Chapter Seventeen
Okay I'm up!
Well hello there.
Every time I hear that term I think of Michele Pfeiffer busting the 'O' and the 'T' out of her pink fluorescent lights in her apartment just before she turns into catwoman.
That's a good way to start the morning.
I was trying to be funny, you know 'Hell here'?
I know, but its way too early for that though.
Tell me about it, I think there is a damn bird nesting in my hair.
Ha.
What? Laughter, but I thought it was too early for that.
Yeah, but I just got the picture of you with a roadrunner in your hair pecking at seeds.
That would be funny. Hell I wouldn't be surprised I am going to get a hair cut today.
If you're gonna spend the 15 bucks, you outta tell them to cut more than just one hair, there ARE about 125000 hairs on a human head, a hair really wouldn't make much of a difference.
Funny- you know what I mean.
I know, just keeping score that's all.
You're competitive aren't you?
Oh yeah!
That's pretty weird, seeing as you are all there is and all. I mean who hangs around in space with no friends and plays games with himself to beat his own high score?
Believe it or not, more people than you know!
You know, now that I look at my statement I kinda feel like a hypocrite.
I though you would.
Yep, I can clearly remember myself sitting in front of the TV for hours playing Super Mario Brothers or Zelda, or some other game. Geesh! I'm getting old.
Give me a break.
Another thing, now that I am thinking back, yesterday I went into the gas station and saw those scratch off lottery tickets. Immediately I remembered my dream from the night before, I dreamed that I had this huge pile of scratch offs in my hands that I was waiting in line to pay for and I was just dying to scratch them before I got up to the check out counter.
And?
Well, I took it as a sign. I thought that maybe because I dreamed of the lottery, maybe I should buy a few scratch offs, you never know right?
Right.
So I get up there and give the guy a 5 dollar bill and 9 ones for gasoline on pump number 7 and then I hand him a 20 and say, "Yeah, and let me get 20 bucks worth of scratch offs too." So, He walks over behind the big ass wall of this HUGE assortment of scratch tickets and asks, "Which ones?" Now I'm thinking of my dream you know, I am going to have a scratch fest! "Whatever you think, any of them." I hear him start tearing off the tickets from the roll, ~rrrrrrrrrriiiiipp~ and that was it.
What?
That's all.
That story sucks.
That's what I felt like. He's like, "Thank you sir," and goes back to talking to his friend. This guy had handed me ONE TICKET! ONE TICKET! Give me a break! I just spent 20 bucks trying to cure my scratch fever, and this guy gives me one ticket! What the hell was that? I didn't even know they made damn 20-dollar scratch tickets! So I walk outta there feeling like a kid who just dropped his ice cream cone in a mud puddle.
Did you at least win something?
Not a damn thing.