Chapter Five
The first thing I want to say today is, "Thank You!"
You are welcome. Why the urgency?
I just spent all day working at a local Zaxby's watching my "superiors" go through the learning process.
And this made you say 'Thank You' to me?
Well yes. You did give me the power to empathize with them as they grow. And it was just too funny watching their nervous looks and knowing exactly what they were thinking when they were thinking it.
No, YOU gave yourself that power.
I suppose so. Truthfully, the only reason I know what other people are thinking is because I have been in their shoes before. It truly is amazing how many things I have experienced at my age.
Yes it is you don't give yourself enough credit where it is due and that has been a huge damper on your lifestyle Jay.
I think I saw this coming.
Do you have any idea the amount of people you have affected in this world in a positive way?
I guess not. I mean, I am aware that I am a good person and all, and a hard worker, and a lover not a fighter. I admit I have helped a few people along the way. But I have also hurt people too.
Everyone has hurt people!
Not everyone. What about the Virgin Mary or Mother Theresa?
Give me a break huh? We are talking about YOUR story here. And yes, of course they have! How do you think they became aware of that which they are not? They must have experienced at one point or another. One thing can not exist without its opposite existing as a reference point.
Okay, okay- I was just giving you a hard time.
Trust me when I tell you son that you have done much more good for others' lives than you have done bad.
Really, do you mean that?
Yes, stop being hard on yourself. I bet you that you will begin receiving letters about how you have affected people and their lives in the near future. Just wait and see.
Whoa, easy with it! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! You make me seem like Iam begging for something!
What? Are you retarded?
Probably, I do feel like people just aren't telling me I'm a retard sometimes.
Hahahhah! You're probably right- just kidding. No but really you are. What?
I guess you'll never know.
I'm okay with that. I always wanted to be a retard anyhow.
Now THAT is funny! You know what the hardest part about eating a vegetable is right?
Stop... you are going too far!
Why? You don't think GOD has a sense of humor? What? You think you're gonna say something that offends me? If I didn't want to be offended then I would not have made it possible to offend. So back off!
Okay, okay what gives? So tell me, what’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
You know.
I know I do. So say it!
Okay….. forgive me lord.
Give me a BREAK! What do you want me to hold your hand!? ALRIGHT! The hardest part about eating a vegetable is the wheel chair.
OKAY! There!
That always gets me laughing. You know that WAS funny. Alright, I'm laughing. I just hate being judged.
Who is going to judge you?
Whoever might be reading this? My family, my friends, my psychiatrist! I knew you had a sense of humor.
Seriously though, I may end up with one when I finally let people read this thing.
No you won't.
How do you know?
I don't.
Well, that's reassuring especially since I had a vision of being in a.... I know the vision you had.
So I did have it, it was real!
Yes, but remember what I said. You must know what you are not to truly be what you are. Besides, we will touch on that later. In the meantime let's get back to the subject. People will not judge you for joking like that.
Why not?
Because you just said, "you always wanted to be a retard!"
I have truthfully. I always thought it wouldn't be that bad.
I know you have so isn't it kind of like making fun of yourself? Really, you all are making fun of yourselves no matter who you are, because we are all one like it or not.
Okay, maybe. But there are those people who take care of the handicapped who will hate me for saying something like, "I would like to be a retard."
Yes, there are. And so what would you say to those who confront you about it?
I would tell them that I have great respect for them, and that I admire their strength and love, that they are even stronger and more in tune with the true nature of GOD than I am.
That is a pretty strong compliment, seeing as you are speaking to what you deem the Godhead directly.
Yes, I suppose it is. I suppose you couldn't get much closer to GOD unless you were GOD.
You got that right!
So are you saying those people are GODS?
I am not saying anything as there are those who don't enjoy their work with the handicapped as well. But I would go so far as to say, "A person with such compassion to dedicate oneself to anything with nothing but JOY is truly one deserving of the finest rewards."
I agree.... Ya know. I can't believe THIS is what I do for fun. I mean writing this book. I actually enjoy it!
It's great isn't it? You'd never guess what I do for fun.
I already know, you just sit back and laugh at others experiencing the same things you have.
Exactly! And you have started doing the same thing on a smaller scale.
I have, but I am not laughing at people's misfortune though. I am laughing because it is so funny to see someone else experiencing something that I have before.
You are right in doing this, so don't feel bad or negatively about it.
Oh- I don't. At least I try not to; I don’t show it when I see it. I just laugh inside and I hide my chuckles.
It's hard yeah?
Oh yeah! Man, it must be excruciating for you!
No, I come to comfort as do you.
I guess I know what you mean, I am doing it now. I remember my first girlfriend use to laugh anytime she felt hurt or scared. She told me, "If you just learn to laugh at it, it has no power over you."
She was right.
I know.
Who was she?
Denika, Denika Smallwood.