The most common pitfall is also the most easily remedied: not scheduling your Board Meetings. When I first started working with some highly successful and busy people, I found that 80 percent of the time, failure came from simply not scheduling the meeting in advance.
These were busy mothers and fathers working at a high level—most of their lives were run by their calendars. All they had to do to solve the problem was simply schedule it—either themselves, or have their staff do it. Yet they skipped that step, and it cost them.
Just do it. Now. It takes only seconds, and it almost guarantees success.
Another pitfall is not letting your child choose the activity. This can easily lead to them being disengaged or “bored” with what the parent picked. Let go, and let your child choose. If you simply show genuine enthusiasm and a willingness to go all-in and follow your child’s lead, you’ll make some game-changing deposits to your relationship, instead of painful withdrawals.
Lastly, this is not a time to discipline or lecture on all the improvements they need to make. Although feel free to share improvements that you yourself might need to work on. :)
Yes! Quality time is the common thread of all close human connection; the principles of this strategy work in strengthening any relationship. Grandparent-grand- child, aunt-nephew, Big Brother volunteer-Little Brother sponsor, friend-friend, sibling-sibling, and yes, even be- tween spouses.
Board Meetings are about connection, so they can work with anyone you value in your life. Best of all, you have almost nothing to lose! For just a few hours of time, you open the possibility to transform your most important relationships and simplify your home life for the better.
Absolutely not, and the best way to describe why is to share a childhood memory. I remember watching the New York Giants' summer football camp as a child and seeing the team break up into small practice groups. After having their separate practices, they came back together to practice as a whole team.
These individual practice sessions help the team improve by first separating and strengthening the individual parts, so they can come together as a stronger whole. The same thing happens when you spend one-on-one time with each of your children: individual relationships grow stronger, and they connect and strengthen the whole family.
One-on-one time is crucial for a couple of reasons. First, we know that children start developing individuality around the age of nine. At that age, their self-concept becomes very important, and as parents, we need to recognize each child as a unique person. Nothing works better to achieve this than one-on-one time. It shows our kids that we honor their individuality.
Second, children often don't want to discuss certain issues in a group setting. Only one-on-one time maximizes trust and intimacy enough to make a child feel comfortable enough to speak about anything. I come from a family of five children, and I remember not wanting to talk about certain things in front of my siblings. By creating a special one-on-one space, we encourage real openness between parent and child.
One thing I noticed after a year or two of using this strategy was that the events start to run together. I realized I might be losing touch with some of the most powerful moments of my life.
Now, I take a photo at each Board Meeting, and then jot down a few moments of the time together. When was it? What did we do? What were our top reflections and highlights?
My goal is that when my kids leave the house, I can hand them a simple reflection journal of our times together that they will always cherish.