51.
it so happened
that after salaam returned to baghdaad
the well of verses from majnuun ran dry
yet within the silence that encased him
there was no shortage of new verses
spewed in his name
poets seeking to have their words
echo through the expanse of the lands
sustained the proliferation of verses
credited to the famous madman
the quietude of majnuun continued
even as bakht’s life burned away
yet no one had the courage to inform him
of bakht’s death
the quietude of majnuun continued
even as layla withered like an autumn rose
back to the earth
who was willing to inform him
of something that might send his lunacy
into an insane rage
so as people passed him by
they hoped for his verses
but left him uninformed
of these significant events
their silence regarding these matters
mirroring his silence
of no more verses spoke
yet their romantic hunger
was still tickled to delight
as verses sang in his name
continued their unimpeded flow
if they mirrored enough
the feel of majnuun’s poetry
they were sufficient enough
to appease the wanting ears
one so well known was kept so uninformed
about these vital facts of fate
that is,
until one man could no longer tolerate
what he felt was a sacred duty
to notify majnuun of these happenings
even if it resulted in harm,
even death
so the old man mounted his horse once more
roaming the desert sands
in search of a needle in a hay stack
until his eyes found the trackings
of an assortment of animals
that wound their way
into remote crevices of isolation
he slipped through gaps of rock
and tread upon the rugged terrain
until he found majnuun and his caravan
on a mountain plain
majnuun smiled with gleeful anticipation
but the old man could not even muster a grimace
as a tear fell from his eye
seeing this
majnuun’s countenance became scarred
with concern
sensing what must be troubling news
but he could not foresee the coming devastation
as the old man sadly confessed
“layla is dead”
dead
the word slammed shut
like a vault permanently sealed
the whole universe twirled around him
in an inexplicable motionlessness
nothing made sense
his feet sunk into an unconquerable gravity
dead
how can this be
only the burning screams
that stripped the flesh from his throat
made him feel like he was still alive
as something more that could not be expressed
tore at the core of his being
dead
somehow he found a way to lift his heavy feet
and more screams,
unending screams and blinding tears
the world became an indecipherable blur
immersed in the echo of screaming screams
as even the animals joined these desperate calls
of despair
who was screaming and crying for who
all sense of personhood disappeared
then suddenly,
his motionlessness imploded into motion
a first foot lifted to become a reckless run
searing his spirit against the wind
tearing his flesh against the unforgiving rocks
and running with such heaviness
that bruised his feet into bloody plumps
but the destination had to be reached
and he would let nothing stop him
not even death
* * *
all time and points of reference dissipated
as he found himself traversing the desert
with great speed
the pain of his body was nothing
within the pain agonizing his mind
a mind determined to go to her
and only her
layla alone
somehow he was drawn
to the very plot of land where her corpse lay
on the edge of bakht’s property
he stood above a withering rose
upon a flat stone with her name engraved
the flower replaced every few days by her
mother’s hand
becoming an unintentional marker
in the hysteria of his confounded consciousness
that rose was smashed underneath the weight
of him falling upon the grave
a thorn piercing deep into the flesh of his chest
an allusion to the metaphor of his bleeding heart
he literally dug his hands into the dirt
to try to hug the corpse below
and then,
with his breath not scattered by his movement,
he screamed again
a wail so terrifying
many servants ran away,
some with tears in their eyes
such was the resonance of his pain
when word was brought to layla’s mother
of his arrival
she fainted,
overcome by the knowledge of what was behind
those piercing wails
thus,
it was only his animals who heard his words
a blessing in disguise
given the deranged illogic they contained
his madness would not allow
anything to be censured
nothing withheld from the corpse
that left him betrayed
how could he bear having her
be stolen from him twice
this time for life
as she abandoned him
from marriage to the grave
“if you had to die,
why did you not die in my arms
you licentious harlot
who has leeched my soul with a curse of love
you, who follow betrayal with desertion
yet still, in my sickness,
i embrace my bondage to you
i who have been swindled as love’s fool
you kiss me with unending persecution
yet still i would kiss your decaying lips
to smear your blood upon my cheeks
and squish your decomposed flesh
upon my bleeding chest
“will you seduce the worms
with your nakedness now
when i have only seen you clothed
will you let the beetles penetrate your sweet flesh
when you have never once held my hand
will you spread your legs for subterranean serpents
when i have only fading memories of you to grasp at
you now disrobe for the dust of the earth
leaving me locked from the chamber of your grave
yet still
there is none other
who i will grant my devotion to
“even now,
you deny me the right
to dismember your body into particles of dirt
a privilege you grant to the earth you now return to
but you never returned to me
despite your claims of love
you never returned
adding suffering to my suffering
a burden i cannot relinquish in love”
when the words ceased
screams and deranged yells filled their absence
joined by the sounds of the beasts
well into the night
until suddenly
he rushed off as quickly as he came
only to return days later
to spew more lunatic complaints
his comings and goings continued to occur
sudden manifestations
and due to his unannounced,
unpredictable appearances
no one dared visit layla’s grave
and surely no one dared approach
that raging majnuun
and his accompanying wailing beasts
not even layla’s mother who beheld
the last words layla left specifically for him
thus, his tortured despair continued on
without any consolement
wading between mourning in the desert
and mad dashes back to layla’s grave
suffering upon suffering
all chance of hope and peace for him in this world
laid murdered at the threshold of his broken heart
there was nothing he could do to escape
what had become of him...
or what was left of his madness...
❍ ● ❍