She was tired, and I carried a lot of guilt. The kids were growing distant and this all resulted in frequent arguments and sometimes shouting matches.
I was desperately trying to make up for lost time with my oldest son who was already in high school, and I was trying to bring warmth and trust back into our family. To begin that process, we dove into the deep end and attended a Family Board Meetings retreat.
My son was hesitant to go to the first event; he did not want speak in front of the group, any group, about his relationship and feelings. When we arrived, it got worse; a few attendees that had gone through recent tragedies were very emotional in the opening moments and he got nervous. I kept reinforcing that there were no requirements—that he did not have to share or join in. Jim and the other facilitators made the difference. They immediately connected with him as an equal. In the end, we couldn't STOP him from sharing. I was incredibly impressed and deeply grateful. That event and the Board Meeting Strategy saved our family.
Now, the arguments at home are almost non-existent. We have family dinner almost every evening. We openly discuss what happens at school, the temptations of drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, and many other subjects we'd never have discussed before. My son and I both have continued our daily gratitude journals.
There’s been a massive increase in trust between my son and me, and we’ve adopted a number of family-first practices as a result of what we’ve learned. Including this Board Meeting Strategy every 90 days. Now, when anything happens or someone says something that is surprising in our house, our initial thought is that it was meant out of love. We trust that we want the best for each other, that we have each other's back.
It is hard to put into words the importance and impact that a personal connection has made for my son. There are very few concerns anymore that he wouldn't bring directly to his mother or me, but I really appreciate that Jim makes himself always available and that my son goes to him before some of the much worse choices he has at school.”