33.
as the days passed
majnuun miraculously regained his strength
and a portion of his health
rejuvenated by this muted vivaciousness
his resignation to death receded
so he left the glen
he wandered across the sands of fate
that perhaps he may cross paths
with something that would somehow,
in some way,
lead him to what remained
his sole preoccupation
layla alone,
only layla
one day
as the night began to dawn
he found himself in the crosshairs
of a hunter’s bow
he raised his hands
hoping to prevent the arrow’s release
yet this did not avert the hunter’s advance
“i know who you are”
said the hunter
“although you purport to no longer know us
your father laid a road to your feet
for you to lead our clan with dignity and respect
but instead
your memory of us you erased
for the sake of one lady not of our clan
one you have never possessed,
and probably never will
“even if you forget your own clan
at least remember your parents
whose flesh is your flesh,
your breath being the continuation of theirs
a dishonorable son
who abandons his duty to them
deserves only an unmarked grave
but instead your father lays dead
buried in the earth
while you continue to drag
your disgrace upon it”
majnuun’s hands dropped
his body trembled uncontrollably
although his father had forecast his imminent death
news of its arrival delivered a brutal shock
he fell to one knee
using one hand to hold himself up
from complete collapse
“you should bend at the foot of his grave
to beg pardon for all your despicable, ungrateful sins
if i didn’t wish to avoid the flames of hell
i would kill you myself for your vile heedlessness”
with that,
the hunter disappeared into the falling darkness
majnuun remained low to the ground
crying tears of sad despair
as regret raged within
after this first exhalation of mourning passed
a pulling purpose seized his wandering
he scurried with great speed
through the night’s darkness
yet when the sun rose, he hid in shame
but when the shade of night returned
he continued on
to the shadowed garden behind his father’s home
there, the star-filled sky stretched over
the dirt that covered his father’s corpse
with measured steps he approached the grave
and stopped to bend at the foot of it
a sudden urge pulled him to lunge by the head of it
collapsing upon the soil that covered
his father’s head and neck
although pain mumbled his tear-drenched words
the indecipherable sounds were clear in his heart
a confession of iniquities
that would no longer be suppressed
“when you searched for me
i was often nowhere where you could find me
but now that i look for you
i come to where you are and still cannot be found
i can only imagine the grief i caused you
over these many years
a torment i’m sure played a part
in driving you to the grave
“how true it is
that we realize not the true worth of treasures
until they are lost
and such loss often forbids
recollection of them
in this world
a separation i previously chose
is now permanently imposed upon me
all that you were to me
and offered to be to me
are now forever sealed away
to leave me drowning
in torturous remorse
a realization realized too late
“oh father,
i beg now in repentance
pleading for forgiveness for all the agony
i caused you
the blessings you offered me
were met by an absent hand
without even a glance on my part
you fulfilled your duty to me as a father
yet as your son,
i abused and neglected your love
i recognize this only after death has stolen you away
to leave me with a debt i can now never repay
wounds that will afflict me and bleed unendingly
until i too am laid in my grave”
there he lay in crying laments
until the veil of night began to dissolve into dawn
as the night darkness fled the sun’s approach
so too did majnuun
devastated
struggling to accept
that he would never see
his father again...
❍ ● ❍