4.
they were barred from each other
by this enforced separation
she saved her tears for the concealment of night
night crying into the night
for the refuge of a new day
but his melancholy was an open display
that did not deny itself any shade of light
as he walked his body through the streets
the people would stare and say
“look, here comes the lunatic,
that majnuun”
his madness so much encompassed
what madness is
that majnuun
became his name
as much as layla
was hers
his aimless appearances
would sometimes be announced
by sorrowful melodies pouring forth from his lips
his sight was obscured by an endless stream of tears
which could not conceive even the possibility
of an end to his suffering
and his heart,
invisible to the glares of others,
was like a split fruit laid open
the cruel air exhuming its fading life
to be an escort to decay
he became a fire that burned away
all that would extinguish it
a bloody, gaping wound
that ran from healing closure
a torment
for which there was no remedy
a leaf released from the tree
blown in any direction
by random twirling winds
without any control over itself
the more the misery persisted and deepened
the more qays became majnuun
no longer the self he was
he became even a stranger to himself
yet the bondage of pain and longing and madness
extracted a previously unknown poet from within
his suffering became the rhythm
the melody his pangs of love played upon
pronouncing verses of wonder and intrigue
this was the only reason he was not seized
and locked away
because at any moment,
his lamenting lull
could spontaneously become
a beautiful ode to love
that stirred those who heard such
into an ecstatic awe
even those who thought him mad
“i give song to love
cocooned within mine inconsolable agony
the heavens i petition
in hope that angels come to rectify this disaster
a travesty this is
created by humans who understand not love
let alone,
the truth hidden within their own hearts
“for if they did,
they would fight for me to be with layla
and even embrace martyrdom delivered for such
yet many of these same ears
are spectators to my tragedy
even moved as they are
by love’s flowing verse
emitting through my pains”
words such as these
served to remind the masses
of why so many humans
embrace the mystery of love
yet their remembrance, for the most part,
remained a passive sympathy
and resigned admiration
* * *
although she was within reach of his voice
it was as if she was many galaxies away
yet when she heard his words
she would become still and silent
as if peering for a star’s single light
within the folds of the concealing sunrays
her heart would fixate to absorb
the fullness of her lover’s calls
the explicit declarations
as well as the subtle
and unspoken
in these moments
it was as if she was with him
a cherished intimacy
that eventually dissipated
within the vastness
of their continuing physical separation
the memories of his poems
imprinted themselves in her mind
gems that kept him close to her bosom,
unbeknownst to him
but for him
although his words emanated from
the inner chambers of his heart
they only drove him further away
from all human connection
even from her
when others spoke to him
it was as if he was deaf
unless they said the name “layla”
that was the only word
that could break him from his spell
yet only for a moment
since he would quickly fall again
into this trance
that dominated his life
barefoot and uncouth,
he found himself more in the isolation of the desert
this seemed to be the only place
that matched the mood of his loneliness
alone yet drawn toward his beloved
starving yet only willing to eat that fruit denied him
imprisoned to his layla without a single chain
free to roam and call to her yet still in bondage
it was no coincidence
he found himself upon the barren sands
every night
where life is hard
where nothing grows except a strangled bush
here and there
there,
he would call out as many love poems
his mind and body could bear
but all in vain
since the desert yields no fruit or harvest
despite how many seeds you plant
and how much you till the sand
yet there would be those nights
when not even the threat of death
could deter him
from making pilgrimage to her prison tent
he would usually go alone
but occasionally
he would go with a few companions
fellow lovers afflicted by love’s torment
in the deep of the night
riding the swiftness and quietude of the desert gale
he would float to the threshold of her cell,
i mean, tent
and kiss the ground she had stepped upon
to steal a moment of peace for himself
his forehead pressed deeply into the soil
eyes closed, visualizing her footprint
his nose searching for even the most subtle scent
of her fragrance
or a drop of her perfume
or any smell that would remind him
of her
with repeated visits
what was first a quick bow
evolved into extended prostrations of silence
sometimes for hours
on bended knees
in proximity to his beloved
until the rooster cawed
the light of dawn beginning its approach
he knew he had to withdraw
with the withdrawing night
and he would leave, tortured in lament
each step pressing a thorn into his soul
this pattern of unknown visits continued
even after layla’s clan left the town
to resettle their camp
within the mountains of najd
their hope of dissuading
his unending public proclamations by relocating
quickly proved futile
for as they made their procession
to the more remote region
he stood upon an overlooking mount
and cried with longing voice to his beloved
“i wear no amulets to protect me
i hide not the jewel i seek
i veil not the wounds of my tortured heart
even as the world steals what is mine
oh layla,
if not to thee i had not already given my soul
i would toss it to the wind to scatter
among the battered dust of this world
the same wind i pray
will bring me a taste of thy breath
a glance from thine eye
a touch of thy bosom’s warmth
“oh layla,
how will i know that thou art thinking of me
as in the unhappiness of this separation i drown
i cannot even sleep because my soul knows no peace
everything else has become obsolete
for i will not allow anything
to distract me from my worship of thee
ay, i admit
for thee i have fallen into idolatry
from day to night and night to day
forever in devotion to thee i dwell
thou art the reason for mine existence
this truth i will deny not,
even if the world labels such
blasphemous lunacy”
although this gave rise to anger
among layla’s people
the beauty of his words could not be discounted
within the veiled howdah
containing the treasure pursued
there was a tear and a smile
acceptance of the bitterness and sweetness
fate was delivering her
and her beloved
“may our love endure, my beloved”
❍ ● ❍