Challenges: Tension, stress, harsh words, conflict, fights, arguments, quality of family life together, synergy, emotions that are rampant and patience wearing thin, upset at the smallest little thing. Lack of focus and direction
Rewards: How you as a family can bond together and work through things, caring and supporting each other, even when the going gets tough, making the bonds and connections even stronger than before. Talking about things that are hard and how you are coping can be an eye-opener, sharing perspectives and solutions very empowering!
Providing stability, order, schedule, routine and a firm foundation amidst uncertainty is a huge responsibility BUT also an immense opportunity to reconnect with each other.
Getting, staying and keeping everyone else on track and organized, fed, clothed, taken care of, on time, where they need to be, when they need to be, in clean clothes and staying sane in the process can be quite the challenge for any single parent. The reward is that is provides you with the opportunity to inspire, engage and mobilize your kids into and in your family unit. They take part in building and shaping their own happiness, family life and future. That is the great reward. A new start and beginning, possibilities and potential. Keep focusing on the positive as opposed to dwelling in and upon the past. It is of extreme importance that anyone and everyone stay connected, have a voice, speak up, communicate clearly and check in with each other regularly. This is the perfect opportunity to help starting the healing process, strengthening the bonds and connections between parents and kids, individually and collectively as a family unit.
You are the authority and disciplinarian in the family unit. Demand and earn respect, trust and honesty. Be fair, open and consistent. Do not over-react and set some rules that you all can live with in this new situation. Organizing and customizing your lives the way you want it. Who gets to do what, when? Which sports and after-school activities, weekends and hobbies and more can be discussed and decided together. The sole parent, guardian and champion of course has the final say and input.
Do everything in your power to foster your children’s uniqueness and personality. Everyone has something that makes them unique NEVER FORGET THAT. Encourage their self-sufficiency and independence. Let them do chores around the house, take control of their lives and stop acting like victims, try and play guilt-games or manipulate, disobey, rebel or act out. Teach them to respect you, each other and others at all times.
How does your family (new) handle conflict, stress and crisis? Are there verbal arguments in the household?
Can you still love and care for each other, despite the difficulty and or words that you are having? How do you stay grounded and connected with each other?
Are there opportunities for the family and you and the kids, one-on-one to discuss how they feel, what they want, concerns, disagreements?