.
I immediately dug my fingernails into it trying to pry it apart.
“What are you doing to my phone!”
“I need to get the battery out so we can talk freely doc.”
“Oh there’s no need for that. There’s a frequency jamming vestibule right here between us. Here ..” He said as I watched him drop it in then slam shut the compartment lid. I knew right then and there I was free to talk without worrying of any ear hustling.
84
A Secret Spyder Verse I got right to it. “Carmen is threatened by my mental illness. Seems to believe I may blow up the world. So she’s using my family members to orchestrate faux affairs with hopes it will divert me from my work.”
“Faux affairs?”
“My mom isn’t having sex with the creepy old man that she’s been hanging out with from the church. It took me darn near seven years to figure it all out. She merely using him as bait. That lonely old man is nothing more than a sacrificial pawn.”
Steve immediately became enthralled at what I was saying. The look of fascination was all over his face.
“How do you know she isn’t?”
“There was too much confidence in her voice that night. Believe me. I know when mommy is lying.”
“Umm…okay…so what does that have to do with your sister-in-law 85
A Secret Spyder Verse trying to kill you?”
“Oh you mean Dangerous Rogue. Evidently I was not aware my sister in law was a voracious reader and stumbled upon one of my books that she must have found alarming. Somehow my sister in-law was putting the pieces together and realizing that Carmen’s plan wouldn’t and couldn’t ever work. She eventually teamed up with her and opted to give it a shot with a whole new diversion by posting her own ooh-oohs up on the internet.”
“Ooh-oohs?”
“You know. Those fake headlights that caught my attention.
Accidently stumbled across it in my junk mail.”
I could sense Steve was completely flabbergasted at this point.
“So how do you know she wasn’t just frustrated with your brother?”
“How do I know? Well I can tell you this doc. Every weird thing 86
A Secret Spyder Verse going on has to do with the dates of things happening prior. My entire family has secretly been teaming up with Carmen trying to think of clever ways to incarcerate me so they can sleep better at night. The funny part is my father has no clue what has been secretly happening all these years and now he’s fat. Mommy knew from the door that he would still stick around.”
“I’m still lost. Why would your sister in law want you dead? Did it have something to do with maybe her worrying her plan would backfire and it would destroy her reputation? Did you show anybody the picture of what you call “fake headlights”?”
“Of course not doc! I insinuated that I knew but would never be foolish enough to share the evidence realizing I would then have to explain me myself and what I was doing on those dating sites. It was better off for me to play dumb like I never saw anything.”
“And what about your sister-in-law’s attorney. What was that murder stuff you were talking about?”
“Okay doc I’ll admit that. I struggle with employers and he’s smarter than any attorney I have EVER met. Why would I be in a hurry to turn someone in to authorities that I knew I would need 87
A Secret Spyder Verse legal help from for all my years to follow?”
Steve was still heavily enthralled. I knew he knew where I lived but was purposely taking the long way home.
“So how then Bob were you able to piece together his motive?”
“Like I told him once before when I wanted to squeeze more legal work out of him. Over seven billion voices in this world and many sound alike. But only one voice sounds like his.”
Steve gripped tighter the steering wheel. “Yeah and so?”
"I guess you could say…well…ummm…I guess you could say I was able to identify the cameraman. I was able to identify the cameraman even
without seeing his face.
88
A Secret Spyder Verse CHAPTER. 11
The psychiatrist ran out of scenic routes to keep me talking and eventually dumped me off at my apartment. Sure enough my car was parked in my driveway. I didn’t want Steven knowing which apartment was mine so I stalled by getting the mail so he could turn his Volvo around and vamoose. Once he was out of site I immediately went inside my car and got in the driver’s seat.
Mother fucker I thought to myself when I noticed the toothpicks 89
A Secret Spyder Verse tossed on the passenger seat. Evidently the creepy old man from the church had in fact been driving my personal vehicle. I knew from day one since I bought my car that my family got help from the police procuring a spare key. The tall Korean fellow that sold me the car August 1st,2018 was quite curious why the police were stalking the vehicle while we were inside the notary. It would not surprise me in the least if it was in fact my little brother that used his police gloves to tighten shut the plastic cap to my 20oz bottle of diet Coke I kept for extra water. It had been screwed on so tightly that the cap itself had swollen to the size of a donut almost because it had surpassed so many plastic threads. I knew all these car property invasions were illegal because I own the title to my vehicle.
I started the car up then immediately shut it off. I suddenly reminisced about words once spoken by my bosses wife when my car wouldn’t start because the GPS device the authorities planted was sucking up the juice from my car battery. After taking a look under my hood she had said
“Oh you got one of those I see.”
I slammed shut my driver door and immediately made my way to 90
A Secret Spyder Verse the concrete steps that led down to the apartment in the basement. Or dungeon as I like to call it. It was past 2:30pm and I knew George was finished with his routes collecting garbage. My paranoia was so bad at this point I was too afraid to set foot in my own apartment so I decided to creep down below and visit George. George was a lanky 66 year old man stuck working at a garbage company because he didn’t yet have enough credits to retire.
I pounded hard on the cellar door. I Never pound hard on George’s door unless it’s an emergency. Yeah, I purposely bounce from job to job preventing anyone the chance to know me. Yeah, I purposely change my phone number ALL the time to keep old friends at bay. But Trash man George? He is a ghost like no other.
No living family, no close friends obviously because his has already died. But the greatest thing about George? No cellphone period. Not only did old man George not have a cellphone, his apartment was underground deep enough that if anyone did it wouldn’t work anyways. George had given me quite a bit of
“ghost” competition over the years. His long scrangly hair blanketed his entire face so if his ballcap blew away in the wind he still had his hair to support his incognito.
I pounded hard on his door. “George! George! George! Open up!
91
A Secret Spyder Verse It’s an emergency!”
Even George wasn’t healthy enough to open up quickly in an emergency. I had no choice but to wait it out. I have an 86 year old pop pop so I’ve learned to be patient with old people. Finally the front door opened all creepy like as if this were a Wizard of Oz movie.
I all but pushed poor George out of the way as I made my way inside.
“There’s no time George! There’s no time! She’s in town! It’s really her! I can’t believe it took me this long to identify her!”
George moved around slowly and remained calm. He did his best to settle me down.
“But how? How can you be so certain Dirty Bird? How can you be so certain? You’re talking about Spidey Girl right?”
“You’re damn right George! She’s been sitting right under my nose 92
A Secret Spyder Verse this entire time! And get this George….and I’m talking majorly proficient…I’m quite certain she’s the one. You know how I know?
You know how I know George?”
George shook his head no. “How do you know Dirty Bird? They have been trying to create her since 1995 and she still hasn’t made it to the big screens. Nobody has even heard of Spyder woman yet.
How can you be so sure she’s up for her role?”
I grabbed both of George’s shoulders at the same time. “Because when she spies she doesn’t get caught! That’s how I know! I’ll have to give her additional training yes. But Spidey girl is the only chance I have at finally getting this guirella off my back!”
I picked up a Marvel comic book out of the basket and tossed it at George so he could look at it.
“You see George it all makes sense! She’s the real deal. You remember what I keep telling ya?”
George shook his head no. Evidently over the years I have been telling him a lot of dumb shit. I continued on with my charade 93
A Secret Spyder Verse anyways.
“The greatest marriage counselor never married, the greatest drug counselor never used drugs, and the greatest chiropractor?
Never had a spine of her own! Don’t you get it George?”
George shook his head no. He was completely lost in this psychotic episode of mine.
“It’s her George I know it is! I stumbled upon her background by accident scrolling old text messages. She was born blue George!
Just like spiders! She was born blue because she has no spine of her own! Just like spiders have no vertebrae! The chiropractor George! The chiropractor is Spider Woman!!!”
Over the years some of George’s coworkers had nicknamed George “Can Opener” because of his rotted teeth. I was always the one very careful not to call him by that nickname as it hurt his feelings. I of course expected things in return. George knew better than to address me as “Blakey”. George always insisted on addressing me by my proper name because I had always assured him that
94
A Secret Spyder Verse only he knew of my villain name, Dirty Bird.
“Dirty Bird slow down my man. Your racing thoughts are gonna eat away at you like a cancer. What’s gonna happen when you find out she’s just a regular doctor intrigued by your hallucinations?”
I frantically looked around darkness for the crotch rocket. There were spiders EVERYWHERE down here. Crazy George had no fear of spiders. He saved on air conditioning just being underground but I could never figure out how he never had any problems living with spiders. It’s why George was such a big asset to me.
Everybody that came around this apartment complex seemed to forget about crazy George living down below. It was so spooky down here nobody ever thinks to come down and pay the old man a visit.
“Listen George. I do appreciate you helping me out but my demons can’t rest until I publicly expose Carmen for ruining my family. Not only has Carmen ruined my family but she has this entire town upset and confused. You and I both know that nobody will believe us if we try to hunt Carmen and bring her to justice ourselves. We need help from the doctor. We need help from Spyder woman.”
95
A Secret Spyder Verse George liked comic books. Especially the old ones like the gold key star trek ones. As the smile started to form on his face I could tell he was piecing all of this together bit by bit.
"For the love of God Dirty Bird let’s be professionals here. She needs a villain name if we really think we can train Spyder woman to catch her. Does this dangerous CIA operative have a name? Have you bestowed a name upon her?
I kicked up the leg stand from the crotch rocket and picked up a back pack full of hush money cash.
“Who Carmen? You want me to dub her a name? What if I told you she ALREADY has a name?”
George got out of my way as I pushed the crotch rocket past him.
He evidently knew I was going on an impromptu road trip that was top secret.
“Yeah? What is it?” He asked.
96
A Secret Spyder Verse I tossed a Rand Mcnalley paper road map inside of my cash full back pack and zipped it shut.
“Demon Snatcher! It’s no secret Mr.George, EVERYBODY in this world has demons and Carmen has always made it her life mission to snatch those demons away. Carmen has always been known as the Demon Snatcher.”
I had to leave George and I had to leave him now. I was quite certain that he understood and besides he knew I would eventually be coming back. That is of course, if everything went as according to plan.
It didn’t take me long to push the crotch rocket up the steps so I could work on getting it fired up to ride it. Old man George managed to muster up the strength to follow me up the concrete steps. It was so rare for George to be seen in broad daylight. He had some parting words for me.
“I like the sound of that Dirty Bird. Spyder Girl vs The Demon Snatcher.”
97
A Secret Spyder Verse The 250ccs revved up and I couldn’t make out what old man George was saying. The clock was ticking and I knew I had one serious mission of my own to accomplish. I had to retrieve my sister’s phone. I had to retrieve my biological sister’s phone before it was too late.