52.
how many of us pursue what we live for
yet when that disappears
or is denied with an irreversible finality
continue on with our lives
seeking other pursuits
not majnuun
he found out after learning of layla’s death
that when everything he lived for
no longer existed in this world
there was only the awaiting of death
an unkind patience
sprinkled with the hope
that they might be peacefully united
beyond this earthly realm
and so it was
that as his decay to death
unfolded over the course of weeks
it transpired with a pace
that had the feel of many lingering years
no breath could pass quickly enough
especially when it was only followed
by another spiteful breath
that maintained great distance from
the fate he hoped for
but then that day came
when in the midst of a deep sigh
a sharp palpitation struck his chest
lancing an absence within that could not be filled
and from this quickly emanated
a weakness he never experienced before
his body shook
his heart quaked
with reverberating tremors
something deep within said
“go to her grave
now!”
so he crossed the sands
in his unsettled moving mourning
the hot sun beating upon his skull,
perhaps for one last time
as it began to set
he moved his frail body with wobbling steps
toward the grave just yonder
he just had to make it there...
there...
to his beloved
his body began breaking down in the final approach
it felt like the force of the whole world
amassed to bar his arrival
but he would not surrender to failure
he crawled with his animals inch by inch
until he could lay his cheek
upon that holy plot of land
love
as the dark of night began to settle
the wolves howled in place of his unvoiced wails
his breath hampered by inaudible utterances
that didn’t even register as whispers
perhaps prayers
or lover’s verses remembered
or curses of despair
or confessed fears of death
until, in the last of his body’s breath,
a strength summoned from his weakness
to declare
“oh beloved,
this torture untether from me
if thou wilt anything grant me
send me to where love beckons
for in this life have i toiled
in separation’s agonies
may the next world, i plea
grant me union with layla...”
thus, his arms gave out
grasping to the gravestone
the extended limbs serving
as a pillow of cooling flesh
for his fallen head
his body splayed out
upon the dust of the corpse of his love
yes, that word again
his dying serving as the climax
the whole of his life
surrendered to
love
he closed his eyes
because he didn’t want
his final sight
in this world
to be of this world
then
his final breath
expelled words of its own
“only you, my love,
only lay...”
the body abandoned
upon the grave of one who abandoned him
his soul departing
with an unfinished phrase
❍ ● ❍